Title: Nothing Matters Without You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Sequel to "Between Something and Nothing".
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
"I want to go to bed with you tonight."Hannibal raised his head at Will's words, looking surprised. He'd been sitting at his desk, taking care of the last of his paper work for the day as Will sat quietly on the couch, reading a book. The words had come out of the blue, something of a shock.
"Will, are you sure that you're ready for this?" Hannibal's voice was soft and questioning. "I don't want to rush into physical intimacy. It could be too soon for you."
Will shook his head, his intense blue gaze locked on Hannibal's face. Those sapphire eyes seemed to glow, to draw Hannibal into their depths.
"It's past time we were ... intimate," Will said softly, his voice gaining strength as he continued speaking. "I want to be with you, Hannibal." He looked up at the other man, his lower lip trembling slightly. "Don't you want to be with me any more? Or are you tired of me?"
"My dear William." Hannibal sighed, shaking his head. "Of course I am not tired of you. I just don't feel that we should resume our sexual relationship too soon. You are still suffering from an emotional trauma, even if you body has healed from the physical."
Now it was Will's turn to sigh.
"Has it ever occurred to you that I wouldn't be suffering from emotional trauma so much if I felt like I was still wanted?" he pointed out, looking down at his book again.
Hannibal considered that, turning the words over in his mind. It was possible that Will was right; the feeling of being wanted and loved was one that could go a long way towards helping him get past the emotional trauma of what had been done to him.
He owed Will that. He did indeed want to be with Will; he missed their intimacy, missed being inside Will, holding him in his arms at night as he slept, having carte blanche to do whatever he wished with that beautiful body.
He wanted to be with Will just as badly as Will apparently wanted to be with him, if not more so. But he didn't want to rush the recovery process.
Hannibal was sure that if that process was rushed, Will would only end up with more trauma, and more intimacy problems that they would have to overcome. And that didn't fit into his plans for their future. He wanted nothing of the sort standing in their way.
But still, if this was what Will wanted .... He sighed softly, closing his eyes.
He couldn't say no. He couldn't hold back. It was ridiculous to even try. He wanted Will with a burning need that took over every part of him. If Will were to say those words again -- "I want to go to bed with you tonight" -- Hannibal knew that he wouldn't be able to resist.
His self-control would snap, and he would carry Will up to his bedroom. He might even be rougher than he should be, simply because his desire would rage uncontrollably.
He had been without Will for too long. Three weeks had seemed like an eternity. He couldn't help but wonder if it had been the same for Will, if his young lover's body had been yearning for him just as his was every time he looked at Will.
Hannibal's self-control was already at the breaking point; it was so hard for him to sit here and talk to Will, to argue with him against the two of them resuming their physical intimacy. It would be so much easier to simply give in to the urge, to the need.
And that was what he would do, Hannibal decided, getting up from his chair and going to the couch to take the book out of Will's hands and set it aside.
Will looked up at him, his blue eyes widening in surprise before Hannibal reached down to take his hands and pull him to his feet and into an embrace.
When his lips met Will's, it was with an insistence that brooked no refusal.
"I've waited fat too long for you, my sweet William," he murmured under his breath, his voice ragged. "I have tried to be patient, but I cannot wait any longer. I need you, Will. I need to feel you, to touch you, to taste you. I need to be inside you."
"I need you, too," Will murmured against his mouth. "Nothing matters without you, Hannibal. I've felt like a ghost for the past three weeks because we haven't been together."
"You'll be a ghost no longer," Hannibal murmured, his hands moving to the buttons of Will's shirt. He could hardly wait to get those horrible clothes stripped from Will's body so he could see his beautiful boy naked, that wondrous body bared to his gaze.
He had been far too long without being able to look his fill upon Will's beauty; that would stop tonight. He would be able to look at Will any time that he wanted; he was sure that he would no longer feel that he had to deny himself that right.
Will wouldn't hold back. He had already made that perfectly clear. Hannibal wasn't taking anything from him that wasn't being willingly offered, by Will's own decision.
He had free will. He could stop this any time he chose to, and Hannibal would listen.
But he obviously didn't want to stop, and Hannibal agreed with him. It had been far too long since they'd had each other, far too long that they had danced around the subject of resuming their sexual contact. It was time to knock those barriers down.
Here, tonight, in his large bed upstairs, he would take Will again. He would be gentle and loving, and slowly initiate his young lover back into their sexual relationship. He would ease Will into things tonight; there was no need to rush him in any way.
Hannibal actually found himself looking forward to the night ahead, to the gentle intimacies of it. There would be no games tonight. Nothing but intimacy.
It was almost shocking that he could feel this way, that he could actually want to put aside the games and simply be intimate with Will.
Will was right. Life had been empty without this; nothing mattered without Will. Of course, they had never been out of each other's lives, but life had seemed very dull and desolate when he hadn't had their physical intimacies to look forward to.
That desolation was in the past. It ended tonight.
There was no reason for either of them to hold back their feelings -- or their needs -- any longer. He pushed aside the fact that it might still be too soon for Will; if his lover insisted that he was ready, then Hannibal would listen to him, and trust that he knew what he wanted.
His hands made quick work of the buttons on Will's shirt, pushing it down those slender shoulders and off, baring Will's flesh to his hungry gaze.
Will hadn't touched him, but Hannibal could sense that he wanted to; still, that could wait. He would let Will undress him once they were upstairs, but these moments were for him, to allow him to drink in the beauty that he had denied himself for three long weeks.
He wanted to look his fill, and to touch. Ah, how he wanted to touch. He wanted to let his hands and mouth roam over this exquisite body before he buried himself inside Will and brought them to the climax that they both so desired; he wanted them to be completely pleasured.
Hannibal had no doubt of his ability to do just that. He would give Will what he needed -- and then, he would give them both so much more.
Will was watching him intently, those blue eyes fixed on his face.
His own gaze matched Will's in intensity; he might not be seeing all that he wanted to as of yet, but he knew that he would once they got upstairs. They would each take what they needed from the other, each of them giving just as much as they took.
Giving was a new experience for him, one that he had never really known until he'd been with Will. Hannibal was surprised to realize that he found it pleasant.
Will was right. Nothing mattered to either of them without the other in their lives; they needed each other to feel complete. That, also was a new experience for Hannibal, one that would take some getting used to. But he had no doubt that he would, in time.
For now, he simply wanted to take his William upstairs, to give him what he wanted -- what they both wanted -- and see where the evening might take them.
Silently, Hannibal held out his hand to Will; when the young man took it, they walked out of the living room and towards the stairs, both of them knowing exactly where they were going. They didn't need words; their desires were focused in the same direction.
Both sets of footsteps quickened as they moved up the stairs.
***
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