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Title: Waiting For A Sign
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Will Graham/Matthew Brown
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Will Graham or Lee Fallon, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
He was waiting for a sign from Matthew.
Will could tell that Chilton was watching the two of them; he had seemed to look at Will much more sharply over the past few days, as though he could see through him.
The thought of Chilton seeing into his soul, knowing what he felt for Matthew, sent a chill into Will's heart. The last thing he wanted was for them to be found out.
If they were, then Matthew would lose his job -- and Chilton would have every legal right to prosecute him for having sex with a patient. An inmate, really, Will thought bitterly. That was all he was here -- a prisoner. In Chilton's eyes, he was nothing more than some kind of experiment.
He wasn't a human being in this place. For all that it was called a "hospital," and the people here were referred to as being patients, they were nothing more than criminals.
He wasn't going to think of himself in that way -- because it wasn't true. He had done nothing. Hannibal was the criminal; he was the one who should be here behind bars.
But if he wasn't here, he would never have met Matthew.
Their coupling was staring to seem like a dream, something that hadn't really taken place. But Will knew that it was real, even though the soreness in his body was gone.
If he closed his eyes and thought back to that night, he could still feel Matthew thrusting into him, still feel those hands and lips on his bare flesh.
He wanted that feeling again, more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. He was waiting for Matthew to give him some kind of a sign, to let him know when they could be together again. He was trying to be patient, but it was the hardest thing he'd ever done.
It was driving him crazy, this waiting. He wanted to grab the bars of his cell and rattle them, shout that he wanted Matthew now, that he needed him.
But, of course, he couldn't do that.
He had to stay quiet, to keep his relationship with Matthew a secret. If anyone knew about what they had done, it would spell disaster for both of them.
Will sighed softly, leaning his head back against the wall of his cell. It was so hard to be quiet about his feelings, to not cry out for the man he wanted to be with.
He had to stay quiet. He couldn't let anything slip.
Matthew had to do the same thing -- and Will was sure that it was just as hard for him. Harder, probably, because he had to be around people all the time.
They both had to face Chilton -- Matthew for his job, and Will for his therapy sessions. But he was careful to keep himself guarded at all times when he was in those sessions; he hadn't let anything slip so far, though the worry that he would was always in the back of his mind.
How could he not worry about it? Matthew was on his mind constantly, and in his dreams. Will was sure that there wasn't one moment in the day when he didn't think about his lover.
Did Matthew think about him in the same way? Or now that he'd had Will, would he move on to someone else and forget about the intimacy that they had shared?
No, he wouldn't, Will told himself firmly. Matthew wasn't like that.
Matthew wasn't the kind of man who would make love to him and then drop him. He wasn't a butterfly that flitted from one flower to another. He was steadfast.
At least, Will hoped that he was. That was the feeling he had gotten from Matthew, but he could be wrong. He was ready to admit that he made mistakes.
After all, look at the mistake he'd made in thinking that Hannibal was his friend, he told himself sourly. He obviously wasn't a good judge of character; he really shouldn't trust his feelings about anyone, not even Matthew, considering that he'd made such a terrible mistake with Hannibal.
But there was a huge difference between Matthew and Hannibal -- the man who he'd thought was his friend wasn't his lover, and never would be.
Matthew wasn't anything like Hannibal. He was a different kind of person altogether; Will was sure of that. What he felt for Will was going to last.
It wasn't just lust. It had to be more than that.
Yet here he was, still waiting on some kind of sign from Matthew that they would be intimate again, that they could pick up where they had left off.
How long would he have to wait? Will clenched his fists in frustration; there were times when he really wanted to hist something, anything, to release his tension.
But hitting the wall obviously wouldn't do any good -- he would only end up bruising his knuckles, and with his luck, probably break his hand in the process. That wasn't something that he needed to deal with, not while he was in here. He didn't need more pain on top of everything else.
It was painful enough to wait for Matthew every day, and not to know when his lover would touch him again. He hoped it would be soon, because he couldn't take this for much longer.
Would the waiting stretch on and on, or would Matthew give him a sign today? He knew that his lover was watched, so it wasn't easy for him to indicate anything to Will.
He would manage to do it, though, Will told himself. He had to.
Somehow, Matthew would give him some kind of sign -- a note, a nod, a smile, a secret look -- that would give him some clue as to when they would be together again.
And he would be prepared for it, Will thought to himself. Matthew had told him that he should be ready, and he would be. He wouldn't hold anything back when he had the chance to be with Matthew; he would be ready for his lover, ready for anything that Matthew wanted to do.
He was willing to put himself into Matthew's hands, to trust him implicitly. Maybe trusting like that was a fault of his, but he couldn't change who he was.
Maybe that was a part of him that Matthew treasured.
That thought would sustain him as he continued to wait for a sign from Matthew. He would look for that sign any time they were near each other, communicated silently between them.
Matthew would give him that sign, he was certain. He just had to be on the lookout for it, and be ready to do whatever Matthew wanted him to when the sign came.
He was ready, Will told himself. Ready and willing. More than willing.
He just hoped that sign was going to come soon.***
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