Title: Tranquil
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: 50ficlets
Prompt: 30, Tranquility
Author's Note: Sequel to "The Happiest Man in the World."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
Hannibal was sure that he'd never felt this happy before.
He couldn't hold back a smile when he looked at Will; the man he loved was gazing back at him with what could only be called the light of love in those blue eyes.
It still amazed him that Will had agreed to marry him, and that his young lover was living with him now. Within a few months, they would be a married couple.
He hadn't begun the wedding plans yet; he'd thought about it, but he wanted both of them to savor being engaged first, to enjoy the moments that would lead up to the wedding. The planning could start later, after they had decided on a date, and had gotten used to being engaged.
It was still so new for both of them, this feeling of happiness, of having a future together. It was a feeling to enjoy, to savor to the fullest extent.
And with it came a feeling of tranquility such as he'd never experienced before, a feeling that all was right with the world, that nothing could take away his happiness.
He had waited a lifetime to feel this way.
No one else had ever given him this feeling of tranquility. No one else had ever cared enough to do so -- and he'd never let anyone else get close enough to him to even try.
Will was the first person who he had let into his heart. And there was no one else he wanted to be with more, no one else who he would attempt to give up his secret life for. He did intend to try, though he wasn't entirely sure whether or not he would succeed in doing so.
He really didn't feel the need for that life so much any more, though, he mused. He didn't feel the need to kill, or to use human body parts as food.
Was it love that was making that innate need go away?
Hannibal wasn't sure, but he wanted to find out. He wanted to explore his feelings about giving up that side of his life, but that had to be done privately.
He knew that he couldn't tell Will about that side of his life; that was a given. Will would instantly know that he was the Chesapeake Ripper, the killer that he had been seeking so assiduously. And Hannibal had no doubt that in spite of Will's love for him, his fiancé would turn him in.
Will would have no choice but to do so. He was a man of integrity, of strict morals. And truth be told, Hannibal didn't want him to change. He loved Will just as he was.
So, he would have to give up that side of himself.
Could he do that? Could he maintain this inner tranquility, this feeling of complete peace with the world, if he didn't have that private violence to turn to?
All he could do at this point was hope that it was possible, and work towards making it so. He hoped that he could control his urges; he wanted to put that part of his life behind him.
He wanted to maintain the tranquil life he had now; he wanted the two of them to be completely happy in their future life together. If he continued to keep the secret life that he had now, then there would be too much between them for this tranquility to last for very long.
And he didn't want to keep secrets from Will. He wanted his fiancé to know everything about his life -- well, at least the life that they would have together.
He couldn't let Will know about the past. If he did, then that strict morality of his would take over, and again, he would find himself behind bars, no matter how much Will loved him.
That wasn't the life he wanted for either of them.
No, he wanted the tranquility that they had now, the two of them sitting here at the breakfast table, ready to start their day. He wanted to have this for the rest of his life.
Would that be possible? Hannibal had no idea about that, but he was determined to try his best to make that wish a concrete reality. It wouldn't be easy for him to give up the appetites he had nurtured for all of his life, but for Will, and their future together, he would try his utmost.
"What are you thinking about?" Will asked him as he took a bite of scrambled eggs. "You look so serious, Hannibal. I hope you're not having second thoughts."
Hannibal laughed softly, shaking his head in answer.
"Never," he murmured, his gaze resting on the man he loved. "No, I was thinking about our future, Will. A future that I want to be just as tranquil and relaxing as this moment is."
He would make that wish become a reality, Hannibal told himself firmly. No matter what he had to do, he would keep this tranquility that he'd found in his life.
It might not be easy, but he would manage it somehow. After all, he had taken on difficult tasks before, hadn't he? he asked himself. But he had never tried to turn his back on that side of his life before; he wasn't sure that he would have the willpower to do so.
No. He would do it. For Will. For their future together.
Above all else, he wanted to make Will happy, and be a good husband to him. And he couldn't do that if he was keeping secrets, and trying to lead a double life.
He would turn his back on his past, and their future would be as tranquil as he could possibly make it. He would rise to the challenge -- and be the victor in the end.
***
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