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Title: No More Running
Pairing: Will Graham/Lee Fallon
Fandom: Hannibal/The Big C
Table: Table 2, 20 in 20 Challenge, tv_universe
Prompt: 20, Running
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will Graham or Lee Fallon, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***It felt so good to finally stop running.
H'd been running ever since he'd found out about the cancer, Lee thought as he turned over in bed and looked down at the man sleeping next to him. He didn't want to run any more.
He had been trying to outrun the cancer, to outrun what he'd come to think of as his fate. He'd been trying his best to put it behind him, to ignore the fact that he was dying. But he had slowly begun to feel that no matter how hard he tried, the end was inevitable.
Of course it was, he told himself. It was inevitable for everyone. He'd just had the rotten luck to know that his end would come long before it should.
But now that he had Will, he didn't have to run any more.
Will had changed everything in his life, changed it for the better. He didn't have to keep feeling that he was being pursued by a relentless fate.
He could finally stop running, Lee thought with relief. These clinical trials seemed to be working well for him, and he had more hope for the future than he'd had in a long time. Not only that, but he'd found the love of his life, and didn't intend to let go.
Will was everything to him, all that he'd ever wanted or needed. And he knew that Will felt the same way about him. He couldn't doubt that.
Every time he looked into Will's intensely blue eyes, he saw love. No one had ever looked at him like that before, as though he was the center of their universe. No one had ever loved him, or wanted him, in the way that Will did. He'd never thought he could find that kind of love.
And now that he had, he wasn't going to give it up. Will was the love he'd always wanted, the home that he had never ceased to search for.
Nothing was going to take him away from his home, from his love.
If this clinical trial ended up not working, he would simply go on to the next one, he told himself firmly. He had a reason to keep fighting, to hold on to life.
He'd never had that reason before, and there had been a couple of times when he'd almost given up and told himself that there would be no more trials, no more hope. He was tired of fighting was could only be seen as a losing battle.
But now, he had new hope. This was a battle that he couldn't afford to lose now that he wasn't only fighting it for himself. He had to keep fighting, for Will's sake.
Will would be lost without him.
Was that really true? Lee thought with a soft sigh as he watched Will sleep. Did Will really depend on him so much now, or was he merely deluding himself?
Will had been through so much in his life, been betrayed by so many people. Lee wanted to make sure that it never happened again, that Will was happy and fulfilled for the rest of his life. He wanted to give Will all the happiness in the world, and then some.
Was it really fair to keep him in a relationship with someone who was still battling a fatal disease, someone who might not have much of a future?
No, he wasn't going to think like that, Lee told himself firmly. He was going to be positive, to believe that this would be the treatment that worked for him.
If he didn't stay positive, then it would be far too easy to sink back into the depression that he'd managed to lift himself out of more than once. It would be too hard to keep going -- and that could result in him deciding that he had to start running again.
That would hurt Will more than anything else, if he made the decision to turn away and walk out of Will's life, even if it was for Will's own good.
He couldn't do that. He couldn't keep running.
The only running he should be doing now was in the marathons that he enjoyed participating in. There would be no more running in the personal sense.
He'd made a commitment to Will, one that he intended to honor. He had let his heart become entwined; he could no more leave this man now than he could rip out his own heart and hold it in his hand, and expect to still live and breathe.
Will was his heart. Will was his home, his happy ever after. Will was his destiny. There was no way that he could walk away. Not now, not ever.
Too many walls had come down; too many barriers had been broken.
There was no running away now, no matter which way the future turned. He had made a commitment to this man, and he wasn't backing down on it.
Still, was it fair to Will for him to assume this early in the game that they had a future together? If the trials didn't work, if things turned around on him, then he would have to find another trial, and that could take him away from Will for months at a time.
No, that wasn't going to happen. He was going to believe in this; he was going to make things work with the positivity of his thoughts.
Lee sighed, closing his eyes. That had never worked before, had it?
But this time was different, he reminded himself. This time, he had so much to live for that he'd never had before. He had love, and bright future ahead of him.
This time, there was much more at stake than just him continuing to live his life. There would be no more selfishness, no more thinking only of himself and what he wanted. Now, he had Will to consider. He had the person he loved by his side.
Lee smiled as he watched Will, reaching out to smooth his love's tousled hair. Yes, he'd had far too much of running. This time, he was staying right where he was.
There was no reason to run any more. He had found his home, found where his heart belonged. And if these trials took a turn for the worse, then he and Will would work things out. He didn't know what they would do, but he wouldn't leave. He wouldn't run.
There would be no more running. Not ever again. No running, no hiding, and no looking back. He was right where he belonged, where he had always been meant to be.
And this was where he would stay. Not just for all of his life, but for always.
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