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Title: Bad Day
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Will Graham/Lee Fallon
Fandom: Hannibal/The Big C
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 23, Defeat
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will Graham or Lee Fallon, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

This was definitely one of the bad days, Lee thought with a sigh.

Not only was Will working on a new case, and probably wouldn't be home until late this evening, but the pills he'd taken today were making him feel nauseous.

The doctors had warned him at the beginning of the trials that one of the side effects could be nausea, and they had said that it might stick around for a while. They had assured him that feeling nauseated a lot of the time didn't mean things weren't going well.

As far as trials went, this one was still in the nascent stages. He shouldn't let himself give up yet, shouldn't feel that this was another dead end.

But he'd heard those same words so many times before.

It was hard not to feel defeated when he felt that he kept hearing the same things all the time, being given hope and then having it cruelly snatched away.

Especially now, when he had more reason than ever to want to live and have a happy future and a long life, he thought, stroking Treasure's head as the puppy snored in his lap. He had a good relationship with a man he loved, a man he wanted to spend his life with.

He shouldn't feel defeated, he told himself again. This was only the start of the fight; there was still a long way to go before he would know this trial wasn't working.

He knew what it was like; there would be weeks of hope, and if he was lucky, the trial would work for him, and he would be on the road to recovery.

But really, how much of a chance did he have of that happening? he asked himself, letting that sense of defeat sweep over him again. How many trials had he started in the past with such high hopes, only to have them all crash and burn far too soon?

This time, there was so much more riding on his recovery than there had ever been before. This time, there wasn't only himself to think about.

He had so much more to lose now -- and loved ones who would lose him.

Lee closed his eyes, trying to fight back the feeling of defeat that threatened to swamp him. He couldn't let himself give in to despair and depression.

Even if he only had a little time left, he needed to try his best to enjoy that time, to make the most of it. He couldn't give in, no matter how hard it was not to let that depression sink him. he had to hold on to hope. It was what would keep him forging ahead.

He took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders and looking down at the puppy in his lap. Treasure opened her eyes and gazed back at him, yapping softly and licking his hand.

Lee laughed softly, smiling at the puppy. Maybe it wasn't such a bad day, after all.

***