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Title: Unexpressed Thoughts
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 28, Notebook
Author's Note: Sequel to "Unwanted Changes."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
"So, Will, what was it that you were so desperate to talk about?"
Hannibal steepled his fingers under his chin, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, gazing directly at Will, making him squirm uncomfortably.
Now that he was here, in front of Hannibal, and the other man was ready to discuss his theories on why he was heaving these premonitions of his own death, he couldn't think of a single word to say. Everything that had been in his head had simply vanished.
All of his words had vanished as though they had never existed; all he wanted to do was mumble his excuses, get up, and leave the room.
But he couldn't do that. They were here, after all.
Finally, he sighed, fidgeting and looking down at the hands that he had clasped in his lap to keep them from shaking. "I don't know. I can't think of anything to say."
Hannibal nodded, jotting something down in the notebook he held on his lap. "That's not surprising, Will. You usually have a hard time speaking words that you know you want to say. When you have the most need to speak, you feel that you cannot."
Will's blue eyes widened at that thought; he knew that Hannibal was right, and he wondered why he had never realized that fact before.
He always had a hard time opening himself up to anyone, even to Hannibal. But that observation was right on the money. Hannibal had seen into his soul.
Whenever he most needed to speak, he found himself holding back the words he knew that he wanted to say. His tongue felt as though it was tied in knots; he couldn't make the words come out. They were all jumbled up inside of his brain, unable to be expressed.
That was exactly how he felt now -- tongue-tied and silenced. But he had to say the words that he knew were there. He had to make Hannibal understand them.
Opening up to Hannibal now was really important.
What was he writing in that notebook? Will craned his neck, trying to peer at Hannibal's writing, though he knew that he couldn't read it.
He could do a lot of things, but he couldn't read upside down. Still, he would give a lot to know just what the other man was writing down, his ideas on the subject. He wanted to know exactly what Hannibal thought of him, just what went into that notebook of his.
Well, the only way to find out was to ask. Will took a deep breath and opened his mouth, ready to ask Hannibal just what he was writing, what his thoughts were.
And found that words, once again, refused to be spoken.
Why wouldn't they come out? Why couldn't he make himself ask a simple question?
He knew that it was because he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.***
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