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Title: Lessons Learned
By: nancy
Pairing: gen
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: for Twilight
Author's note: written for the NCIS ficathon.
Quote Inspiration: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
Summary: McGee ponders life as he knew it.

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One thing I learned fast working for Gibbs was that asking 'how high' when he demanded you jump, was not the best way to get his respect. Unfortunately, knowing that didn't stop me from jumping anyhow, not in the beginning. I couldn't help it. Gibbs is not a person to whom you say 'no,' unless you've got the weaponry to back it up. Kate's weaponry was working to protect the President. Tony's was being a cop for six years and at NCIS for two by the time I came around. Abby's was, well, being Abby. And Ducky didn't need weaponry because he was old enough to be even Gibbs' grandfather.

What did I have? A degree from MIT and no practical experience whatsoever.

I can admit, now, that I felt like an incompetent, bumbling idiot when I first got accepted onto Gibbs' team. I was the newbie, the probie without even a capital P, to be picked on and given the grunt work by everyone above me. Which was, of course, everyone. I jumped whenever any of them barked at me, and I worked all hours that I didn't have to. I wanted to earn their respect. I wanted to be trusted to watch their backs.

It wasn't enough that I knew more about technology in my little finger than the rest of them put together, except for Abby. It didn't matter that my IQ was higher than everyone else's. Nothing mattered because I was a liability. I could get them hurt or killed because of a wrong move or saying something to give away whatever it was we were working on to the bad guys.

But I stuck with it because there was no way that I would allow myself to fail. Tony played the most juvenile practical jokes possible. Kate kicked me in the balls more than once, literally and figuratively. Abby showed me up in front of everyone. Ducky drove me insane with endless trivia. Gibbs scared the crap out of me on a regular basis. Despite all of that, I refused to give up. I couldn't run away with my tail between my legs because I never had before and whatever else I might have been, a quitter wasn't on the list.

The practical jokes grew less over time, as did the low-blows from Kate. Then Tony and I bonded over destroyed cars, of all things, when his was stolen and totaled. Kate and I bonded over Tony's near death from Y Pestis. Abby and I got back together again permanently after Kate's murder at the hands of a terrorist.

Gibbs and I, well, we never did bond at all that I could tell, but he stopped scaring the crap out of me after a while.

I learned the hard way that I could work all hours of the day and still not give everyone what they wanted or needed. I learned that I could talk until I was blue in the face and research until my fingers fell off and it still wouldn't be enough to take down all the bad guys who needed to be put behind bars. I learned that the way to celebrate life was by remembering those who no longer had it, and to honor their memories by being true to my own ideals and goals.

Most importantly, I learned that putting myself first wasn't a crime against nature and that everyone else's demands would still be there if I took five minutes to get myself a cup of coffee.

Even Gibbs.

--- Excerpt from Timothy McGee's foreword from his novel, 'The Original Agent.'

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