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Title: Inadequate
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: writers_choice
Prompt: #133, Remote
Author's Note: Sequel to "Watcher in the Woods."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Will peered out through the curtains, his gaze searching the woods.
No, there didn't seem to be anyone out there. And he didn't have the feeling any more that he was being watched. But he couldn't shake the feeling that there had been someone out there, someone whose eyes were on him, their faze following his every move.
He knew that he wasn't wrong. A shudder shook his body as he let the curtain fall back into place and went to sit on the couch, his hands starting to tremble.
Someone had been there in the woods, watching him. And that fact made him feel even more isolated and remote from the rest of the world than he usually did. It wasn't a feeling that he enjoyed, and for felt like the millionth time, he wondered why he lived here.
It wasn't that he didn't like his house. No, he loved it.
But he had to admit, it was remote. The closest house to his was over a mile away, and if there was ever a time when he needed help, it wouldn't be forthcoming.
He was too far away from anyone else to expect any help, should he need it. That thought in itself was enough to make him shiver; as much as he loved his home, it hadn't really dawned on him until now that he might have put himself in a dangerous position by living here.
But he didn't want to move into the city of Vienna, or anywhere else, just so he could feel as though there were more people around if he needed them.
No, he treasured his solitude. He'd always been a person who liked his privacy; moving away from this remote location would only make him miserable.
If he lived in the city, in Vienna or even closer to Quantico or DC, then there would only be more eyes around to see into his business, Will thought with a sigh. That wasn't what he wanted. What he did want was to be able to feel .... well, safer.
Maybe this sudden need for safety was something he and Hannibal needed to discuss in their next session, he thought, a wry smile twisting his lips.
Of all the subjects they touched on, his safety was never one of them.
Why was that? he mused. They'd talked about things like that long ago, before they had become lovers, when they were both still desperately trying to pretend that they only viewed each other as friends. But now, those kinds of subjects felt as if they were forbidden.
Probably because Hannibal felt some kind of need to protect him, and knowing that Will didn't feel safe in his own home would only make him feel .... inadequate.
Will had to smile at the idea of Hannibal Lecter feeling inadequate about anything. There was no way that would ever happen, he scoffed inwardly. Hannibal wasn't the kind of man who would ever let anything make him feel as though he was failing in some way.
Or was he wrong? Could Hannibal feel that way?
Ever since these horrible murders had started, these seemingly random killings of men who looked like him, Hannibal had seemed to want to keep him closer.
Was Hannibal afraid for him? Did he feel, in some way, that his protection was inadequate? Did he fear for his lover's safety? Will had to wonder about that, but he didn't feel that it was something he could simply come out and ask Hannibal directly.
Hannibal wasn't the sort of man who talked about his weaknesses -- and Will knew that a failure to protect his lover would be seen as a weakness.
His boyfriend had often hinted that he would like for Will to be closer to him than a little over an hour's drive away, but Will couldn't bring himself to move to Baltimore.
If he was there, then he would be further from his job at the FBI Academy -- and it would be harder for Jack to reach him if he was needed on a case quickly, he had argued. It wouldn't be any more convenient for anyone than him living in Wolf trap was.
And actually, when it came to the question of distance from his job, Wolf Trap was actually closer, he thought with a sigh. Who would have thought that this place would be close to anything?
Of course, there were other reasons why he liked his remote location.
He liked the fact that no one could bother him here; most people at the FBI only had some vague notion of where he lived. They knew that his address was Wolf Trap, but they didn't have the foggiest notion of how to find his house. And Will liked it that way.
He didn't want people to be able to find him easily. His boyfriend, his boss, and a few choice friends knew where he lived. No one else needed to know.
But now, he was starting to wonder if that was such a good idea. If there was someone watching him, being in such a remote location, with anyone who could help him at least a mile away -- if they were even home at the time -- seemed more dangerous than soothing.
He loved his home here. But it might not be the best place for him to be now.
For a few moments, he considered closing the house, finding someone to take care of the dogs for a while, and staying with Hannibal in Baltimore.
It wouldn't be that hard to do -- but he wasn't sure that he wanted it. He liked things as they stood; he was comfortable with the status quo of his relationship with Hannibal. Staying with him, admitting that he wasn't comfortable in his own home, would change a lot of things.
It would make him far more dependent on Hannibal than he wanted to be, and even though he loved the man he was involved with, he wasn't ready for that yet.
Their relationship was at a point where they might need to make some choices, and becoming closer in more than just an emotional way was one of them.
He wasn't ready to admit that it might be time for them to take a few steps further into their relationship. He wanted things to stay as they were now, even if he was living at a fairly remote distance from his boyfriend and, in some ways, keeping them at arm's length.
He had no idea what Hannibal might think. Maybe it was something else they should discuss during their next session, only two days from now.
He would see Hannibal on a personal basis before they'd actually have a session.
That thought brought a smile to his face, in spite of all that he was feeling at the moment. Just thinking about his boyfriend made him feel less remote, less isolated. Suddenly, it didn't seem to matter that Hannibal was over an hour away in Baltimore.
It felt as though he was right here, next to Will. All he had to do was to think about the man he loved, and he could feel Hannibal's concern and care wrapping around him.
He didn't have to be right there with Hannibal to feel safe and secure, but maybe it would be a good idea to spend some time there in Hannibal's home, at least until they had a more clear idea of who might be watching Will's home.
He would start the wheels in motion to do that as soon as possible.***
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