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Title: The Last Man Reflecting
By: lil-jei
Pairing: Implied Pairings Throughout---Tony/Jimmy. Jethro/Ducky. Tim/Abby
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG...Sad though
Warning: Depressing future fic with a whole ton of character death
Word Count: 700
Summary: What if Tony lived til he was in his 70's???
A/N: Unbeta'd and totally "free write" etc. I can see some of my residents/clients thinking like this so here's a Tony pov. The characters and show are not mine I take no money, I take no prisoners etc.

***

Getting to old age was not a glorious thing. But he'd finally made it there, over the years he hadn't been too sure that he'd survive to see his 40's let alone his 70's. Now that he had arrived, he wanted to go back to then. All those years ago he didn't think of the gray hair, bad knees, bad back, bad bladder, and a losing battle with his memory. Never had any of the age problems he now faced had ever popped up in his mind. Everyday for 30 plus years all he did was try to survive. Only to what, find his body failing him when he could finally enjoy it.

 

It wasn't all bad. Well if he was being forced to be honest. A lot of things in old age sucked. But he'd accomplished the one thing he hadn't thought possible at 12, 21, 32, 33, 34 and so on. He'd survived and that in itself was a great achievement. He'd promised so many people throughout his life that he'd make it. And he had with his stubborn foolish pride intact.

 

With a chuckle, he knew he had found the one good thing about his memory loss. He was losing the most painful memories first. Maybe he forced it on himself but damn it was a nice thing to remember Kate with a smile and not that bloody hole in her head on his best days. And even the good times with Probie and Abs took precedent over the bad times. He was forgetting the pain of being in lock up, of being betrayed, of hurt feelings, and lost love. There were some of the painful things he'd never forget. Gibbs leaving, his role in Jenny and Kate's deaths, Duck and Gibbs' deaths and maybe most of all the pain he'd caused Jeanne. To his dying day, he knew he would love her. Over his entire lifetime, he had never known anything more bittersweet than that time in his life.

 

As shocking, as some of the old team and his last one would find it he knew it didn't matter. None of the old guard was still around. He was the last of his NCIS generation. Sure, some had gotten old right along with him. But even more sure was a lot hadn't made it. He could still see their faces. Chris, Kate, Paula, Jenny, Ziva had all died violently. And most of them had died making the world a better place. Then there was Duck, Gibbs, Ernie, and even good ole Tom Morrow. Those men had made it all the way to their twilight years. Gibbs had actually lived long enough to see retirement and then some. And Duck was right there alongside him.

 

Sadly, McGee and Abby hadn't been the luckiest of any of them. A damn drunk driver had taken them from the world too soon. Leaving behind for Tony and James too look after two young kids. He knew Probie and Abs would be proud of the kids. They'd even be happy with how Jimmy and Tony had taken their early retirement time to raise the boys properly. Along with raising, the two young boys Jimmy and Tony had given to one another 20 years of love and loyalty. Jimmy had passed less than a year ago and it still hurt Tony's heart to think about it.

 

Looking around his cell...ummm bedroom Tony couldn't help but shrug his shoulders a bit. He hadn't ever wanted to end up here, alone in a bedroom he had to share with some other senile old fool. He was coming around to the idea slowly. He knew the boys couldn't handle him. He had too many medical problems for them to be burdened with. At least both of them were close and they brought their families to visit weekly. He looked forward to that the most.

 

It was now the little things in life he appreciated. Wouldn't McGoo get a kick out of that one? He could see each of the team's reactions to that idea. But he found it easiest to think of Jimmy's reaction most of all. He'd quirk a little smile and wrap his arms around him tightly. And with that, Tony feels an urge to nap coming upon him. Pushing a pillow behind his head, he tries to get comfortable. Laughing he thinks to himself "Damn these hospital beds anyway". He smiles some more as his eyes close. He's really glad he has the good memories left.

***