Title: Which Road To Take
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham
Fandom: Hannibal
Rating: PG-13
Table: Big Bang Inspirations, tv_universe
Prompt: Signpost in the snowy darkness
Author;s Note: Sequel to "Personal Strength."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
Which way was he supposed to go?
Will paused in front of the signpost, squinting at it. It seemed to be pointing in two directions, and he wasn't sure which one he was supposed to take.
Did one lead to safety, and the other to an uncertain future? That was what the arrows seemed to be telling him; they didn't point to any place that he knew.
Which way should he turn? He started at the signpost, unsure of just what to do. Neither way was clearly marked; there was snow all around him, and he couldn't see far into the distance. He didn't know which arrow led to safety, and which could possibly lead him into danger.
He had never been one to make sure that he was treading on the safest part of the road, had he? He'd always been more than willing to be adventurous.
But this time, he couldn't afford to be that way. This could be a life-or-death situation -- and he didn't want to risk his life. He'd already done that enough times.
How was he supposed to know which route led to safety?
He couldn't know, he told himself. There was no way for him to be sure. All that he could do was try his best to figure out which was the right path for him to take.
Safety and security weren't going to beckon to him. They never had. He'd always been the sort of person who would head directly for the dangerous side of things. It was the darkness, the danger, that always seemed to call to him -- and he always felt compelled to answer that call.
He shouldn't, and he knew it. But it was like a siren, luring him, pulling him forward, daring him to dash himself on the rocks and lie there bleeding out his life.
The thought made Will shudder and close his eyes.
He opened them again almost immediately. There was no sense in closing his eyes to what was around him; it would still be there. It wasn't going to disappear.
Trying to push decisions away wouldn't make them any easier. And trying to avoid danger in his life wasn't something that he was capable of doing.
Why was he always so drawn to the dark side? It had always pulled at him, even when he was a child. It was why he'd always wanted to hide his empathy, why he'd always been so afraid of it. That empathy seemed to show him the dark side of everything, and of everyone around him.
He shouldn't be drawn to that darkness. Everyone had a dark side; he knew that. But he wasn't the kind of person who gravitated towards darkness.
All of his life he'd tried to be one of the good guys; that was what he wanted to be. He didn't want to think that he could give himself over to his dark side, that he would indulge it.
Those horrible visions that he'd been having lately of his own death were just more of that dark side trying to draw him in, beckoning to him and telling him that this was the future in store for him. It was trying to make him take a few steps into that darkness, making him face his own fears.
He didn't need to face them. Not now. He didn't need to know what his future would be, or if his visions had the right of it. He was perfectly content to not know.
Will studied the signpost, catching his lower lip between his teeth. Was this the final crossroads for him? Was it time to make the decision about which way to go?
If it was, then he wasn't ready to face that decision yet.
One way could lead towards the fulfillment of those horrifying visions. He was sure of that. The other way led to safety and security, and that was the road he should take.
The problem was that he didn't have any idea which road would lead him to the safest place. What should he do? Which way should he go? He stood there in the snow, indecisive, starting to shiver from the cold, unable to take a step in either of the directions that he could choose to walk in.
He was starting to breathe faster, his heart racing in his chest. Panic was welling up inside him, a panic that he couldn't hold back, a feeling of inevitability --
With a sharp cry, Will jerked awake, staring up at the ceiling.
He wasn't outside in the snow, standing a signpost that could be pointing him in a fatal direction. He was in his own bed, safe and sound, awaking from a dream.
A dream? He ran his hand over his face, slowly sitting up in bed and kicking the covers back. More like a nightmare, one that he was sure he would have again.
He wasn't so sure that it had just been a dream; somehow, what he'd seen seemed to have a deeper meaning than most people would think to look for. There were choices facing him right now; the signpost had seemed to point him in two different directions, two major choices that he could make.
Will lay back down slowly, pulling the covers up around him; he had started to shiver, and he didn't want to think about the possible choices that were facing him.
He knew what they were. One would lead him down a darker road than he was used to traveling, and the other would keep him safe -- well, more or less.
He wasn't ready to make that choice. Not yet.
Maybe he never would be, he told himself ruefully, closing his eyes. And he didn't have to think about it right now. He just needed to try and get some rest.
Would this choice keep being presented to him? God, he hoped not, he told himself as he rolled over and punched his pillow, trying find a comfortable place. He didn't want to have those choices staring him in the face all the time, trying to force him to make a decision. He needed time. A lot more time.
There was too much on his mind for sleep. Reluctantly, Will kicked the covers off again and got to his feet, reaching for his robe. He should take a shower, start the day early.
Maybe then his head would be clearer, and he could think more rationally.
***
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