Title: Blank Slate
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 17, Dirty
Author's Note: Sequel to "Shards of Memory."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
Will sighed as he leaned back against the headboard of Hannibal's bed, searching his memory for anything that might tell him what had happened just two nights ago. But his memory remained frustratingly blank, not giving up any secrets it might hold.There was nothing there, nothing but a blank slate. Will was sure that his memory would open up at some point, but for now, it was being silent.
It was annoying not to know what had happened to him; he wanted to put a face to his attacker, to know who had dared to touch him. He was just grateful that there had been nothing more than a physical attack; a sexual one would have been too much.
He already felt dirty enough without feeling victimized.
If he was honest with himself, he had been victimized, though luckily not in the sexual sense. But he didn't want to think of himself as being a victim.
That would strip away far too much of his confidence, and he had precious little of that as it was most of the time. He didn't need to think of himself as having been helplessly manipulated; it shook him to his core to realize that he'd been powerless against his attacker.
Or what if there had been more than one?
It seemed that was a possibility; his body was so badly bruised that two people could have beaten him up instead of just one. But t didn't feel right to think that he could have stayed in his sleepwalking state while something like that was happening to him.
But he apparently had, and that knowledge shook him even more than the attack itself. He hadn't known what was happening. He'd been oblivious to it all.
It terrified him to think that he'd had no control.
Every time he thought of that loss of control, he felt dirty, as though he'd somehow been tainted by what had happened. Even though he knew that Hannibal didn't feel the same, he couldn't help wondering if his boyfriend would somehow see him in that way as well.
He didn't want this to affect his relationship with Hannibal. He didn't want them to be torn apart by what had happened. But he feared that it was possible.
Will pushed that thought away, locking it down and slamming a door on it. He hated feeling dirty, hated feeling that he would always feel tainted and never be clean again. And he hoped that together, he and Hannibal could find out who had done this, before it drove him insane.
If they didn't put a picture on that blank slate, this feeling of being tainted would obliterate him.
***
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