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Title: Don't Leave Without Me
Pairing: Will Graham/Lee Fallon
Fandom: Hannibal/The Big C
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will Graham or Lee Fallon, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***Will held up his hand in front of his face, looking at the ring and smiling.
It still didn't seem possible that he and Lee were engaged. If there had been one thing in his life he hadn't expected, it was Lee popping the question.
But Lee had asked Will to marry him, and he'd said yes. He knew that they might have a long and bumpy road to travel, but he couldn't have given his boyfriend any other answer.
He wanted to marry Lee. He wanted the two of them to be together forever, even though he knew that for them, "forever" could be a much shorter time than it was for other couples. Their version of forever could, by necessity, only be a fairly brief period of time.
Will closed his eyes, swallowing hard. He knew that there was a good chance this drug trial wouldn't work for Lee. At the moment, things seemed to be up and down.
One day Lee would feel great, as though the trials were working well and there was a lot of hope. The next day, he'd feel terrible, worse than he had before the trials had started.
Will didn't really know what to believe any more.
He didn't let Lee see how frightened he was, didn't give his boyfriend reason to think that he had a hard time holding on to hope. He stayed positive around Lee, pushing the darkness away.
That was getting harder and harder to do each time he had to see Lee huddled under a blanket, pale and weak, having a hard time doing so much as lifting a coffee cup to his lips to swallow some liquid. Seeing that broke his heart, and made him want to burst into tears on the spot.
But he didn't. He kept going, trying to stay positive and not let Lee have a glimpse of how terrified he was that he would lose the man he loved long before he could cope with it.
He didn't like thinking about that eventuality, but it was forced into his mind all too often.
Lee was dying. He had to accept that fact, and he knew it. What the trials would do was give him more years of life, but they wouldn't save him from his eventual fate.
At the moment, things were going well, but who knew if they were going to take a turn for the worse? Will didn't like to admit that it could happen, but he knew that he had to face facts. Lee wasn't always going to be on a upward swing, and there might be some very hard times coming in the future.
Lee sighed softly next to him, and Will looked over at him with a smile. His love was sleeping soundly, a smile on his lips as though he was dreaming of something pleasant.
He knew that his love was going to have to leave him to journey on to the next realm of being long before Will was ready to say goodbye to him, but he'd known that from the beginning.
This time with Lee, no matter how short it was, would be worth the heartbreak of those goodbyes. Even a little time with him would be far, far better than never having known him at all, but Will knew that he would never be ready for them to part. It would devastate him, no matter how much he tried to prepare for it to come.
The thought brought tears to his eyes, and for once, instead of impatiently brushing them away, he let them fall. He knew that sooner or later, he had to think about this, and cry about it.
He couldn't keep his emotions locked up inside. That wasn't healthy.
He would have to learn to deal with the realities of Lee's disease, and be there for the man he loved. He owed that to Lee; he could give no less than his all.
Will realized that he had been lucky so far; even Lee's worst days hadn't been nearly as bad as they could be, and he hadn't had to deal with the harshest realities of Lee's cancer. But he didn't doubt that one day he would have to come face-to-face with them, and they wouldn't be easy to cope with.
But he would manage to do it, somehow. Even though it would be the hardest thing he'd ever had to deal with, he would stand strong, and he would stay by Lee's side.
They might be fighting a losing battle, but they weren't going to simply give in.
Will turned over onto his side, carefully easing one arm around Lee's waist as he spooned behind his fianc&ecaute;. If he was lucky, then Lee wouldn't leave him for a very, very long time to come.
He knew that he couldn't count on that, but he could hope for it. And in the meantime, he was going to enjoy every second that he had with Lee, and live life to the fullest.
Even if that life wasn't going to be a long one, he could still enjoy their time together, and live every day as though it would be their last. Will sniffled softly, hoping that the noise wouldn't wake Lee; he didn't want to think like that, but he had to face the inevitability sooner or later.
"Don't leave without me," he whispered, raising his hand to stroke Lee's hair. "When you go, I want to go with you. Being here without you isn't a possibility for me now."
He knew that those were the truest words he'd ever spoken; when Lee left him to go to the next realm, he wouldn't be living. He would merely be existing.
That wouldn't be a life. He would merely be waiting to join his love.
When Lee was gone, he couldn't imagine wanting to keep living. Will was sure that he would simply fade away, letting himself disappear into the ether of the universe.
Resolutely, he pushed that thought away. If he was lucky, it would be quite a while before he had to think about living without Lee -- and if they were very lucky, the cancer would go into remission and Lee would be able to live the long, full life that he so richly deserved.
There was no use thinking about being parted now. Not when they were still together, and when they had a wedding to plan and a life together to look forward to.
Even if it was a short life, it would be one that was well-lived, and every second of it would be cherished.
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