Main NCSI Slash page | The new stories | Tony/Gibbs stories | Other pairings stories | Het stories | Gen NCIS stories
Title: Dealing With Change
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Jimmy Palmer/Tim McGee
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 07, Change
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Jimmy Palmer or Tim McGee, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Why did everything have to change?
Jimmy sighed as he looked down into his coffee cup, studying the swirls of liquid as though he could read something there, something that would answer all of his questions and restore his life to the way it had been before he was kidnapped.
Everything in his life was different now. Some of the changes were subtle, but there were there nonetheless, and he didn't like them.
He'd never had an easy time dealing with change, but when it affected his life as much as these changes did, he liked it even less. It felt as though everything had been turned upside down and inside out, and he didn't know how to deal with all of it.
Everyone treated him differently, as if he was made of spun sugar.
Even Tim treated him differently, he thought with a sigh. So much about their relationship had changed, and even though he understood why, he hated the fact.
Tim treated him as though he was afraid to touch him, as if he thought that the slightest gesture could send Jimmy running away from him, or hurt him. He hated the fact that there was a wall between them now, a wall that he didn't know how to scale.
How was he going to tear that wall down? Could he even do it? That was the worst change of all -- feeling so unsure of his relationship with the man he loved.
Everything was just so .... different. He knew that Tim was desperately trying to pretend that it wasn't, trying to keep everything normal.
He wanted it all to go back to the way it had been. He wanted their relationship to start over again, right from those last few seconds before everything had changed so drastically, when they'd been standing out in the hallway nearly on top of each other.
He wanted that back. He wanted that passion, that lust for each other. He wanted the easy camaraderie that he and Tim had always shared.
Jimmy was terrified that they'd never have it again.
And if they didn't, what then? he thought, panic rising within him. What if he and Tim could never get back what they had lost?
What if they could never recapture the essence of their relationship? What if everything had changed so much that they would start to grow apart, becoming strangers to each other? What if this had ruined them forever, and eventually tore them apart?
He couldn't bear that. He didn't know what he could do if that happened; Tim was the best thing in his life, the one thing he couldn't deal with losing.
That was one change he couldn't allow to happen.***