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Title: Back To School
By: BuffyAngel68
Pairing: Tony/Gibbs & A J Chegwidden/Tony DiNozzo
Fandom: NCIS/JAG
Rating: R
Series: 1) Post Traumatic Stress, 2) Undercover Cover-up
Disclaimer: Don't own them.
Warnings: D/s
Summary: It's been a few weeks and Tony is starting to relax and get complacent, thinking he's seen the last of the house. Big mistake...

***

NCIS:

Cell phone against his ear, Gibbs scowled as he stepped into the elevator and punched the button that would take him from the parking garage back up to the third floor and his team.

"I'm trying, but he keeps backing out, A.J. What am I supposed to do?"

"If you don't know that by now..."

"Yeah, yeah. It's not that easy."

"His training's only begun, Jethro. If he's going to be a backup for Clay and I, he has a lot more to learn. You're the one at risk if you end up needing him and he has no idea what to do."

"I know..."

"Then get off your ass and be the Dom I know you are. Take control."

"God... I haven't even said the words yet. He doesn't understand what we... what *I * pulled him into."

The brief silence that greeted this confession was almost palpable to Gibbs, making him instantly aware that A.J wasn't happy. The words that followed were worse and Jethro shivered involuntarily as he stepped out of the elevator and off to the side so he'd be out of the way while he finished the conversation.

"You what?"

"Damn it, A.J..."

"No excuses, Jethro, and no more stalling. Take him to your place and bring him up to speed. Once that's done, call me and we'll set up a play-date at the house."

Gibbs swallowed hard.

"Play-dates can get pretty involved."

"This one will, for damn sure."

"Okayyy... I know I've been neglectful..."

"No joke. I realize it's the middle of the day, so it can wait 'till quitting time, but no longer. This is critical, Jethro. Be thorough and make yourself absolutely clear as to what's expected of him."

"Right... you're right. I've put this off too long already. Thanks for the kick in the ass."

"No problem. I'll be waiting on your call."

"Understood. Bye, A.J."

"Take care."

Shutting down his phone, Gibbs drew a deep breath and headed for the section of cubicles where Tony waited.

"Hey, boss. What's up? New case?" the young man greeted Gibbs as the older man approached.

"Not yet. That report finished?"

"Almost."

"Good. Soon as it is, send it to my computer then go take lunch."

"Okay. Thanks, boss."

"Gonna need your help again tonight, by the way."

Tony's gaze turned to Gibbs' face just for a moment, trying to gauge how serious the other man was, then flicked back to his own monitor. His response reflected what he thought he saw.

"Can't, boss. Big plans."

Knowing McGee and Ziva were both engaged on assignments in other parts of the building, Gibbs decided there was no better time to give Tony a taste of where he'd be going that evening. Rising he moved to stand by Tony's desk and waited until the other man looked up at him. He then wrapped one hand around Tony's bicep and spoke quietly, but with a tone of command he hoped the young man would respond to quickly, as he also knew he couldn't depend on his other agents staying away indefinitely.

"Close your eyes, Anthony."

"Gibbs..."

A small shake of the head told Tony he'd made an error, which he swiftly, but reluctantly, corrected. "Jethro. Please don't... not here."

"Close your eyes. Do it now."

Sucking in a deep, surprised breath, Tony's head began to spin and he found himself doing exactly as Gibbs had ordered. "Good. I understand that you're scared about all this. You don't need to be. I'm here... and I'll always take care of you."

"We... we take care of each other..." Tony responded breathlessly.

"That's true, but there has to be structure... a hierarchy. It keeps things safe and under control and ensures noone gets hurt. It's time for you to start learning the rules."

"The... the house?"

"No... not yet. First you come to *my* house."

"Okay. I'll be there..."

"Thank you." Gibbs told him, releasing his grip and shifting his hand up to lightly brush the back of Tony's neck. The younger man's eyes instantly popped open.

"What the hell did you just do to me?"

"You'll see when you show up tonight." Gibbs told him as he headed back to his desk. "On second thought, you can finish that report after lunch. Go on."

"Uhhh... yeah. I think... that's a really good idea. I... I'll be back on time." Tony stuttered, standing and backing quickly away from his desk

"I know."

***

6:30 THAT EVENING:

Tony stood outside his boss' front door, struggling to decide whether to knock. Gibbs' earlier demonstration was still deeply agitating the younger man and his knotted emotions were keeping him from understanding what had actually happened. He knew he had utterly surrendered himself, but not why. What bothered him even more was how, with only six words, all his determination and resistance had so easily been swept aside. If he stepped over Gibbs' threshold tonight, it would happen again and he wasn't sure he could handle that until and unless he had the answers he was missing.

Tony felt rising acid briefly touch the back of his throat and he grimaced, swallowing to ease the burning. A moment later his mind suddenly jumped on the panic bandwagon as well, urging him to flee. Shaking his head, he stepped back once, then again. His retreat ceased, however, when the door opened and Gibbs was suddenly staring at him.

"Tony."

"Gibbs." Tony croaked, his voice cracking slightly due to the trace of fire that still lingered. "Look, I..."

"You're confused and scared, I understand that. You also have a choice to make."

"Back at the office... what was that? What's it supposed to mean?"

Gibbs stayed silent and Tony realized he would hear nothing more until he decided one way or the other. Fighting against the way his knees were trembling, he took a deep breath and strode forward again. He expected Gibbs to move aside and allow him to enter, but he got a firm hand pressed against his chest instead.

"Boss?"

"From now on, this house is no different for you than *the* House. You walk in, the same rules apply."

"You mean... I have to..."

"That's the deal."

Tony clenched his hands into fists momentarily, slowly pulled in another big breath and released it, then nodded. The hand on his torso moved up to caress his cheek. "Safeword."

"Sketchbook."

"Good man." Gibbs praised, finally backing out of the entrance. "C'mon in. Leave your shoes by the door."

Before he obeyed, Tony gazed searchingly into the powerful, transfixing blue eyes of his friend, lover and mentor. His expression grave, he asked a hushed question, unsure which response he really wanted.

"This will change us... change *me* forever. Right?"

"Depends. The way you reacted today, I think this is something you've always been, so no, that's not changing. You're acknowledging it... accepting. As for your perspective on the world... yeah, that's about to shift radically."

Tony's lips tightened and he frowned mildly, but he wasn't one to jump the fence after he'd chosen which side to land on. Holding fiercely to his trust in Gibbs, Tony stepped inside, holding back a wince as Jethro closed and locked the door. Toeing out of his sneakers, the younger man placed them neatly side by side in an out of the way spot then stood staring down at them, his mind strangely blank on what came next. Even as he was battling to remember, a quiet word jolted his thoughts and got him functioning again. "Anthony."

Turning back toward the center of the room, Tony dropped to his knees, lowered his chin and slid his hands behind his back, locking his right hand around his left wrist. Jethro slowly walked a circle around his new submissive, pleased that the other man had remembered the adjustment A.J. made to his hand position the last time they spent the night at the House. As he completed his inspection, Jethro stopped, feet slightly apart, and extended his fingers to tip up Tony's chin. "Tonight isn't like the last two times, Anthony. Those nights were about healing. This is a training session. There's a lot you don't know... things you need to understand. It may not ever happen again, but if the time comes when I need help... the kind A.J. and Clay gave me... I need you to be ready to step in if they aren't available. This is also about showing you what you are... teaching you the duties, rights and responsibilities of a submissive, as well as my responsibility to you. I won't be able to get through everything tonight, but we'll make a start at least. With me so far?"

Tony nodded slowly, feeling the dizzy sensation begin an encore performance as he stared up into Gibbs' eyes. "Good. Anytime you walk through that door, shoes come off and you kneel, without hesitation. Remind me what the release signal is."

"A... a touch on the back of the neck... sir."

"That's right. Being released means you can stand, but beyond that you don't move. If I touch your neck a second time, you're free to do what you want. Otherwise, you'll receive instructions. I promise, nothing I ever tell you to do will be cruel, come out of anger or intentionally cause you harm. Do you accept this promise?"

"I accept."

"Thank you. Now I need a promise from you. Do you swear to always try, even if what I ask is unfamiliar and frightening, to believe that my priority is bringing you pleasure and seeing you grow and move beyond your own expectations, and to always trust in me, until the day I prove that I no longer deserve it?"

"I swear."

"And I accept." Gibbs told him as he reached out and released Tony. Unclasping his hands briefly, so his balance wouldn't be affected, the younger man flowed to his feet and waited patiently, as he'd been told to do. Gibbs' smile broadened. "A.J. was right, you do listen well. Go get undressed. You can use the bedroom or the bathroom this time."

"This time..." Tony questioned mildly.

"Shame doesn't exist here, Anthony. Your body is beautiful and you need to get used to showing it to me when I ask, without stalling and without being embarrassed."

"I... I understand."

"I hope so." Gibbs murmured in his ear. "I do love you, Anthony. All I want is the best for your body, mind and spirit. I know trust isn't easy for you, but that's a huge part of what this is all about. Trust me not to hurt you... trust me not to abandon you... and trust me not to betray you. No matter what."

"I'll do my best, sir... but it may take a while to get the concept to sink in."

"Understood. Go on, now."

A short while later, Tony returned to the living room, his expression clearly broadcasting how badly he wanted to cover himself. Harm's lesson on vulnerability still rang clearly in his head, however, so he kept his hands down as he approached and knelt once again. "Well done."

"Thank you, sir." Tony responded quietly as Gibbs dropped to his knees as well, reaching out to lay his palm against Tony's cheek.

"You're welcome. Close your eyes and listen very carefully. I'm going to ask you to repeat some words for me, Anthony. They're very important. You need to burn them into your memory. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Say this after me: Everything I was belongs to you."

"Everything I was belongs to you."

"All I am at this moment is yours."

"All I am at this moment... is yours."

"All I will ever be I pledge to you."

"All I will ever be I pledge to you."

"All three phrases together."

Tony recited the statements again and received a soft caress for his successful effort. "Excellent. Tell me what those words mean to you."

"No lies, no evasions, no holding anything back. I have to trust you enough to completely surrender."

"That's it... You can feel it, can't you? The need... the desire to give it all up, just for a while... to stop being the tough survivor all the time. Let me take it away, Anthony. Your mind and body are screaming to be free. Every cell, every atom wants this."

"I... I'm so lightheaded... I just... I want..."

"What? What do you want, Anthony?"

"I don't know..."

"Yes you do. If you can't put it into words, then express it physically. Show me..."

Gradually, Tony let his upper body fall forward until his head rested on Jethro's knees. At first he was so tense that, like a ball of tightly wound string with a grenade in the center, he feared he would explode and then unravel, but the more Jethro stroked his hair and ran both hands over his shoulders, the more deeply Tony felt himself relaxing. All his fear and anxiety dissolved and drained out of him and, finally, he drew a deep breath and released it in a content sigh against the fabric under his cheek. "Good... that's so good. My sweet Anthony..."

"I feel so safe with you... this is right. Why didn't I know?" Tony murmured.

"Some people need guidance, some don't. There's nothing wrong with being one who did."

"But... what made you think I was worth it? Doesn't this mean that... deep inside I'm weak?"

Gibbs lifted Tony back to an upright position and locked their gazes together.

"First rule, Anthony. Pay close attention. It takes a lot more strength and courage to lay your soul... your very being at someone's feet, than it does to be the one who receives that gift. You've been damaged so fundamentally... just the fact that you're still able to trust shows how strong you are. Get this straight. Never forget it. True submissives are not weak. *You*... are not weak."

"I understand."

"Good. Ready to continue?"

"Yes, sir."

***

"Now I can try and explain a little about what you're feeling. It's called subspace or head space. It's a mental and emotional state you slip into when you're in session or sometimes when we're playing. It's also called falling. Between one moment and the next, you let go of who and what you are in the everyday world, you ignore everything else and you listen and respond only to what a Dom is asking of you. As a general rule, I'm the only one with authority to take you there, but A.J. or Clay may ask for permission to take over at some point. You're to respect and trust them and allow yourself to fall just like you would with me."

"I understand, sir."

"If anyone outside our circle violates that, or even *tries* to, and I don't find out about it from you ASAP..."

"Correction."

"Damn right. You always need to protect yourself. Stupidly risking your safety, on or off the job, is number one on the list of reasons for correction."

"Is that rule two, sir?"

"No. Rule two is learn the list until you can recite any item from memory when I ask. Ready?"

"Ready, sir."

"Two; lying, with advance knowledge that it *is* a lie. Three; breaking any prior agreement between the two of us. Four; any form of betrayal. That includes flirting, cheating, conspiracy to do either of those and not telling me when someone else approaches you with the intent to get you to flirt or cheat. Five; hiding or down-playing injuries and health issues."

"Sir..."

"I know the last one will be hard on you, but it goes hand-in-hand with not being reckless."

"If you're right, and I'm not weak, it isn't... I don't think it's fair of you to ask me to act like I am. Sir."

"And telling Ducky or I when you're sick or hurt means you're weak?" Gibbs questioned.

"I... giving in to little things, using sickness as an excuse to wimp out when I'm really just tired... I can't let it happen. It'll become a habit and then my performance will fall off and next thing you know... I'm not your senior agent anymore. Once that's gone..."

Tony trailed off, his gaze dropping to the floor between his knees. Gibbs tipped his chin back up firmly.

"First, I have never once seen you wimp out. I don't think you're capable of it. And I know you try like hell to forget it ever happened, but not that long ago you *were* sick. According to your doctors, the results of those few hours could last a long time. In the meantime you'll get tired easier, you'll be wide open to any illness that crosses your path and you'll take longer to come back from injuries. I know how much it means to you to show the world you're strong and brave and ready for anything... but the Y-Pestis did a lot more than just knock you down for a while. It changed your life and you'll have to accept that."

"I don't know if I can..."

"I do. Second, the only thing that will ever change your status at work is you. You make the choices, Anthony, not me. If you ever feel like you can't do the job up to your own standards... then you come to me and we'll talk about it. The same if you feel like you're ready to step up and take on even more of a leadership role than you have now. The one thing you have to know is that I'd feel the same about you whether you're my senior agent or a dog walker. All that matters is that you're happy. If you do ever leave the job, I promise you it won't affect us privately. I will always love you, no matter what, and our relationship won't ever be affected. Understood?"

"Understood, sir."

"Good. Let's keep going with the training." he replied, reaching out and lightly gripping Tony's bicep as he had in the office. "Remember how you felt this afternoon... and earlier tonight. Let go... let the rest of the world fall away... even as you're falling. I'm all you can hear right now, Anthony... I'm the only thing that exists for you. Don't fear it. Fall and trust me to be there... trust me to catch you. That's it... so good. Can you hear me, Anthony?"

"Yes... only you."

"For the moment. All this means is that I want your attention, but I expect that attention to be as complete and focused every time as it is right now. In the outside world, you'll listen to what I'm telling you then keep on with what you're doing when I let go. In the House, or in a play session, you listen and follow instructions. Clear?"

"Clear, sir."

Gibbs now transferred his grip to Tony's wrist.

"This means we're going deeper. Deeper... all the way down, Anthony. Relaxed... calm... I'm right here. Go on and fall..."

"God... this is so strange... I'm not sure..."

"You're not giving up control, Anthony. The sub always has the control and the last word on what happens to him or her. You're safe with me and you always will be... but you have the right to stop this anytime."

"My safeword."

"Say it and I bring you back up immediately."

"It... it's only for emergencies... and this isn't one. I'm just not... used to this."

"And you don't have to get there tonight. That's part of what a training session is for. You get to see what you can handle and decide whether to go past that threshold or not. The thing is, we're just beginning. Later, once I learn more about what your limits are, I'll probably push a little harder, but not tonight. Now tell me... are you ready to do this? Are you ready to completely submit?"

"I trust you... so yes, I'm ready."

"Alright. Remember how it felt falling from that airplane... but this time there's no fear, no worry. You're safe, Anthony... safer than you've ever been before. I'm here with you. Know that... believe it with everything you are."

"Yes..." Tony responded, his heart beating frantically as the woozy, drifting feeling built and built until he was no longer sure of the position of his body. All he knew, all he had to cling to, was Gibbs' voice and powerful presence. After a few more moments of struggle and fear, Tony's trust issues began to overcome him. Gibbs saw it and instantly aborted the attempt.

"It's alright, Anthony. You can't force this. Up... you're coming back up. Slowly, now. Take it slow. Good..."

Tears sliding down his face to drip onto the floor, Tony shook his head and berated himself. Jethro gathered the sobbing young man into his arms and rocked him back and forth.

"I tried... I swear I tried. I just can't go that far yet... I'm still so afraid I'll be hurt. I know you never would... logically I know it wasn't you... but I still feel it... like I'm there all over again..."

"I understand. It was just a trial run, don't worry about it, okay? Someday you'll be free of your past, Anthony. Together we'll find a way."

"I want that now! I want to be able to let go completely. I trust you with my life, my heart, my soul... why can't I just get over it and do what you ask me to?"

"It's not that easy and you know it."

Unwrapping himself from Tony and rising to his feet, Gibbs held out a hand. "C'mon... training's over for tonight. Time to relax and do something a lot more fun."

Tony stood as well, firmly grasping the offering. Jethro gazed at him solemnly and asked a question.

"Why were you allowed to stand just now?"

Tony hesitated, thinking swiftly, then smiled and responded.

"You gave me the signal when I arrived. I think... that lasts as long as I'm here, whether it's partial or full release. That way I can do what you ask without having to be released over and over. If you had to do that, the signal would lose its meaning."

Gibbs returned the grin and wiped the remnants of drying tears from Tony's cheeks.

"Good. Very, very good. Go on... hit the bedroom. I'll be there in a minute."

Tony swallowed hard, but did as Gibbs had commanded. Even after all the weeks since their last session at the house, and the leaps they'd taken physically that night, they had not yet fully become lovers. He realized that time was approaching and he wanted it badly, but unknowns made him jumpy.

Gibbs returned to find Tony sitting on the edge of the bed. "Relax, love. I'm not asking much for now. I just want to watch..."

"Me? You mean..."

"M-hmm. I want to see you touch yourself."

"But... can I ask..."

"Why? You can always ask why, Anthony. This isn't a master, slave relationship, where you can't ever question what I say."

"Okay... I'm asking."

"From our time at the house I know a little about what turns you on... what you like a lover to do. I'm dying to know more, though. The best way to find out is to let you show me."

"I've never... in front of anybody else."

"I'm not just anybody, Anthony. I care about you... I desire you."

"I know that... and I know I'm supposed to be getting past any shame or embarrassment when it comes to exposing my body for you. This is more than exposure, though..."

"It's vulnerability." Gibbs replied.

Tony looked at him sharply, wondering if Harm had revealed their conversation. Gradually, however, the young man relaxed enough to respond.

"That's it exactly."

Gibbs narrowed his gaze a bit and studied Tony intently.

"There's something you aren't saying."

"Kind of. I swear I'll explain. Just... later, okay?"

"Later." Gibbs agreed, nodding slightly. "You can do this, Anthony."

"I can try. I can't guarantee how I'll perform under scrutiny..."

"Personally, I discovered I do better. Knowing someone else is watching... it only adds to the intensity. Makes me wanna show 'em how good I am... how well I know my body."

"You sound like you've done this a lot."

"For Clay and A.J., yeah, I have. Only once on stage in front of strangers, though."

Tony gaped.

"Stage?!"

"I'll trade you that story for your revelation after we're done here. C'mon... lay back and show me how you pleasure yourself... show me your hot spots, how to get you hard and keep you that way until you're screaming and begging to come... show me, Anthony..."

Tony produced a laugh full of uncertainty and acceded to Gibbs' request. "That's it. Good... how do you start? Where do you go first?"

"My mind. Images get me going easier than words... so the fantasy always comes first."

"Uh-huh. What are you seeing?"

"Mmmm... one of my favorites... the past few weeks anyway. We're at the House that last time... except there's a bedroom suite in the far corner... so you stop just before I go over the edge... and you pick me up and carry me to the bed. You lay me down... and start kissing down my neck until you hit my chest. Somehow... you know my neck is sensitive, even though I didn't tell you..."

Tony stopped for a moment to wet the fingers of one hand in his mouth then began to circle one nipple slowly. Gibbs fought down the urge to interrupt the flow of Tony's narrative and settled for simply observing and listening. "When I start to whine, you understand that the stimulation's getting to be too much... and you move on. A minute later, you lick around the head of my cock... but at the same time you're squeezing at the base to help me stay in control. You know I want this to last..."

Here, Tony reached down with fresh saliva on his hand and began stroking himself very slowly. "Your touch feels so good... it's driving me crazy... but not as much as your voice."

"What am I saying?"

"Dirty things... all the moves you'll make on me... how you can't wait to make love to me... to push into me for the first time and watch my face as I feel it... and I want it too. I beg you, but you... you tell me I'm not ready yet... all you do is speed up your hand... and lean down to kiss me, hard... I... I come all over your hand... and you drink up my screams..."

Following his own scenario, Tony soon achieved his orgasm, though his vocalizations were moans and whimpers instead of screams. Gibbs let him recover in silence while he cleaned his young lover then climbed up beside Tony and lay down, gently pushing a hand through his hair and touching his face.

"That... was amazing. Quite an imagination you've got there..."

"For a long time, that's all I've had."

"Not anymore."

"No... thank God."

"So... you have something to tell me?"

"When you said that, about being vulnerable... I just wondered. When we were at the House, Harm said I needed to learn that being vulnerable is a good thing... that how much I let all of you in was a measure of the trust I was willing to put in you. You guys did help me stabilize and regain control that night... so I guess he was right."

"No 'I guess' about it."

"Right... if I can get to a place where I really understand that, maybe..."

Tony trailed off and turned onto his side, wrapping an arm around Gibbs and nuzzling into the other man's neck.

"I told you, you didn't fail tonight. You tried. That's what counts."

"Yeah... well, I choose to side with Yoda on that."

"Yoda?"

Tony snorted.

"How did I ever fall for a pop culture vacuum..." He grumped affectionately. "Star Wars, sir. Luke tells Yoda that he'll try to lift the space-ship out of the swamp. Yoda tells him that he'll either do it or he won't... that there is no try."

"There is in my world. That's the real world. Remember that?"

"Ha-ha. I told you my story..."

"I did promise, didn't I? Okay, so A.J. calls me up and tells me he's got an adventure planned and did I want to go along..."

***

TWO DAYS LATER: LATE AFTERNOON

Squinting at his screen, Tony frowned, backspaced and re-typed the word he'd just misspelled. Nothing made him more tense than completing reports, but the higher-ups believed they were necessary, so he grudgingly complied. Rolling his neck to relieve stress and pain in his shoulders, he growled faintly and turned back to the computer monitor, mentally cursing all forms of bureaucracy and the red tape that came with them.

A few moments later, he felt a firm hand grip his shoulder and relaxed into the touch, taking full advantage of the opportunity to briefly close his tired eyes. He knew instantly who it was and keenly anticipated the soft words that greeted his ears.

"You about done?"

"Getting there, boss. A couple more lines..."

"You can leave that 'till morning."

"I get to go home! Thank God... I was ready twenty paragraphs ago. Here I come, my beautiful car..."

"I'll be taking you home, Anthony. Just not yet." Jethro corrected, sliding the hand on Tony's shoulder down to his upper arm. The younger man reacted immediately, adopting a relaxed, but attentive posture.

"Yes, sir. What did you have in mind?"

"Some training in the gym."

"Training... or *training*?"

"A little of both..."

--------------------

THIRTY MINUTES LATER:

Dressed comfortably in sweat pants and t-shirts, their shoes left by the door, Jethro and Tony strolled into the shadowy gym side by side. Tony was slightly apprehensive about what his Dom had planned, but he knew he wouldn't be hurt, so he surrendered what little trust and faith he had and went with the flow. Once they reached the mats, Gibbs stopped and turned to face Tony.

"Right there is good."

"Should I kneel? I mean, this isn't..."

"Not this time. Can you show me how to stand at attention?"

"Uhhh... sure." Tony replied, arranging his body in the requested position.

"Not bad. Straighten the back a little more... palms in, hands flat against your thighs. Feet tight together... heels too. Eyes forward... eyes are always up and forward. Nice. Now... stay exactly like that and give me a blow by blow of what you did today. Start with breakfast."

"Breakfast... okay. I, uh... I had cocoa crunchies with sliced strawberries. Then I showered, got dressed and headed to work..."

Gibbs kept Tony going in this vein, with only occasional prods, for nearly thirty minutes, correcting verbally or with his hands when the young man slumped or shifted position even slightly. Finally, the strain became severe enough for Tony to speak up. "Then I... I sat down to do my report on yesterday's arrest... Sir, I'm really starting to ache. Can I please stop?"

"You can go to parade rest. Feet shoulder width apart... that's right. Hands up behind you... one under the other, resting in the small of your back. Perfect." Gibbs told him, smiling as he watched relief flood Tony's face. "Okay. Tell me about your top three college memories. Third best to number one."

With some of the pain easing, this task was much easier for Tony, but after another half hour, even the more relaxed position began to have its problems. Gibbs watched carefully, intervening only when he believed Tony had reached breaking point once more. "Good man. Let it all loose, now... shake, stretch, whatever you need to do."

Tony groaned quietly as tight muscles were released and relaxed.

"Thank you, sir."

"Save that for later. It'll mean more."

"Sir?"

"I want you to crouch."

Tony hesitated only for a moment before acceding to Gibbs request. "Good. Straighten up some instead of hunching over... better. Eyes forward, remember. No moving unless you start to lose your balance. Let's see... gimme the five best vacations you've ever taken."

This time Gibbs let Tony go a full forty minutes before he stepped in.

"... I'd never been... to the Bahamas before... the water is... it's just like in the br... brochures... blue-green... clear and warm... Sir, please..."

Kneeling behind him, Gibbs stroked his hair and massaged his shoulders.

"You've done beautifully, Anthony. Just beautifully... go ahead and drop to your knees..."

Tony collapsed forward with a mixed cry of pain and respite, tears of relief running freely down his cheeks. Knee-walking around to face his sub, Jethro eased him from his knees down onto his side then over onto his stomach. As he began a slow, gentle massage, he calmly questioned the young man.

"Talk to me, Anthony. Tell me about what you just went through."

"Standing at attention... it wasn't so bad at first, but then... my shoulders started to burn... and it spread to my whole upper back. I never knew anything could hurt like that..."

"And when I said you could move?"

"It felt... incredible. Then the aching started again... in my lower back this time... and my forearms... it was so amazing when I finally got to stretch."

"The crouch..."

"My legs were on fire. I wanted to scream... but I couldn't. I thought... I'd let you down if... if I gave in... then you said it was over and I could kneel... I swear I've never known a feeling like that... never..."

Finished soothing and un-knotting Tony's muscles, Jethro stretched out beside his lover and whispered in his ear.

"Now you understand, love. Now you know what falling is supposed to be. It should feel good... like everything has just dropped off your shoulders. Falling has nothing to do with pain, fear and worry... it's just the opposite. Falling is the ultimate, complete and total release."

Sitting up slowly, Tony embraced Jethro, head dropping to rest on his Dom's shoulder as he murmured his response.

"I do understand. Thank you, sir..."

"All part of the service. Session over, baby. Let's go get you a shower..."

Once in the locker room, both men stripped and moved to the large open shower area. As Tony stepped cautiously under the warm stream, water diverging into narrower sprays around his slender body, Jethro was forced to suppress a momentary flash of envy. He had long ago come to terms with the fact that the physique he'd once possessed would never again be his, but there were still rare moments when he allowed himself to wish for his youth back. Pushing his maudlin thoughts aside, Gibbs moved up behind Tony and wrapped his hands around his lover's hips, contenting himself with the thought that, even if he no longer had the perfect body, he had a sexy young lover who was willing to share his and that was more than enough. "How about... I do some of that dirty talking you mentioned back at my place? How about I tell you exactly what it is I dream about doing with you, hmmm?"

"Please. I'd love that..."

"Then touch yourself, Tony... stroke your hard cock and just listen..."

"Yeah, talk to me... love your voice..."

"First I'll lay you on your back... on silk sheets the color of a summer sky at straight-up noon... on the perfect cloudless day. Then I'll crawl up over you... and rub our nude bodies together until you wail and beg for me to give you more. I'll kiss you while I ease one slick finger into your body... then move down to lick and bite your nipples when I add a second finger... and when the third finger slides in beside the other two I'll be driving my tongue into your navel and you'll be moaning my name over and over. I'll pull my hand away and you'll sob like a child because you think I've left you... but a second later you'll scream out your joy when I fill up the emptiness with my cock. Once you're used to me, I'll start thrusting... pulling out so slow you curse my name, stealing every ounce of air in your lungs when I push back in the same way. I'll tease you like that until neither of us can stand it anymore and then I'll speed up and speed up, and when the moment is perfect we'll orgasm together, Tony... you and me, one body, one heart, one soul..."

"Uhhh! Oh, God... Jethro!"

"Come, Tony... do it... I'm with you..."

It took several minutes for the pair to catch their breath, but eventually Tony lifted himself away from his reclined position against Gibbs' chest, turned and kissed his Dom lingeringly.

"Mmmm... getting late." Gibbs mumbled regretfully.

"Yeah. If you wanna go get dressed first, I'll clean up in here..."

"Okay. But I'm buying dinner. I love you, Tony... way more than I'll ever be able to put into words."

"The ones you threw out there a minute ago said it pretty effectively. You better get moving..."

Gibbs left, reluctantly, and stepped back into the locker room just as his phone rang. Scrambling his locker open, he grabbed the cell and flipped it open.

"A.J.? It's going great. He's making real progress. Ready... yeah, after today I think he is..."

***

THE NEXT AFTERNOON:

As Tony was slipping into his jacket and tugging his backpack onto his shoulder, Gibbs stepped close to him, grinning lightly, and the younger man knew something was up. He had to wait until Ziva and McGee had said their goodbyes and gotten on the elevator before he discovered exactly what his Dom had in mind. The easy grip on his bicep had Tony immediately focused and listening intently.

"Sir?"

"We're going straight from here to the House. Leave your phone and pager locked in your desk with your gun. The pack can stay in my trunk until you need it again."

"The House. Sir, I'm doing fine. My emotions are under control, I'm dealing with my insecurities about us..."

"Relax, Anthony. The House isn't always about therapy or training. Remember Mikhail?"

"The blonde guy. He said... he wished it could have been a fun night instead of you needing to heal. So... no tears or throwing up?"

"Not the second one, anyway. You may end up shedding a few tears before the night's over... but only if I tease you too long before I let you come."

Tony's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to question that statement, but Gibbs tightened his grip a little and the young man took the hint to make a different inquiry.

"The others?"

"I know A.J. will be there and he'll probably bring Harm. Clay, you never know about. The way the world is today, he's almost always busy, but if he's in the states and home... yeah, we'll probably see him too."

"God... okay. I trust you, I trust them... I can go with the flow here, I really can."

"I know you can. C'mon. Lock up your stuff and let's get going. The timing is a little more casual tonight, but we still don't wanna make 'em wait too long. Knowing A.J., he'll start without us..."

-------------------

THE HOUSE:

"Steven. Looking good." Jethro complimented the other man, handing back the sign-in book.

"Thank you, sir. Welcome back. You do have your key card?"

Gibbs pulled out his wallet, extracted a gold plastic square with a magnetic strip and handed it over. It was plugged into a machine, updated so that it would operate the elevator they were headed for, and returned. "You're set for tonight, sir. Elevator two. Enjoy the evening."

"I plan to. Thanks." Gibbs replied with a chuckle as he replaced his wallet and led Tony away down a nearby hall.

"Elevator? I mean... I knew there was a second floor, you can see it from outside, but I never thought about..."

"You'll get all your answers in a minute. Just breathe and try to stay cool." Gibbs advised as they stopped in front of the closed elevator. Jethro waved the card at a reader, the doors slid open before them and he guided Tony into the small space. Gibbs now pulled out his keys, chose one, inserted and turned it. A motor began to rev faintly and the car purred upward, stopping a few seconds later. Retrieving his key, he led the way out into an enormous room. Tony followed, dropping to his knees and staring at the carpet, despite being incredibly curious about the apparently VIP only section of the House. Gibbs smiled down at him, caressed his hair and face then touched the nape of his neck. As he'd been instructed, Tony rose to his feet and waited for further commands from his Dom. He was mildly surprised to receive another stroke in the same spot, releasing him to do as he wished.

"Sir?"

"This is a play-date, Anthony. We're all here to have fun, give each other pleasure... do what we feel. The basic rules still apply..."

Gibbs deliberately paused and Tony took the cue to recite what he'd been taught.

"Respect the Doms, respect myself, respect you by telling you immediately if anyone makes a move that doesn't have that right. Trust the people you trust, trust myself enough to fall if I feel safe to do so, trust that I'm strong, not weak. No intentional lies, no breaking promises and agreements, no betrayal in any form, no being reckless with my health and safety."

Jethro grinned ear to ear. His gaze swept over Tony's face, taking in every feature and line, as his hands followed suit.

"Perfect. God, what a blessing I've been gifted with. Can you remember your affirmations?"

"Everything I was belongs to you. All I am at this moment is yours. All I will ever be I pledge to you."

"Yes... and I swear the same things, Anthony. Forever. Let's go find our other playmates, hmmm?"

"Sounds good, sir."

The two men strolled hand in hand further into the room, discovering Harm and A.J. huddled together on a large sofa, murmuring soft words and feeding each other ice cream by spoonfuls. Clay was standing at a full sized refrigerator near the back wall, pulling out a bottle of water. When he sensed Tony and Jethro approach, he turned with a half-smile.

"There you are. Nice to see you again, Anthony."

"You too, sir." Tony replied readily.

Clay's smile broadened.

"He *has* made progress. Water?"

"No, thank you, sir. Maybe later."

"If this play-date goes the way most of them do, that maybe will be turning into a definitely." Clay assured him, closing the fridge and turning to face the pair fully, his open dress shirt swinging around his bare torso. Tony blushed faintly, drawing a chuckle from Clay, who walked to within a foot or two of where the young man stood then looked to the other Dom.

"Permission, Jethro?"

"Of course."

Clay switched his gaze back to Tony, studying his face much as Gibbs had a few minutes before. Then he leaned in and placed a brief kiss on Tony's mouth.

"You're sweet... and incredibly beautiful. I'm afraid A.J.'s got me committed for the first few hours, but... if I asked you to be my playmate later tonight... would that be alright with you?"

Tony breathed deeply and finally managed to settle his stomach, return the smile and respond.

"Thank you, sir. I... I'd like that. As long as you're aware that I haven't... Jethro and I haven't..."

"Understood. We all get there at our own pace, kid. How far have you gone?"

"Uhhh... touching, licking... he sucked me off... and I've masturbated in front of him... twice."

"Hmmm. You haven't been at this long, so it sounds like you're right on track. Maybe tonight will see you take another step or two forward, but don't think for a minute that we expect it, okay? Whatever makes you comfortable tonight, that's as far as you go."

"Yes... sir."

"Good." Clay told him, dropping another, slightly longer kiss on Tony's cheek before he moved off to join A.J and Harm on the couch, tossing a final "Have fun you two..." over his shoulder. Gibbs tugged Tony over to a large hammock, suspended from rings and straps attached to the ceiling, and gestured him into it. Once his young lover was settled, Gibbs carefully stretched out beside him, wrapping his arms around Tony and letting one foot drag on the carpet, pushing off to set the hammock gently swaying.

"You're handling everything great, so far. I'm proud of you..."

"Yeah, well, I haven't been blitzed by any major surprises yet. We'll see how I do as the night goes on."

"Hey. What happened to respecting yourself... believing in your strength?"

Tony sighed.

"Your voice and mine aren't the only ones in my head... and they aren't even close to being the loudest."

"If I thought it would help I'd try and convince you that your dad can't hurt you anymore. We both know that'd be a lie and I'll never lie to you. I will tell you an important truth, though. You're not that child that he tore down and stepped on. You're an adult, you hold the power over your life... and he'll only continue to damage and control you as long as you let him."

Tony sighed again, more deeply, laid a hand over the arms tucked securely around him and didn't respond. "He's been in touch recently, hasn't he?"

"This morning... before I came in to work." Tony admitted finally, his words barely audible. "There's some company retreat next month. He said I'd better show up, prepared to become part of the family business, or he didn't want to ever see my face again. According to him, what I do is disgusting, low-class and nothing a son of his should be anywhere near. He demanded I give up my little "cops and robbers fantasy" as he called it... and come home. I tried to tell him I am home... that I've found the place I belong and the person I belong to and with... but he just kept talking and talking, so... I hung up."

Gibbs set the hammock swinging again and touched his lips to Tony's throat.

"Good for you. Sometimes the best and only option is retreat, Anthony. Is he off your heart for a while?"

"Yeah... I mean, yes, sir. It felt better telling somebody... telling you. I know you'll help me handle and work through all of that... just not tonight. Tonight is about relaxing and having fun..."

"Nail on the head. A.J. never had any problem with that concept..." Gibbs commented wryly, nudging Tony's head to direct his gaze across the room. The younger man's half-closed eyes snapped fully open and his breath momentarily caught in his throat. "Easy... no yelling, okay? Just talk to me quietly..."

"He's... Harmon, he's... oh my God, how does he do that?!"

"The same way you get to Carnegie Hall. After a few tries you can learn to let your throat relax, open up. Not everyone can do it. The gag reflex is just too strong in some people... but obviously not in his case. Damn...."

"Look at A.J.s face... you can see everything he's feeling. That... is just too hot..."

"You looked the same way when I first took you in my mouth... sucked you in and drank down every drop you could give me. Your expression was open and free in a way I'd never seen it before... if I hadn't already been in love with you... experiencing that would have done it... no question..."

Tony twisted his head back to look Gibbs in the eye.

"I hope you know how much I regret the way that happened. I'll do better next time, I promise. I was just so shocked when you took me in all at once, control never even crossed my mind..."

"Control wasn't the point. If I'd wanted it to last it would have. Your thick cock pulsing in my throat... your come flooding over my tongue for the first time... believe me, I got exactly what I was trying for that night."

"Then you weren't disappointed in me."

"Not then... not now... not ever." Jethro told him, punctuating his words with lingering kisses.

"I'll make sure it stays that way. The one thing I want most in the world is to keep making you proud..."

"Shhh. I know that. You like watching them, don't you? Just laying back and observing..."

"I... I think I do." Tony confessed quietly, turning his eyes back to the trio on the sofa. "I didn't know... I mean, it's never come up, so how could I? But being allowed to look... knowing that here, in this time and place, it isn't forbidden... like I said, too hot."

"I can tell." Gibbs replied, sliding one hand down to firmly cup Tony's growing erection through his jeans. Tony drew in a quick, shaky breath and released it on a soft moan. "Love the sounds you make... that's what makes me hot, Anthony... your face, your voice, the need and desire you show me so willingly..."

"Yes... please..."

"Please what? Don't be afraid to ask for what you want, love..."

"Touch me... open up my pants, pull out my cock and stroke me until I come... please, sir. I need your hand on me..."

"You do realize we're being watched, too, right? Are you ready for that? Can you be as daring and confident as they are?"

Tony's resolve wavered for a few terrifying moments, but he swiftly shored up his courage.

"They've already seen everything I've got, sir... Clayton and A.J when I was tested with the ring, Harmon when I had my own session. Besides... there's the rule I forgot about earlier. I need to be able to reveal my body when and where you ask me to... and believe I have nothing to be ashamed of."

"That's right, you don't. But they haven't seen you come... they haven't heard you groan and cry out as your orgasm completely takes you over. Orgasm is second only to actual love-making... in being the most intimate physical act anyone can witness. Can you handle that, Anthony?"

"Yes... I can. Please, just touch me now..."

"Your wish, my command. Hold on and keep watching them... let them inspire you, love."

As Gibbs finally lowered Tony's zipper and drew his hard flesh out into the relatively cooler air, the younger man whimpered faintly and struggled to keep his eyes open and focused on the other group. Clay had moved in behind Harm and was reaching underneath to stroke and caress him even as Harm was avidly working A.J over with his mouth. Tony shouted more loudly and pushed his hips forward as Jethro ran a thumb around the head of his cock. Clay looked in their direction and threw them a languid smile. "See that?" Gibbs whispered. "He really does think you're beautiful, Anthony. I can't wait to watch the two of you together later. The things he knows... the tricks I've seen him use, you've never imagined. If anyone's gonna make you cry tonight... it'll be him... but they'll be tears of sheer joy. You'll be crying because you've never felt so cherished... or felt like such an absolute, total sexual being. The first time he and I got to be one on one... that was the moment I truly understood what love-making was supposed to be... the best it could be. Every lick, every touch, every movement was dedicated to my pleasure... to making me feel worthy and desired. He took me to heights I never knew existed... he'll take you there too if you let him..."

Tony laughed and moaned out a broken response

"S... so that... that's where you... learned to make me... feel th-that way... I... I'll have to... th-thank him later..."

Gibbs heart swelled and he released a single, joyful tear of his own. Despite his assurance and confidence in front of Tony, he'd had moments when he wondered if he'd done a good thing starting the young man down this path. Knowing that Tony had no doubts about his intentions or his love made Jethro's insecurities vanish in a burst of delight and intense affection. Seeing the others were close to completion, he sped up the slide of his hand and brought Tony to a shuddering, roaring orgasm, murmuring pride and sweet words in his lover's ear. A few minutes later, just as Tony was beginning to recover and slow his breathing, Harm, now naked from the waist down, walked slowly up to the hammock and dropped to his knees, gazing hopefully at Jethro.

"They wanted some time alone. May I join you?"

***

"A.J. said it was alright?"

"It was his suggestion, sir. As usual, the choice was mine whether or not to take the advice."

"A suggestion isn't a rule or a command."

"Exactly."

"I'm glad you decided to approach. You're welcome to join us. I'll even leave the choice of equipment and toys up to you. Within reason."

Harm bit his lip slightly and twisted to briefly look around the room and assess what was available. When he looked back to the pair in the hammock, he had a sweet smile on his face.

"Is anal play acceptable, sir?"

Gibbs felt and heard Tony's breathing speed up, but his young protege offered no protest and asked no questions. Knowing what a measure of trust that silence was, Jethro honored it in his response, while still leaving the door open for his sub to gain a touch of experience.

"Gentle play, yes. With Anthony, there's to be no penetration whatsoever."

"Understood, sir. Bondage?"

"As long as it's very light and all the safety rules are explained to him first... I think he can handle that. Anthony?"

"Me? I... I get to say yes or no?"

Gibbs chuckled and kissed Tony's cheek.

"Always, love. Always. Can you answer the question?"

"Ummm... I've never even thought about... being tied up. I don't know anything about it."

Harm's smile broadened as he rose to his feet, holding out a hand to Tony.

"Let me show you? Nothing will happen until and unless you feel safe. Alright?"

After a fleeting moment of hesitation, Tony nodded and accepted Harm's assistance to rise from the hammock. Gibbs was close behind. Harm led Tony to a cabinet similar to the one he'd seen on his first visit. This time, however, it wasn't locked and Harm simply swung the double doors open. Tony's reaction to the contents was much the same as it had been before, but he pushed the anxiety aside and leaned on his fledgling capacity to trust, certain Gibbs would never allow Harm to go beyond the boundaries he'd agreed to a few moments earlier.

"Here..." Harm murmured, reaching to retrieve something lying on a shelf. "... these should be perfect."

When he turned to face them again, Tony realized he was holding silk scarves. "Go on. Touch them. You need to be sure about this."

Hesitantly, Tony accepted the soft lengths of fabric, running them slowly through his fingers.

"Can... am I allowed to ask what could be a... really personal question?"

"Absolutely. Go ahead."

"Everybody must have different reasons why they get into this life... will you tell me yours?"

"Why do I submit, you mean?"

Tony nodded. "That's a huge question. We can get in depth over drinks and dinner some day, but... the simplified version is that I discovered I needed it. In the outside world, I take on massive amounts of responsibility. The lives of men and women are literally laid in my hands every day. A.J. helps me step away from that... submitting to him means being able to just shake all the weight off my shoulders for a while. I can sleep, eat... that makes me more effective and better at what I do. 'Course, the fact that we love each other doesn't hurt either..."

"When did he tell you that? Actually say the words?" Tony asked, finally looking up and meeting Harm's eyes.

"The first night. After we talked about everything he was offering me, he reached out and ran one finger down my face... just one. That was all it took. I slid out of my chair and down to my knees in front of him. He got on the floor with me, took me in his arms... and whispered that he loved me. In that moment... I knew I'd never really believed those words from anyone else before. Not deep inside, where it mattered. Right then and there... I was his completely."

Tony flushed, scowled faintly and refocused on the scarves. "What?"

"It's not that easy. I want it and I can feel it happening..."

"... but too slowly?"

"For me, not Jethro." Tony admitted with a weak smile. "He swears he understands, that I have to go at my own pace... Clayton said the same thing when we came in tonight. I just... I feel like I should've been able to do it the way you did. Know and trust that it's right... and give Jethro everything. I say the words and it's not like I'm lying. I mean it and I want so bad for it to be real... "

Harm chuckled gently and took Tony's face in his hands.

"Anthony, take a breath. Slow down. Okay?"

"Yes."

"Good. You're not me. I never had to go through your pain, so I came to A.J. from a very different place."

"You... what did they tell you? How do you know..."

"Nobody had to tell me anything. I can hear it when you talk. The hurt drips off every word."

"If he... I keep thinking that if he has to put too much effort in, he'll... he'll get disgusted and decide I'm not worth it... that if he can't bring me around, nobody can."

Gibbs struggled with the urge to step in and reassure Tony, having to force his feet to stay in place. His heart and body screamed that he needed to hold and touch the man he loved, but rational thought finally overrode that craving. Tony was soaking up consolation and wisdom from an experienced sub, but one who he still perceived to be on his level, and Gibbs knew this was far more important at that moment than physical comfort from his Dom.

"Renovating a soul isn't like slapping up drywall and paint in a house, Anthony. You've obviously been lied to... told that you were loved when the person spitting out the words didn't give a damn about anything except what they could drain out of you before they threw you away. Damage like that doesn't heal like magic... even once you find someone who means every word they say. If you can just hang in and give Jethro time... he'll prove that he genuinely loves you and he's with you for the long haul, no matter what."

"I want that... I want to do that."

"Desire is the first step, but it's not enough. If you're sitting back on your heels and waiting for him to drag you up to each new level..."

Fire flashed in Tony's eyes briefly, a change Harm was pleased to finally see.

"I'm not. He knows I'm trying. I meet him more than halfway, I do whatever he asks, even if I'm not sure or it's beyond what I think I'm capable of..."

"And you keep achieving the goals he sets?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because he's doing it for me, not him. If he asks me to do something, it's to help me become stronger or braver or more confident. Seeing me do well makes him happy and builds my trust more... and the more secure I get, the closer we are."

"That... is probably the best definition of true love I ever heard. Now, are you ready to go have some fun?"

Tony bolstered his fragile grin and responded with a bit of real excitement.

"Yeah. Let's go."

"Hold on a minute. I've got a few more things to grab. Where is that thing... I wish this room was exclusive so the toys and equipment wouldn't get moved around... but all of us together couldn't afford to even make an offer... Ah, there it is. Now I need one of these... that... okay. I'm all set."

Turning with his hands full, Harm gazed curiously at Jethro. "Do you want anything before I close the cabinet, sir?"

"Not right now. Later, when Clayton takes over with Anthony... then maybe you and I and A.J. will see if there's anything in there that piques my interest. For the time being... I'm perfectly happy to watch you two play."

"I'm looking forward to it myself. Are there any restrictions beyond what you already laid out for me?"

"No. You both have free rein. If I see anything I disapprove of, trust me, you'll know."

Tony turned a questioning glance on his Dom.

"Free? I can... touch and kiss... whatever I feel like I have courage enough for?"

"Whatever. I'd especially love seeing him give you a lesson or two on what were talking about in the hammock... but it's up to you."

Tony blushed again, deeply enough this time that he could feel his skin heat up, and turned his face away.

"God, I wish that would quit! I feel like such a baby..." he grumbled.

"When it comes to this, you are, but that's nothing to get twisted up over. So you've got a lot to learn, still. Better to be inexperienced and willing to change than too ashamed to admit what you don't know. People stagnate with that attitude. They don't grow or ever get anywhere." Harm told him, smiling broadly as he headed off toward another section of the huge chamber.

"I know..." Tony responded, closing his eyes for a moment before he followed. "I'm dying to learn... about this and everything else I possibly can. I'm just glad courses in new crime scene technology don't have to be taken in the nude."

His hands still full, Harm stopped in his tracks, turned and stepped close to Tony, sliding one leg in between the other man's and rubbing his hip lightly against the younger sub's still exposed cock, which, in his emotional turmoil, Tony had utterly forgotten about.

"Mmmm, me too. Everyone else in the room would be crawling all over you... and then A.J. and Jethro would have to kill them. As good as I am, not even *I* could get them acquitted. Better that you only get naked with the four of us..."

Tony drew in a quick breath and moaned two words over and over as he exhaled

"Be vulnerable, be vulnerable, be vulnerable..."

With a swift kiss on Tony's neck, Harm laughed and moved away again, leading the way to an enormous padded table in the center of the room and placing the items he held on the carpet.

"I'm glad you remember that advice."

"It's helped a lot. I can open up my heart easier to Jethro... and the naked thing."

"Baby steps, Anthony. That's all you're expected to take right now." Harm assured him, stroking his hair slowly. "Like I said, I can see how badly you've been hurt in the past... but that's over. You're safe now. Safe... and loved... and valued. Time I showed you that. You ready to get going?"

"Yeah. Ready willing and able."

"Okay. First tell me your safeword."

"Sketchbook."

"Sketchbook. Got it. If anything is painful or you just get scared beyond what you can tolerate, use that immediately. No hesitation. I'll stop and we'll work out the problem before anything else happens. Clear?"

"Clear."

"Do you have an intermediate word yet? One you can use if you just need things to slow down?"

"No. We, uh... we haven't gotten that far. Gimme a second... Francis. That'll work."

"That means something to both of you?"

"Dick Francis. One of my favorite authors. Jethro's too."

Gibbs chuckled and responded wryly from his vantage point on the floor a few feet away.

"We'll discuss how you know that when we get home."

"I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation." Harm mused as he unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off. Tony watched him with well-disguised interest, and a bit of jealously at the ease with which he did it, then nervously began to follow suit. It took several minutes, but eventually he stood naked before his fellow sub. As his gaze slid unhurriedly over Tony's body, Harm grinned wickedly and whistled.

"What?" Tony protested mildly. "You saw me before. Nothing new under the sun..."

"I had a job to do that night. Yeah, I was aware you were naked, but I didn't get to focus on the details. Man, am I glad tonight is different..."

Tony kept his hands at his sides, though it was a battle, but he also turned away. Harm swiftly moved to stop him, gently holding him in place by the shoulders and looking intently into his eyes.

"Anthony..."

"I know. Can we talk later? Go to dinner, like you said... and really talk?"

"Anytime you want."

"Okay." Tony replied, visibly relieved, despite the anxiety still hovering at the edges of his expression. Though his heart ached and he longed to sit Tony down on the carpet and have that conversation immediately, Harm knew it wasn't the time or place and he followed the young man's lead, vowing not to let too many more days go by before they got back together.

"Now for the safety rules. The first I already told you about..."

"Don't be ashamed to use my safeword if something's seriously wrong, or the intermediate word if I just need to slow down."

"Right. Always play safe and don't let anyone take that option away from you, no matter how much you trust them. Second; ask for what you want. If I'm doing something you enjoy, there's nothing wrong with speaking right up and asking for more. If it's the opposite, ask me to stop or go back to something you liked."

"That's a safety rule?"

"If you can learn to talk when it's feeling good, you'll be more likely to do it when it's painful or frightening. That keeps you safe."

"Oh. Makes sense. The third?"

"If I ask you to do something to me and you don't think you can handle it, tell me. Doing something you're not comfortable with just because you think I'll be angry or disappointed if you don't... that's not acceptable. You always have the right to say no, Anthony. Always. Those are the only major rules."

"So basically... they all boil down to me *not* keeping my mouth shut. What a difference from the rules at work..."

Gibbs grinned and shot back a curt reply.

"Oh, you are so lucky I can't reach the back of your skull from here..."

Harm looked concerned about the comment, but Tony reassured him.

"It's not what you think. I'll explain later, okay?"

"You better. All set?"

"Yeah. Let's go..."

"Brave man. Take a deep breath and stay relaxed, Anthony. This spooks some people the first time..." Harm warned. Reaching out to where he'd laid the things from the cabinet, he retrieved a blindfold and slid it over Tony's face. "Okay?"

"Uhhh... for now."

"You can't see?"

"No. Nothing."

"Good..."

***

With the blindfold securely in place, Harm guided Tony closer to the table and helped him hop up onto it then stretch out on his back. He gently reclaimed the pair of scarves Tony still held and separated them from each other, laying one on the edge of the table and running the other through his fingers as Tony had done earlier.

"You still okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. The anticipation is intense, but in a really good way."

"You expected it to feel otherwise?"

"No, not with you. Someone I didn't trust, who I wasn't sure would stick to what they said..."

"I know. Been there, done that, never doing it again."

"Sounds like I'll be doing as much listening as talking when we go to dinner."

"Maybe." Harm replied quietly, stepping up to the head of the table. "But that's later. Right now... we need to be in the moment. Exist here, Anthony. Live only for the next stroke of my fingers... the next erotic word. Forget your eyes and let your other senses take over... let them drink in everything they can possibly hold. Nothing else matters but your body and the pleasure it's capable of giving you..."

Tony gasped as Harm gently gripped his hands and tugged his arms above his head. "Easy. I'm going to use a scarf to keep your wrists together, but I won't secure them to the table. If you feel like you have to bring them down again, you'll be able to do it."

"No... no, I need to believe I'm safe... believe in you. I can handle the... the loss of control."

"I'm not stripping anything from you. I wouldn't do that. Try and think of it as willingly surrendering the control instead. Every day people depend on you to get justice for them... sometimes even to save their lives. Now you can let that weight go... forget the person you are in the outside world and focus on who you get to be in here."

"Anthony... I'm Anthony..."

"That's right..." Harm confirmed, reveling in the shiver he induced when he ran his fingertips from Tony's now lightly bound wrists down his arms to his inner elbows. "...and tonight this part of you is allowed to be a sensualist. In this space, for these few hours, Anthony is allowed to only think about what he needs and to ask for whatever that is. So..."

"I... I need to be touched... and like you said, I'm new to this, so I need to learn new techniques... things I can take back and expand on in session with Jethro."

"I can handle those with no problem. Just understand that I won't be *trying* to teach you. Anything you learn will be a side benefit. This isn't a session... it's play." Harm assured him, moving back to Tony's left side and letting one end of the remaining scarf drift across the younger man's collarbone.

"Ooooh. That's... interesting."

"God, I hope I can get stronger language than that out of you by the time we're done." Harm laughed.

"It's my collarbone, not my... yow! Nipples!" Tony cried out as Harm rubbed the silk firmly over the small dark circles.

"Yow is a little better. Still not what I'm looking for, though... How much control do you have tonight, Anthony?"

"I... I don't know. Normally my stamina's pretty good and I've already... I've been there once tonight, so the edge is off... but with all the new sensations, and the blindfold, I'm just not sure."

"That's okay. I want this to last... for you to get all the pleasure you can in the time we have. Do you want the ring?"

Tony opened his mouth to answer, but his brain was still processing so he closed it again. A few minutes of deep contemplation later he finally responded.

"I want it to last too, so... yes."

"You've had experience with it?"

"Once. It was seriously intense..."

"That's the point. It takes the bliss to a whole other level... helps you put control right out of your mind. When you don't have to constantly fight with your dick over who's in charge... your focus switches to where your partner's hands are... what his mouth is doing. I've been with A.J long enough now that I don't really need it anymore, but sometimes... it's fun to go back to it." Harm told him as he retrieved and lubed the cock-ring. "Okay... here we go. Hold tight..."

"Oh... your hands are so warm... and soft. Except the... the fingertips. God, calluses are so sexy..."

"Wait 'till your first all-nighter with Jethro. I'm sure working with hand tools would produce a lot more rough spots than playing guitar. Lift up a little for me... good. There. Secure. Now we can really get started. So what is it you were discussing in the hammock?" he asked lightly, picking up the scarf once again and letting the soft material slide randomly over Tony's cock and inner thighs.

"Damn... uh, we were... talking about you and A.J... how you sucked him off. It... it looked impossible, but... Jethro said it just... jeez! ... takes practice..."

"He's right, for the most part. Some people's gag reflex is just too sensitive. I'm lucky. It only took one or two tries and some instructions for me to learn. Now... I have no problem with it. Sometimes, A.J. doesn't even have to ask. I just know when he needs me to take him in and I do it gladly... anywhere, anytime. I love the feel of his flesh slipping into my mouth and down my throat... I love how he tastes... I love looking up and watching him go crazy when I swirl my tongue around the head of his cock." Harm mused, letting his thumb gently start to circle in that exact spot on Tony.

"Oh, God... yes..."

"Better and better. Now you're starting to sound passionate... like your desire and lust are finally taking over."

"Rub harder... just a little bit harder..."

"I will if you really want me to. Do you want to go there now?"

"I do... but I want this to keep going, too... it feels so good..."

"Then be strong, okay? I swear, later on, when you absolutely can't stand it anymore, I'll take the ring off and suck you in so deep... and you'll sob when you come... partly because it's such a relief and partly because you don't want it to end. "

"Yes... okay... anything... do whatever you want... just do something, please..."

"Uh-uh. It's what you want, Anthony. You tell me what to do next."

"God... my chest... touch my chest again... that was so amazing..."

"Yeah... your beautiful nipples... stiff and aching to be twisted and licked. Let's see how much more mud we can get you to throw on your language..."

"Why? I don't... understand..."

"Because you're afraid of it... afraid that if you just let go and yell out all the dirty things you want me to do that you'll be punished. It won't happen." Harm assured him as he wrapped the scarf loosely around one hand then pressed that hand against Tony's stomach. "You're free here, Anthony. Free to feel and taste and scream whatever you want, as loud as you want."

The hand glided up and began to rotate directly over one of Tony's nipples. The younger man groaned and made incoherent sounds of pleasure, but couldn't quite bring himself to speak the words that were swirling and sparking in his brain. Harm acknowledged the strain in his partner's face and backed off the pressure a little. Instead of continuing the intense stimulation, he used the silk mitt he'd created to stroke Tony's face and upper arms.

"Okay, relax for me, Anthony. Relax... that's it. Good. Easy. Let's try this... tell me what you love about your Dom's body."

"I've really... mmm... only seen it once and... like you said... I was focused on other things..."

"Picture that night in your mind. See Jethro standing in front of you. He's just walked out of the dressing chamber... tall and proud and completely nude. You can't take your eyes off him, can you?"

"No... but I feel like... I should... like it isn't right to be... ogling him that way..."

"Now you know better. He loves you and he wants you to know him. Freeze that image and look all you like. Study his body... and tell me what you think."

"God... he's nothing like I thought. He hides so much under the clothes he wears at work. His arms are all muscle... and his chest.... but it's not blown-up bodybuilder hype. It's... real, like he did hard work out in the world to earn what he has. His legs are incredible... defined and solid. My hands are itching to just reach out and touch..."

"It's your imagination. Go ahead and do it."

"I can't... couldn't. Even before he explained all the Dom/sub stuff... I knew that. I knew he'd have to make the decision... that he'd have to choose me."

"And does he? Run the movie for me..."

"In my head, I'm begging and pleading for him to see me... feeling like I'll either cry or implode if he doesn't look at me in the next few seconds... and finally he smiles and strolls over to where I'm waiting. He runs a hand through my hair and... I just can't help but lean into his touch. He holds out his other hand, I take it... and he pulls me to my feet, telling me how much he always wanted me... how he can't wait to make love to me. We're so close I can feel the heat of his body... so powerful it feels like it's pounding and clawing its way through my skin. I can't think or talk... but I don't have to. He knows what I feel, what I want and need. Then he kisses me, long, slow and deep... and the room is gone, the world is gone... he's all there is for me. My Dom and the bond of trust and love we've built are the only things that matter now..."

His expression tight with the emotions Tony's recitation was arousing in him, Harm turned his gaze briefly to Jethro, as if to ask why the hell he had waited so long to take such an amazing young man into his heart and his bed. Gibbs simply smiled and shrugged and Harm could almost hear the unspoken reply:

{I'm an idiot.}

Harm briefly covered first one ear and then his eyes, indicating that Jethro had also been deaf and blind. The older man grinned, minutely tilted his chin down in acknowledgement, then gestured at the other sub to get back to work. Harm returned the smile and complied.

"Yeah... I've been there. A.J... sometimes, at the end of a really tough day, he pulls me close and kisses me over and over, without saying a word... and it just drives everything out of my head until I finally unwind and relax. Other times, he'll talk to me between kisses... and suddenly I'm more focused than I've ever been in my life. How about Jethro, hmmm? Is he still talking to you?"

"No... now he's just... staring at my body... up and down. I'm blushing so hard it feels like somebody set my head on fire."

"You're a dream for him... of course he wants to take his time instead of just jumping right in. The real thing is still watching us, you know... standing over there a few feet away. His eyes have barely left you since we started... "

"That intensity... it scares me sometimes. Nobody's ever made me feel like he does. I don't always know how to take it..."

"None of us do at first. You get used to it. Just keep telling yourself that it means we're loved and wanted."

"I know. That's why he's doing this for me... with me. If he didn't love and trust me I never would have been invited into this world. I think... I hope the rest of you will come to trust me too..."

"Done deal. Time to start revving the engine again, hmmm?"

"Yes... please. I want him to see... to know that I'm willing to do whatever he asks."

"What do you think he's asking of you tonight?" Harm asked quietly, working the silk back down over Tony's upper chest.

"To... to be open about my pleasure... be proud of my body... and trust you to take good care of me because he trusts you."

"Wow. Pretty big goals for a beginner to accomplish in just a few hours. How about we focus on just one for right now? Let's just keep working on that first part, okay?"

"Mmm... yeah... okay... I, uh... I really like how this feels. I thought maybe I'd be... scared... but I know I'm safe... so right now... it's all good. God... that's so weird... I had no idea my... my chest was so sensitive..."

"Your what?" Harm teased lightly, tweaking and twisting with gentle fingers.

"Ohhhh! My nipples! My nipples are sensitive!"

"They sure are. Not used to talking during sex, are you? To asking for what you want. You like to just get on with making your partner feel good... and let your pleasure happen on its own schedule."

"Y-yes... I try to be... considerate."

"Considerate is good. I hope nothing ever hurts you badly enough that you lose that... but just for tonight, we're changing your routine. Talk to Jethro. Fantasy or real, it doesn't matter. Just tell him what you want... where you love to be touched."

"I want your smile... the one you gave me when we came in tonight. It says I made you proud, pleased you... did it right. I never knew, never understood... but now I live for that smile. Part of it... is that I know your hands won't be far behind... stroking my face, holding my arm. That touch... it burns right through to my soul sometimes... and makes me so hard I wanna cry. You keep talking about how it'll feel when you finally make love to me... and every word makes me want that day more and more. I imagine your fingers and tongue and lips and skin... and the heat of your body when you lay on top of me. I want all of that and I want it now... but I know I'm not ready yet. I have to be patient... have to trust you to tell me when the time is right..."

"That's fantastic, Anthony. You're doing so well. Now talk to him about what's happening to your body. Make him feel it, even though he's all the way over there..."

"Oh! Ohhhh... he's... he's stroking my balls... squeezing... just l-lightly... I... ahhh hell... I'm on fire right now... every inch of skin feels... like it's coated with... pop rocks and soda... sparking, tingling... driving me higher and higher... oh God, Jethro... it's incredible...
Ahhh! Now he's fisting my cock... oh, finally... skin on skin, sliding up and back... slick and easy and slow... it feels so good... but I need to come... I want you to see me come... I can't stand the waiting much longer..."

"Just another few minutes, Anthony, I promise." Harm assured him, moving away to retrieve one more item from the floor. "I just want to show you one more thing, alright? Here... put the sole of your foot against my shoulder... that's right, like that. Now the other one on this side... don't be afraid to brace or push a little. I'm strong enough to handle it..."

"Wait... I thought you... Jethro said..."

"I won't be breaking my promise. I just need you a little more open and accessible... so I can show you something amazing. Relax for me... good... good man." Harm soothed, switching on the vibrator in his hand to its lowest setting and touching it to Tony's inner thigh. The younger man jumped, trembled and finally let loose with some of the strong language Harm had been trying to coax out of him.

"Shit! What the hell..."

"Vibrator. Hang on... it gets worlds better..." he chuckled, moving the toy down to drag it gently along the side of Tony's cock.

"Oh my God! Now! Please take the harness off now! I have to come... have to come..."

"I hear you. I'll take it off in just a second. One more shift of position first... try and stay in control until I can get my mouth over you. I want every drop you can give me..."

Harm notched the intensity on the toy up one level and then pressed the shaft against Tony's exposed entrance. Before his young partner's scream of shock and ecstasy had begun to fade, the ring and harness were removed and, as Harm had vowed, Tony's cock was swiftly engulfed by the other man's mouth and throat. Long minutes later, when Tony's breathing had slowed and he was once again stretched out prone, Harm moved back to stand by the head of the table and removed Tony's blindfold and bindings. The young man blinked and smiled wearily, his eyes quickly adjusting to the subdued light. What he saw when he pushed up to one elbow, however, turned his grin to an expression of astonishment, brought a deep flush to his cheeks and made him pull his gaze away. While he'd been unaware, his audience had grown from one to three, all of whom were pleasuring each other and avidly staring at him.

***

Chuckling, Harm touched Tony's shoulder with a gentle hand and spoke close to his ear.

"Anthony... it's okay. More than okay, actually. What you just accomplished is something that hasn't happened to A.J. in years."

Tony marginally raised his eyes to acknowledge Harm while still trying to block out the sights and sounds of the men a few feet way.

"Uh-huh..."

"You turned him on so much he *and* his partner of the moment both ended up focused on a third person instead of staying totally locked into each other. You don't know what a compliment that is."

"I... wow. I still can't look yet. God, am I ever gonna get used to everything that goes with this life?"

"It'll get easier, yeah. What you'll learn to do is adjust to the surprises that are waiting around every corner."

"G... Jethro wouldn't ever let me get hurt."

"No, he wouldn't. You've got a fabulous Dom, Anthony. According to A.J, he's one of the best. Loving, dedicated, protective... but he's also got a sense of adventure that'll shock you. I agree, you'll never get hurt, but I guarantee... the scariest most exciting amusement park ride you ever took is a carousel compared to where Jethro can take you. You just have to be willing to follow..."

"I'm trying... God, I'm trying. I keep getting bogged down and tripped up by my doubts and fears..."

"Anthony, look at me. No, all the way... right in my eyes. That's better. Now listen close. You need to stop being ashamed that you're human. I've been with A.J. for a year now and I still question, still get afraid. The day you stop connecting so powerfully with your emotions is the day you start worrying. Get it?"

Tony grinned and shook his head.

"Got it."

"Good. Now... if I'm hearing right A.J., at least, is almost done. Will you turn around and watch with me?"

"But..."

"Trust me, they want you to watch. When you were in the hammock with Jethro, the rest of us knew you were looking and it just made it hotter. C'mon... yeah. That's it... watch Clayton especially. When a really intense orgasm hits him... God, he's a sight to see..."

As he watched A.J. bring Gibbs off with an expert touch, and Gibbs do the same for Clay, Tony felt heat slowly creep up his face and his body try valiantly to respond to the incredibly stimulating scene, though he knew nothing much was going to happen so soon after his own release. Turning his face away once more, he murmured something almost inaudible, causing Harm to grin and request a louder repeat.

"I said... I've only heard about circle jerks. Never thought I'd actually *see* one..."

When a strong hand dropped onto his shoulder a moment later and Clay's warm laugh sounded close to his ear, Tony jumped slightly and turned to face him with a rueful smile.

"Sorry if that was crude, sir. I don't know any other way to describe it..."

"Neither do I, so it's no problem. You recovered yet?"

"I've got my breath back, sir. Getting another... that may have to wait a few minutes."

Clay leaned in and spoke softly, but decisively, savoring Tony's shiver at the warm breath touching his skin.

"Say the word."

The younger man swallowed forcefully and did as he'd been commanded.

"An erection. Getting another erection may have to wait."

"It can, for as long as it wants to. That's not what I'm after tonight. Turn over and stretch out on your stomach for me."

Tony paled and gazed swiftly from Gibbs to Clay and back, his expression slightly drawn and concerned. Jethro spoke a few quiet words to A.J. then moved immediately to his sub's side.

"Anthony?"

"I... I'm sorry, sir. I had a-a moment of panic, but I'm fine now."

"Panic. Over what?"

"Something I was asked to do. Clayton hasn't... I just wanted to be sure the same understanding we had before is still in effect. If it isn't, I can deal with that... I mean, it won't be easy, but I'd do it if you asked me to..."

Reaching out, Jethro gripped Tony's bicep and spoke firmly to him and the other instantly responded by falling silent, closing his eyes and listening intently.

"Anthony. Calm down."

Tony drew a deep, shaky breath, held it for a moment and expelled the air more smoothly before replying.

"Calm, sir."

"Good. Tell me what you were asked to do."

"Lay on my stomach. I jumped to a wrong conclusion, I know that now, but in the moment..."

"... you were afraid. I understand. Clayton... since we're on the same level I can't demand anything of you... all I can do is ask. The agreement I made with Harmon was that very light bondage and anal play were in bounds, but penetration was out. Will you honor that arrangement?"

"Of course I will. You're the one who knows him, knows his limits." He agreed easily then addressed Tony. "I wasn't trying to scare you, Anthony. Push you a little, but not scare you. I'd really like to play... but you know it's always up to you. Can you trust me?"

"I do. This wasn't about... in my head I know how patient Jethro is being with me... how slow he's going for my sake. It's just that... sometimes it still seems to be happening way too fast and that kick-starts my issues... I'm sorry, sir. I trust you. I'm ready... I'll do whatever you ask."

Clay spent a few minutes simply touching Tony's hair, face and hands and studying the young man with a purposeful expression. Only when his examination seemed to be finished did he speak again.

"You are so strong and beautiful. You need to understand that I want you... bad. It won't happen tonight, but I promise you that someday... when enough time has passed and Jethro tells me you're ready... I'll take you somewhere for a long weekend and you and I will lock ourselves away from the world. We'll make love over and over, until neither one of us can move... then we'll sleep, I'll feed you breakfast in bed and we'll start all over again."

Recalling Jethro's vivid description of what it was like to be the sole focus of Clay's attention, Tony blushed scarlet, but this time found the courage to hold the other man's gaze as he responded.

"Yes... sir. And tonight?"

"I have a few ideas... but we'll see how it goes."

"Understood." Tony told him, rolling over onto his stomach and pillowing his head on his crossed arms. Clay stroked his back once then turned to Jethro. "You can go see what the other two are up to, now. Anthony and I will be fine."

"I know. He's the one you had to convince. Nice job, by the way."

"Thank you. Have fun." He chuckled as Jethro stepped away.

"Yeah, maybe in a half hour. I don't exactly make an instant comeback either...especially after a session with Admiral magic hands."

Clay laughed.

"Magic everything else, too. Relax, Anthony. I just need to grab my massage kit and I'll be right back."

"Massage? Cool..."

By the time Clay returned, Tony had consciously surrendered the majority of the tension he'd built up since the misunderstanding with the smaller Dom. The first stroke of warm, oiled hands over his shoulders did the rest of the job. When Clay remained silent after several minutes, Tony became curious and spoke up.

"Aren't you... mmm, wow that is so good... aren't you gonna ask me any... oooh... questions?"

"No. It's your turn."

"Me? Hmmmph.... I can ask anything?"

"Anything at all. Just know that you may not get an answer."

"Okay... have you always known?"

"That I was a Dom? I knew I had the personality to command and lead, but living this life... I didn't find out about that until my early twenties. I was lucky to be taken under the wing of a very good man. He was a lot like Jethro, come to think of it. Strong, but incredibly compassionate... smarter than almost anybody I've ever known... plus he had a wicked sense of humor *and* he was gorgeous. The man was sexy as hell... there wasn't anything about him I didn't love."

"I hear sadness..."

"We're still the best of friends... but we weren't meant to be soulmates. That, he found right under his nose at work. He's been in a committed relationship for almost two years now."

Something of the deeper emotions the memory engendered must have leaked out, even though he didn't intend it to, because Tony slowly sat up, turned back over and impulsively hugged Clay around the neck. It took a few seconds for him to realize that what he'd done could be a serious breach and to abruptly pull back, a look of mild horror on his face, but Clay swiftly reassured him. "It's alright. Just tell me what brought that on."

"I could hear how much you want and need someone like that in your life. Felt like you needed comfort. I'm sorry I disobeyed..."

"You didn't." Clay murmured, drawing Tony back into a full hug. "Your heart is so amazing, sweetness. Don't ever apologize for following it when you think someone else is hurting..."

"I *knew* you were." Tony countered gently, pulling back a bit. "I won't ask, I swear, but whatever it is you do for work.... I think you consider it more important than being able to have full-time love in your life. I can't imagine how much that must hurt sometimes..."

Clay's fingers slid up to cradle the back of Tony's neck while his thumbs caressed the young man's face slowly.

"It does... but you're right. What I do is very important. If I'd ever found someone as special as you are, though... who knows how different things might be?"

"Hey, whenever you're home, and as long as Jethro's willing to share once in a while... I'm here for you. Just ask. Like you said, we'll take a weekend, go somewhere private... and I'll help you pretend."

Clay grinned softly, tightened his grip a little and leaned in to drop a light kiss on Tony's lips.

"God, just knowing you had the courage to offer that to me... thank you, Anthony."

"You're welcome, sir."

"Turn back over and let's keep going with your massage."

Tony complied readily and Clay, adding more oil to his hands and warming it, resumed his work. Lost in their own thoughts, both men were silent as Clay worked his way from Tony's upper back to his lumbar area. The moment he reached this threshold, as he anticipated, Tony tensed. "Easy... take it easy. Nothing to worry about... your ass is as much muscle as any other part of your body and it can benefit just as much from massage. Relax..."

"I know. It's just I'm already... recovering and..."

"You're what?"

"Right... I meant to say that I'm hard again. I just don't understand why everybody wants me to talk dirty tonight..."

"Harmon?"

"Yes, sir. He... he said he wanted me to talk like that because I'm afraid of it... afraid I'll be punished for speaking up... saying what I really wanted him to do."

Clay kept silent and eventually Tony sighed and added to his comment. "He could be right."

Clay laughed and replied in the softest, most seductive voice Tony had ever heard.

"There's a big difference between dirty and erotic, Anthony. Worlds of difference... if the right person's doing the talking."

"And, umm... you'd be... willing to give me an example? Sir."

"Possible. Let me finish with this side and we'll get you turned over."

"I'm ready. Go ahead."

Again, Tony momentarily tensed, but gradually he relaxed into the warmth and expertise of Clay's hands, the faint scent of the oil and the minute-by-minute knowledge that the older man really wasn't about to make any unwanted advances. Once again, silence reigned as Clay made his way down Tony's thighs and calves, but the Dom found himself fighting off an urge to ask what the hell had happened in his past to cause the level of fear, uncertainty and mistrust he'd witnessed over the past few weeks. He held back because he knew neither the inquiry nor the possible answer had any place in a session meant to be light and joyful, but he swore he would convince Jethro and A.J. to help him coax the truth from Tony on some future night.

Once he began to firmly stroke Tony's ankles and feet, he was rewarded with a sigh and a quiet groan.

"Never had your feet massaged, hmmm?"

"I have... but it's been way too long. God, how could I possibly forget how massively *good* this feels..."

"You haven't been pampered enough, sweetheart. Jethro will take care of that, trust me. Time to roll over."

Languidly, Tony complied, hoping for facial and scalp massage as well. When he'd settled in, Clay granted his unspoken wish.

"Mmmm... fantastic."

"You're a little hedonist, aren't you?"

"If it means getting treated like this... hedonism can't possibly be a bad thing."

"No... as long as you know how, where and when it's appropriate to indulge it."

"Like... now for instance?"

"Yeah... like now." Clay agreed, his hands sliding down to caress Tony's neck and the underside of his chin. "Jethro wants more than your body and your willing obedience, you know. He's been looking for you for years, Anthony... looking for the one with a soul that called to him. Finally claiming you, allowing himself to believe he had the right... that was probably the hardest thing he's ever done. I mean... accepting that *anyone* could be his second chance, never mind a gorgeous young man with a strong, open heart like yours... he fought seeing it for a long time. Then your office was invaded and he got so lost... it forced him to finally look at how much he needs you. Your love, your spirit, your strength, everything. Of course now that he's into your body a little bit... going slow in that arena is an even tougher job."

Clay now shifted to Tony's upper arms and shoulders, stroking firmly, and the younger man squirmed for a moment, though he was still grinning softly.

"Mmmm... you'd never know it. He makes patience look so easy..."

"Like I said, he loves all of you. It's not just about the physical act, although as talented as Jethro is... your first time will be burned into your memory for eternity, trust me. When he makes love, he literally *makes* love... creates something you can almost see. You feel it, sense it... smell it like a subtle perfume hanging in the air above the bed. You talk about patience... kid, you won't see the true depth of his patience until you decide you're ready to surrender your body to him completely. It could take hours... hours of touching, teasing, laughing, talking. He'll have you so desperate you'll be crying and pleading... then he'll soothe you and calm you down, kissing you again and again and whispering the most incredible, loving things you've ever heard... and then, when he's sure everything is perfect and you're both at the absolute peak of passion... then he'll finish it. You've never known anything like it, Anthony. That moment when you feel him go still... and then the liquid fire and the rhythm of his pulse shaking you apart from the inside..."

Clay now pressed his warm, oiled fingers around Tony's nipples. The touch, combined with the intense language filling his ears, caused the young man to arch slightly away from the table for a moment and cry out.

"Ahhh! Please... please go easy... I'm really s-sensitive there... and I'm so close..."

"I know. You need to come, just do it... don't hold back, sweetheart... let it happen..."

"Oh... oh God... can't..."

"Yes, you can. You deserve it and you're allowed. Show me how beautiful you are when you come, Anthony... that's it... show me... twist, scream, push your hips up... come, Anthony... let it fly everywhere... cover me in it... you are such a beautiful man..."

"Shitttt..."

It took several minutes for Tony's breathing to calm and drop back closer to a normal rate and while he recovered Clay continued to lightly massage him, gliding over his abs, down to his thighs and back up.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Boy, do I get that difference now... erotic is definitely better."

Clay laughed softly, leaned in and murmured in Tony's ear.

"I usually prefer it... but not always. When we fulfill that promise we made to each other, you'll get to hear a lot of both. I can't wait to find out which one drives your RPM's higher..."

Tony slowly sat up and reached out to touch Clay's cheek, pulling back at the last moment. The other man smiled, gently grasped Tony's fingers and laid them against his face. "Go on. I can see you need to say something."

"I... I don't think it'll be either one."

"Uh-huh. So what *will* it be?"

"I'm just figuring out that what really turns me on is being sure, in my heart and my head... that the person I'm with actually gives a damn about me."

Clay drew Tony's hand down to his lips for a brief kiss and sighed ruefully before responding.

"Me too, kid. Me too..."

***

Clay and Tony had another half hour, spent lightly touching and talking in near whispers, before any of the others felt they could tear themselves away from the remaining trio. Tony evaluated the weight and pace of the footsteps, made a silent guess as to who it was and turned to confirm, smiling when he found he was right.

"A.J..." he murmured happily, stretching his neck up and forward a little when the older man kissed him briefly on the pulse point.

"Anthony. Having a good night so far?"

"Oh yeah. It's been amazing. Intense and draining... but fantastic. I just hope... I've never done this before, so I have no idea if..."

Tony halted, obviously censoring himself, dropped his head and blushed faintly. A.J. chuckled and sought out Tony's eyes with his own intent gaze, drawing the other back to look at him again.

"You're doing fine."

"Thank you." Tony responded with such sincerity and genuine gratitude that A.J. had to swallow to clear the lump from his throat. Clay saw the reaction in the other dom's face and laughed quietly.

"I know. I'm not ashamed to admit it got to me too. He's like nothing I've ever known, that's for sure."

A.J smiled sadly, stroked Clay's face and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"I have, and someday, when you're ready to re-discover that man... I'll give you what you need."

Clay now found a lump of his own blocking off his response, but he didn't try force words past the obstruction, acknowledging that the older dom knew him well enough not to require an answer. "It's alright, Clayton. You know I understand... and I can be as patient as you need me to be."

Turning back to Tony, he took the young man's hand. "Well... is it my turn to discover the wonder that is Anthony DiNozzo?"

"Whatever you ask, sir... I'm willing. I just have to warn you that I've already had three... three tonight. If that's what you want, I may not have anything left..."

"You never know with nights like this, but it probably won't end up going there."

"Ummm... that's what Clayton said when we started and I still ended up doing a pretty accurate impression of Old Faithful."

Both doms laughed as A.J. tugged Tony onto his feet and responded to the concern the young man had expressed.

"Given enough time, four isn't beyond the realm of possibility. You might not produce much more fluid, but the physical and emotional feelings can be just as powerful. More so, sometimes."

"Like I said, this night has been incredible... so anything you want, I'm in."

"Good man. C'mon..." he said, heading for the sofa and pulling Tony gently along. The younger sub hesitated, watching with curiosity as Clay approached a seemingly blank section of wall and pressed a button, dropping a well-camouflaged Murphy bed down to the floor.

"Huh. I guess I just assumed... the last couple times Jethro and I slept on the mats. I thought about there being a bed, but not like that..."

"There's another one still hidden. Harmon I will probably join Clayton at the end of the night and you and Jethro can take the second bed."

Tony blushed lightly once more and grinned as he began to follow A.J.'s lead. "What?"

"I, umm... maybe you could... stay with us instead? I'd... it'd be cool to know what that's like."

"Again, not beyond the realm of possibility. Here..." he offered, gesturing to the couch. "... lay down. That's right... good."

Relaxing deeply, Tony released a long, quiet breath and let his weary eyes slip closed. "Stay just like that. I'll be right back."

Several minutes later, A.J returned with a tray covered with a variety of dishes and bowls. Setting it carefully on the large end table near where Tony's head lay on the arm of the couch, he nudged the other man into sitting up a little and claimed the empty space, resulting in Tony's shoulders and upper back resting across the dom's knees. "You alright with this?"

"Mmmm. It's fine. What're we doing?"

"Indulging your hedonist side a little more. Plus... it's one of my favorite sensual games." He replied, plucking a pineapple chunk from a dish and offering it Tony, who accepted it readily. Once he'd swallowed, he directed a wary expression and a cautious question up at A.J.

"You heard that?"

"We weren't that far apart and you and Clayton weren't using telepathy or anything."

"True. We didn't disturb you did we?"

"No, not at all. I only caught snatches and words here and there. That just happened to be one of them. You were right, you know. It's not a bad thing." He said, feeding Tony a piece of apple coated in cinnamon sugar then licking his own fingers clean. He laughed to himself when he realized the other was avidly watching the process as he chewed. Playing on the interest he saw, A.J.'s next selection was a spoonful of honey. He pulled the utensil back slowly and swiped at a drip on the corner of Tony's mouth with the tip of his pinky. This time, however, he didn't move to do anything about it himself. Eventually, Tony's eyes moved from the finger up to A.J.'s face.

"Can... I mean, do you want me to..."

"I'd love it, but only if you want to."

Tony nodded and the older man laid the digit against the sub's lips. Tony's tongue flicked out briefly and stroked over the sticky flesh. The action was followed swiftly by a sub-vocal moan. "Anthony?"

"Wow... just... wow. More?"

Of course." A.J. chuckled. Tony barely took the finger between his lips, but it was clear he was enjoying the sensation, reluctantly surrendering it only when he could taste no more sweetness.

"I... I've never felt anything like that. The taste was so weird... but I really liked it."

"I could tell. You like chocolate too, I hope?"

Tony's eyes lit up.

"Sometimes, more than life itself."

"Dark or milk?"

"Dark. It's stronger, deeper... got more character than the lighter kind. Quality milk chocolate is good if I'm just in a mood for a really rich treat... or something with a filling like raspberry or cherry. It's almost like it *needs* another flavor to make it worth the effort. Milk is for bad days... when I'm feeling unsure or I need stress relief. Dark, though... dark chocolate's good enough to stand up on it's own. When I shine at work and I know I was confident and strong, I pick up something dark. It's a reward. Like... I have to earn the right to eat it."

"Well... it's definitely a dark chocolate night, then."

Tony thought for a long moment before he accepted.

"Okay. I am kinda proud of myself."

"You damn well should be." A.J. agreed, popping a small square of dark Belgian into Tony's mouth. "I know you don't see it yet, but your luck in finding a master dom like Jethro goes both ways. He's needed you for so long, Anthony... needed someone worthy of his formal claim and his mark, the time and love he puts into training... worthy of holding onto forever. He's felt you were that person for close to a year, now. He just couldn't get past the fear that if you found out about this part of his life you'd run from him."

Tony turned his gaze down and responded very softly.

"I almost did."

"Tell me." The older man said, laying a gentle hand on Tony's head, the fingers sifting through his hair.

"The night he started showing me my place in all this, telling me how things worked and what responsibilities we have to each other... I was standing outside his house and trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. The fear was so damn strong, though."

"You trust him."

"Most of the time, without question."

"Then why?"

"In the office that afternoon... he wrapped a hand around my bicep and all of a sudden I could only hear him. The background office stuff, all the noise and music that usually fill up my head... they were just gone. Then he said close my eyes and I didn't hesitate. I just... did it."

"Falling."

"Yeah." Tony confirmed, taking a spoon of vanilla pudding dusted with nutmeg and pausing to swallow before he continued. "It totally freaked me out that I gave up control so easily. I didn't know it was supposed to be a good thing. That night I was back-pedaling, about to take off for good, when he opened the door. He said he knew how I was feeling, but I had a choice to make. I asked him to explain that sensation... the falling, but he wouldn't say anything else and I knew if I wanted my questions answered I had to choose to go inside. So I did."

"Regrets?"

"Not a single one. He told me everything I needed to know... and he made me believe that he loved me and would never hurt or force me. It's always my choice."

"That's right."

"I made a good one." Tony said quietly, but with conviction. "I got Jethro... and he gave me the gift of all of you. Couldn't ask for a much better return on the faith I put in, could I?"

"We're the ones who got the gift, Anthony. If it kills me, I'll see to it that you get that through your head someday."

"You can crack me in the back of the skull, like Jethro does. He'd probably tell you it doesn't work, though..."

A.J laughed and reached for the spoon again, but Tony minutely shook his head.

"Fingers again?"

"Please..."

"You are amazing..." he replied, bringing the dish of honey towards him instead. Dipping two fingers shallowly into the dish, he fed them to Tony one at a time, uncaring of where any drips landed as he was fairly certain he'd get to be heavily involved in any eventual clean up. "Slow... go slow, now... good... so beautiful... God, I'd pay to be there the first time you go down on Jethro... he may not survive this mouth."

Tony blushed again, but he didn't retreat or let his anxiety dictate to him, though he felt the need to express it.

"I hope you understand I'm not trying to seduce you, sir, or make any moves I'm not supposed to. This just feels right and natural and I... Jethro said if I felt comfortable I was allowed to do whatever I could find the courage for..."

"Shhh. Easy. Of course you can. Take your time... anything you'd like to try is acceptable."

Sitting up, Tony half-turned and scanned the tray quickly then looked back to the dish A.J. still held.

"You don't like honey?"

"I do... but not as much as some of the other choices."

"Okay... apple?"

"You choose, Anthony." A.J. reproved mildly.

"Right..."

He gently took the plate with the honey and replaced it, picking up a bowl of cherry pie filling. Scooping out a small amount, he shyly offered it to the admiral, who accepted it with a relaxed smile. Tony then swept the residue off his chin and fed him that as well.

"Mmmm. One of my favorites. I was hoping you'd take that one."

Tony opened his mouth to reply, but found no words available, so instead he bit his lip lightly and let his eyes roam slowly over A.J.'s face. Sensing a bit of encouragement was needed, he spoke up in a gruff, heated voice that he believed reflected what they were both feeling. "You want something, go for it."

The young man shivered, but he took the advice and leaned forward, kissing the dom tentatively. When an arm came around his waist, holding him in place, he hummed in surprise and pleasure and pulled back a little, breathing faster. A.J. looked from the bowl to the tray and Tony obligingly put the cherries back, barely able to tear his gaze away long enough to be sure it wouldn't drop to the floor instead. When the dish was safely placed, he dove in for another kiss, which A.J eagerly returned, his arm involuntarily tightening across Tony's lower back. It was several seconds before either man retreated this time.

"Wow... you are one hell of a kisser, sir."

"You're no slouch, yourself, Anthony. Not by a long shot..."

Abruptly, Tony realized that, just as A.J had predicted, his body was preparing for one more orgasm. He turned his face away briefly, gathering his courage, then dared to peek and find out if the other man was in the same state. His suspicion confirmed, he frowned and began to apologize, but the admiral forestalled it.

"Ah-ah. What did I tell you earlier?"

"Anything I'm brave enough to try is okay."

"So what is it you want?"

"I... to touch you. To do what the three of you were doing to each other before."

"We can definitely handle that. Do you need guidance or would you rather just explore on your own?"

"Ummm... I understand the mechanics, but... knowing what you like would help."

"Other than a firm touch and a willingness to talk to me... it's all good."

"What do you want me to say?" Tony whispered close to A.J.'s ear as his hand slid hesitantly up the other man's thigh and into his lap, pressing and rubbing. He gasped and his hand stuttered momentarily when A.J. began to stroke him as well, but he recovered swiftly.

"Tell me how it feels, Anthony... how *I* feel..."

"Hot... and damp with sweat... bigger every second... I can actually feel the changes, just like when I masturbate... that is so incredible..."

"More, sweet boy... more words..."

"Mmmm.... you... you're leaking so much... makes you slick... makes my hand move easier... I think you're... you're almost ready to..."

"I am. Just a little faster... that's it... so perfect..."

Both men found release seconds apart, though, also as he'd predicted, A.J. produced far more than Tony's body was able to. The young man couldn't find the energy to care or be embarrassed, however, as he shook and panted in the admiral's embrace.

"My God..." A.J. finally breathed against Tony's forehead, "... you are utterly intoxicating. Jethro and I are definitely negotiating a private session with his sub sometime in the near future."

"You too? I'm gonna end up in the hospital..." Tony joked.

"Clayton asked did he?"

"It was more like a demand... but I'm okay with that. He needs me."

"I imagine he does. He's been very lonely. I'm proud of you, Anthony. We all are. You did so well tonight... open, strong, willing to learn and try... everything Jethro asked of you and more."

"I did my best... that's all." He answered sleepily. A.J. laughed gently, slid his arm under Tony's legs and rose to his feet, cradling the exhausted man in his arms. As he moved toward the wall with the beds, he found Harm and Jethro just releasing the second one. Once the covers were pulled back, he tucked a now soundly sleeping Tony underneath them and turned to his own sub.

"Are you okay sharing just with Clay tonight? Tony asked..."

"Of course, love. Go ahead. See you in the morning."

A.J. hugged him long and fiercely before releasing him to slide in next to Clay. Turning, he took up the space Jethro had left him on the near side of Tony, settled the blankets around him to his satisfaction and closed his eyes.

***

Clay and Tony had another half hour, spent lightly touching and talking in near whispers, before any of the others felt they could tear themselves away from the remaining trio. Tony evaluated the weight and pace of the footsteps, made a silent guess as to who it was and turned to confirm, smiling when he found he was right.

"A.J..." he murmured happily, stretching his neck up and forward a little when the older man kissed him briefly on the pulse point.

"Anthony. Having a good night so far?"

"Oh yeah. It's been amazing. Intense and draining... but fantastic. I just hope... I've never done this before, so I have no idea if..."

Tony halted, obviously censoring himself, dropped his head and blushed faintly. A.J. chuckled and sought out Tony's eyes with his own intent gaze, drawing the other back to look at him again.

"You're doing fine."

"Thank you." Tony responded with such sincerity and genuine gratitude that A.J. had to swallow to clear the lump from his throat. Clay saw the reaction in the other dom's face and laughed quietly.

"I know. I'm not ashamed to admit it got to me too. He's like nothing I've ever known, that's for sure."

A.J smiled sadly, stroked Clay's face and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"I have, and someday, when you're ready to re-discover that man... I'll give you what you need."

Clay now found a lump of his own blocking off his response, but he didn't try force words past the obstruction, acknowledging that the older dom knew him well enough not to require an answer. "It's alright, Clayton. You know I understand... and I can be as patient as you need me to be."

Turning back to Tony, he took the young man's hand. "Well... is it my turn to discover the wonder that is Anthony DiNozzo?"

"Whatever you ask, sir... I'm willing. I just have to warn you that I've already had three... three tonight. If that's what you want, I may not have anything left..."

"You never know with nights like this, but it probably won't end up going there."

"Ummm... that's what Clayton said when we started and I still ended up doing a pretty accurate impression of Old Faithful."

Both doms laughed as A.J. tugged Tony onto his feet and responded to the concern the young man had expressed.

"Given enough time, four isn't beyond the realm of possibility. You might not produce much more fluid, but the physical and emotional feelings can be just as powerful. More so, sometimes."

"Like I said, this night has been incredible... so anything you want, I'm in."

"Good man. C'mon..." he said, heading for the sofa and pulling Tony gently along. The younger sub hesitated, watching with curiosity as Clay approached a seemingly blank section of wall and pressed a button, dropping a well-camouflaged Murphy bed down to the floor.

"Huh. I guess I just assumed... the last couple times Jethro and I slept on the mats. I thought about there being a bed, but not like that..."

"There's another one still hidden. Harmon I will probably join Clayton at the end of the night and you and Jethro can take the second bed."

Tony blushed lightly once more and grinned as he began to follow A.J.'s lead. "What?"

"I, umm... maybe you could... stay with us instead? I'd... it'd be cool to know what that's like."

"Again, not beyond the realm of possibility. Here..." he offered, gesturing to the couch. "... lay down. That's right... good."

Relaxing deeply, Tony released a long, quiet breath and let his weary eyes slip closed. "Stay just like that. I'll be right back."

Several minutes later, A.J returned with a tray covered with a variety of dishes and bowls. Setting it carefully on the large end table near where Tony's head lay on the arm of the couch, he nudged the other man into sitting up a little and claimed the empty space, resulting in Tony's shoulders and upper back resting across the dom's knees. "You alright with this?"

"Mmmm. It's fine. What're we doing?"

"Indulging your hedonist side a little more. Plus... it's one of my favorite sensual games." He replied, plucking a pineapple chunk from a dish and offering it Tony, who accepted it readily. Once he'd swallowed, he directed a wary expression and a cautious question up at A.J.

"You heard that?"

"We weren't that far apart and you and Clayton weren't using telepathy or anything."

"True. We didn't disturb you did we?"

"No, not at all. I only caught snatches and words here and there. That just happened to be one of them. You were right, you know. It's not a bad thing." He said, feeding Tony a piece of apple coated in cinnamon sugar then licking his own fingers clean. He laughed to himself when he realized the other was avidly watching the process as he chewed. Playing on the interest he saw, A.J.'s next selection was a spoonful of honey. He pulled the utensil back slowly and swiped at a drip on the corner of Tony's mouth with the tip of his pinky. This time, however, he didn't move to do anything about it himself. Eventually, Tony's eyes moved from the finger up to A.J.'s face.

"Can... I mean, do you want me to..."

"I'd love it, but only if you want to."

Tony nodded and the older man laid the digit against the sub's lips. Tony's tongue flicked out briefly and stroked over the sticky flesh. The action was followed swiftly by a sub-vocal moan. "Anthony?"

"Wow... just... wow. More?"

Of course." A.J. chuckled. Tony barely took the finger between his lips, but it was clear he was enjoying the sensation, reluctantly surrendering it only when he could taste no more sweetness.

"I... I've never felt anything like that. The taste was so weird... but I really liked it."

"I could tell. You like chocolate too, I hope?"

Tony's eyes lit up.

"Sometimes, more than life itself."

"Dark or milk?"

"Dark. It's stronger, deeper... got more character than the lighter kind. Quality milk chocolate is good if I'm just in a mood for a really rich treat... or something with a filling like raspberry or cherry. It's almost like it *needs* another flavor to make it worth the effort. Milk is for bad days... when I'm feeling unsure or I need stress relief. Dark, though... dark chocolate's good enough to stand up on it's own. When I shine at work and I know I was confident and strong, I pick up something dark. It's a reward. Like... I have to earn the right to eat it."

"Well... it's definitely a dark chocolate night, then."

Tony thought for a long moment before he accepted.

"Okay. I am kinda proud of myself."

"You damn well should be." A.J. agreed, popping a small square of dark Belgian into Tony's mouth. "I know you don't see it yet, but your luck in finding a master dom like Jethro goes both ways. He's needed you for so long, Anthony... needed someone worthy of his formal claim and his mark, the time and love he puts into training... worthy of holding onto forever. He's felt you were that person for close to a year, now. He just couldn't get past the fear that if you found out about this part of his life you'd run from him."

Tony turned his gaze down and responded very softly.

"I almost did."

"Tell me." The older man said, laying a gentle hand on Tony's head, the fingers sifting through his hair.

"The night he started showing me my place in all this, telling me how things worked and what responsibilities we have to each other... I was standing outside his house and trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. The fear was so damn strong, though."

"You trust him."

"Most of the time, without question."

"Then why?"

"In the office that afternoon... he wrapped a hand around my bicep and all of a sudden I could only hear him. The background office stuff, all the noise and music that usually fill up my head... they were just gone. Then he said close my eyes and I didn't hesitate. I just... did it."

"Falling."

"Yeah." Tony confirmed, taking a spoon of vanilla pudding dusted with nutmeg and pausing to swallow before he continued. "It totally freaked me out that I gave up control so easily. I didn't know it was supposed to be a good thing. That night I was back-pedaling, about to take off for good, when he opened the door. He said he knew how I was feeling, but I had a choice to make. I asked him to explain that sensation... the falling, but he wouldn't say anything else and I knew if I wanted my questions answered I had to choose to go inside. So I did."

"Regrets?"

"Not a single one. He told me everything I needed to know... and he made me believe that he loved me and would never hurt or force me. It's always my choice."

"That's right."

"I made a good one." Tony said quietly, but with conviction. "I got Jethro... and he gave me the gift of all of you. Couldn't ask for a much better return on the faith I put in, could I?"

"We're the ones who got the gift, Anthony. If it kills me, I'll see to it that you get that through your head someday."

"You can crack me in the back of the skull, like Jethro does. He'd probably tell you it doesn't work, though..."

A.J laughed and reached for the spoon again, but Tony minutely shook his head.

"Fingers again?"

"Please..."

"You are amazing..." he replied, bringing the dish of honey towards him instead. Dipping two fingers shallowly into the dish, he fed them to Tony one at a time, uncaring of where any drips landed as he was fairly certain he'd get to be heavily involved in any eventual clean up. "Slow... go slow, now... good... so beautiful... God, I'd pay to be there the first time you go down on Jethro... he may not survive this mouth."

Tony blushed again, but he didn't retreat or let his anxiety dictate to him, though he felt the need to express it.

"I hope you understand I'm not trying to seduce you, sir, or make any moves I'm not supposed to. This just feels right and natural and I... Jethro said if I felt comfortable I was allowed to do whatever I could find the courage for..."

"Shhh. Easy. Of course you can. Take your time... anything you'd like to try is acceptable."

Sitting up, Tony half-turned and scanned the tray quickly then looked back to the dish A.J. still held.

"You don't like honey?"

"I do... but not as much as some of the other choices."

"Okay... apple?"

"You choose, Anthony." A.J. reproved mildly.

"Right..."

He gently took the plate with the honey and replaced it, picking up a bowl of cherry pie filling. Scooping out a small amount, he shyly offered it to the admiral, who accepted it with a relaxed smile. Tony then swept the residue off his chin and fed him that as well.

"Mmmm. One of my favorites. I was hoping you'd take that one."

Tony opened his mouth to reply, but found no words available, so instead he bit his lip lightly and let his eyes roam slowly over A.J.'s face. Sensing a bit of encouragement was needed, he spoke up in a gruff, heated voice that he believed reflected what they were both feeling. "You want something, go for it."

The young man shivered, but he took the advice and leaned forward, kissing the dom tentatively. When an arm came around his waist, holding him in place, he hummed in surprise and pleasure and pulled back a little, breathing faster. A.J. looked from the bowl to the tray and Tony obligingly put the cherries back, barely able to tear his gaze away long enough to be sure it wouldn't drop to the floor instead. When the dish was safely placed, he dove in for another kiss, which A.J eagerly returned, his arm involuntarily tightening across Tony's lower back. It was several seconds before either man retreated this time.

"Wow... you are one hell of a kisser, sir."

"You're no slouch, yourself, Anthony. Not by a long shot..."

Abruptly, Tony realized that, just as A.J had predicted, his body was preparing for one more orgasm. He turned his face away briefly, gathering his courage, then dared to peek and find out if the other man was in the same state. His suspicion confirmed, he frowned and began to apologize, but the admiral forestalled it.

"Ah-ah. What did I tell you earlier?"

"Anything I'm brave enough to try is okay."

"So what is it you want?"

"I... to touch you. To do what the three of you were doing to each other before."

"We can definitely handle that. Do you need guidance or would you rather just explore on your own?"

"Ummm... I understand the mechanics, but... knowing what you like would help."

"Other than a firm touch and a willingness to talk to me... it's all good."

"What do you want me to say?" Tony whispered close to A.J.'s ear as his hand slid hesitantly up the other man's thigh and into his lap, pressing and rubbing. He gasped and his hand stuttered momentarily when A.J. began to stroke him as well, but he recovered swiftly.

"Tell me how it feels, Anthony... how *I* feel..."

"Hot... and damp with sweat... bigger every second... I can actually feel the changes, just like when I masturbate... that is so incredible..."

"More, sweet boy... more words..."

"Mmmm.... you... you're leaking so much... makes you slick... makes my hand move easier... I think you're... you're almost ready to..."

"I am. Just a little faster... that's it... so perfect..."

Both men found release seconds apart, though, also as he'd predicted, A.J. produced far more than Tony's body was able to. The young man couldn't find the energy to care or be embarrassed, however, as he shook and panted in the admiral's embrace.

"My God..." A.J. finally breathed against Tony's forehead, "... you are utterly intoxicating. Jethro and I are definitely negotiating a private session with his sub sometime in the near future."

"You too? I'm gonna end up in the hospital..." Tony joked.

"Clayton asked did he?"

"It was more like a demand... but I'm okay with that. He needs me."

"I imagine he does. He's been very lonely. I'm proud of you, Anthony. We all are. You did so well tonight... open, strong, willing to learn and try... everything Jethro asked of you and more."

"I did my best... that's all." He answered sleepily. A.J. laughed gently, slid his arm under Tony's legs and rose to his feet, cradling the exhausted man in his arms. As he moved toward the wall with the beds, he found Harm and Jethro just releasing the second one. Once the covers were pulled back, he tucked a now soundly sleeping Tony underneath them and turned to his own sub.

"Are you okay sharing just with Clay tonight? Tony asked..."

"Of course, love. Go ahead. See you in the morning."

A.J. hugged him long and fiercely before releasing him to slide in next to Clay. Turning, he took up the space Jethro had left him on the near side of Tony, settled the blankets around him to his satisfaction and closed his eyes.

***

Next story in series - Overcoming.

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