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Title: Too Shy
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Jimmy Palmer/Tim McGee
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5, 12_stories
Prompt: 10, Life
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Jimmy Palmer or Tim McGee, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Tim leaned back in his chair, trying not to stare at Jimmy across the table. They'd both enjoyed dinner, and done a great deal of talking while they ate. Now, they each had a glass of wine in front of them, and the talk seemed to have wound down.
All he could think about at the moment was how badly he wanted to kiss Jimmy. It seemed strange to feel that way about another man, but he was starting to get used to it. After all, Jimmy wasn't the first man he'd been attracted to in his lifetime.
But this was more than just attraction, Tim was sure of it. What he felt for Jimmy wasn't just a passing fling. He truly cared about this man, as odd as it might feel for him to think of another man in a romantic way. And in some ways, it didn't feel strange at all.
What did it matter if he fell in love with a man or a woman? Just because someone had the same anatomy as his own didn't mean that he couldn't love them -- or desire them. He was starting to feel that his desire for Jimmy was more natural than any he'd ever felt for a female.
How could anyone not be attracted to Jimmy? Those gorgeous eyes, that devastating smile, those cute dimples -- and that incredible body, Tim told himself, surreptitiously letting his eyes roam over Jimmy's slender frame.
Could Jimmy tell that he was being studied? Tim looked away, feeling a heated blush rise to his cheeks. He didn't want to seem rude, or to be caught staring at the other man -- but he couldn't help looking. He felt as though he'd never really gotten a good close look at Jimmy before.
"I like your apartment." Jimmy's voice broke into TIm's thoughts, almost startling him. He'd been so intent on thinking about his feelings for the other man that he'd hardly realized he was being studied in the same way that he was perusing the man sitting opposite him.
"What? Oh, thanks," he said, blushing again. "I kind of thought it might be too .... well, too nerdy. It's not like I have a lot of people over here, so I don't exactly decorate for company." It was a lame explanation as to why his place was full of video games and magazines, but it worked.
"There's nothing wrong with that," Jimmy told him, his tone conciliatory. "A guy's home should be a place where he can relax and feel comfortable. My place is full of books and movies, and a lot of people have made fun of that. But it's what I enjoy."
"That's what it's like being a bachelor, isn't it?" Tim agreed with a laugh. "You get to keep whatever you want in your own home. Guys who are married have to deal with a lot of things that I'd rather not put up with. That's why I've stayed single for so long."
"I've always thought I would spend my whole life being single," Jimmy said softly, his gaze focused on Tim's face. "That was really the main reason why I got engaged, even though I had a feeling it wasn't going to work out. I just didn't want to be all by myself any more."
"You shouldn't have to be," Tim answered, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. "You're an amazing guy, Jimmy. You're cute, and smart, and funny, and sexy, and ...." He let the words trail off, the blush returning to his cheeks.
"Nobody's ever said that kind of thing to me in my entire life," Jimmy murmured, his voice soft and husky. "I like hearing it, even if I don't think it's true. And you know something, Tim? Those are exactly the same things I think when I look at you."
"You do?" Now it was Tim's turn to look as surprised as Jimmy had a moment ago when he'd first heard what Tim had said. "I don't see myself like that at all. My whole life, I've always been the geeky guy that people made fun of. 'Sexy' isn't a word I'd use to describe who I am."
"You'd better get used to hearing it, if you're going to spend time with me," Jimmy told him. "Because I think you're one of the sexiest guys I've ever seen. I wish I'd had the nerve to say that to you a long time ago. I feel like we've wasted a lot of time."
"Maybe I wouldn't have been ready to hear it before," Tim admitted, finally looking Jimmy directly in the eye. "I've spent my whole life thinking that my attraction to guys was something I should keep hidden. If you had said something like that to me before, I might have run away."
"Because it came from me, or would you have run away from that being said by any guy?" Jimmy asked, his tone very low and serious. "I'd kind of like to think that you've been attracted to me just as long as I have to you, and that we both were just too shy to say anything."
"I'd have been scared off if any guy had said that to me," Tim admitted, not wanting Jimmy to think that there had ever been a time when Tim wouldn't have found him attractive. "And yes, I've always had an attraction to you. I've just never been brave enough to act on what I felt."
"And now you are," Jimmy said softly, putting down his empty wineglass and reaching for Tim's hand. "If it's any consolation, I kept asking myself if I should hint around a little, but I never had the nerve either. If I hadn't run into you in the park, I might never have worked up the courage."
"I'm glad you did," Tim murmured, curling his fingers around Jimmy's. He'd never wanted anything so badly in his entire life as he wanted to lean across the table and kiss Jimmy right now, but something made him hold back. Maybe it was too soon.
Tim gave himself a mental shake, annoyed with his mind for balking at what he really wanted to do. That was the kind of thinking that had made him wait until now to say anything to Jimmy; he couldn't keep taking that attitude, not if he wanted this to move forward.
Slowly, he rose to his feet, leaning across the table and keeping his gaze focused on Jimmy's face. The other man was looking up at him, his lips slightly parted; it seemed like the most normal thing in the world to brush his lips against the softness of Jimmy's mouth.
The kiss became more heated, both men rising to their feet. They broke away from each other for just a few moments as they both moved around the table simultaneously to stand right in front of each other, gazing into each other's eyes before their lips met again.
He wanted to stand here and kiss Jimmy Palmer for the rest of his life, Tim thought as his arms went around the other man's slim waist to pull him close. Nothing had ever felt this right; it didn't matter what anyone else might think, this was exactly where he belonged.
Jimmy's hands were in his hair, then those thin arms were winding around his neck. Tim had to resist the urge to move his hands down Jimmy's back, to mold their bodies even closer together than they already were, to touch Jimmy in places where his hands might not be welcome yet.
When they broke away from each other this time, they were both panting for breath; Jimmy's eyes were unfocused, hazy and dreamy, and Tim was sure that his gaze looked just the same. He felt as though he was sleepwalking, having a wonderful dream that he didn't want to wake up from.
"I've spent my life wanting to find somebody like you," he finally managed to murmur, his voice soft and breathless. "And now that I have, I'm kind of scared that either you're going to melt away and end up just being some fantasy I've had, or that I'll scare you off."
"You couldn't do anything to scare me away, Tim," Jimmy told him, his voice just as breathless as Tim's own had been. "I've waited for you all my life, too. I was beginning to think that I'd never find you -- until I started working here and I knew right from the first that you were the one."
"You should never have been engaged to that girl," Tim said, a hint of reproach in his voice. "That made me think that you'd never be interested in me, that you were untouchable. I should have known better, shouldn't I? And I shouldn't have been so shy."
"I wouldn't want to change a single thing about you," Jimmy said with a laugh. "I like the fact htat you're kind of shy. So am I. It makes us fit together pretty well, doesn't it? And for what it's worth, you're right. I should never have even dated her, much less gotten engaged."
"You can forget her," Tim told him, his tone firm. "Neither one of us needs to think about anybody who's ever been in our lives before. We just need to think about the future -- and who's in our lives now. No need to look back when we have so much to look forward to."
"For the rest of our lives," Jimmy whispered, raising a hand to trace the outline of Tim's lips. "That's good advice, Tim. I'm going to take it. This is moving kind of fast -- but I don't mind that. I think we're both trying to make up for lost time."
"We both spent too much of our lives trying to make ourselves what other people wanted us to be," Tim said, his voice gaining strength. "I'm tired of doing that, Jimmy. I want to live my life the way that makes me happy. And that life includes you."
"It better include me," Jimmy said with a soft laugh. "If it didn't, I'd be awfully disappointed." As their lips met again for another heated kiss, Tim had the definite feeling that whatever might happen in their future, disappointment wasn't something that either of them would feel.***