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Title: Going Home
By: nancy
Pairing: Abby/Kate
Series: 1) Opening Night, 2) Next Morning, 3) Going Out
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: kink, bondage, D/s, graphic f/f sex
Summary: Abby takes her baby girl home.

***

Kate eyed Tony from under her lashes, nominally working at her computer, vacillating between dragging him into a corner to interrogate, and slinking home with her tail between her legs as she had for the last four days. They hadn't even been busy with a case the last few days, catching up on paperwork and taking a day to practice on the weapons' course. Kate had made a point to leave her PDA behind that day, not wanting to lose another one to her marksmanship, even though it had improved under Gibbs' tutelage.

Kate had wondered if discovering that propensity for submitting would mean that she wouldn't be able to stand up to Gibbs and the rest of the team, but absolutely nothing had changed Monday except that she was still sore and felt a pleasant burn when she sat down. She had found plenty of reasons to pick at Tony, just as he had found plenty to torment McGee and they had ganged up on the Probie whenever they could. Tony was still the only one who could face down a pissed off Gibbs with any hope of coming out alive, which was just as it had been on Friday before she'd left work to enter Wonderland.

She still woke early, took a jog and got coffee before going in to work. She still gave as good as she got when it came to working in a man's world. She managed to fight Tony to a stand-still in the ring when they all stayed after work on Tuesday, with Gibbs making observations to McGee outside the ring. When he had walked her to her car, as one of them always did at night despite her being able to take care of herself, Kate had almost asked to talk, but had chickened out.

And now, at three minutes to five on Thursday, Kate knew she had two and a half minutes to decide whether she would ask Tony to talk. She missed Abby, even though they saw each other every day. It was exactly the same as it always had been, but Kate found herself wanting more. It confused the hell out of her, wanting to submit to anything Abby wanted her to do and still want her job to stay the way it was.

Tony stood to leave with a wave and said expansively, "Good night, fellow worker bees, it's time for this bee to fly off and pollinate."

Gibbs smacked him in the head as he walked by, prompting a grimace from Tony but the younger man merely made a face at Gibbs' back as he picked up his backpack.

"I saw that, DiNozzo."

Tony winced and managed to almost sound innocent as he asked, "Saw what, Boss?"

"Don't even try it, DiNozzo."

Kate hid a grin at the look Tony flashed her way and stood up, interjecting, "I'll walk you out, Tony. Looks like you might need protection."

Tony gave her a grateful look. "Thanks, Kate. Ready when you are."

Grabbing her purse and jacket, Kate met him halfway and was glad to find the elevator empty. It gave her the courage to ask, "You mind if we get something to eat?"

"Sure," Tony agreed easily.

Kate frowned at him. "Really? No questions? No hard time? No attitude or innuendos?"

"Not if you want to talk about what I think you want to talk about."

To that, Kate could only nod as she met those knowing hazel eyes.

A sympathetic expression surfaced and Tony smiled down at her as he rubbed her shoulder just as the doors opened on McGee. For a moment, none of them moved, then McGee stammered, "I-I-I just forgot something. Back at my desk. I'll take the stairs."

He hurried away and Kate started chuckling at the deer-in-headlights look that had been on his face. Tony joined her a few seconds later and they left the elevator.

"So, how's Billy's down on Wilcox?" Tony suggested.

Kate frowned and answered, "I don't know that one."

"Quiet little out of the way place that has a diverse clientele."

The stress on 'diverse' told Kate just what kind of people went there and she nodded. If anyone was going to see her talking to Tony outside of work, or accidentally overheard part of their conversation, at least it would be someone who couldn't talk without revealing their own location at the time as well.

"It's by that used bookstore, you know, the one Ducky likes so much?" Tony went on.

"Yeah, okay. I know where you're talking now," Kate agreed. "Where he got that book on Wales?"

Tony grinned. "The genealogy one he wouldn't shut up about for days, yeah."

"Okay. I'll see you there."

"And if I don't see you there, that's okay, too, Kate."

The understanding in his gaze was enough to know that she'd made the right decision. She already trusted her life to him, why not her secrets? At least one of the bigger ones. Gripping his arm, she replied, "I'll be there. Thanks, Tony."

"Any time, Kate."

They parted ways and Kate got into her car, nerves jangling in anticipation of what she might find out from Tony. What she would reveal to him. How he would react. What he already knew. Abby had to have told him something, because he hadn't been the least bit surprised that she'd wanted to talk and had known exactly what the topic would be. Starting the car, Kate pulled out of her parking spot and left the parking lot, wondering if she should pick up some antacids on the way.

It was going to be a long night.

* * * *

Jethro knew something was wrong by Abby's choice of music; it was quiet and mournful, soothing in a depressing kind of way, with guitar and piano mingling in a beautiful fashion with a lone, longing female voice. Knowing that she was already on edge, he didn't surprise her, instead announcing his presence with, "You all right, Abs?"

She jumped anyhow, giving him a mock glare before smiling. "Fine, Gibbs. Why, what's up?"

"I can hear myself think, for one thing," he replied, echoing the smile.

Shrugging, Abby said, "Just feeling a little mellow is all."

"Mellow?"

"Yeah. You don't like it?"

"Oh no, I love it. I was thinking that 'depressing as hell' might be a better description, though."

Abby shrugged again. "Something I can do for you?"

Eyeing her for a long moment, Jethro finally said, "You can stop acting like a wannabe and take responsibility for what you started."

"Excuse me?" Abby demanded, incredulous.

Jethro walked up close to her and grasped her shoulders tight before repeating, "Take responsibility, Abigail. You started this thing between you and Kate and now you either have to finish it, or bring it to the next level. Don't leave her twisting in the wind the way you have because she's all turned around. And that, my girl, is your fault."

Shaking her head, Abby didn't even try to get free of him as she protested, "She needs space to figure out what she wants, Gibbs! I can't decide something this important for her."

"Yes, you can. And you should," he countered sharply. "If you don't, someone else will and frankly, I don't trust anyone else to do it right. Come to think of it, I'm not all that sure about you right now, but I'm willing to consider this a slip in judgment."

Stung, she snapped, "Thanks a lot!"

He squeezed tighter and replied evenly, "You did this. Fix it. Tell her to move her shit into your apartment until you find a bigger place together. Tell her that she's yours alone, and will be for the rest of her life. Tell her, Abs, don't ask her."

"But..."

"No buts. It's the only thing that's going to put her at ease. The only thing that will give her compass a magnetic north again. You've messed her up inside and you need to give her what she needs. Control. Order. Someone to answer to. Love."

A little sullen, Abby snarked, "Like you do Tony?"

"No. I provide discipline and rules, as well as love and the insane amount of attention that he never got as a kid," Jethro informed her. He paused, then questioned, "What's got you so turned around about this, Abby? It's really very simple from where I stand. You need someone to look after and she needs someone to break through those walls and give her the care that she's been lacking for at least since I've known her. Probably a lot longer than that."

Abby sighed and wailed, "I know, Gibbs, and I just want to wrap her up and tell her she's never going to be alone again, but I just, I don't operate like you do."

"Is Tony unhappy?"

Looking startled, Abby exclaimed, "Of course not! He's the happiest I've ever seen him."

"Exactly. Just like Kate will be, once you tell her what her next move is," Jethro stated.

Groaning, Abby tilted forward and Jethro accepted the movement, pulling her into a hug and holding her tight. She was so capable and strong-willed that he sometimes forgot how young and unsure she could be. Kissing her temple, he said, "You and Kate are made for each other. Trust your instincts, because they won't steer you wrong, Abs."

"You trust my gut, huh?" Abby asked, a thread of humor in the words muffled into his shoulder.

He grinned and swatted her lightly on the ass before confirming, "With my life, Abs. Now go get your girl."

The grateful look in her eyes was almost enough to make him wish things had turned out differently between them, so long ago. But no. Then he wouldn't be there for Tony and she wouldn't be there for Kate. Things were as they should be.

Or would be, once Abby got off her ass and reeled Kate in.

* * * *

Billy's turned out to be a small, tavern styled pub with big booths and dimmed lighting. Perfect for sharing confidences over a beer and totally not Tony's kind of place. At least not in Kate's view of him. She grinned at him over the table and guessed, "Gibbs brought you here."

Chuckling, Tony answered, "It shows, huh?"

"Just a little," Kate agreed, matching his grin.

The waitress, a college aged girl, with more tattoos than Abby, arrived and set down menus in front of them, greeting, "Hey. What can I get you to drink?"

"White wine, please."

"Just some decaf, thanks."

Kate looked at him in surprise as the woman walked away. "You don't want anything to drink?"

"Gibbs doesn't let me have caffeine after four in the afternoon, or let me drink alcohol without him around," Tony told her calmly.

Rooted to the spot in shock, though really, she'd have known that was what was going on if she'd allowed herself to think about it, Kate didn't say anything. The waitress arrived with their drinks before she fully recovered, and Kate took a big gulp of the wine to sooth her rattled nerves.

Chuckling, Tony said, "It figures I finally make you speechless and I can't tell anyone but Gibbs, who won't really appreciate it."

Kate shook off the shock and apologized hastily, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to react like that, it's just...you and Gibbs? God, Tony, I never would've suspected."

"Yeah sure you did," he countered, winking. "I know you did. Saw a few looks you gave us now and again. You just didn't really want to think about it."

Which was true. Sighing, Kate took another drink from her glass, but a much more respectable one, and asked, "How do you do it? I mean, what's it like?"

"You mean, does he tell me what to do down to when I use the bathroom?"

"Well, yes."

Tony grinned and answered, "He's anal, but not that anal, Kate. I have chores, I have times to do them, punishments if they don't get done, rules like you wouldn't believe and other punishments if they get broken. I have 'quiet time,' if you can believe that. Drives me crazy, but he's right. I need it."

Trying to figure it out, she said, "It sounds an awful lot like living with your parents only, you know, not."

Eyes sparkling, Tony replied, "I'll have to tell him that one, he'll get a kick out of it."

"No! Don't!" Kate exclaimed, horrified that Gibbs might hear any of this.

Sobering fast, Tony took her hand and promised, "I was just joking, Kate, I won't breathe a word of this to anyone. Not Gibbs, and definitely not Abby."

Kate sagged in relief and opened her mouth to thank him but the waitress returned.

She eyed their hands a moment and flashed Tony a speculative look before questioning, "Does Gibbs know where you are and who you're with?"

"Yep. Called him on the way over," Tony replied cheerfully. He winked at Kate and introduced, "This is my other keeper, Tara. Tara, this is Kate. She's Abby's."

Tara frowned, then placed the name with, "Goth chic with nice tats, right?"

"That's her. Kate's a little new to all of this, so I'm offering some support," Tony explained, patting Kate's hand before releasing it.

"Ah. Don't forget to tell her about Group. Now, what can I get you for supper?"

Knowing that she wasn't hungry enough to warrant a real meal, Kate ordered a salad. Tony, on the other hand, ordered a cheeseburger with fries, rubbing his hands together gleefully as he said, "Gibbs lets me order whatever I want when I come here because he knows the cook and owner. He doesn't have to worry about me coming down with a serious case of the sh...ah...intestinal distress."

Kate snorted at the amendment and shook her head. "What group was she talking about?"

"Oh! Right. That's a group of subs and slaves who get together, with permission of course, to vent a spleen about every little thing that goes wrong. And believe me. When you get a bunch of us together, it can last all night long. Fortunately, Tara's there to keep order. She's a psyche major at Georgetown, by the way. She's getting a doctorate in the spring."

Surprised, Kate said, "But she doesn't look old enough for that!"

"Child prodigy. Anyhow, it's a really great group and you should come one night, check it out."

"Wait, you said subs and slaves? What's, um, the difference?" Kate questioned, suspecting that she knew the answer.

"Submissive versus slave, the eternal dilemma," Tony replied dryly. "In a nutshell, those who can walk away are submissives and those who can't, are slaves."

Even knowing that she was prying, Kate asked hesitantly, "And you're...?"

A soft smile surface, a little shy, and Tony admitted, "I'm Gibbs' slave. I couldn't leave even if I wanted to, which I don't. He owns me, body, heart, and soul."

"But, Tony, he can't make you stay," Kate said insistently.

Eyebrows rising, Tony pointed out dryly, "He was in black ops, Kate, he can pretty much make me do whatever the hell he wants."

"Then what's the difference between you and an abused wife or husband?" Kate exclaimed, finishing off the wine. It did nothing to calm the racing of her heart and mildly sick clench to her stomach.

Tony took a moment, clearly thinking over his answer carefully before he said, "The difference is that I trust Gibbs not to hurt me. He would never do anything that put me at risk for permanent harm in our personal lives. He loves me and will do everything in his power to protect me and make sure I get what I need, which includes getting my ass beaten raw on more occasions than I care to admit. I need him, Kate. I need the discipline and rules to keep me from getting myself killed."

Still troubled, Kate stared down at the table cloth and plucked at it with her fingers. Tara arrived and silently left another glass of wine for her, along with a basket of breadsticks. Taking the distraction gratefully, Kate nibbled on a breadstick, digesting Tony's words along with the wine that churned in her stomach.

"Look, it's different for everyone," Tony finally said. "You're probably not a slave. You probably just like the sex games and power dynamics of submitting to someone who's always been your equal before. There are a lot of people who fall into that category, most actually, about ninety-five percent. It's fairly rare that people want to, or are built to be, a true slave."

But the assurances rang hollow, because Kate was aching for Abby to be like she was Friday and Saturday. She wanted Lady Abby back so bad that her neck and back were stiff and painful with tension. She kept waiting to hear that sharp voice bark out, 'little girl,' or even the hated, 'Katie,' followed by an order of some kind. It didn't matter that she was fully capable of making her own decisions. Didn't matter that she could shoot better than 95% of the men she worked with. Didn't matter that she was strong and independent and able to do whatever she wanted, when she wanted to do it. Her life was empty the way it was now, in so many more ways than she'd ever realized. She loved Abby, but needed and loved Lady Abby even more.

Shock slammed into her at that insight and Kate discovered that she suddenly couldn't breathe. Meeting Tony's concerned gaze, Kate tried to tell him what was wrong, but couldn't get enough air. Hands fluttering uselessly in front of her, Kate struggled to calm down, but could hardly think over the thudding of her heart in her chest.

Tony called, "Tara! Panic bag!" and hurried around to sit beside her. Strong arms slid around her waist and Tony murmured, "Easy, Kate, take it easy now, everything's going to be okay. Calm down and breathe for me, okay, bambina?"

A paper bag was held up to her face, focusing her like Tony's words did, slowly. There wasn't the instantaneous reaction to whatever Abby commanded her to do and she wondered vaguely if she'd been ruined for response to orders from anyone else. The grayness to her vision finally receded and Kate wished that the floor would open up and swallow her, seeing the crowd that had gathered to check on her. There were only sympathetic and concerned faces, but she hated being the center of attention, especially for something as embarrassing as a panic attack.

Once she was breathing normally again, Tony pulled the bag down and asked, "Back with us?"

Kate nodded, flushing miserably. "Yes. Could you kill me now, please?"

Chuckling in relief, Tony waved at everyone else and announced, "Show's over, folks, she's going to be fine."

When the crowd had dispersed and Kate had managed to slowly drink the glass of water thoughtfully provided by Tara, Tony put his arm over her shoulder and tucked her in against him. She tried to resist, but he just hushed her and really, it felt good to relax against a warm body again. Sighing deeply, she finally said, "Thanks, Tony, for everything."

"No problem. You think you can tell me what brought all that on?" he questioned.

Biting her lip, Kate explained softly, "Just came to a realization is all."

"Better to serve in heaven, than reign in hell?" Tony murmured, just as soft.

Startled that he understood it so perfectly, Kate raised her eyes to his and found a knowing, somewhat rueful expression in place.

He kissed the top of her head, gave her a brief squeeze, and moved back to his side of the table. Pouring catsup on his fries, which had to be cold by then, he said, "I put my fist through the wall when I finally admitted that to myself."

"When was that?" Kate asked curiously. She felt drained, but better, lighter, now that she'd admitted that unsettling truth to herself.

Shaking his head, Tony reminded, "Remember that case where that psycho preacher was marrying the women and transforming them into the perfect wife?"

Kate nodded.

"Well, I was seriously out of control then, really riding the edge, and then Gibbs just announced that he was taking me home."

Kate's eyes widened.

"Yeah, no kidding," Tony agreed, grinning fondly. "There followed the most topsy-turvy weekend in my entire sexual experience, and believe me, it's been a vast experience."

"I believe you," Kate replied honestly.

He chuckled. "Thanks, I think. Anyhow. By Monday I was whipped, literally, into shape and ready to throw myself on a puddle so that Gibbs wouldn't have to get his shoes dirty. It's been like that ever since."

"So, wow. Six months now?"

"Little over."

"And, what, you see this as lasting...?"

"Forever."

The simple, heartfelt word sent an ache of emptiness through Kate and she busied herself with fixing her salad. They were quiet then, eating and sharing simple, friendly looks now and again. Kate was on her third wine when conversation started again, this time limited to safer topics like McGee almost getting a backbone and when Gerald would finally be coming back to work. When she was almost done with the wine, some sense of balance had returned and Kate was able to giggle and joke with Tony as he flirted shamelessly and teased her.

Tony's cell rang and he pulled it out, still chuckling. His smile softened as he looked at the ID and Kate instantly knew that it was Gibbs on the other end.

"Yes, Master?" Tony greeted, voice filled with his smile. "No, we're still here. Honest, you want to talk to Tara? Oh. Okay. No, I was going to drive her home first. No, I haven't seen...Okay. I'll see you in about an hour then."

Kate sighed regretfully as Tony hung up and guessed, "Time to get home?"

"Yep. Already missed curfew," Tony confirmed ruefully, pulling out his wallet.

Hoping she hadn't caused any problems, Kate asked, "Are you in trouble? Will you be punished?"

He waved it off and said, "All for the cause, Kate, all for the cause. Gibbs understands."

Which wasn't the same as him saying that there wouldn't be any punishment when he got home. "I'm sorry, Tony, I didn't mean to get you in trouble. Maybe Gibbs could punish me instead? I'm the one who kept you out so late."

"Oh don't worry, little girl, you're going to have your own set of punishment to deal with."

Kate jumped a mile at Abby's sharp statement, head whipping to the side to find the other woman standing not a foot away. Cursing her inebriated state, which was the only thing that would have allowed anyone to sneak up on her, Kate just gaped at Abby without moving.

Black eyebrows arching, Abby questioned, "Is that how you greet me, Katie?"

Swallowing nervously at the mild words, Kate was about to slink out of the booth and drop to her knees when she remembered that they weren't anything to each other. That Abby had been the one to limit their activities to just the previous weekend. Sullen, she replied, "It is if that's how I feel like greeting you."

Abby's hand snapped out to grab Kate painfully by the hair and yank her head back. Leaning in, she hissed, "You're really going to regret that, little girl, I promise you. You and I are going home to settle this in a way that I promise you're not going to enjoy."

The alcohol seemed to be burning away with every word, Kate's world getting clearer and more in focus. It didn't take away the hurt at being so quickly abandoned, though, so she whispered honestly, "Don't do this if you don't mean it. I won't survive it."

Abby kissed her, slow and gentle, before pulling back to state simply, "I mean it, baby girl. You're mine, Special Agent Caitlin Todd, and I'm not ever letting you go again."

Something inside settled into place and Kate smiled up at Abby, answering softly, "Yes, Lady Abby."

Abby released her, the hard expression returning, and stepped back, ordering, "Thank Tony for being such a good friend and apologize for getting him into trouble."

Kate got unsteadily to her feet, turning towards Tony to say, "Thank you so much, Tony, for dinner and listening and helping me not pass out earlier. I'm very, very sorry for getting you into trouble for staying out past curfew."

Grinning, Tony replied almost flippantly, "It was my pleasure, believe me. I'll see you in work tomorrow."

"No you won't. Kate's called in sick for tomorrow," Abby informed him coolly. "I've already cleared it with Gibbs. You get your ass home, boy, and drive safely or Gibbs will hear about that little display of attitude."

Eyes lowering, Tony nodded and respectfully said, "Yes, Mistress. My apologies for being so forward. Good night."

Abby got Kate's attention with a finger snap and a long finger pointed at the floor. Without even questioning why it felt so right, beyond that finally, Kate sank to her knees on the hard wooden floor. An elegant hand cupped her chin, lifting it so that their eyes met, and Abby informed her, "You're not going to be able to sit tomorrow and you will thank me for every stripe across your ass. The sooner you realize that you're all mine, the faster your butt will heal. Up. Let's go home."

Scrambling to her feet, Kate followed Abby out of the restaurant. Her life had never made less sense than right then, and yet, she'd never been happier. And she knew it wasn't the alcohol. It was the force of nature striding in front of Kate to her car, the woman who was going to give Kate exactly what she needed, wanted, and maybe even deserved...love and someone to take care of her.

***