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Title: More Time
Pairing: Will Graham/Lee Fallon
Fandom: Hannibal/The Big C
Table: 20 in 20 Challenge, tv_universe
Prompt: 11, Angry
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will Graham or Lee Fallon, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***Kissing Will had been a revelation.
Lee stood in the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He hadn't expected to be so affected by a kiss; he felt as though his entire world had changed with that one action, that so many doors he'd thought were closed had suddenly swung open.
When Will had sat down at his table in the café, he should have finished his coffee, smiled politely, and left. He should have let the possibilities die.
After all, what did he have to offer a man like Will? He was dying. Yes, the cancer could be slowed down, but it had more than likely gone too far for any treatments to work more than a short amount of time. At best, he would have a few years. No more.
Will deserved more than that. He deserved a lifetime with someone who loved him, someone who would be there for him. He deserved more than a few months, or a few years. He deserved .... everything. Everything that Lee couldn't give him.
He was falling in love with someone he would have to leave.
Not by his own choice, of course. He knew that he wouldn't leave Will as long as he was alive. He couldn't. His heart was already too involved; there was no way he could walk out on this man and live with himself, even for a brief time.
He couldn't hurt Will like that. But he couldn't help thinking that he had no future, nothing to offer. Will would say otherwise, of course, but Will hadn't lived with the knowledge of death riding on his shoulder for the past few years. He didn't know what it was like.
It made Lee angry to know that he wasn't going to be given a reprieve, a second chance, just because he had finally found someone to love.
Yes, these treatments could work. Yes, he could have more of a life ahead of him than he thought. But it was still borrowed time. Even if the cancer suddenly went into remission with these treatments, it would still only be staved off, not eradicated.
He would still die long before Will did. And leave his lover bereft.
Just the idea of doing that to Will made his eyes fill with tears. Lee raised a hand to dash them away before they could fall; he didn't want to go back into the living room red-eyed and on the verge of sobbing. He had to get his emotions under control.
He couldn't let himself be upset. Not now. He couldn't really let himself feel anger, either; he didn't want it to show, and for Will to take it the wrong way and think that he was the cause. He would have to push both of those emotions away, not let himself have the luxury of feeling them.
He didn't need them, anyway. They were both too negative.
Being angry or upset wasn't going to do him any good. It wasn't going to give him more time, and it wasn't going to further his relationship with Will. And he did intend for them to have a relationship, if Will wanted it as well.
It would be brief, but it would be beautiful. And maybe, if he was very lucky, this treatment would work, and he would have more time with Will than he thought.
What happened after that was anybody's guess. He didn't know how long they would be granted; he didn't even know if Will would want to be with a man who might not have much time left. But he would reach out, and he would take what he was offered.
Something told him that even a brief time with Will Graham would be something that he could take into the hereafter with him, something that he could hold close for eternity and always treasure. Whatever the next life might bring, he could take those memories with him.
But if he was lucky, he would have a long time to make those memories.
That was all he could hope for, really -- that fate would grant him more time than he'd thought he would have, and that he could spend that time with Will. Parting would be hard for both of them, but it was better to have each other for a brief time than not at all.
Would Will feel the same way? Lee hoped that he would; he could feel the anger rising in him again at the thought of Will being devastated by his death, at the unfairness of finding someone and falling hopelessly in love with them when he might not be able to offer them a future.
Ruthlessly, he pushed that anger away. He wasn't going to waste time on it. He was going to think of Will, of how much he wanted to be with him, and nothing else.
Taking a deep breath, he looked into the mirror, smiling at his reflection. He was going to let this go where it would, and if the path he was following led him into a relationship with Will, then they would take it one day at a time. That was all they could do.
He turned and strode towards the living room, back to Will.
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