Title: Happiness
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: 20 in 20 Challenge, tv_universe
Prompt: 9, Happy
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
Had he ever really been happy before he'd met Hannibal?Will didn't think so. He'd known moments of joy, brief periods of happiness, but nothing that had ever lasted. Nothing like the happiness that Hannibal brought into his life.
He had a right to that happiness, he told himself firmly. He had a right to be loved, and to give love. He didn't have to feel that just because of his empathy, just because of what he did for a living, he had to deny himself the joy of being involved with someone.
He wasn't some kind of freak show for others to laugh at.
Will's hands clenched at his sides; that thought always made him angry. He had lived for so long feeling that he was some kind of freak, something to be locked in a cage so that people could study him, that the resentment always simmered under the surface.
That was how Jack thought of him. That was how most of his FBI colleagues thought of him. He was just something to be poked and prodded, studied as a lab specimen.
But he wasn't. He was a human being, a person who needed to be loved. He had hidden that need away, even from himself, for so long -- but Hannibal had brought it out. Hannibal had made him realize that love was important to him -- and that he needed it.
Hannibal made him happy. More so than he'd ever been.
It didn't matter that they weren't physically involved yet; the feelings were there, and the physical closeness would come in time. They didn't need to go rushing into that; they would both know where they were ready to take that step.
Will wasn't sure that he was ready to take a huge step in that direction yet, but he was sure Hannibal was. After all, Hannibal had all the experience here.
He'd never felt that his virginity was a burden before he'd fallen in love with Hannibal. But now, it seemed like a yoke around his neck, a chain that kept him from running free. It was almost something that he wanted to get rid of as soon as possible.
No, he shouldn't think of it in that way.
He would be happy to give his virginity to Hannibal. It wasn't something that he needed to dispose of; it was a gift that he would give to the person he loved, a gift that he'd waited a very long time to bestow. He knew that he was giving it to the right person.
It made him happy to think that not only would Hannibal be the first, but he'd be the only. Will didn't want anyone else; he would never be with another person.
There was no one else he wanted to be with. Hannibal was the only one for him; he couldn't even think about being intimate with anyone else. He didn't think he'd ever be happy with anyone else. They would just be a substitute for the one person he really wanted.
Hannibal held the key to his happiness. He always had.
Ever since the first time they'd met, Hannibal had made his spirits rise. He had enjoyed the verbal sparring between them; even though he'd said that he didn't find Hannibal interesting, he'd been lying. He found everything about this man fascinating.
Hannibal knew it, too. That knowing little smile that usually greeted Will when he showed up for a session told him that Hannibal could see right through him.
If that was so, then Hannibal could see his happiness, too. He had to know how he made Will feel; he might not have ever told Hannibal in so many words that he was the arbiter of Will's happiness, but he was sure that the other man knew that without having to be told.
He would have thought that it was obvious.
He always had a smile on his face lately, and that was all due to Hannibal. Even when other things in his life were going badly, when a case had him running around in circles, he could always count on thoughts of Hannibal to make him happy.
As long as he held on to that happiness, everything else would fall into place, Will told himself firmly. Or at least, he hoped they would. That would remain to be seen.
***
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