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Title: Cry in the Sun
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Author's Note: Sequel to "Delicate Balance."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***This was it. Now or never. If he was going to turn back from this, he had to do it now.
But he didn't want to turn back. He wanted to forge ahead, to give himself to Hannibal completely. Will had never wanted anything as badly as he wanted to be with this man.
Yes, a part of him was still afraid, screaming at him to run while he could -- but he wasn't going to listen to that little voice in the back of his mind that kept telling him this was the wrong thing to do, that he would regret it. He couldn't imagine having any regrets. This was what what he wanted, what he needed.
He'd wanted Hannibal for a long time, and he was finally going to have what he had yearned for. It had taken long enough to get here, and now, he intended to enjoy every moment of what he was going to have.
His breath caught in his throat as Hannibal leaned over him, those dark eyes searching his face. When their gazes locked, he could read the same need in Hannibal's intense gaze that he felt in his own heart. This man wanted him, even needed him -- and he wasn't going to hold himself back any longer.
Will raised his arms to loop them around Hannibal's neck and draw the other man down for a kiss, his lips parting and his eyes closing even before their mouths met.
When he felt Hannibal's lips on his, he sighed softly, the sound quickly turning into a moan.
He wanted this. Oh, how he wanted this. His body was on fire; when Hannibal moved closer, his erect cock pressing against Will's thigh, Will couldn't help but raise his hips in answer.
He felt Hannibal shift above him, and knew that the other man was reaching for lube; he was sure that Hannibal had either brought some along with him, or that he was going to use that bottle of olive oil that was in the picnic basket. Trust Hannibal to be prepared for any contingency.
Will almost wanted to laugh at the thought of being relieved of his virginity out here in the woods, by the lake, using olive oil for lube. But it wasn't a laughing matter. It was actually happening.
He gasped when he felt Hannibal's fingers slide between his thighs, gently parting his legs. Opening his eyes, he looked up into Hannibal's face, feeling his muscles tighten involuntarily. No, he couldn't tense up; that would only make things more difficult. With an effort, Will forced himself to breathe deeply, trying to relax.
"There is nothing to be afraid of, Will," Hannibal said softly, still gazing into Will's eyes. "The pain is only momentary. I promse you that I will try to make it as brief as possible."
Will nodded, holding his breath, anticipating the pain and hoping it would be over with quickly.
But there was no pain; there was only the pleasure of Hannibal's fingers stroking his thighs, those cool fingertips sending trails of fire down his legs, making him writhe with anticipation.
How long would it be before those fingers were inside him, preparing him to be entered? Just the thought of their bodies being joined so intimately took Will's breath away; he had dreamed about this, wanted it with all of his being, but he had never thought that it would actually take place.
Now, all of his dreams were coming true -- and he was finding it a bit frightening, as well as gratifying. The anticipation, the desire, and the fear were swirled together into an exotic, heady mixture.
He couldn't deny that he was nervous, but he wasn't going to turn back now. This was what he wanted, and it was obvious that the man leaning over him wanted it, too. He wouldn't be hard against Will's thigh if he didn't; that, more than anything, that erection told Will that Hannibal was in need of him.
Without thinking, he reached out a hand to wrap his fingers around Hannibal's cock, eliciting a moan of pleasure from the other man. "Yes, Will, touch me," Hannibal whispered, his voice guttural.
Will nodded, smiling, only too pleased to do as Hannibal asked.
Moments later, his blue eyes opened wide and a gasp came from his throat when a finger entered him, pushing in slowly. He took a deep breath, willing himself not to be tense, to make his muscles relax.
"That's it, Will," Hannibal murmured softly. "Let yourself relax and enjoy this. I promise this part will not hurt, my lovely. I merely want to prepare you, to ease your body into this."
Will nodded, swallowing hard and leaning back on the blanket, even as his hand moved up and down Hannibal's rigid shaft. So far, this was far more pleasurable than he'd thought it would be; Hannibal was obviously going out of his way to take his time, and to make this good for both of them.
Another finger joined the one already inside him, and he could feel them scissoring gently, opening him, preparing him. Still, there was no pain, only a slight feeling of fullness.
Will lifted his hips, a soft moan coming from his lips. He was ready for more, ready to have Hannibal inside him. This was taking so long, and he wanted the consummation, the completion, now.
"Patience, my sweet," he heard Hannibal murmur. "Only a few more moments now, Will, and we two will be one. You will be mine in every way, just as I have wanted it to be for so long. Ever since I first saw you," that soft voice continued, "I have wanted you to be mine. And I think you've wanted that, as well."
Will nodded, unable to meet Hannibal's gaze. It was true. He had wanted to belong to this man from the moment they'd met; there had been something that had reached out to him, wrapped around him, from the first.
And now, it was happening. Now, he was going to belong to Hannibal. He was going to walk right into this man's arms, into his life, into his bed, and not look back at what he had been before.
This was a whole new life, and he was going to embrace it fully.
Hannibal's fingers slid out of him, and Will's breath hitched in his throat again; he knew what would happen next, and even though he welcomed it, he was still just a little hesitant.
He could feel the thick, blunt head of Hannibal's cock pressing against him -- and in another moment, pushing inside him, filling him in a way that he could never have imagined. There was a quicksilver flash of pain as Hannibal's hips thrust forward, then the sensation of being completely filled, of being .... joined.
He'd never felt like this before; the feeling of finally belonging, of having leapt an abyss that he'd kept himself away from for his entire life, seemed to reach for him and envelop him completely, from head to toe.
Hannibal was thrusting inside him, then pulling back only to thrust again. Will's first instinct was to tighten his arms around Hannibal's shoulders, to wrap his long legs around the other man's waist; all he wanted to do was to become one with Hannibal, to make this pleasure last, to make it intensify before they both reached the peak.
The sun was beating down on them, shining its rays into the clearing by the lake, the warmth making beads of perspiration run down Hannibal's forehead and bringing out a film of moisture over Will's skin.
It was perfect. It was more than he could ever have dreamed of, the feeling so intense that he almost wanted to cry.
His body was wound tight, on fire, the blood flowing through his veins at an accelerated rate. All he could think of now was reaching that peak of pleasure, throwing himself from that precipice.
He knew that when he did, he would plummet from the heavens back down to earth again, but that he would fall safely into Hannibal's embrace. He didn't doubt that this man would be there to catch him; he was putting his love and trust in Hannibal, believing that he would be loved, cherished, and taken care of.
His legs tightened around Hannibal's waist as his lover thrust into him again and again; there was no pain, nothing but pure pleasure, a pleasure that was quickly overtaking his senses.
When his orgasm broke over him, Will was astounded to realize that there were tears flowing down his face; not tears of pain or regret, but tears of joy. The tears marked hos grateful he was that he had finally been able to take the hand of a lover and leap that abyss that had always frightened him too much to even get near.
The sun was still beating down on their bodies when he opened his eyes; he had to squint against it, and blink back more tears that the brightness brought to his eyes, tears that threatened to spill over.
He didn't want to lie here and cry in the sun, but he couldn't help himself.
The last thing he wanted was for Hannibal to think that he was sad about this, that he regretted even one single second of what they had just done. He had no regrets about this; he never would.
But he couldn't stop the tears. Will didn't know what he was crying for; certainly not the virginity he'd just given up, which had been an albatross around his neck for far too long. He was glad that Hannibal had been the one he'd given it to; he couldn't imagine being with anyone else, or wanting to give that part of himself away to any other person.
"What's wrong, Will?" Hannibal's soft voice was full of concern. "Did I hurt you? Are you feeling any pain?" Those soft fingertips were on his face, gently brushing his tears away.
Will hastened to assure his lover that there was nothing wrong. "No, no, I'm not in any pain at all," he whispered, dashing his hand across his eyes impatiently. "I don't know why I'm crying. I guess it's just the emotional intensity of all this, and the .... the fact that I've just had sex for the first time in my life. It's a lot to take in."
Hannibal nodded, his gaze loving as he looked down at Will. He was propped up on one elbow, silhouetted against the sun, and looking at him brought tears to Will's eyes again.
He was so beautiful, his lover. A golden god, a man he could lean on and count on.
Will could feel the tears forming again, and he had to fight to keep them from falling. He didn't know why he wanted to just lie here and cry in the sun, but he wasn't going to give in to the urge.
He'd had the most wonderful experience of his life, and this was only the first time he and Hannibal would make love. They had a lot of years ahead of them, a lot of time to make up for. Something told him that they would be spending a lot of their time hidden away in their respective bedrooms, and that he was going to learn a lot about pleasing his lover.
Their relationship wasn't going to be easy. He knew that. It would be complicated, and they would have to make a lot of compromises and work their way around some obstacles in their path.
But since when did anything worth having ever come without a price?
He was willing to do whatever it took to keep Hannibal by his side. This was where he wanted to be, and this was the only person he ever wanted to be with. He was ready to make whatever concessions might be required of him.
As he gazed up into those dark eyes, Hannibal's head moved to the side slightly, and Will was blinded by the sun again. He closed his eyes, feeling an icy cold shiver of sudden apprehension run down his spine and lodge into his soul.
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