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Title: Jumping Off The Edge
By: lil-jei
Pairing: Tony/Tim
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 2000+
Prompt: Never say sorry
Kink: make-up sex
Prompter: kaylashay81
Author Notes: So the characters, kink, and sentence prompt aren't mine.
And I do apologize for the mostly angst little sex fic that came about...it just all spiraled out of my control.

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PART 1~Aftermath

Tim had to catch his breath. Leaning over, he began to shake. He had never seen someone so broken, someone so lost in the world that they needed guidance, that they needed him. He had never expected this, this carnality when he had gotten involved. Now he doesn't even know what he would choose, who he would choose, himself or his lover? He had always been solitary, few friends, but since working at NCIS, with Jethro "second B is for bastard" Gibbs, Tony, Katie, and later Ziva he had changed. He had learned a lot about himself and others. He had faced his fears and had come out a better person.

He owed a lot of that to the man currently passed out in the bedroom. Tony had first teased him and tormented him for fun. Tim wasn't delusional; it had taken Katie dying for them to get close, to become fuck buddies at first, and now years later life partners.

He had never gotten the courage up to ask Tony about the scars that marred his beautiful body. He beheld Tony's beauty on a near constant basis, not even seeing the beauty within the man leave when worse came to worse. But today it was all different, everything had changed. Their relationship had survived Kate's death, Gibbs amnesia and subsequent leaving, and now Jenny's death. Tony had lost it though when they came back from the office. After Vance's bombshell, the whole team had felt lost but he could tell looking at his lover Tony had felt it the most. He blamed himself for the loss of Jenny and now the team to NCIS. They had come to the apartment and Tim had felt at a loss. Having no clue what to do, he had muttered out that he was going out for food. He had backed out the door with the intentions of being back in maybe half hour. And in those 30 minutes, it seemed as if the rug had been ripped from underneath them.

He had come back to a near silent apartment and had felt just a tingle in his gut. He had heard the shower and went to let Tony know he had brought Chinese back. But when he had opened the door he about had a heart attack. He saw Tony lying on the shower floor; blood running down his length, running clear by what was obviously scalding water. He didn't know it at that moment what had happened. All he knew was this need to get to Tony. He had bent over, reaching to the knobs he had switched them off. And he had to bite off his need to vomit when he gently reached under Tony and saw the damage. It wasn't just a bump on the head it was a number of massive gashes running along both of his arms and his chest. He was losing blood fast and Tim had almost lost it at that point. He had slapped Tony in the face repeatedly, finally getting him to wake. He had pulled Tony out of the stall, propping him up, he had gotten a pile of towels, and had done his best to staunch the blood.

It had been touch and go but nearly an hour or two later the blood had slowed to nothing and Tony had lost consciousness once more. Tim had finally been able to breath. He had slipped to the floor; almost fainting from the emotional exertion he had been through. It was hours later that Tony had finally woken. Lying on the bed Tony had started panicking, hearing this had forced Tim to come awake.

He hadn't known what to say to Tony before that moment, he had seen the scars before and if he was honest with himself had known the truth behind them. But looking into Tony's frightened eyes that could barely focus. He had known at that point what to do, he reached up to Tony's face and ran his fingers across his lips and his cheekbones and had simply said, "I love you no matter what and it wasn't your fault I understand." If he had been honest, he hadn't really expected a response but when Tony in a tear clogged voice quietly murmured that "yes, it was his fault," Tim had felt his throat close up and then his heart broke as he heard Tony faintly say, "I'm sorry." Never in all their years had Tony looked and sounded this defeated, not even the plague and Katie's death had broken him this much.

All Tim could say was "Never say sorry Tony, Jenny was at fault not you." And Tim had known he had to address the cuts, and had ran his fingers along the makeshift bandages and looking into Tony's eyes had quietly said, "I knew before this and it doesn't stop me from loving you but damn it Tony, I was only gone for 30 mins, 30 fucking minutes, why do this?" And when Tony tried to hide his eyes, Tim had gotten angry for a second there and had been just about to get up and rage at the stupid idiot when he had to strain to hear... "I don't know."

PART 2~Reality Check

It had been two days and decisions needed to be made. The Reagen had been postponed due to repairs so Tony had gotten a few days relief. Tim of course was staying at NCIS with Abby and Ducky that had never been the question. Ziva had left the very night of the announcement. Abby had called last night to tell them the news. Gibbs and Ducky had been by to talk. But still no decisions had been tossed about. Tony had one more day before he was meant to be on the Reagan and for the life of him Tim knew Tony wouldn't be on that damn boat. He had gambled on his NCIS family and neither he nor Tony had any intentions of letting him leave.

He had already gotten offers, word had spread through the community that one of the best federal agents was now free for the taking. Personally, he had hopes on Tony taking Fornell's offer. He would be on par with Sacks and still be able to torment the bad guys. Just not with Gibbs and the NCIS team. He knew that's what hurt Tony the most. Tony had been depressed before Vance wrecked their world and after that incident in the shower, he was even more so. Not even knowing that he had agencies gunning for him and him alone was enough. He had been down and out ever since waking up in Tim's arms 3 nights ago. But it had to stop; neither of them could keep this up. Reality was calling and frankly, Tim had already been skating on thin ice before taking time off to care for his lover.

Tim groaned to himself as he glanced into the surface of the soon to be boiling water. The water was like his and Tony's life right now but hopefully that would soon be over. A career decision needed to be made and then a therapist's appointment to be kept and that would hopefully wrap things up a bit. But Tim still had to face his grumpy lover, he had no idea if their regular way of working things out would help or would hinder them at this point. Throwing sex into things might be enough to reassure Tony of his desirability but it might hurt him in the long emotional run. Clenching the stovetop he tried to bring a balance to himself, breathing shallowly, he smiled thinly.

They would see after dinner what they could do to improve the mood. Now, though, Tim was making Tony some of his favorite comfort food, simple spaghetti and garlic bread with a pint of pistachio ice cream for dessert. Then he would offer Tony a massage and some "them" time and they'd take things from there. 

PART 3~Making up isn't that hard to do...

They had just finished eating and it was obvious to Tim that Tony was still at a loss. Tim snorted to himself as he dried the dishes. Looking over at Tony he begins to feel a little determined. Putting down the rag Tim crosses over to Tony's back and in one quick move has him grasped around the waist. He grounds his ever present hard on into Tony's backside. Pressing his fingers into Tony's pecks, he sighs. Tony doesn't struggle, doesn't move, he's just there. That does it Tim thinks to himself.

He spins Tony around with a snarl; putting his arms on either side of his reluctant lover, he thrusts a thigh between the Italian's legs. This wasn't about love or anger to Tim, what he wanted was to make it up to his lover. He wanted the man to feel better about everything. Even though Tim wasn't truly responsible, he still felt it. Grinning he pushes into Tony, forcing the man to step backwards leaning onto the counter. He knew Tony loved it when he got aggressive, when he pushed the man's boundaries, he knew this got Tony hot and bothered and he'd be damned if it didn't turn him on too.

Grabbing onto the olive oil left over from dinner in one hand and onto Tony's belt in the other he smirks. Looking into Tony's eyes, he leans in and gives him a quick kiss on the lips. Smiling he says, "I love you" and then just as quickly gets Tony's belt and jeans undone. Ripping his boxers down he quickly asks Tony to choose, "Face to face with your cute little butt on the counter or do you want me to take you doggie style and let your cock grind into the counter begging me for release?" He stops for a minute and catching his breath he waits for a decision. Tony meets his eyes briefly and with a grin says "Your choice cowboy." Tim has to smirk at that and mutters into Tony's hair "Oh boy I'm gonna ride that ass of yours now." In a blur, he grips Tony's hips and spins him back around. With a grunt, Tony leans up on the counter and grips it silently as Tim's begins to thrust his fingers in and out of his tight ass. Tim loved moments like this, when he got to see the real Tony. It was at these moments that he saw the sensual lover who just let everything go, let his cares fade away, and best of all let Tim take care of him.

Gripping his cock in his left hand Tim continues to rub the olive oil around Tony's hole with his right. His cock was throbbing within the tight hold of his fist. But damn it Tony was hot like this. He hears Tony start to beg, his man was such a cockslut when he finally let loose. He feels Tony's begin to finally welcome his four fingers and knows his partner was ready. Pulling his hand away from Tony's ass with a groan he pushes at Tony's back. Wanting his lover at the perfect height, he forces Tony further down onto the counter. Now Tony was getting loud, yelling repeatedly "Fuck me." Tim takes his cock and gently pushes the head into the crinkled and slick hole and finally gets a grip on Tony's hips and slams in. In and out, in and out, over and over, all Tim feels is a desperate need to prove to Tony that he still loved him, scars and all.

He knew going into Tony that it would be a quick. Both of them had been on such a ride this week that their hormones would be just as out of control as their emotions. Barely minutes after sliding his way into Tony's tight heat, he finally loses it. He does a few quick bursts and finally lets go. As soon as he's done coming he flips Tony around and slams down onto his knees and with one quick gulp deep throats Tony's dripping cock. He barely has time to swallow around the man's dick when he feels the salty liquid hit his tongue. He downs all that Tony has to offer him, with a breath pulls himself off, and looks up catching his breath as he catches Tony's eyes. With a gentle smile aimed up at his lover he pats Tony's knee and slowly says swallowing around the excess spit and gets out "I will love you no matter what you decide."

With that declaration, Tim's gets to his hands and knees and then finally stands. And is not quite surprised when two arms grab onto him and squeeze. He feels Tony begin to sob against his chest. He murmurs more love to Tony petting his back, trying to calm them both down. Kissing the sweat soaked spikes that still remain in Tony's hair he catches his breath and has to really lean in to hear Tony when he says "I'm sorry Tim, I've been such a child, I really wasn't thinking, I never do when it comes to my emotions. I've lost so much and to face losing the only family I've ever truly loved was so painful, it felt like I was gonna die this time, it all hurt so much, I gave no thought to getting a razor and ending it. It was never about you, I didn't even think about us and I am so sorry, when I woke up to you saying you loved me I wanted to die all over again, to think I'd almost lost you because of something I did and not that bastard Vance hurt even more. I can't tell you that I'll stop wanting the pain but I can tell you that it had been before you that I used the knife. It had been years and for those few minutes you were gone the blade was all I wanted, it's always been a fallback, when no one else was there for me it was. "

Coming to a halt Tony clutches at Tim again, Tim has to breath for a moment and to tries to think of something profound and important to say but all that comes out is "You have me now, you always will, you also have your family and friends and even WHEN you take Fornell's offer you'll have that."

He feels Tony smile into his chest and has to let out another breath when Tony looks up and gives him a shy kiss. They look at each other and smile knowing that while some things weren't over many other things had finally been solved. It all proved Tim right when he thought back to his predictions for Tony and that freaking boat, no way no how had that ever been in the cards he thinks to himself with a sigh.

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