Title: Untainted
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 17, Dirty
Author's Note: Sequel to "Pieces of the Puzzle."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
Will threw a stick, watching as Winston chased after it, barking.He jammed his hands into his pockets, sighing softly. He had dreamed last night about killing Hannibal, about how good it would feel to rid the world of that noxious presence.
Did dreaing about things like killing Hannibal mean that he was slowly but surely succumbing to becoming the monster that the other man had always wanted him to be? Did those dreams mean that he was turning to the dark side of himself more and more?
He didn't wanted to think that could be the truth, but it bothered him more than he could put into words. He didn't want to become like Hannibal.
Just the thought made him feel dirty and tainted.
Will knew that he could wash his hands a dozen times, a hundred times, a million times, but that he would never feel completely clean again.
He already had blood on his hands. He knew that. But he could assuage his guilt about that by pointing out to himself that what he'd done had been in self-defense, or to help an innocent person. He had saved people by taking evil out of the world.
Hannibal had tainted him. That evil had spilled over into his life, touched a part of his soul, and clouded the very essence of his being with evil intent.
He hadn't completely turned himself over to that dark side of himself that he knew lingered under the surface. But there had been times when he'd come close.
Was it possible for him to become like Hannibal, with no conscience, killing for the pleasure of it, the power it could make him feel? Will shuddered at the thought, grimacing in distaste. If he ever became like that, he hoped that he'd have the presence of mind to end it all.
That was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want to be what Hannibal had tried to force him into becoming. He had the potential, but he repudiated it.
He wasn't evil. He'd seen too much evil to want to embrace it.
And he wasn't going to let this continue to make him feel dirty. He wasn't tainted. All along, he had done his best to fight what Hannibal was trying to push him into.
He had succeeded, Will told himself. He had faced that darkness within himself, and he'd beaten it back. He hadn't given in to it, to Hannibal. He had stood his ground, been his own man, and refused to let himself become something that was anathema to him.
Will took a deep breath, feeling better about himself now. If he had managed to stand his ground so far, then he could keep doing so, for as long as he had to.
He was stronger than most people gave him credit for.
Hannibal couldn't push him into anything if he wasn't allowed the chance.
Will didn't intend to give him that chance -- not now, and not ever.
***
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