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Title: His Weakness
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Sequel to "An Easy Victim."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
He hated feeling that Will was a weakness.But the fact remained that it was the truth. He couldn't be objective when it came to Will; the young man took up most of his thoughts, even when he was with one of his patients.
Hannibal found it hard to concentrate on anything but Will lately; when other people were talking, he tuned them out, his inward gaze focused on only one person.
He'd found himself asking patients to repeat what they had been saying, and he knew that a few of them were getting annoyed with him. They could tell that he wasn't entirely focused on them, and he had been toying with the idea of telling them that they needed a new psychiatrist.
Of course, he couldn't do that with too many patients, or he wouldn't have enough to fill his hours, or to keep his practice thriving. He couldn't turn patients away.
No, he was going to have to overcome this weakness, to try and focus his attention on something other than Will. But he was sure that would be more easily said than done.
It was so hard to take his mind away from Will.
He couldn't admit what he'd been doing. He couldn't let Will know that he had been watching his home in Wolf Trap, that he had been watching the object of his obsession.
Was this an obsession? Hannibal's brow furrowed in contemplation as he considered the word. He didn't feel that it was, though others might think differently.
Will was a weakness, not an obsession. It didn't matter that there were times when he was watching Will's house that he couldn't account for everything that he had done, times when he seemed to black out, or to go into some sort of fugue state that he would awaken from much later.
Will wouldn't understand that. He might even start having doubts about Hannibal being his psychiatrist, and that wasn't going to be allowed to happen.
He must appear to be strong and capable in all ways in Will's eyes. He didn't want the younger man to have any sorts of doubts about him. That simply wouldn't do.
He wanted to be the man who swooped in to help Will whenever it was needed, the man who Will depended on. He wanted Will to turn to him in times of trouble, of crisis, whenever he felt that he couldn't cope. He wanted to be Will's rock, the one he leaned on.
Perhaps wanting to be that sort of stability for someone else was a weakness, he mused. But he wouldn't have it any other way. It was what he wanted to be.
If Will knew about his weaknesses, then doubts would creep in, and he wouldn't be that rock, that stability. He wouldn't be Will's here any longer.
He needed to be seen as being larger than life.
He needed the kind of hero-worship that only someone like Will could give him. No, not someone like Will, he corrected himself. He needed that from Will.
That was his weakness, that need to be seen as something more than most people viewed him as. And it would only do if that kind of admiration came from the person he was fixated on.
Did that meant that something was wrong with him? Hannibal tossed that thought away as quickly as it came to him. Of course there was nothing wrong with the way he thought. Many people needed to be seen as being larger than life. He was simply one of those people.
He would never admit that Will was a weakness to anyone, of course. It wasn't something that he wanted people to know. It would be too easy for someone to use that weakness against him.
He didn't even want Will to know. There could conceivably come a day when Will would want to wriggle out from under his influence, and he couldn't allow that to happen, either.
No, he couldn't let himself view Will as being his weakness.
Hannibal took a deep breath, standing up and straightening his tie. He had a patient due in a few moments, and he had to push thoughts of Will out of his mind -- for now.
But they wouldn't be gone for long, and he knew it. Even as he headed for the front door at the insistent ring of the doorbell, he knew that this would be another session where he thought about Will, and not on the person who was there in front of him, talking about their problems.
He didn't care about them. Not really. The only person he cared about -- other than himself -- was Will. And all he could think about was when he would see Will again.
Not in a session, but in a more intimate setting.
Yes, maybe that did make Will a weakness, though he didn't want to admit to the fact. It was hard enough to admit to himself that he had an innate need for the other man.
This wasn't the time to think about Will, Hannibal told himself firmly as he pasted a smile on his face and prepared to open the front door. He could ruminate on his weakness later, when he was alone.
When he had time to fully absorb the implications of all that Will was to him.
And also, all that Will had the potential to become.
***
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