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Title: Quack!Fic
By: sandersyager
Pairing: Abby Sciuto/Anthony DiNozzo
Fandom: NCIS
Summary: Abby plays Ernie to Tony's Bert, or something.
Author's Notes: Celebriducks is real. This'll show you Brutus if you scroll down. Like NCIS, I own no part of it, I'm just amused by the toys. Written for the 'Toys' challenge at ncis_flashfic. Set in the same realm as Just A Morning Moment and Must Be Tuesday.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.

***

"Abby, could you come here for a minute?" Tony calls, perplexed by the sight in front of him. Twelve pairs of eyes gaze back at him, seemingly unimpressed.

"What's up?" she asks, pausing in the doorway. Tony continues staring at what appear to be Jesus, the Buddha, at least two Osbournes, Betty Boop, and James Brown lined up on the edge of the tub.

"When I said you should keep some things here, I don't think this is what I had in mind," he gestures toward the tub. Abby sighs, patting his arm as she leans past him to pick up one of the objects.

"Ah, come on, Tony, you know how I love my rubber duckies. They make bath time lots of fun," she squeezes Charlie Chaplin's belly, grinning as he squeaks at Tony.

"But twelve of them? And are those the Three Stooges?"

"There are nineteen more at my place, and yes. There's a company that makes them, they're limited edition collector's items," she turns the duck upside down to show him the insignia. "I've got the complete Kiss set, Frank from Rocky, James Dean's on order, and I've got Elvis at the lab."

"Elvis? Presley?" Tony raises his eyebrows, turning to reach for his toothbrush. Abby presses against his back, arms around his waist.

"Of course. He's the King, you know," she says, wiggling her hips against him in a way that makes him forget what they're supposed to be talking about.

"Um... Abs..." he manages as she slides her hands under his tee-shirt. She peeks at him over his shoulder in the mirror.

"I know. We've got work. Bleh," she sticks her tongue out and runs away, giggling.


A couple of weeks pass and Tony learns to live with the ducks, even after Abby tells him how she came to acquire them. Something about an analyst and fetishes, and he'd stopped her story by distracting her with a few fetishes of his own, because there are just some things he's not sure he's ready to know about her past.

Thursday morning, they get to the office early. Abby kisses him quickly on the elevator before continuing down to the lab, and Tony settles at his desk as the mail kid begins his rounds.

"DiNozzo? Heads up," the kid tosses a package onto his desk. Tony groans, he's been a little wary since the whole plague thing, and unexpected mail calls worry him. He tilts his ear to the box, then lifts it, satisfied that it's not ticking, and it is addressed to him. It even has a return address, a PO Box in California. He digs for his pocket knife and slits the side of the box carefully, holding his breath.

"You okay there, Tony?" McGee asks, dropping his backpack behind his desk.

"Yeah, mail," he frowns at the label on the box. "Celebriducks? Huh."

"That's where Maris ordered all of Abby's rubber ducks," McGee says helpfully. Tony gives him a restrained but dirty look, and opens the lid of the box. He picks up the note on top and grins. "What's it say?"

"That's private," Tony says, holding the note to his chest. Ziva stops next to McGee and reaches into the box before Tony can stop her.

"A rubber duck, Tony? Aren't you a little old for children's toys?" she smirks.

"It's a gift, and my gift, if you don't mind, Ziva," he snatches it back, causing it to squeak. "And it's not just any duck, I'll have you know. It's Brutus."

"You've already named it?" McGee almost laughs before he catches the glare Tony's giving him.

"I've always known Abby was the smarter geek," he sighs. "Brutus Buckeye, none other than proud mascot of the Ohio State Buckeyes," he points from the duck to his letter jacket, hanging just behind his desk. "It's amazing that we ever solve a case around here."

He leaves them grumbling behind him as he steps onto the elevator and heads downstairs. Abby dances in her lab, unaware that Tony's watching her from the doorway. He chuckles as he realizes the heavy guitar masks lyrics from Sesame Street. She whirls around, test tube in hand and freezes.

"Hi," she says, resuming her dance, only slightly more restrained. Tony crosses the room to stand next to her, laying the note on the table.

"You're something else, Abby," he says softly, knowing she can hear him under the music.

"What can I say?" she shrugs, slipping her arm around his shoulders. "Tony, honey, I'm awfully fond of you."

***