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Title: Pride Before A Fall
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***Will straightened up slowly from where he had bent over to have a closer look at the murder victim; for just a moment, he could swear that he saw stars. He had to wait a few seconds until his head cleared to step back slowly, shaking his head.
Damn Hannibal and his insistence on Will wearing that plug all day. Even now, after the day was nearly over, he still wasn't comfortable with it.
He'd already had to duck into the nearest restroom twice during the day and jerk himself off; he only hoped that the rest of the team hadn't realized what he was doing. If they did, then there was going to be a lot of talk -- and a lot of teasing from them tomorrow.
He didn't think anyone had realized, fortunately. Though the second time he'd excused himself and practically run for the nearest bathroom, he could sense Jack's gaze following him, and the older man had looked speculative when he'd returned.
Jack couldn't possibly know what was going on. He might guess that there was something making Will physically uncomfortable, but that was as far as it went. There was no way that he could know exactly what the trouble was.
If he did, then the man was a damned mind reader, Will thought sourly.
He certainly wasn't going to admit just what was going on; that was between himself and Hannibal. And with any luck, this would be a one-time-only thing. He didn't want to have to deal with this kind of discomfort on a daily basis; it was too much of a distraction.
That was exactly what he'd said it would be. But of course, Hannibal hadn't listened, and he'd broken down and caved to Hannibal's demands.
That had been a mistake. He realized it now; he should have protested against this, should have been more firm about not letting their personal relationship interfere with his work. But it was too late for that now; he'd have to deal with the repercussions of not being bold enough.
Really, it hadn't interfered with his work all that much, if he was going to be honest about it. He'd just been uncomfortable all day, and he was sure that fact had been remarked upon. It wasn't hard for everyone he worked with to see that he wasn't .... well, feeling quite himself.
For one thing, he didn't usually walk around with a noticeable erection.
It had been impossible to hide the bulge in his jeans; it seemed to grow more prominent every time he moved and the plug pressed more firmly against his prostate. At first, he'd been afraid that he would climax then and there, and embarrass himself publicly.
So far, that hadn't happened -- but he had no idea what the rest of the day could hold. He still had to get through a few more hours before he could go home.
No, he couldn't go home. He would be going directly to Hannibal's house when he left work; this had to stop,and it had to stop as soon as possible. He couldn't deal with much more of this; it would drive him crazy if he didn't have this plug out of him.
Will closed his eyes, his breath catching in his throat as a thought crossed his mind. Yes, he wanted the plug out of him -- but he wanted Hannibal inside him. He wanted to be naked under Hannibal, writhing in pleasure, his limbs wrapped around the other man's body.
He was hooked on Hannibal, much more so than he would admit aloud. Even without this added stimulus to remind him of his lover on a constant basis, his thoughts were never far from Hannibal, always wondering when their next encounter would happen.
All he had to do was close his eyes, and he could almost feel Hannibal moving inside him -- though that was probably more due to the plug he was wearing. If he didn't have it out of him soon, he'd have to run for the bathroom again to give himself some relief.
Only Hannibal would think of doing something like this.
One thing he'd learned about his lover was that Hannibal liked these little surprises; they apparently made him feel like he was in charge of any given situation.
He more than likely expected Will to show up at his place later today, groveling and begging to have the plug taken out. But he had too much pride to beg, Will told himself. He would be stubborn to the end, and refuse to give Hannibal the satisfaction of being on his knees.
As much as he needed relief from the constant pressure on his prostate, he wasn't going to beg Hannibal to give him that relief. If Hannibal wanted him to beg, then he would have a long wait before he achieved that goal. Will wasn't going to completely abandon his pride.
What was that old saying about pride coming before a fall? Well, he would hold out and suffer through a lot more of this before he would take a fall. If Hannibal wanted a battle, that was what he would get, no matter what punishment Will might have to suffer later.
Punishment? Why was his mind heading in that direction? Will thought with a frown. It wasn't as if his lover was going to punish him for not begging. Hannibal wasn't that kind of man. He could be a very demanding lover, but he wasn't cruel.
Wasn't he? Suddenly, Will wasn't so sure about that. He'd seen glimpses beneath that smooth, polished exterior, enough to tell him that he didn't know what the real Hannibal was like.
In truth, he didn't really know Hannibal at all.
Hannibal Lecter might be his lover, but he was as much of an enigma to Will as he'd been when they first met. They had been intimate; they had shared their bodies, shared moments that Will wouldn't even consider having with anyone else. But Hannibal had never opened up to him.
He had told Hannibal things about himself that he would never have told anyone else. He trusted Hannibal, more than he'd ever thought he could trust anyone. But Hannibal obviously didn't feel the same way about him; he'd never let Will see behind his barriers.
Oh, those walls shifted now and then to give Will intriguing glimpses of the man who was his lover, but not much else. He didn't know anything about Hannibal's past, about what his life had been like when he was a child, or even what he thought about their relationship.
He was sure that Hannibal needed him; there was something in him that was drawn to Will, just as Will was drawn to him. He didn't really know how he had come by that knowledge; maybe it was in the way that Hannibal looked at him when they were at their most intimate.
Yes, Hannibal needed him, but need wasn't an emotion. Will didn't want to simply be needed by the man he was involved with. He wanted more than that.
A part of him wanted Hannibal to surrender his pride and admit to that need, just as Will had. But Hannibal would never do that, and Will knew it. He was far too proud a man to admit to having a need for anyone; he probably wouldn't even admit it to himself.
In that way, they were more alike than they appeared to be.
He almost hated to admit that they were a lot alike in that respect; he hated admitting that he was too proud to break down and give in when it would be best for him to do so. But he was too honest to try to pull the wool over his own eyes.
He had admitted that he needed Hannibal -- but had he ever actually said those words aloud to his lover? Will didn't think so; if he had, he'd done so in a moment of passion that he couldn't remember. But he was fairly sure that he'd kept his neediness to himself.
Of course, Hannibal had probably guessed at it -- he was good at ferreting out Will's feelings, even if they weren't expressed in so many words. It was as though Hannibal could see into his heart and soul, as though he was capable of knowing what Will was thinking.
A shiver went through him at that thought. It was scary, knowing that his emotions could be so open to another person, when he wasn't sure of them himself a lot of the time.
Jack was heading in his direction, a determined expression on his face; Will sighed inwardly, trying to prepare himself for the questions that would probably be forthcoming. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with Jack's questions now; he wasn't mentally ready for them.
Jack stopped in front of him, his gaze moving down Will's body, then back up to his face.
"You're really not yourself today, are you?" he asked, his voice dry. His gaze flickered down to Will's crotch again; Will had the distinct impression that Jack was referring to his obvious erection. Why in the hell was Jack looking at that part of his body, anyway?
He didn't want to think about what the answer to that question could be. If Jack thought about him in a sexual way, Will didn't want to know. Jack was his boss; he might engage in a torrid affair with the man who was his unofficial psychiatrist, but not someone he worked closely with.
"Will, you should go home," Jack told him, his voice more gentle than Will had expected it to be. "You need to get some rest, take care of yourself. Go home and get some sleep, and then come back and look at all this with fresh eyes. You're no good to anybody in this state."
Will nodded, running a hand through his hair. Jack was right. He wasn't doing himself any good by being here, and he certainly wasn't going to get any insight into this murder when all he could focus on was the plug in his ass and how it was making him feel.
"Yeah, you're right," he said with a sigh. "I need to go home and rest. Thanks, Jack. I'll be better tomorrow. I just need to get away from it all for a little while."
Jack nodded, turning away without another word. Will was glad that he hadn't said anything; that look had been more than enough to let him know that it wouldn't be a good idea to show up at another crime scene in an obviously aroused state.
Damn Hannibal, anyway. This was all due to him.
Now he felt angry, as well as embarrassed. He hadn't asked for this; it wasn't something he'd wanted. It was something that Hannibal had forced on him; he might have agreed to it, but he hadn't realized all of the consequences it would have.
Leaving the crime scene, he headed for his car, checking his watch. It wasn't too early to go to Hannibal's; in fact, it was nearly the time he would have chosen to leave anyway, so it wasn't as though Hannibal wouldn't be expecting him to show up sometime soon.
Oh, how he wanted to walk into his lover's office and demand that this little game stop here and now, and that it never be played again.
But he wouldn't do that, Will thought with a sigh. He would swallow his pride, and ask Hannibal to stop this. He'd explain that it interfered with his work.
He could only hope that Hannibal would listen to him. Pride might come before a fall, but he was willing to forsake that pride if it meant that he'd never have to deal with another day like this one. Still, he couldn't help feeling that somehow, he was going to come out on the losing end.
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