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Title: The Perfect Ring
Pairing: Will Graham/Lee Fallon
Fandom: Hannibal/The Big C
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will Graham or Lee Fallon, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***Lee rested his chin on his hand, closing his eyes, trying to marshal his thoughts.
Was he going absolutely cuckoo? Should he even consider doing what was on his mind, or should he simply let things keep going the way that they were?
After all, he and Will were happy. They were getting along wonderfully, and he was falling more deeply in love with every day that went by. The trials might be up and down, but his relationship with Will was on steady ground, keeping him strong and lifting his spirits just when he needed it.
Would changing things, even the slightest bit, mess up the status quo? Would he be inviting trouble, letting the proverbial snake into the garden? Was he only asking for problems?
He didn't think so, but there was only one way to find out. The problem was, once he had taken those steps forward, then there would be no turning back. The question would be out there, and he would have put his heart on the line. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, either for himself or for Will.
On the other hand, if he didn't take his courage in hand now and take this step forward, then he might never be able to bring himself to do it. He might always shy away from what could be the best thing to ever happen to him.
He might be cheating himself and Will out of something wonderful.
That was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to live his life with Will, however much of it he might have left, to the absolute fullest. He didn't want to miss a single moment of that life.
He might not be sure yet that he'd been granted another chance, and years to live out his life with Will. But however much time he might have, he was going to grab onto it with both hands and hold on with everything he had. That meant taking the bull by the horns, as it were, and living that life to the fullest.
He wanted to marry Will. He wanted to get a ring, take his boyfriend out to a lovely romantic dinner, go down on one knee and propose to him. He wanted to do it right, with all the trimmings.
And, of course, more than anything, he wanted Will to say yes.
Lee didn't know if that would happen. What would Will say when he proposed? What would he do? There were so many questions, so many variables, so many ways that this could go.
Will could easily say yes or no. Lee knew his boyfriend well enough to know that Will didn't commit easily; it was something of a miracle that their relationship had fallen into place as quickly as it had.
He knew that Will loved him. He had no doubt of that; Will's love was never something he would ever have to question. But would Will think that getting married was the best thing for them to do? Or would he falter and turn away from the idea, unsure as to whether he wanted that for the two of them?
It was a big step for him; Lee understood that. Marriage wasn't anything to be jumped into, or to be taken lightly. But he had thought it over carefully, and it was what he wanted.
But at the moment, the big question in his mind was whether or not it would be what Will wanted. And everything hinged on Will wanting to get married, on him saying yes when Lee popped the question.
That affirmative answer wasn't guaranteed. Lee wished that he could have a better idea in his mind of just what Will would say, but he had no idea how his boyfriend would feel about this. They hadn't discussed it, and Will would probably feel that the proposal came at him all of a sudden, out of the blue.
Still, Lee knew that proposing was what he had to do. He couldn't keep the question back; and he knew that he wanted more than anything to be married to Will, for them to belong to each other legally.
He needed to know that he belonged to Will, and that Will belonged to him. He needed to know that if things took a turn for the worse, they would have that bond between them.
He wanted them to show their solidarity and their love to the entire world.
Would Will want to do the same? Or would he feel that getting married was too big a step to take while Lee's health was still in such jeopardy, and when he was still making a transition into this newest drug trial.
He wanted Will to feel that this was right for them both. If he didn't, then Lee wasn't going to push things, though he would be
disappointed. They would simply have to wait to get married -- though, to be honest, he didn't know if he would have time to wait. If they didn't get married soon, it might never happen.
Maybe Will wouldn't want to get married, Lee told himself, feeling discouraged. Maybe it was better not to ask, to let things simply go on as they were and forget about tying that knot.
But he wanted to make it legal. He wanted to have that commitment.
He had to ask Will, Lee told himself firmly. Whatever his boyfriend's answer was, he had to ask the question. He had to know the answer, once and for all, for his own peace of mind.
If Will didn't want to get married, then he would accept that answer. He might not like it, but he would accept it. He would do whatever Will wanted, and if that meant them simply living together and not being married, then he would deal with his own disappointment.
Will wouldn't be mean about it; Lee knew that. Will would let him down easily if he didn't want to get married; he would be sweet and loving, and there would be no recriminations.
Lee promised himself that he wouldn't be angry or disillusioned if Will said no; there was no way that he would let his lover know how disappointed he would be. He would just take the ring back, and they would keep going on as they were now, in a happy, loving relationship.
But he would always want to marry Will. He didn't doubt that for a moment. Until the end of time, until the stars ceased to shine in the sky, until the world didn't exist, he would want them to be united in matrimony.
He couldn't say exactly why he wanted that so badly, but he did.
If Will agreed, then he would be the happiest man in the universe, Lee thought with a smile. And if he didn't .... well, then he would still be happy with the man he loved. They just wouldn't be married, that was all.
Maybe marriage shouldn't be so important to him. But it was, and he couldn't change that about himself. He didn't want to change it. Still, if Will didn't want it, then he would adapt. They might as well consider themselves married at this point, after all. They just hadn't made it legal.
He sat up, glancing at the clock. He would go look for the ring tomorrow, while Will was at work. He didn't have time today, but tomorrow, he'd have the entire day to look around.
He would find the perfect ring, he thought with a soft smile. The perfect ring, for the perfect man.
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