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Title: One Big Day
Pairing: Will Graham/Lee Fallon
Fandom: Hannibal/The Big C
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will Graham or Lee Fallon, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***It had been the biggest -- and best -- day of his life.
Lee leaned back against the softness of the pillows, closing his eyes and letting himself relax. Will was here, in his arms, leaning his head against Lee's shoulder.
His husband. They were married now; sometimes it was hard for Lee to take in that fact. He was actually married to the man he loved more than anything.
He'd never thought that he would get married. He had been so sure that his life would end before he found love; he had given up on ever having the happiness that he saw other people take for granted, that seemed to come to everyone else so easily.
But he'd beaten the odds, hadn't he? He was here with Will, they had just made love, and they were married now. Cleaved together forever, and nothing could part them.
Except death, whispered a voice in Lee's ear, a voice that he firmly pushed out of his mind. He didn't want to hear it. Not now. Not tonight.
This was his wedding night, and it was going to be perfect.
The day had already been the most perfect day of his entire life. It had been the one big day that he'd always waited for, but had never really believed he could have.
Yet it had happened, and it had been just as wonderful as he'd always hoped it would be. He hadn't felt any pain; there had been no mention of his disease, nothing to take away from the joy and wonder of the day that he'd been joined in holy matrimony to the love of his life.
Of course, he would have to face facts later on, he told himself, suppressing a sigh. He couldn't hold back reality forever. And that reality wasn't pretty.
He had cancer. He was dying. He knew that.
But he could keep on with the trials, and he could keep hoping. Giving up hope wasn't soemthing that he could allow himself to do, not at this point.
After all, he had Will in his life now. He had someone he loved by his side, someone who would hold his hand, who would be there for him, who would help him fight. He couldn't give up. That would be unthinkable. He had to stay optimistic. For Will's sake.
Anything less would be letting Will down, and he would not, could not, do that. He had to fight, right up until the end, whenever that might be.
All he could do was hope that the trial he was taking part in now would work, but he had the sinking feeling that like all the others, this one was going nowhere.
It just didn't seem fair. He had so much to live for now.
Why was it that so many trials seemed to work for others, but never for him? It hadn't really seemed to matter so much when before, but now, it definitely did.
When he hadn't had Will in his life, he had just been going from trial to trial, wondering how much longer it would be before he finally gave up. He'd been marking time, treading water, and he hadn't really cared that much if he stuck around, or took his final bows.
But now .... Now, there was so much more in his life, so much to live for. He'd just gotten married. He had finally found the love that he'd spent his entire life searching for. He was happy and fulfilled, and what was more, he made Will happy. He couldn't just let that go.
He couldn't turn his back on all that he'd found. He couldn't give up. And yet, he knew how hard it could be to keep going, to keep hoping.
And how hard it was to deal with the disappointment.
That had happened time and time again; he'd stopped counting how many times he'd heard the words that told him, kindly but firmly, that the treatment wasn't working.
Those words had ceased to mean much to him; at least, they hadn't until he'd met Will. But now, he felt a fierce desire to live, to make his life all that it could be.
He'd never had a reason to keep on going before, not like he did now. Leaving Will behind was unthinkable. Not just for himself and his own need to live, either, Lee told himself. He didn't want to leave Will with a broken heart. He didn't want to leave the man he loved alone.
Why was he thinking of this now? They'd just gotten married, and they had just had an amazing wedding night. He didn't need to be thinking such dark, unhappy thoughts.
Firmly, decisively, he pushed those thoughts away and slammed a door on them.
Those were the last kinds of thoughts that he needed to be indulging in now. He didn't need them to crowd in on him and destroy the happiness he was feeling.
And he was happy, Lee thought, unable to hold back his smile. He was married to the man who held his heart in the palm of his hand, they'd had a beautiful wedding, and the night that had followed their big day had been just as incredible, if not even more so.
There was no reason for him to think of things that would only make him unhappy. And he wasn't going to let Will know about the thoughts that had been going through his mind.
He wasn't going to make his husband unhappy. Not tonight.
This had been their big day, and he wanted to hold on to the happiness that he'd felt all day for as long as he possibly could. He was reluctant to let it go.
He wouldn't let that happiness fade, Lee told himself firmly. He would hold onto it, and treasure it, for all of his life. He would always remember this day, and this night.
He was sure that Will would, too, he thought with a soft smile, raising a hand to stroke his new husband's hair. The two of them would always remember their wedding day -- and the night that had followed -- as being the best day of their lives.
It was only the start of their life together, he told himself. And there was no room for dark, unhappy thoughts. This was their time to be happy.
Life wasn't always perfect. He knew that better than most people. But there were days like this one, days when perfection was within their grasp, when it actually happened.
He would treasure this day for all of eternity.
"What are you thinking?" Will asked him, his voice soft. Lee's gaze went to his husband's, and he smiled again; his voice, when he spoke, was soft and loving.
"Us," he replied in a whisper. "I'm thinking about us, and how perfect today was -- and tonight, since we've been home. I'm thinking about how perfect our life together is going to be. And I'm thinking of the future that we're going to have. I can't wait for it to start."
There was no need to tell Will about the darker thoughts he'd been having only moments before. He wasn't going to spoil this night by bringing them out into the open.
He wasn't going to let those thoughts take precedence. They didn't need to.
"Our life together started today, when we stood at that altar and pledged ourselves to each other," Will told him, his voice a mere whisper. "This has been the best day of my life, Lee."
"Mine, too," Lee answered, bending his head to kiss his husband, his hands moving down Will's back. Within a few moments, the dark thoughts were gone, disappearing from his mind.
All he could think of was Will, and their future together.
For now, nothing else was important. Only the two of them.
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