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Title: Nightmare's End
By: Tiffany F
Pairing: Tony/Gibbs
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that your recognize and am only playing around.
Warning: rape/non-con, violence
Summary: DiNozzo is out of the sewer and home again but he's acting strange and Gibbs is concerned. What could possibly be wrong? I don't own anything you recognize and am only playing around. I don't own 'em and am only playing.

***

Chapter 1

The first thing he did when he got home was strip and triple bag everything. The sewer had been bad enough but the cell had the nauseating combination of human waste and decay thrown in and Tony didn't think he'd ever get it out of his clothes, let alone off his skin. It was a shame too because he'd really loved those pants, not to mention his belt knife. It had saved his life but it was a leather belt and there was no way to get rid of the smell. As much as it bothered him, he'd just have to buy a new one.

After wrapping his lower body in his least favorite towel, Tony put the garbage bag on his balcony to deal with after a shower. Hot water sounded like a great idea, not to mention soap and shampoo. He just wanted to be clean again. To get rid of the clinging smells of death.
********************

The first thing he noticed was that Tony's door was unlocked. It wasn't like the agent; himself yes, Tony no. Gibbs closed the door and locked it, quickly sweeping the front rooms before putting the pizza box he was carrying on the kitchen counter. He could hear water running and figured Tony was in the shower. Gibbs wasn't sure what was going through his agent's mind but he knew the younger man had to be hungry and wouldn't eat unless someone forced him to; hence the pizza.

"Gibbs." Tony's voice was flat and so different from when he had left NCIS. The younger agent was standing in his hall wearing gray sweats and a defeated look. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes deadened. "How'd you get in?"

"You forgot to lock your door, DiNozzo," Gibbs replied. "There's pizza in the kitchen."

Tony shrugged and made his way into the living room. He flopped down on his sofa with a small sigh and covered his eyes with his arm. Gibbs frowned as he watched his lead agent. His behavior was all wrong and something was obviously bugging him. Unless, of course, the annoying teenager persona was an act that he put on at work and DiNozzo really was depressed most of the time.

"Talk to me, Tony," Gibbs said. He sat down in the chair to the left of the sofa. "What's going on?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why talk to you?" Tony asked. "It's not like you care or anything."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Why not?"

"God damn it, DiNozzo, quit going in circles and tell me what's wrong," Gibbs snapped, leaning forward in his chair. "Because if this is going to turn into a pity party then I'm leaving."

The younger man uncovered his eyes with a bitter laugh and sat up. "Why not, everyone else has," he said. Tony stood up. "I'm going to bed, Gibbs; you can let yourself out."

"You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

Gibbs almost jumped as a door slammed. Something was seriously wrong and he felt a little out of his depth trying to deal with it. He'd been married three times and each of his wives had tried to pull this stunt on him of making him guess what they were thinking when they were upset and he'd never been able to get the answer right and they just got angrier.

One thing stood out in his mind though, Tony was calling him Gibbs and not boss. He only called his boss by his last name when he was unsure of what was going on or how the older man would react. For the most part 'boss' was Gibbs' name while at work and everyone picked up on it after Tony started using it. He'd said that his boss deserved more respect than simply using the last name would give. So if he'd reverted back to calling his boss by his last name did that mean that he didn't respect him any more?

With a sigh Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and hit one of the auto-dials. "Ducky, I need your help."

"Jethro, what's wrong?"

"I'm at Tony's place and he's acting weird. You checked him out once he was out of the sewer, did you see anything odd?"

"No, I didn't," Ducky replied.

"Then what's changed his behavior?" Gibbs asked.

"No, Jethro, I mean I didn't examine him," Ducky said. "Tony insisted he was perfectly fine and wanted to find you and Kate. I was rather tied up with the bodies and our injured marine and must admit I'd forgotten all about Tony until you called. It rather reminds me of the time when you..."

"Ducky," Gibbs sighed. "Let's focus on DiNozzo for a minute. Can you come to his place and check him over? I'm telling you he's not acting right and I want to make sure that he's fit for duty."

The ME chuckled. "Oh very well, Jethro, but I can tell you right now that if Tony says he's fine, he's generally in good health. I've never met anyone who is so in tune with their bodies before. It's quite remarkable."

"Well he's not acting like he's fine, Duck," Gibbs said. "Just get over here as soon as you can."
********************

It took some searching but Gibbs finally managed to find a book that would interest him in Tony's small collection. It was obvious that his agent preferred movies and television to the far more relaxing pastime of reading, but the care shown the small book collection spoke of some old friends.

"Ducky, I'm glad you're here," Gibbs said when he opened the door in response to his friend's knock. "I don't know what to think about all of this and it's kinda scaring me."

"Jethro, did you happen to see the room in which Tony was imprisoned?" Ducky asked, putting his bag down and slipping off his coat.

"Nope, I met up with him in the sewer system," Gibbs said. "But I did see the pictures of the crime scene from a few years ago."

"It rather reminded me of when I toured the concentration camps in Germany and Poland in my youth," Ducky said. "I asked the marine who had been captive with Tony how they had managed to escape and he muttered something about rule nine, which I well know is don't go anywhere without a knife. But I will say Tony showed remarkable foresight to not only be able to release the victim from the wall but to keep him conscious long enough to get him medical attention. He showed real dedication to not only the victim but you as well from what I understand. Now if you would show me where Tony is hiding I'll take a look at him but I think we'll find that he's just tired and stressed from his long ordeal in the sewer."
********************

Tony heard his bedroom door open but didn't react. He thought that Gibbs hadn't taken the hint and was coming back to yell at him some more.

"Well now, Tony, let's take a look at you," Ducky's soft voice startled the young man.

"What are you doing here, Ducky?"

"Jethro called and told me you were behaving in a most peculiar manner and he was concerned for you," Ducky replied, sitting on the edge of the bed. "His exact words were that he wants to be sure you're fit for duty."

"Sure he does," Tony snorted, rolling so his back was to the ME. "That's all he cares about is NCIS. Not his people or what happens to them in the field. We're just like cups of coffee to him; we help keep him going until we're drained and then we're tossed away and he finds someone else."

Ducky frowned. "Tony, tell me what happened to you," he said. "Because this certainly isn't like you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm concerned, lad, and want to make sure you're healthy and not only because I'm concerned about your ability to work on Monday."

Tony snorted. "You know they brought in McGee to help out while I was missing," he said. "I got back to NCIS with Gibbs and Kate and goaded Gibbs into telling me I was irreplaceable and I almost believed him too, but then he walked into the bullpen and told McGee sorry and that I was back."

"Oh my," Ducky said. "My dear Tony, you know how insensitive Jethro can be."

"And I'm sure he's expecting me to just bounce back and be my normal happy, annoying self," Tony said. "But it hurt, Ducky. To hear him say those words like he was tired of having me around. Maybe he should have just left me in the sewer with that woman and she could have taken care of it for him. Then he wouldn't have to deal with the paperwork to fire me."

"Tony, it's infinitely more paperwork if an agent is killed in the field," Ducky said. "And honestly my dear boy, I think you're reading too much into this. You were placed in a bad situation and came through it admirably, I know I'm impressed and the director will be too when he sees the reports. Don't let Jethro get you down or stop you from doing something you love merely because he's too pig-headed to realize how his actions and words can hurt others."

"I don't know if I can, Ducky," Tony admitted. "I've been with Gibbs for over two years, longer than I've stayed with anyone because I love NCIS, but for all of that time all I've gotten from him are smacks on the back of the head, insults, and threats. He tells other people good job, why not me?"

"I seriously doubt that I can speak for Jethro or his motivations," Ducky replied. "But is it possible he believes you don't need to hear the praise because you are already aware that you do a fine job?"

"But would it hurt to tell me that once in a while?" Tony asked. "Without me having to beg for it?"

Ducky sighed. "You rest, young man," he said. "I saw a pizza in your kitchen that should be consumed soon as I know you need sustenance after what occurred these past twenty-four hours. Let me deal with our stubborn friend out there and I promise that he shall not leave this apartment ignorant of your feelings."

"I guess it doesn't matter at this point," Tony muttered. "I've got some money saved up so I can find a new job if I have to."

"I promise you it won't come to that," Ducky said, patting Tony's shoulder. "Do you need something to help you sleep?"

"No, I want to be able to wake up if I have a nightmare," Tony muttered, burrowing down into his pillows. "Thanks, Ducky."

"You're more than welcome."

***

Chapter 2

Ducky shut the bedroom door behind him with a small sigh. He had two very stubborn men in the apartment with him and he knew he had to tread carefully if he was going to be able to get them to listen to each other again. And he was worried about Tony. He'd never seen the young man so quick to give up and it made him wonder if Tony had been hiding from his team for a while. Ducky knew better than anyone how stubborn and nasty Jethro Gibbs could be but it hadn't seemed like he was behaving any differently towards Tony of late than he had in the past. As for Tony he knew the younger man had an ego but he usually managed to keep it hidden while on the job. But usually was the key word and Ducky paused to wonder if Tony had been using that as a shield to keep how he really felt to himself. Did no one care to look under the surface to see what Tony was really like? Ducky sighed; there was only one way to find out.

Gibbs was standing at the window looking out but not really seeing what was in front of him. He was concerned about the sudden change in attitude the younger agent seemed to be experiencing. He'd never seen Tony so upset before and it actually disturbed him a little. Tony had more or less asked for the assignment and Gibbs couldn't deny that Tony was good at undercover work. It was a little like playing pretend and Tony was so childlike most of the time that he fell into the role well.

"You did not just do that to me!" Gibbs exclaimed, smoothing his hair back down.

"Jethro, after the stunt you pulled today you deserve more than a smack on the back of the head," Ducky said, moving to stand next to his friend.

"What are you talking about?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm referring to placing young McGee at Tony's desk so he'd be there when Tony returned to NCIS," Ducky said. "Have you so little feeling for the agents under your command that you not only make them feel like you don't want them around, you have to reinforce it physically as well?"

"Duck, it was just a joke," Gibbs said, moving to sit on the sofa Tony had so recently vacated. "McGee was there helping us out while Tony was missing and we put him at Tony's desk rather than the spare so he'd be closer to us while we were working. We needed everyone in close so we could get Tony back faster."

The ME sat down in the chair and leaned forward on his elbows. "And you, for some unknown reason, thought it would be funny to have McGee still sitting there when Tony returned so you could tell him how sorry you were that Tony was back and he couldn't keep the desk. Did you ever stop to think how that would hurt young Tony? How long has he worked for you?"

"Over two years."

"Breaking his track record," Ducky said. "Do you know why that is, Jethro?"

"Of course not, Duck," Gibbs said. "He comes in and does his job, annoys the hell out of me and Kate and goes home at night. As long as he keeps doing a good job I really don't care what his motives are."

"Oh Jethro," Ducky sighed. "The young man admires and respects you and this is how you choose to repay that. It's more than a little disturbing that you can be so blind and yet still be so good at your job. Tony plays the jester because you work in a serious job and he feels the need to lighten the mood as much as you'll let him but he does it mainly for you."

Gibbs sighed. "I never asked him to," he said. "All I want is for my people to do a good job and solve the cases."

"And isn't that what he did?" Ducky asked. "He risked his life with the undercover assignment and not only saved the victim but solved the case as well. And you showed him what a good job he did by telling another agent how sorry you were that Tony was back. I ask you again; do you have so little care for Tony?"

"Just what are you implying, Ducky?"

"I'm not implying anything, Jethro," Ducky said. "I just want to know your reasoning behind this so called prank. I want to know why you wanted to hurt Tony so badly."

"Maybe it's because I'm sick of his attitude."

"I don't believe that any more than you do," Ducky sighed. "For this to work, Jethro, you'll have to be honest with not only yourself but me as well. Think hard; why would you want to hurt Tony? Is it because he spends so much time flirting with women while he's on the job? Is it because he tries your patience so frequently that you resort to hitting him on the head to regain his focus? You need to figure this out because right now you have a young agent who is physically fine but ready to leave his job because he feels you no longer need him around. His exact words to me were that you view your agents as cups of coffee; use them and then throw them away when you're done."

"Aw, Duck, you know that's not true," Gibbs said. "Where did he get such a lame-assed stupid idea like that?"

"Most likely because you never praise him, only criticize and hurt," Ducky replied. "Would it really harm you or your reputation any to occasionally tell him good job? You tell it to Abby and Kate, even me on a rare occasion but never to Tony. He asked me why that was."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I was unsure of your motives but thought it possible that he was already aware he was performing well and you didn't feel a need to say it," Ducky sighed again. "But after today I don't wonder if I shouldn't reevaluate my opinion as well."

Gibbs shot up off the sofa. "One prank against my agent and suddenly everyone turns on me," he said. "Did no one notice how worried I was about DiNozzo when he was kidnapped? I was on the god damned phone with him when he passed out and just about killed myself trying to get to him. I thought I was going to die when I saw his keys and cell phone lying in that alley because I knew we had no way to track him and that bitch who had killed all the others had him. I seriously thought we'd never see him again and it'd be my fault that he died because I was the one who let him go undercover. When I saw him in the sewer I felt my heart start beating again for the first time since that phone call, especially when he asked me what I was doing there. He was so cocky, so Tony that it almost hurt. And then he was goading me to tell him he was irreplaceable and I told him he was. In front of Kate I told him he was irreplaceable and his eyes just lit up."

"And then what happened, Jethro?"

"I walked back into the bullpen and told McGee that Tony was back. I could see the confusion and pain in his eyes but it was too late to do anything," Gibbs said. "So I just laughed with the rest of them."

"So the great Gibbs couldn't face being wrong." Tony's voice startled the two men. The younger agent was standing in the hall holding a bottle of water. "Big surprise there. Ducky, you eat the pizza; suddenly I'm not so hungry."

The older men watched as Tony shuffled down the hall, the pace so unlike him that it made them both wince as the bedroom door slammed for the second time that evening. "Do you see what I'm saying, Jethro?" Ducky asked. "The young man needs to know that he means something to the team, that he's valued and he needs to believe that it's the truth and soon. I'm dreadfully worried about him right now."

"Well I sure as hell ain't going to be able to convince him of anything right now," Gibbs exclaimed.

"But you're the only one he's going to listen to," Ducky insisted. "Because you're the one he cares for. You're his boss, his teacher and his friend. I doubt I'm going far out on a limb by stating that he admires you and half the stunts he pulls are merely to obtain your attention, if only for that brief moment."

"I think you're reading too much into this, Ducky."

"Am I? Am I wrong, Jethro that you would die for that young man?"

"Of course not."

"Well then tell him that," Ducky said. "Tell Tony the truth about how you feel. I seriously doubt you can do more harm at this point and I'll be here to help but the words must come from you. Tony needs to know that you need him on the team. He needs to know that you need him."

"Duck, I don't know that I can."

"Come now, Jethro, where's your courage?"

"I think I lost it about the first time Tony slammed the door tonight," Gibbs sighed. "Let's eat before the cheese congeals and I'll try, Ducky. I'll try."

***

Chapter 3

Tony lay in bed, bundled under his blankets and listened to the murmur of voices from the living room; Ducky's soft accent and Gibbs' harsher tones. He wasn't entirely sure when Gibbs' opinion and praise had become so important to him. Maybe when he and Kate had tried to help Gibbs. All Tony did was take his cell phone for a minute to get a call for Abby. Both Kate and Abby got smiles and thanks and Tony had been threatened. He knew his boss both could and would break his fingers, hell, his whole hand if he wanted to. It hurt, especially when Kate turned and tried to assure Tony that Gibbs really did like him. Tony was good at his job and he knew it. It would just be nice to know that other people thought he was doing good as well. He wasn't operating under any illusions; he knew how his team saw him; the goof-off playboy womanizer who spent more time messing around than actually working. What he didn't understand was why no one seemed able or even willing to look past the surface façade to try and see why he acted like that. There was a fine line that he walked every day and Tony had gotten remarkably good at reading Gibbs' face so he'd know when to back off, even if he didn't always do it. He knew there were times when you just had to push and if it got him in trouble or smacked, he at least knew he'd done his self-appointed job to help the team relax a little. Their job was stressful and Tony didn't want Gibbs, Kate or even Ducky dying from a heart attack any time soon. They all meant too much to him. Maybe that's why it hurt so bad this time around; to find out he didn't matter to them at all.

He didn't move when the door opened and closed or when the edge of the bed dipped or even when he heard the soft sigh. Tony had known from the moment the door opened who was in the room with him and this time it wasn't Ducky.

"The last thing I ever meant to do was minimize your importance," Gibbs said softly. "To me or the team. I guess this time I just wasn't thinking and this time I ended up hurting you. How much of the conversation did you hear out there?"

"Enough."

"Did you hear me talking about how sick with worry I was when you passed out on me while we were on the phone?" Gibbs asked. "And how I didn't relax again until I saw your face through that grate in the sewer? Ducky told me the marine you saved mentioned rule nine."

"I do listen, Gibbs," Tony said. "And I know you were only concerned because you're the one who sent me out on the assignment in the first place. You've never lost a man before and you don't want to ruin your reputation."

Tony felt Gibbs' hand hit the mattress. "God damn it, DiNozzo, stop putting words in my mouth!" Gibbs exclaimed. "And will you at least sit up and look at me rather than hiding under the covers like a scared brat?"

"Jethro!" Ducky's soft voice echoed through the room.

The younger man rolled over and looked out from his warm cocoon. Gibbs had never seen DiNozzo's expressive, ever changing eyes look so dead and so hate-filled at the same time. "This is my house, Gibbs," Tony said.

"And you are both acting like children," Ducky scolded. "Honestly, do I have to do everything myself." He made his way to the bed and unwrapped the covers from around Tony's upper body. "Sit up, Tony; there's a good lad," he said, moving the pillows in behind the young man. "I know you're not ailing but until I see you eat something I worry about your blood sugar and dizzy spells so I want you to remain here until I return with some soup and crackers."

"I don't think I have any," Tony admitted, his eyes softening a little as he watched the grandfatherly man putter around the room. "Sorry, Ducky."

"Oh don't you dare apologize, Tony," Ducky said firmly. "I'll just pop out for a moment and get you something from down the street. I saw a lovely diner there." He turned to his friend. "Jethro, I advise you to temper your tone and your manner if you wish to accomplish anything here. Young Tony has every right to be mad at you for the stunt you pulled and unless you want me telling him the true reason behind it, I suggest you pull your head out of your..."

"Ducky!" Gibbs snarled.

"I was going to say little world, Jethro," Ducky replied sharply. "Now behave and maybe you'll be able to salvage your team. Tony, don't let him get away with anything, do you understand?"

"I guess," Tony said. He waited until the door was shut behind the ME before turning back to his boss. "So?"

"I'm resisting the urge to say, so what."

"You're the one who won't leave," Tony sighed. "I just want to go to sleep."

Gibbs rubbed his eyes. "I'm not leaving until we straighten this out," he said. "I refuse to let one stupid mistake tear the team apart."

"A stupid mistake?" Tony exclaimed. "That's all my feelings are to you, Gibbs? A stupid mistake? How the hell can you sit there and think for one minute that I'm just going to let you walk all over me one more time then you're dead wrong. I'm sick of it, Gibbs. I'm sick of all the head slaps, the put downs, the threats. I know I'm a goof-off, I mess up, I make mistakes. I'm human, Gibbs and I know it. So what if I want to try and ease the burden a little for our team when they get a little stressed out? Would it really kill you to tell me good job once in a while? How much would it hurt, Gibbs, for those words to come out of your mouth on occasion? I'm not asking for anything you don't freely give the others. It can't be that much to expect, Gibbs. Is it a marine thing or a Gibbs-bastard thing?"

"Okay, first of all Tony, I tell you good job," Gibbs said.

"When?"

"What?" Gibbs asked.

"When was the last time you told me that I did a good job?" Tony demanded.

"Last week."

Tony snorted and slipped back under the covers. "You keep telling yourself that, boss," he said. "You just keep telling yourself that."

Gibbs leapt across the bed and pinned Tony down. "You listen to me and you listen good," he snarled, straddling the younger agent's hips. "My heart about stopped when you passed out and I lost you. Not because I was worried about losing a field agent. Not because I didn't think you could handle it. Because it was you that was missing. You, Tony. I couldn't breathe again until I saw you through that grill in the sewer and then I had to open my mouth and ruin it once I had you home again. I hurt you and it's killing me to see that pain in your eyes and know that I put it there. What will it take to get you to believe me that you are irreplaceable to me? What would it take, Tony?"

Their eyes met for a moment and Gibbs leaned down and took Tony's mouth in a soft kiss.

***

Chapter 4

Tony froze as Gibbs' lips caressed over his own gently. He wondered if he had hit his head in the sewer or was having a reaction to the drugs used on him or even fallen asleep because there was no way his boss was straddling his hips, a growing erection pushing into his groin, kissing him.

"Please, Tony," Gibbs whispered, breath ghosting over Tony's lips. "Let me show you exactly how much you do mean to me. I don't; I can't lose you."

"So you think seducing me will make everything better?" Tony asked, trying to free his wrists. "News flash, Gibbs, sex doesn't fix anything."

"I know that," Gibbs replied. "Hell, Tony, I've been married three times, I know that better than anyone. But I don't want sex. I want a chance to show you exactly how special you are, how much you mean to me."

"And if I say no?" Tony twisted his body, not all that surprised when Gibbs flowed with him. "Then what, Gibbs? You going to force me? You've got the upper hand here and I know I can't beat you."

Gibbs' face paled. "Jesus, Tony, is that what you think of me? Do you really think I'd do something like that?"

"After today, Gibbs, I don't know what you're capable of," Tony said. "I never thought you'd stoop so low as to pull that cruel a prank on anyone. Do you really want to get rid of me that badly? Because right now all you have to do is say the word and I'm gone. Would that make you happy, Gibbs, knowing that you'd have Kate as your senior field agent? You wouldn't have to worry about me screwing up again or baby-sitting me in the field to make sure I stay focused on the case. Face it, Gibbs; I'm the only barrier to you having a perfect team."

"Jethro, that's not exactly what I meant when I said talk to him," Ducky commented, shutting the door behind him. "If I might be permitted to interrupt, I have a light supper for Tony that he should eat before it gets cold."

"One second, Duck." Gibbs leaned down and whispered in Tony's ear. "I don't know who did this much damage to you, Tony, but I know it's not all my doing. You stay here with Ducky and eat while I make some calls. I want the bastard that did this to you and I'm going to make him suffer."

"Gibbs, don't," Tony whimpered. "Leave it alone."

"Tony, you deserve to be happy and I'm only sorry it took all this to make me realize the truth," Gibbs said. "And how much damage I was actually doing." He kissed the younger man gently and moved off him. "Eat and rest, I'm not going any further than the living room. Trust me, Tony, please."

The younger man looked into the piercing blue eyes that scared so many people and saw the truth there. He shut his own eyes and nodded, a tear rolling down his face.

"Thank you, Tony; I don't deserve it," Gibbs said. "Ducky, I'll be right back."

"You're going to explain all this to me, Jethro," Ducky said as he pulled out some sandwiches and a cup of soup.

"I will, Duck; just stay with him until I get back."

Gibbs left the bedroom and made his way down the hall. It was all he could do not to punch something. He couldn't believe he'd been so blind to the pain one of his agents was in and that he'd added to it. Gibbs also hadn't realized his feelings for the younger man until he was forced to listen as Tony passed out and vanished and then it all became clear. It was probably also the reason he was so hard on the younger man but now Gibbs was livid. Someone had dared to hurt Tony and they were going to pay.

"You're on the air."

"Abs, pick up," Gibbs said.

"Gibbs, what's wrong?" Abby asked, picking up on the tone in his voice. "Where are you anyway? Kate was looking for you."

"Then she can keep looking," Gibbs replied. "Because I'm not leaving anytime soon. Abs, I need a favor."

"Anything, Gibbs, you know that."

"Even if it means looking into a close friend's past for me?"

"Even that," Abby said. "I know you wouldn't ask me to do it unless it was important."

"It is, Abby; Tony's been hurt and I need to know by who," Gibbs said. "I need to know everything you can find about him, official and unofficial as soon as you can."

There was silence for a moment. "What did you do to him, Gibbs?"

"I pushed him too far and I'm trying to make up for it," Gibbs replied. "Abs, Ducky is here and is about ready to kill me. I know I messed up and I'm trying to make it all right but I need your help. Tony won't talk to me; hell, he didn't even want me looking into it. But he agreed."

"All right, I'll see what I can do," Abby said. "But it might take a while. Some of these records are pretty secure."

"Give me names and I'll unlock them," Gibbs said. "I want to know who did this to Tony so I can make them pay. Someone did some serious damage to him and I want to know who."

"Did you finally tell him?"

"No, but I hinted at it," Gibbs sighed. "Abs, if I didn't know better, I'd say he's been abused and it's going to take a lot to get him to trust me again. I was stupid when he came back from the sewer and really did a number on him. But I think it's all triggered by whatever he's been hiding from us."

"I'm on it, Gibbs," Abby said. "And I'll make sure McGee stays out of it. This is between you, me and Tony."

"Thanks, Abs."
********************

"Do you feel up to explaining what's going on?" Ducky asked from the makeshift table he was using to hold his soup and water. "Because I have to say I've never seen Jethro like this before."

"Not really, Ducky," Tony replied. "I just want to go to sleep and forget this all happened."

"That's going to be quite impossible, I'm afraid," Ducky said. "From the sounds of things Jethro is irate and you know how he is once he gets an idea in his head; there's no dissuading him."

"Yeah, I know," Tony said. "I guess it's just as well he's going to find out the truth and I can move on. I'm thinking California or maybe Oregon. Just getting away from the east coast for a while, forgetting about everyone here and everything that's happened."

"Now, now, Tony; it's not as bad as all that," Ducky said. "I'll be here if you need to talk but I suggest you get some sleep. If you want I'll sleep on your couch so I can be readily available if you have nightmares."

Tony tried to smile. "Thanks, Ducky, but I know you need to get home to your mother," he said. "I'll be fine. I have been for years. Thanks for dinner."

"It was my pleasure, Tony," Ducky said. "Do you have the fixing for breakfast or do you need me to bring something by around ten? I know you have the day off and I'd suggest you spend it resting."

"I think I have cereal and milk," Tony said. "Thanks again, Ducky." He shuffled around and curled up under the blankets with his back to the door.

The ME shook his head and gathered up the remains of their meal before making his way to the kitchen. "He's sleeping, Jethro, so why don't you spare a moment and tell me what's going on. Tony didn't wish to speak of it."

"I don't blame him," Gibbs said. "I think he's been abused, Duck. I'm going to stay and make sure he's okay. This is really my fault and I want to help him as much as I can."

"You love him, don't you?"

"I think so," Gibbs said. "But I'm not going to push that on him. Hell, that's the last thing he needs."

"Very well. As Tony so alertly noted I need to get home to Mother but I'm only a phone call away," Ducky said. "If you or he needs anything over the weekend, do call. I told him to rest and I'd like for you to ensure that he does. If I didn't think he'd see it as punishment, I'd suggest Monday off as well to make sure all traces of the drug are out of his system and he has a chance to regain his balance."

"That's not going to happen in a weekend," Gibbs said. "I didn't realize what I was doing to him these past two years but I know all this self-doubt wasn't caused only by me. I remember him back in Baltimore and he acted like this there as well. I want to know who hurt him, Ducky."

"And you'll find out, Jethro, but for now you both need rest as it's been a stressful day. I'll find my own way out and secure the door," Ducky said. "You go and make sure Tony is all right and then get some rest. It'll do you both a world of good."

"Thanks, Ducky." Gibbs made his way back down the hall to Tony's bedroom and just stood in the door for a moment and looked at the pile of blankets on the bed. He couldn't even see Tony's head and wondered for a moment how the younger man managed to breathe while he slept. Then he slipped off his shoes, socks, shirt and undershirt before he climbed onto the bed. It took him a moment to get the covers untangled enough that he could slip under them and he pulled Tony in tight against him and let the soft breathing and heartbeat lull him to sleep.

***

Chapter 5

Tony drifted slowly back towards consciousness but fought it at the same time. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so well or felt so safe. If he didn't know Ducky so well, Tony would swear that he'd slipped something in Tony's soup the night before. As he woke up more Tony slowly became aware that he wasn't alone in his bed, that there was a warm, solid body wrapped around his own, strong arms holding him against the well muscled chest.

He wasn't sure exactly when his life took the turn into the Twilight Zone but it was just too weird. In the years Tony had worked for Gibbs he'd seen the man irate, mad, disgusted, angry, caring with Abby, happy and everything else but tender and loving. It'd gotten to the point where Tony had wondered why any of the ex-wives had ever agreed to marry the man because he really was a bastard all the time. He'd asked Ducky once and the ME had just laughed and shooed him away. Tony wasn't sure what to make of Gibbs' actions the day before. He'd known that Gibbs was upset that he'd been kidnapped and that was one of the reasons for goading him into the whole irreplaceable comment but then everything had just crashed around him and Tony had left the building as fast as he could. He wasn't expecting his boss to follow him and want to talk. He really wasn't expecting Gibbs to pin him to his own bed and kiss him.

Tony jumped when a cell phone started ringing; it wasn't his. A hand vanished from around his waist. "Gibbs."

"Where are you?" Abby asked. "I'm at your place with folders for you and you're not here. You really need to lock your door, Gibbs."

"I'm at Tony's," Gibbs said. "He's awake so could you bring breakfast along?"

"Absolutely," Abby said. "I'll see you in a bit, Gibbs; and you should tell him. It might help."

"We'll see." Gibbs closed his phone and shifted to look at the man lying next to him. "Good morning, Tony."

"Gibbs."

"I know you must be confused as hell, Tony," Gibbs sighed. "And probably don't trust me as far as you could throw me but I'd really like to hear the truth from you before Abby gets here. Want to tell me about it?"

Tony turned and hid his face in his pillow. "No."

"Okay. I'm going to shower," Gibbs said. "Can I borrow some sweats so we don't have to deal with Abby leering at us all through breakfast?"

"Whatever fits," Tony said, not looking up.

"Thank you."

Tony felt the bed dip as Gibbs left and missed the warmth of his boss' body more than he should. He knew that he should be telling Gibbs the truth but he just didn't want to deal with it. And he needed to sort out what he felt for his boss because it wasn't fair to lead the man on if he didn't have to. Gibbs was good looking, hell; Tony'd seen enough women fall over themselves trying to help him out on cases based off looks alone, unless women really did love a bastard. He couldn't stop the snort at that thought. But did he really want a physical relationship with his boss, and that led to the question of what the hell happened to rule 12?

"Come on, Tony; up and in the shower," Gibbs said. "Abby will be here any minute and do you really want her to catch you in bed?"

"It won't be the first time," Tony said. "I really just don't feel like getting up, Gibbs."

The older man sat down on the bed and took Tony's hand in both of his. "Tony, I know something bad happened to you before you came to work for me," he said. "And I realize I've only been making it worse but I can't promise to change. I'll try and tell you good job when you deserve it but I'm not going to be able to ease up on you. You're a good agent; you just need to be able to focus."

"Its okay, Gibbs," Tony said. "I just want this all to be a bad dream."

"I know, Tony, but it's not," Gibbs sighed. "Are you going to be able to eat?"

"Yeah; Abby's been through this before and knows what I can eat," Tony said softly.

Gibbs pushed down the flash of envy that ran through him at those words. It hurt that Tony hadn't trusted him enough to talk about the problems he was having in his life, but then a little voice asked if Gibbs himself wasn't one of the problems that Tony was forced to deal with. "There's Abby," Gibbs said. "I'll be right back." He kissed Tony's forehead and made his way to the front door.

"Hey, Gibbs," Abby said, handing off a small stack of folders. "I only need about six more hands to deal with all this stuff. I stopped and got you your coffee so you won't be such a bastard when you hear what I found. And I got us pastries and bagels. If I know Tony, his stomach is probably upset and won't handle anything too heavy right now."

"Abs, why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because it wasn't any of your business," Abby said. She left her bag by the door but pulled out a first aid kit. "I wasn't sure if this was a normal visit or not but I thought better safe than sorry."

"What?"

"Oh, you said Ducky was here," Abby said. She put the kit down by her bag. "Sorry, Gibbs."

"Abby, what's going on?" Gibbs asked. "You know what Tony's been hiding. He won't tell me about it."

She sighed. "You look through the folders, Gibbs, while I make sure he's okay and eats something," Abby said. "Then I'll hold him while we try and explain what's going on."

"I think this is going to take more than coffee," Gibbs muttered as he watched the young woman make her way down the hall towards the bedroom.
********************

"Hey Tony, I brought your fav," Abby said, hopping onto the bed. "How you feeling?"

"Like shit," Tony replied, sitting up. "I think I messed up, Abby. I overreacted to something Gibbs did and now he's going to find out everything and I'm going to have to leave. He won't want me around once he knows what's been going on."

"Tony, you haven't done anything wrong and we're not having that fight again," Abby said, unpacking the paper sack. "Gibbs is worried about you and wants to help. I've never seen him look like that before. You probably should hear it from him but he loves you, kid. He just doesn't want you to be burdened by that right now."

"How can he love me?"

"How can he not?" Abby asked. "Tony, you've been through hell and I know it's still going on but Gibbs can make it stop. He won't care about your past, he'll deal with the threat and the fallout and we'll go forward. You'll heal and be the happy Tony I know is hiding in there."

He smiled. "Thanks, Abs, but I don't know if I can deal with Gibbs knowing the truth. His opinion means the world to me. That's why it hurts so much to never hear any praise from him. Do you remember when he threatened to break my fingers and Kate turned and tried to tell me that Gibbs really did like me? Do you know how much that hurt? I was trying to help him the only way I knew and he threatened me. I almost walked out then, but he needed me."

"And that's the foundation for your relationship," Abby said, biting into a cherry tart. "You guys are total opposites and that's what makes you so strong. You just need to quit hiding behind the whole 'boy-toy' image and you'll be a great agent. And it might not hurt to quit with the whole competition thing you have going with both Kate and Tim. Gibbs is not going to replace you, kiddo. You're his senior field agent, the one he trusts the most because he knows you, Tony."

"No, he doesn't," Tony said softly. "He knows the Tony DiNozzo I show the world. How do you know he's going to want me around after all this?"

"I know because he's trying to make things right," Abby said. "He could just ignore all this and let you go. If he really wanted you off his team, Tony, you'd have been gone a long time ago. Just trust him, trust me and your heart. We won't lead you wrong."

"Thanks, Abs," Tony said. He grinned. "You get crumbs in my bed again and you're a dead woman."

Abby rolled her eyes. "The things I put up with," she said.
********************

Gibbs settled onto the floor just outside Tony's bedroom so he could listen and read at the same time. It broke his heart to hear Tony dismiss himself so easily. He didn't know what was going on, who was hurting Tony, but he was going to get it stopped and then spend as much time as it took showing Tony exactly how special he was.

He opened the first folder and found hospital reports from Baltimore. Tony had been beaten badly and Gibbs flipped through it quickly. He'd seen it when he hired Tony but he'd never heard the story behind the beating. It wasn't the only report, it looked like Tony had been hurt a lot while he was a street cop and Gibbs noted that he'd never visited the same hospital or doctor more than twice. How had he missed all this?

A knock at the door jarred Gibbs from the report he was reading and he stood slowly to go answer it and was almost knocked over as Tony ran out of the bedroom. "Just leave it, Gibbs, please," Tony gasped. "Don't answer it and maybe they'll go away."

"Is this the person who's been hurting you, Tony?" Gibbs asked.

"I, I can't..."

"Go back to bed, Tony, and keep Abby safe," Gibbs said firmly. He checked that his gun was loaded and made his way down the hall. Gibbs took a deep breath and opened the front door. "Can I help you?"

The taller of the two men looked down at Gibbs. "I'm looking for Tony DiNozzo," he said. "He's expecting us."

"He said you'd be stopping by," Gibbs said, lying easily. "Come in and make yourselves at home. I think he's in the back."

"He's never had company before," the younger man said.

"I'm his boss," Gibbs said, shutting the door and locking it. "He had a rough day at work yesterday and I stopped by to make sure everything is okay."

The men looked at each other, knowing smirks on both faces. "So you do know," the taller one said. "I'm Captain Brandon Shields from Baltimore and this is Sergeant Dan Fiffe."

"Oh yeah, I spoke to you when I hired Tony," Gibbs said. "I didn't know he was still in touch with anyone from his old department."

"Well it's not like he has much of a choice," the captain said. "Not if he wants to keep his job with NCIS after all."

"Now what do you mean by that?" Gibbs asked. He took his gun out and flipped off the safety. "I don't like the direction this conversation is taking, gentlemen, so I suggest you remove your weapons now and don't do anything stupid."

Abby peaked out from the hall. "Need a hand, Gibbs?"

"Yeah, Abs; you want to handcuff these slime bags for me? My cuffs are in the drawer with Tony's," Gibbs said. "And make sure they can't escape."

"Oooh, so devious," Abby said. "Are we going to dump their bodies for the crows?"

"Maybe; it depends on what they tell me," Gibbs said. His eyes were hard and cold. "You see, men, no one hurts an agent under my command and gets away with it."

Abby thought for a minute and then pulled out four sets of cuffs. She quickly secured the captain's left arm to his right leg and his right arm to the sergeant's left leg and then did the same to the sergeant. The result looked like a kinky game of twister gone wrong. "That should hold them," she said. "I recognize their names; these are the creeps that have been hurting Tony for so long."

"It's his word against ours," the captain said. "And he won't talk."

Gibbs smiled slowly and Abby took a step back in fear. "I think you'll be surprised," Gibbs said slowly. "And then we're going to take you to meet a close friend of ours. At least briefly."
********************

Gibbs sat down on Tony's bed and pulled the younger man in against him. "Tony, I want you to tell me the truth about those dirt bags we have tied up in the living room," he said softly. "Tell me what happened in Baltimore that made you so scared."

"I was caught in a bar," Tony said. "I was looking for one of my street contacts and Fiffe found me in one of the seedier gay bars. He was shocked and dragged me out of there and straight to Shields' office. They told me if I wanted to keep my job and stay out of the hospital or jail I'd do what they told me and act like everything was fine."

"They raped you," Gibbs said. "How long has this been going on, Tony?"

"Four and a half years," Tony whispered. "Abby found out about it not long after I started working for NCIS and was willing to doctor me so I could get back to work on Monday. I was so scared about anyone finding out. I swear, Gibbs, I was just there looking for information on a drug bust. They told me that no one would believe me if I told and that I shouldn't run. I did try that once, but they caught me and that was when I ended up in the hospital. I know the report says work related but it wasn't. It was them."

"I believe you, Tony," Gibbs whispered, kissing Tony's shoulder gently. "I believe you and so does Abby. No one else needs to know about it. Those bastards are going to vanish off the face of this planet and no one will ever find their remains."

Tony shook his head. "They said someone always knows when they're coming here," he said. "In case I wanted to try something funny."

"They hurt you, Tony, and I don't see any humor in that," Gibbs said. "We are going to work through this. I do love you, Tony; Abby was right about that. I'm not a councilor but I'll help you with your demons once we get rid of them. Do you want to face them one last time?"

"I don't know if I can."

"Its okay, Tony; I'm going to send Abby back in and she's going to stay with you. Ducky is going to help me with this. I swear to you, Tony that no one is going to ask any questions when this scum is gone."

"Okay," Tony said, softly. He turned and hid his face against Gibbs' neck. "Are you coming back?"

"Just as soon as I can, Tony," Gibbs said. "And then I'm not going to leave you again."

***

Chapter 6

Gibbs returned to the living room with the picture of Tony curled up under his blankets, hiding from the world. "Abs, go back and stay with Tony," he said. "And call Ducky for me. I need an autopsy lecture as soon as he can get here."

"All right," Abby said. "Be careful, Gibbs."

He waited until he was alone, slowly circling the bound men on the floor. "All right, dirt bag," he said softly, nudging Fiffe with his foot. "Tell me why you were following Tony that night. Was it to get him in trouble or were you already in that club and just covering your own ass at the department."

"We don't have to tell you anything."

"Actually you do because that's the way it works," Gibbs said. "I ask the questions and you answer them. If I don't like what you say then I might beat your ass a little but no one's going to really care. If it wouldn't hurt Tony I'd arrest your ass and send you to prison and let it leak out that you raped a couple kids. I'd seem like the easy route after that but I'm not going to hurt Tony again and I'm not going to let you hurt him any more. It ends now."

"You can't do this," Shields exclaimed. "It's illegal."

"So is rape and blackmail," Gibbs continued in that same soft, deadly tone. "And I don't care what I have to do to protect an agent under my command. He's never going to be bothered by your filth again."

"There are people who know where we are," Fiffe said.

"Good," Gibbs replied. "They can report your sorry asses missing when you don't come back. They can even come and ask me if I've seen you and if I'm in a good mood I might tell them the truth. Do your friends know you make special trips to DC to rape a man who used to be under your command? Does your department know what kind of monsters its hiding in its ranks?"

"You'll never tell anyone."

Gibbs smiled. "Don't be too sure of that," he said. "I'm going to have you write your own suicide note and confession before you die. Everyone will know the truth and what dirty cops you truly are." He looked up at the knock on the door; Ducky must have already been on his way over. "Don't go anywhere."

"I must say, Jethro, I was rather surprised to get Abby's call," Ducky said as the door opened and he walked inside. "Why you feel the sudden need for an autopsy lecture at this time of the morning I just don't.... Jethro, is there a reason there are two men hog tied in Tony's living room?"

"There sure is, Duck," Gibbs replied. "I don't like cops who abuse their power and I especially don't like rapist. These dirt bags have been raping and abusing Tony for years and I decided it ends today."

"Oh, I see; well then that does change matters a little," Ducky said. "How will they be killing themselves then?"

"What are you talking about?" Fiffe yelled. "You can't kill us!"

"I was thinking kinky sex turned into a murder/suicide," Gibbs said, ignoring the men on the floor. "That way they can be out in the country, no one will hear the gun shots, a note can be left and there's grass so we don't have to worry about foot prints."

Ducky chuckled. "This seems frightfully well thought out Jethro," he said. "Your mind is so devious at times it amazes me. Do you think we'll be able to handle this ourselves or will we need more aid?"

"I don't want anyone else to know what's been going on with Tony," Gibbs said. "There's too much of a chance it could all tie back to him and he'd be hurt. These people claim that they told someone where they were going but I don't know how much detail they went in to. But I think if the bodies are found in a compromising enough position with a note in their handwriting it'll all blow over."

"Well then the marine shall come out once again," Ducky said. "How is Tony?"

"Abby is in with him," Gibbs said. "Seems she's been taking care of him since he started at NCIS because he didn't want anyone else to know about this."

"I shall remain blissfully ignorant," Ducky said. "But I do want to check on him before we leave. You'll be okay with these people, Jethro?"

Gibbs smirked. "I think they need to worry about me," he said. He waited until Ducky was gone before sitting down in the chair and looking at Tony's former Captain. "So do you want to top or be the one killed first?"

"How can you sit there and talk about cold-blooded murder?" Shields asked.

"Simple, I'm a bastard," Gibbs replied. "But you hurt one of my people and that's something you don't want to do. So I'll give you the choice because you're ranking officer; top or die."
********************

"Are they gone?" Tony's voice was muffled by the blankets.

"Yeah, they just left," Abby replied. "God, Tony, I've never seen Gibbs look like that before. He scared me."

"He scares a lot of people, Abby," Tony said. "He just tones it down around you because he likes you."

"Oh come on, he likes you too. Why do you think he's doing all this?"

Tony's head popped up. "I don't know but I don't want him to get in trouble for it," he said. "Abby, what if he gets caught. I don't think I can lose him again."

"He won't get caught," Abby soothed, hugging Tony. "He knows what he's doing and if I know Gibbs he has a plan. You just gotta have faith, Tony. Gibbs loves you and will do anything for you. He just didn't know about it until you were kidnapped."

"I don't know if I can trust again," Tony admitted. "He says he wants to stay and help me but what if it all gets to be too much and he leaves? You know what a bastard he is all the time. How can he change to help me?"

"But that's just it, Tony; he won't change, he'll still be the jerk at the office and you can't expect that behavior to stop any time soon. It's his shield against the world," Abby said. "But at home I think he's going to make an effort to love you. He knows what you've been through and he won't try to push the relationship too fast."

"That's another thing," Tony sighed. "The only time I've ever slept with a guy has been those two and it's not exactly consensual. What if I don't like it? What if that pushes Gibbs away? I didn't realize how much his opinion mattered to me, how much his presence helps keep me calm. I don't think I'll survive if I lose him."

Abby tucked Tony's head under her chin. "You won't lose him, Tony," she sighed. "Give him a real chance and see where it goes. Who knows, under that bastard exterior might be the soul of a romantic."

They both paused for a second and started laughing. "Nah," they chorused and laughed harder.
********************

"I must say, Jethro, that was most distasteful and I feel in need of a long, hot shower," Ducky said as they drove back into town. "How Tony could keep such a secret for so long is quite beyond me."

"Aw, I can't say I blame him, Duck," Gibbs said. "It's not exactly something a guy is gonna talk about and it's not like I gave him a lot of reasons to trust me. He had Abby and that got him through it until now. Now we know and we can help him too."

"You've got to be careful, Jethro," Ducky said. "Our young friend has been traumatized enough and the last thing he needs is his bastard boss coming down hard on him. You must treat him with care and help him as best you can. I'm no psychiatrist but I will offer him my aid as well."

Gibbs sighed. "I'm just worried it'll get to the director or spread through NCIS," he said. "Something like that would kill Tony at this point."

"I don't believe anyone will be able to put all the pieces together as you were quite careful out there," Ducky said. "The care you must take now is with Tony. He needs you to be there for him, Jethro, and I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into before you're too far in to back out."

"Duck, I made three mistakes in my life, big ones I'm still paying for," Gibbs sighed. "I don't want to make a forth. I want Tony with me forever and I'll do whatever it takes to get him to stay with me. Hell, he knows what I'm like. I just hope he wants me the same way. I know rape can change people and not always for the better. I'm a guy and I want the same thing from him that those dirt bags we left in the woods did."

"No you don't my dear Jethro." Ducky patted Gibbs on the arm. "You want to love him, not control or hold power over him by fear. There's a huge difference and in time you'll both come to see that."
********************

The older men paused in the living room. "Do you hear that?" Gibbs asked. "I think its Tony and Abby."

"Why on earth would they be laughing?" Ducky asked, making his way down the hall. "What is going on in here?"

"Gibbs!" Abby exclaimed. She looked at Tony and they both started laughing again.

"Oh, my sides hurt," Tony groaned, trying to catch his breath. "Boss."

"Play nice, Gibbs," Abby managed to say as she was still laughing.

"You want to fill me in on the joke?" Gibbs asked. He sat down next to Tony and pulled the younger man to him, pleased when Tony settled against him with a soft sigh.

"Not really," Tony muttered. "Are they gone, boss?"

"Never to bother anyone again," Gibbs said. "I think they'll be found in a week or two."

"They're dead then?" Tony asked.

Gibbs tilted Tony's head up. "Never doubt that I would kill to protect you or any one of my people," he said firmly. "You don't have to worry about them again. There's no way to link them back to you or me for this weekend. The crime scene doesn't look staged and is a nice murder/suicide. The former captain wrote a nice note saying he couldn't live with what he had done to the men under his command or his lover and decided to end it all. Case closed."

"You sure, Gibbs?" Abby asked.

"As positive as I can be, Abs," Gibbs replied. "But I'll deal with anything that pops up. Now I think Tony and I need to talk."

"Indeed you do, Jethro, and I could use young Abby's assistance down at my car," Ducky said. "Come along, my dear, and let us leave our friends to their own devices."

Abby kissed Tony on the cheek. "Call me if you need to talk," she said. "Or want someone to eat danishes with on Saturday morning."

"Okay, thanks Abby," Tony said. "Ducky, thank you."

"You're more than welcome, my dear boy, more than welcome," Ducky said. "Now promise me you'll listen to what Jethro has to say with an open mind. He does care about you, you know."

"Yeah," Tony mumbled, falling asleep against Gibbs' warm chest. "I'm starting to see that."

Gibbs chased his friends out with a look and shifted around so both he and Tony were under the covers so the younger man could sleep. He'd already decided they were going to take Monday off and just rest. NCIS could function without them for one day.

"Love you, boss," Tony muttered. "Don't know when I'll be ready to do more, but wanted you to know that."

"I know, Tony," Gibbs replied softly, petting his lover's soft brown hair. "And right now this is all I need. I just need to know you're safe and with me."

Tony giggled, "Maybe Abby was right," he said softly.

"About what?" Gibbs asked, a little scared.

"You do have a romantic heart," Tony said, finally falling asleep.

Gibbs sighed and tried not to laugh. If Tony wanted romantic, he wouldn't know what hit him.

***

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