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Title: This One Night
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
author's Note: Sequel to "A Paralyzing Fear."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***Will gazed up at Hannibal with wide blue eyes, wondering what would come next.
He didn't remember exactly how they had gotten into the bedroom; he only knew that he was lying here on his back, sinking into the comfortable mattress with Hannibal poised over him.
He was trying not to look at the other man's body, but he couldn't help it. He should have realized that Hannibal would be magnificent without his clothes on; the long, lean muscles of his soon-to-be lover's body fascinated him, and he wanted to reach out and run his hands over that pale skin, to feel Hannibal's flesh under his fingertips.
He could do that if he wanted to, he realized with something of a shock. There was nothing stopping him. As Hannibal had said, there was no wrong or right in this.
Slowly, tentatively, he reached up to place his hands on Hannibal's shoulders, then moved his palms down the other man's muscular biceps. He wanted those arms around him, pulling him close, holding him against that lean body. He wanted those arms to hold him for the rest of his life.
Hannibal leaned to the side, reaching for the small table beside the bed, and Will's muscles automatically tensed. He knew just what Hannibal was reaching for -- the lube that had to be in a drawer.
What else could he possibly be doing? There was no other reason for him to reach for something.
The thought of being entered, being taken, made a sudden rush of fear spread over him. He still wasn't entirely sure that he wanted this; his mind hadn't quite caught up to what his body was feeling.
Was he doing the right thing? Would Hannibal still want him after this first time, or would he simply be a one-night stand? Would they go back to being no more than friends and colleagues, or would this night herald a more intimate relationship between them, one that would keep growing over time?
Will wanted to be more to Hannibal than just a friend, just a patient or a business colleague. He wanted to be in this man's heart, a part of his life that couldn't be compartmentalized.
He wanted to be the center of Hannibal's life, but that was ridiculous. Hannibal had more important things in his life to think about than a romantic relationship; he couldn't hope that this night would mean that Hannibal was willing to push everything else aside for him. He had no right to expect that.
He shouldn't expect from anyone else what he couldn't do himself. He had responsibilities, a job that meant something to him. He couldn't simply push everything aside for the man in his life, either.
But for this one night, he was more than willing to do just that.
What would happen after tonight? Will didn't know, and at this point, he wasn't sure that he wanted to know. He only wanted to have this one night to hold in his heart and in his memories.
If he never had anything else from Hannibal again, if this was the one night that they would spend together, as lovers, then he would reach out and take all that he could get.
He would hold this night close to his heart, and he would treasure the memories it would bring forever. And if he was lucky enough to have more than this one night, then he would Take that, too, and be grateful for it every day of his life. This would only be the first night of many, and he would cherish them all.
Will watched as Hannibal popped the cap on the small tube of lubricant, squeezing some of the substance onto his fingers, then looking down at him with a soft smile.
"Spread your legs for me, lovely," he whispered, moving his hand downward to gently push Will's thighs apart. "Soon now, my love, very soon, you'll have what you want. You'll have all of me."
All of him. A shiver of excitement went through Will's slender body at those words; soon, Hannibal would be inside him, taking him, making love to him. He would lose his virginity here, tonight, in this bed, with this man. This was what he wanted, what he'd yearned for. He didn't want to turn back or run away.
But still, it was a little frightening. The fear was mixed with the desire; he couldn't separate one from the other at this point. They were far too closely intertwined for him to do that.
He did as he was told, gasping when Hannibal's hand moved between his thighs, when those long fingers circled his entrance. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, willing himself to relax.
There was nothing to be afraid of. Hannibal wouldn't hurt him.
When one finger slid inside him, he couldn't hold back his gasp of pleasure; there was a slight burning sensation, but that quickly vanished, leaving behind only a burgeoning need in its wake.
Yes, he needed this. He needed to finally leap that abyss that he had always held himself back from; he had waited for so long to find someone who he wanted to make that leap with. He needed to close his eyes and give himself over, let himself trust that he would fly to the heavens and then fall safely into Hannibal's arms.
Another finger pressed inside him to join the second, and the slight burning sensation increased. But Will merely closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths; it didn't take long for the slight pain to melt into pleasure.
He wanted more of this pleasure, as much as he could get. He wanted Hannibal inside him, wanted to be filled, to be fucked, to be taken. No, he told himself, he didn't want to be fucked. He wanted to be made love to, wanted to be held and loved and cherished and .... possessed.
He wanted to give himself to Hannibal in every way, and he wanted to be enveloped in the knowledge that the two of them belonged together, that this had somehow been ordained from their first meeting.
He didn't just want this. He needed it, with every fiber of his being.
But there was still that little voice that screamed in the back of his mind, that voice telling him that he should be cautious, that this wasn't going to end up as he thought it would.
Will deliberately pushed that voice away from him, closing a door on it and trying his best to ignore it. He wasn't going to let all of his doubts and fears get the better of him. Not this time. He had come this far, and there were only a few more steps to take before he could throw himself off that precipice and fly free.
He would have to rely on Hannibal to catch him, but he was sure that he could do so. He wouldn't be here if he didn't feel that he could put his trust in his lover, would he?
And if all they were given was this one night, then he would accept that fact. He would keep this night in his heart, hold it close to him, and let it be the best memory he'd ever made. He would take it out and look at it when he was alone, relive every moment of it and revel in the freedom that he'd had for such a brief time.
Those fingers were moving inside him, scissoring, opening him and preparing him for what was going to happen next. Will's breath came faster, his heart rate speeding up at the thought.
He wanted this, but there was still a part of him that was holding back.
That part of him wouldn't be silent. It was still screaming at him that this was a mistake, that things were moving too quickly and that he had no control whatsoever over the situation he was in.
He tried his best to push those thoughts away, to focus on what was happening and not to listen to any voices of dissent. He was doing what he wanted to do, throwing caution to the winds, and he wasn't going to let any doubts or fears talk him out of it. For once, he was going to take a risk, no matter what might happen in the future.
When Hannibal's fingers slid out of him, his gaze met the other man's, and he knew that this was his last chance to back out, to pull away. But he wasn't going to. He was going to see this through.
Will closed his eyes, letting his breath out in a soft sigh, waiting for what Hannibal would do next.
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