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Title: Therapy
By: nancy
Pairing: Abby/Kate
Fandom: NCIS/JAG
Rating: R
Summary: Kate finally gives Abby the words she wants to hear and finds it to be the best therapy of all.***
Kate wasn't drunk. Not really. She was very, very tipsy, but not drunk. Which was more than she could say for Tony. Smirking at him, she announced, "Yeah!"Blinking at her, Tony asked, "Huh? Yeah what?"
"You're drunk," Kate replied with great certainty.
"So're you."
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Nuh-uh!"
"Yeah huh!"
"You have to be kidding me."
Kate froze at the all-too-familiar voice and looked over to see Gibbs staring at the both of them with a combination of horror and amusement. Both faded quickly and she was left looking at resigned. But hey. It wasn't like they didn't have an excuse. The case had gone bad in a really big way and the two petty officers who'd been held hostage had died. There'd been no comfort in the death of their captors, even though Kate had personally gotten one of the bastards between the eyes.
She frowned at the thought and apologized to the slightly blurry Gibbs, "I shouldn't call you that."
"Call me what?" he asked, frowning back.
"A bastard. You're not. Bastards are, are those bastards from today. Those heartless, motherless, black-souled, um, bastards. You're not that, Gibbs, honest," Kate explained earnestly.
A faint smile twitched across his lips, also gone quickly, and he said, "Thanks, Kate. Hold that thought."
Sensing that 'therapy,' as Tony had called it, was about to be cut short, Kate took a long drink from the Jack Daniels that Tony had somehow had hidden in his drawer.
"Hey! Share that!" Tony protested, grabbing the bottle.
She didn't bother to tug it back, just sighed deeply and rested her cheek against his shoulder. It was a nice shoulder; warm and strong and comfy. Nuzzling it, she asked, "Hey, Tony?"
There was a gulp and a gasp as the liquor was drunk, then Tony replied, "Yeah?"
"Think I'm just gonna take a nap. You don't mind, right?" Kate said, more than asked.
"No you don't, Kate," Abby's voice contradicted. "If you fall asleep, I'll never get you into bed."
Kate blinked up at her lover, then at Gibbs and accused, "You called Abby!"
"Can't put one over on you, Kate," Gibbs answered, smirking.
Heaving a sigh, Kate wagged a finger at Abby and promised, "I can walk so."
Abby snorted.
Affronted, Kate glanced at Tony for support, but his head had lolled back against the conference room wall and he was sound asleep. Feeling deserted, she shoved at him and he slumped to the side, waking with a snort and surprised mumble.
Two sets of arms pulled Kate to her feet and she staggered into Abby's arms, which automatically went around her, holding fast. Resting her cheek on Abby's chest, even though she had to bend a little to get it there, Kate sighed in contentment. "This is much nicer than Tony's shoulder."
There was a strangled sound from above her head and she heard a masculine chuckle from behind, but she was just too comfy to care.
Abby bussed a quick kiss to Kate's temple and asked, "You okay with him, Gibbs?"
"Oh yeah," Gibbs replied, then grunted, as if under strain. "I almost wish he hadn't started working out so religiously though."
"I'll be sure and tell him that tomorrow," she teased. "Hey. I'm never going to get sleeping beauty here home. We're going to crash in the lab."
"Be sure and put up the Do Not Disturb sign," Gibbs warned.
There was something wrong with the whole situation, but Kate couldn't rightly figure out what. Maybe she was a little drunk after all.
"No problemo. I have a nice little surveillance ducking technique called turning off the cameras."
"Abby..."
"Chill Gibbs, I'm not really going to. I'm just going to settle her in and work through the night. And have a bucket ready."
He chuckled again and Kate made a fuzzy mental note to tell him he should do it more often. He had a really nice laugh, soft and warm and soft.
"Kate? Baby? Can you stand up straight while we walk to the lab?"
Frowning, Kate replied, "I am standing up straight."
"Not with your head on my boob you're not."
Oh. Good point.
"Try opening your eyes."
A-ha! That was why it was so dark! She'd been starting to wonder why no one had turned on the lights. It took another few seconds, but Kate opened her eyes and discovered that Abby was right. She was slanted. Comfortable, but slanted. Straightening up wasn't nearly as comfy, but appearances had to be maintained. With a sigh, she slid an arm around Abby's waist and asked plaintively, "Better?"
"Aw baby, don't look at me like that," Abby protested. Brushing long, elegant fingers over Kate's cheek, she promised, "When we get home tomorrow morning, I'll give you all the cuddling you can stand. More, probably, since you're gonna have the mother of all hangovers. Did the two of you polish off that entire bottle?"
"Medicinal purposes," Kate informed her seriously.
Abby grinned and kissed her quickly, then aimed them for the door.
It took fierce concentration on Kate's part, but she managed to make it all the way to the elevator and then to the cot Abby kept hidden in the major walk-in closet/storage room without falling down, but she managed it. Didn't even stumble, of which she was very proud. Collapsing onto the cot, she gripped the sides tight and gasped, "I think I'm drunk!"
Abby smiled down at her tenderly. "Really. What gave it away?"
"The room's spinning!"
"No it's not baby. Close your eyes. That's it. Imagine you're on a slow, gentle merry-go-round. Horses are firm and steady, even if they're moving. You can hear the music right?"
"When did Coldplay start getting Merry-Go-Round air play?"
"Hush. Go with it."
Sighing in contentment, Kate nodded and let Abby's voice soothe her into the soft darkness of forgetfulness known as sleep.
* * * *
Abby heard the first groan and hopped off the stool to rush to Kate's side. She maneuvered the bucket into place just in time for Kate's first heave and rubbed her lover's back through the agonizing motions.
"I'm dying," Kate moaned. "And when I'm dead, I'm kicking Tony's ass straight to Hell."
Abby grinned broadly and kept her voice soft as she observed, "You must be sober if you're threatening Tony."
"Getting there. Water?"
The pathetic pleading tone went straight to Abby's heart. She went back into the lab to get a bottle of water and drugs, and returned to the sight of Kate sitting upright with a death-grip on the bucket. Holding out the water silently, she watched as Kate tentatively took a swallow, looked like she might puke again, and then got a handle on the nausea.
"Advil."
Abby held out four, which Kate swiped and washed down with another swallow of water.
"Christ. My head," Kate gasped, eyes closing.
"You want to try and head home?"
"Yeah. Fresh bucket though."
Abby restrained a snort, but barely.
"I heard that."
"Heard what?" Abby protested innocently.
The walk to the car was silent and she was relieved that Kate really was steady on her feet. The other woman was slender, but packed unbelievable muscle mass. There was no way that Abby, with her anti-gym tendencies, could carry or drag her up any stairs. Kate fell asleep on the ride to their apartment and Abby kept a hand on her lover's thigh. It was comforting, to them both, she suspected.
This case had been the Case From Hell, no doubt about that. There had been a hostage situation at a clinic on the base. It had started out as a robbery, but one of the nurses had pressed the silent alarm. Gibbs and Co. had been on the scene with the MPs and doing their best to get things under control, but it had just spiraled with incredible speed and violence. Gibbs had held a note of pride in his voice as he'd told Abby that Kate had taken one of the hostages down personally, even as his tone held sadness that it hadn't been resolved before any hostages could be killed.
Her Kate had personally saved four nurses and two doctors by killing that bastard, according to Gibbs, even if she hadn't been supposed to be that close to the scene.
It scared the crap out of Abby, knowing how close Kate came to death, how she sometimes courted it to save innocent lives. There wasn't a compromising or fearful bone in the other woman's body, which wasn't always a good thing. Most of their compromises came from Abby, but to keep the woman who was everything she could ever want, well, it was a small price.
Gently shaking Kate's shoulder after pulling into her parking spot got a snort and a sleepy, "We home?"
"Yeah, baby, we're home. Let's put you to bed."
"Shower. A gallon of water to drink. Toothbrush. Then bed."
Abby smiled her understanding and climbed out of her car. Kate had moved into Abby's apartment two months after the cordial break-up with McGee. The women had been flirting for months before that, almost the entire tenure of Kate's time at NCIS, so it hadn't been a big step to cross that final line.
Inside, Abby just shook her head as Kate stripped on the way to the bathroom. When the other woman was fully sober and not still shell-shocked, she'd have a hissy-fit, finding the filthy clothes on the rug, but Abby wasn't going to take time to pick them up. Instead, she stripped right behind Kate, following her into the bathroom, peeing while Kate warmed up the shower, then stepping into the tub while Kate took her turn.
The hot water felt great on her back and she unceremoniously yanked the elastics from her hair, hissing as some of the black strands came out with them.
"You're gonna go bald, doing that," Kate commented, darkly amused.
Facing her lover, Abby just silently held open her arms. For a long time, Kate stayed outside the tub, clearly debating whether or not to accept the comfort that Abby was so willing to give. They did this dance every time there was a bad turn to a case. In the beginning, Kate had refused the comfort outright, unused to sharing her grief. Abby had respected the distance and, eventually, Kate had sought her out. Now, seven months after they'd become lovers, Kate more often than not accepted the cuddles and pets on the first try.
Finally, Kate stepped one foot in the tub, then the other. She went into Abby's arms and wrapped her own around the taller woman's back, clinging to her. Abby moved them more directly under the spray, keeping Kate's back warm with the water, and her front warm from being pressed against Abby's own body. The sobs came with surprising ease this time. Kate's face was pressed to Abby's throat as she shook with the silent, but crushing, guilt that she hadn't been able to do more, that she hadn't saved everyone.
Abby just held on tight, riding out the storm in silence, knowing that Kate needed the quiet to get her thoughts in order. They were very different in that aspect. Abby would be screaming her pain out, railing against the injustice and fucking evil that took lives before they were meant to be taken, and in such a pointless way. Kate, however, kept it inside. She kept too much inside for Abby's comfort, but they were working on that and it would take time.
Drawing in a shuddery breath, Kate stepped back, presenting a woebegone face to Abby and asked, "Do you still love me?"
"Oh baby, of course I still love you," Abby whispered, cupping her face. "I always will, I promise."
Kate leaned in for a hard, desperate kiss and Abby responded eagerly. She knew it wasn't going to go anywhere, it never did after a fatal shooting, but the intimate contact was something she always welcomed. It was a longer make-out session than usual and Abby was more than pleasantly breathless by the end of it, she was happily tingling and moist down south from more than just the shower.
When Kate pulled back, there was clear regret in her eyes, alongside a small dose of humor. "You must really love me. I just threw up not an hour ago and you kissed me anyhow."
Abby laughed merrily and said, "One of these days, you're going to believe me, you know."
"I do, Abby, I believe you and...I love you too."
The soft words nearly stopped Abby's heart. She swallowed unsteadily. It was the first time those words had passed Kate's lips since they'd gotten together.
"I'm sorry...to make you wait so long, it's just..." Kate's words drifted off as she searched for how to explain. "Everyone I love...I'm a jinx, Abby, pure and simple. I always have been. I can't keep a relationship to save my life and blaming the job, whichever one it was, was the best defense I had. But I didn't have any defense against you. Still don't. I love you and I'm just going to have to pray extra hard that nothing happens to you."
"I'm a pagan," Abby pointed out, smiling through the tears.
Kate half-laughed, half-sobbed, and replied, "It doesn't matter. I'm praying for you anyhow."
"Such a good little Catholic girl," Abby crooned, deliberately lightening the mood.
A very inelegant snort passed Kate's lips and she accused, "You just want to get me into that uniform."
"Damn skippy! But not tonight. Come on. Let me wash your hair, you can drink your water, brush your teeth, and we'll get some real sleep."
"Um, how ticked was Gibbs, anyhow?" Kate asked hesitantly.
Stealing a brief kiss, Abby replied, "Not at all. I think he's going to have a few choice words about your location, but at least you kept it in a conference room and weren't drinking in the office itself."
Kate sighed in relief and Abby couldn't stop the insanely goofy grin from surfacing. She was just too damn happy for words. Kate loved her, the rest was just gravy.
* * * *
Groaning in pleasure as she finally, finally slipped beneath the covers, Kate immediately curled up over Abby and snuggled against her. She'd said the words and lightening hadn't struck. The look on Abby's face when she'd said them...her toes curled in happiness and she snuggled even closer, though that wasn't really possible. Her head was killing her, not even the toothpaste had entirely banished the rotten taste in her mouth, and her shoulder was still throbbing from the extra kick of the rifle she'd used, but she was happy.
She wasn't a sniper and never had been. She was a pretty decent shot, a much better one, now that Gibbs had taken to putting hers and Tony's personal items in harm's way on the shooting range. But still, she wasn't a sniper. It had been instinct, grabbing the rifle from the marine arguing with Gibbs about what to do next. She'd somehow known that the hostages were going to get killed, that the two corporals had unraveled completely. She'd grabbed the rifle, flicked off the safety, and shot one of them right between the eyes just as he'd lifted his gun to join his partner in killing all the hostages. The other had been taken care of by a real sniper.
Gibbs had had to pry the gun from her shaking hands and had handled her very carefully while Tony had kept the rest of the men around them from her. They'd both been very protective, as they inevitably were. Not because she was a woman, but because she was part of the team. McGee had kept her company in the car itself. Once ensconced in Gibbs' car, she watched through the mental fog as he'd ripped into the response time of the snipers that had forced Kate to be the one to do the shooting.
Well, at least part of the shooting, she thought wryly.
"You okay?" Abby whispered.
Nodding wasn't really a lie. She was going to think this to death for the next month or two, hounding herself for ways to not have killed that young man, but she knew it was a good shooting. There really hadn't been any other way. Tangling her fingers with Abby's, Kate asked, "So what do you want to do this weekend? Since we've obviously got a long weekend now."
"What makes you think Gibbs gave me Friday off?" Abby teased.
Kate grinned and kissed the softest skin under her chin and ear. "So what do you want to do now that we've got a long weekend?"
Chuckling, Abby replied, "Ren Faire's in town. I could get all wenched out. You could see me in a corset all day, in public, and maul me to your heart's content. It's practically Pride."
"It is not," Kate scoffed. "They're crazy and delusional, but still straight for the most part."
"And yet, you can still walk around with me in a corset all day and I'll fit in, but you, in your jeans, will not."
Knowing that she'd lost the battle, though she hadn't been trying that hard to win, Kate heaved a sigh and capitulated, "Ren Faire it is. What else?"
"Stay in bed for an insanely long time doing anything but sleep?"
Kate shivered at the possessive, lusty tone and husked, "Sounds good to me."
"Good. We'll start tomorrow," Abby announced, laughter in her voice as she kissed Kate's forehead. "For now, it's dreamland for you, baby."
A yawn beat out her protest that she wasn't tired and Kate again gave in, this time gracefully. Listening to Abby's heart beating so strong and steady meant the world to Kate. Knowing that she was loved for who she was, faults and all, healed the lifetime of hurts done to her battered heart. Bringing Abby's fingers up to kiss, Kate asked, "They've got jewelry at the Crazy Faire, right?"
Abby chuckled. "Yes, they do, oh belittling one."
"Good. Because I think this finger is just too bare."
Abby's breath hitched when Kate kissed the wedding-ring finger and her arm tightened around Kate's back. "So's yours."
Looking up into those pale eyes, Kate whispered, "Not for long. I really do love you, Abs. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I want to prove it to you."
Abby took her mouth in a slow, endless kiss and pulled back to whispered, "I believe you. And I love you too, baby. Get some sleep."
Nodding happily, Kate finally closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift into sleep, secure in knowing that Abby would not only be there in the morning when she woke, but by her side for a long, long time to come.
***