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Title: Those Three Little Words
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Jimmy Palmer/Tim McGee
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5, 12_stories
Prompt: 1, Love
Author's Note: Spoilers for the NCIS episode "Pyramid."
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Jimmy Palmer or Tim McGee, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
"Where did Cobb take him?" Tim could hear his voice as he spoke, but it sounded far away, as though it was somebody else saying the words. He could barely force them out; he felt as though he was underwater, drowning, the blood rushing in his ears.
He still couldn't believe that Cobb had taken Jimmy. How had his boyfriend managed to be in the elevator with that bastard? It appeared to be a classic case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but Tim couldn't help feeling that it had somehow all been planned.
It hadn't been, of course. Cobb had simply taken the first person that he'd been able to grab -- and Jimmy had been the unfortunate one to be in his line of sight at the time. Tim fervently wished that it had been anyone else -- even himself.
He was better equipped to handle being kidnapped by a psychopath than Jimmy was. He could only imagine how terrified his boyfriend must be -- and he had no idea where Jimmy was. He didn't know where Cobb could have taken the man he loved.
What if Jimmy was already .... No, Tim told himself sternly, pushing that thought away as quickly as it had formed in his mind. He would know if Jimmy was dead. He would feel a gaping hole in his heart. He would know if his love was gone.
He'd never told Jimmy that he loved him, in all the weeks of being with him. He'd never said those three little words, the words that would have meant so much to both of them. He'd said that he cared -- but never that he was in love.
He should have said those words, should have told Jimmy before now what he felt. Now .... it might be too late. When he found Jimmy again, his love might be a cold body in his arms, beyond ever hearing the words that Tim so desperately wanted to say.
He wanted to lay his head down in his arms and cry; he wanted to sob out his fear and frustration, but he couldn't do it. There was no time for tears, no time for self-recriminations about words he hadn't said. They needed to find Jimmy as quickly as they could.
Did anyone else here at NCIS guess at the relationship that he and Jimmy shared, or was it still a secret? As far as he could tell, no one had guessed by his actions that he was much more upset than anyone else appeared to be over Jimmy's abduction by a crazed killer.
They all seemed to be much more worried about Barrett -- though as far as Tim was concerned, she was of much less importance. And after all, she was an experienced field agent. She knew how to take care of herself in a situation like this. Jimmy didn't.
Jimmy shouldn't have been put in this position. This wasn't something that he'd bargained for when he had come to work at NCIS. He shouldn't be in the hands of some psycho, possibly being tortured; he should be safe and sound here, at work, not having his life put in danger.
If only Cobb had grabbed him instead of Jimmy! But that would only have made his boyfriend do exactly what he was doing now -- and Jimmy would have no way of working to find out where he was, or coming to his rescue. Still, anything would be better than this situation.
They had all racked their brains trying to think of where Cobb could have taken Jimmy and Barrett; no one seemed to have any ideas. Gibbs wasn't here; Tim had no idea where he was, but he would give anything for his boss to walk out of that elevator right now.
Tony wasn't even thinking about Jimmy, he thought, anger welling up in him as he glanced over at his colleague. Neither was Ziva. They were both focused on Barrett; they didn't even seem to care that Jimmy's life was at risk.
That wasn't fair, he chastised himself a moment later. Of course they were worried about Jimmy; they were worried about any friend and colleague who was in trouble. But they seemed to be much more attuned to Barrett, which probably wasn't surprising.
Not in Tony's case, anyway, Tim thought sourly. She wasn't anything more than a fling to Tony; that man's heart was never captured by any of the people he casually dated and slept with. He used women like other men used tissues; he wasn't deeply affected by any of them.
With him and Jimmy, it was different. He was in love with the man who Cobb had kidnapped; Jimmy was his heart and soul, his reason for living. Without the man he loved by his side, Tim knew that he couldn't continue to be here at NCIS.
If anything happened to Jimmy, he would never be able to walk into this room again. He would never be able to look at Ducky, or Gibbs, or anyone else on his team without thinking of his lost love; if Jimmy died, his career with NCIS would be over.
He would find another job somewhere else, working with computers, and he would never be with anyone else. He would spend the rest of his life mourning for the man who he'd never said three little words to, the man who would never know how very much he was loved.
Tim had to gulp back a sob at the thought. He couldn't lose Jimmy. Not now. Not before he'd told him how he felt. He had to be able to look into Jimmy's beautiful brown eyes and say those three little words, the words that would mean everything to both of them.
I love you. Three words that were so simple, that he should have spoken out loud long before now. Why had he been stupid enough to hold back his feelings? If he hadn't, then Jimmy could at least be secure in the knowledge that Tim would find him and get him out of there.
He had to know that would happen, Tim told himself. He had to. Jimmy would be expecting Tim to come with the team to rescue him; he would be counting on Tim, more than anyone else. He couldn't let Jimmy down. He had to find out where his boyfriend was.
But how could he do that? There didn't seem to be any clue as to where Cobb would have taken two hostages; the only thing they could do was hope to locate the van that Cobb had forced Jimmy to sign out. Once they found that, they would find Cobb.
All he could do until then was hope that Jimmy was alive, that Cobb wouldn't decide he was collateral damage and kill him. He wasn't an agent; Cobb had to know that. He probably thought that Jimmy was someone unimportant, someone who could be thrown away.
Cobb wouldn't stop to think that Jimmy was a man who had a life away from work, that he had someone who loved him. He wouldn't care about that. All he would think about was what he considered his "mission." None of the people who were hurt would matter to him.
They had to find the bastard, Tim thought, his hands clenching into fists. They had to find him and stop him, make sure that Jimmy -- and Barrett, too -- was okay. And he had to get his boyfriend home, where they could lock themselves away and be safe.
Where he could tell Jimmy how much he was loved, Tim thought, tears rising behind his eyes. He had been a fool not to say those words already. If he was lucky enough to get Jimmy back and have the chance to say those words, he would utter them every day for the rest of his life.
He wasn't going to hold back his feelings any longer. He was going to make sure that Jimmy knew he was loved, knew exactly how Tim felt about him. He was going to let Jimmy know in no uncertain terms that he was Tim's world, that he was loved, treasured and cherished.
Tim's head jerked up as he heard Gibbs' voice. How long had his boss been here? He hadn't even heard the other man come in; he'd been so focused on his own thoughts that everything else had seemed to fade away into the distance.
"That's the building where the training went on." Gibbs' voice was terse; he looked around at his team as they rose from their desks. Tim's heart leapt at the words; surely Gibbs had to be right. That was an obvious place for Cobb to take his hostages.
He got to his feet quickly, checking to make sure his gun was in place. They were going to find Jimmy and get him out of the place, and they were going to take Cobb down. Then he was going to take Jimmy home and take care of him in every way that he could.
And he was going to say those three little words to Jimmy every day, for the rest of their lives. Starting today. When they found Jimmy, the first chance he got, he was going to let those words come out, Tim vowed as he headed for the elevator. He would never hold them back again.***