Title: A Different Person
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: Personal Challenge, 1drabble
Prompt: 21, Dream
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
He wanted to believe that this was all a dream.But it wasn't. Hannibal had made that clear. He had a medical condition, one that would take some time to cure. Yes, it was treatable, but the treatments could take something away that had always been a part of him, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.
What if he lost his empathic abilities? What if he could no longer function as he was used to doing without them? There were so many unanswered questions.
Will didn't think that he would like the answers when they finally presented themselves. He didn't want to face those answers, didn't want them written in stark black and white.
There were times when he felt that all he wanted was for those abilities to go away -- and then were other times when he didn't think he could exist without them. They'd always defined him; that was one way of holding on to who he was.
Of who he thought he was.
He'd never been what anyone could call a "normal" person. It had always been a dream of his to be like all the other people he knew, to fit in, to be just like everyone else. But if that happened, he would lose his ability to help people, to make a difference in the world.
Without his empathic abilities, he was no longer special. He wouldn't know how to define himself, how to be the person he'd always been. Yes, he might be able to become someone different, maybe even someone better. But he wasn't sure that was what he wanted.
He'd been like this for too long. He couldn't let it go.
Once the treatments started, would the disturbing dreams go away? Would the stag leave his life and his nightmares, never to return? That might be a good thing, but it was still something that he was used to that wouldn't be there any longer.
He didn't deal well with change. And this could be one of the biggest changes of his life. It could affect all that he was, and force him to become a different person.
Would that change be one for the better -- or the worst thing that could happen to him? There was no way for him to know until it actually happened.
Will wasn't sure that he could cope with that. He was too used to being who he was; he'd never been all that comfortable in his own skin, but it was one that he was used to wearing. He knew who he was, and he wasn't ready to give up that security.
In the future, maybe that person would only exist in his dreams.
***
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