Title: A Beautiful Gift
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Giacomo Casanova
Fandom: Doctor Who/Casanova (Masterpiece Theater)
Rating: PG-13
Table: 2
Prompt: 49, Gift
Author's Note: The character of Giacomo Casanova is based on the BBC version of Casanova starring David Tennant.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Giacomo Casanova. Please do not sue.

***

Giacomo didn't speak as they walked back to the Tardis; the Doctor opened his mouth to start a conversatin a few times, but never actually said anything. He couldn't think of how to tell Giac of what he was planning to do, or even if he should tell.

Maybe it would be for the best if he quietly faded out of this existence after spending some time with the one person who he knew would always be here for him. Giac wouldn't question it if he didn't reappear; he knew that there would eventually come a time when the Doctor didn't come back to him.

But that was hardly fair to Giac, was it? To let him think that the Doctor was still somewhere in the universe, alive and well, seemed a cruel thing to do when it wouldn't be true. But it seemed far crueler to burden Giac with the knowledge that he no longer wanted to live.

When they reached the alley where he'd left the Tardis, the Doctor let Giac enter the ship before him, a small, unwilling smile tugging at his lips when the Italian turned to him with a look of wonder. Did everyone who entered the Tardis look like that at first? He'd never really noticed.

"This is indeed a place of wonders," Giac told him, his eyes darting from one place to another in the huge control room of the ship. "It feels as though it's the place you belong, my angel from the stars."

"This is .... my home, really," the Doctor said, trying to hold back a sigh. Until recently -- was it really only a few hours ago, in modern time? -- he'd thought that his home was in Cardiff. But now, it seemed that the Tardis was the only place he did belong.

Giac smiled, leaning over to press his lips against the Doctor's cheek. "Then it is indeed fitting that this should be your home -- for you are a wonder in yourself," he said softly, his words making the Time Lord look down and blush.

"No, Giac, you're wrong," he whispered, the words seeming choked in his throat. "I'm nothing that you should consider special .... different, maybe, but nothing more than that. You hold me in too high an estimation, no matter what you may think."

"Be that as it may," Giac said firmly, "I still choose to think of you as a wondrous man. And now that we are here, in your home, where you feel safe -- I want you to tell me what you are doing here, and why you looked as though you were contemplating doing something that you would most surely regret."

The Doctor blinked, opening his mouth to deny Giac's words, and closing it again when he realized that he couldn't. Not without lying to his lover -- and that was something he didn't want to do. But how in the hell had Giac known what he was intending to do?

"I was .... errr ...." He felt that he owed Giac some explanation, but he could think of nothing to say, no way to refute the other man's words. They weren't an accusation, he was aware of that, but they still made him feel uncomfortable, as though the decision he'd made was obviously a bad one.

"You don't have to tell me all the details," Giac murmured, leading him to the couch against one of the Tardis' walls and sitting down, pulling the Doctor down beside him. "But I believe that you came here for a reason, and it wasn't just to end your life."

The Doctor couldn't speak; it was as though Giac had somehow climbed inside his mind and knew what he was thinking. All he could do was nod silently, his eyes not meeting theother man's gaze.

Giac placed his hands on either side of the Time Lord's face, leaning forward to press their lips together. "It doesn't matter what you are running from, my angel," he whispered against the Doctor's mouth. "Only that you have chosen to run to me, and that I'm thankful you did."

"You don't deserve to be burdened with my problems -- or with my decisions," the Doctor managed to say, gulping and cursing himself as a few tears escaped and ran down his face. Dammit, he hadn't wanted Giac to see him cry.

"You, beautiful one, could never be a burden to me," Giac said softly, wrapping his arms around the Doctor's waist and pulling him close. "I'm glad that you came to me. I hope this means that you have second thoughts about what you seem to have wanted to do."

"I ...." The Doctor's voice trailed off; he wasn't sure what he should say -- or what he wanted to say. He hadn't been having second thoughts, not really .... until he'd seen Giac, touched him, and had heard those soft words and felt the other man's affection envelop him.

Giac laid a finger against his lips, his eyes meeting the Doctor's. "I could be very wrong, but I would guess that this is about a man. Some man who's hurt you, someone who you think you can't live without. Would I be right about that?"

The Doctor nodded miserably, his face contorting as he tried to hold back tears. He didn't want to think about Jack, not now. He didn't want to confront the reason he'd come here -- at least, the reason he thought he'd come here. He wasn't so sure of his reasoning now.

He closed his eyes and gave himself up to Giac's embrace; those strong arms were around him, that soft voice was murmuring in his ear, lyrical Italian words that sounded like poetry.

Giac was standing up, pulling the Doctor to his feet along with him, leading him down the corridor to his bedroom. The Time Lord was amazed that Giac could still remember where to go -- but, he reminded himself, he hadn't been gone for very long in the other man's timeline.

He was pulled down onto the bed beside the Italian, Giac slipping an arm around his waist and pulling him close. The Doctor closed his eyes, laying his head on the other man's shoulder. For the moment, he was content to sit quietly and let his confused thoughts rest for a while.

"Who is this man who's treated you so badly, my angel?" Giac asked softly, his voice gentle. "No one should have such an effect on you that you could want to end your life. No one is worth that -- especially not when a life as beautiful as yours is weighed in the balance."

"He .... he was .... someone I loved," the Doctor whispered, his throat constricting around the words again. But he owed Giac some kind of explanation, no matter how hard it was to talk about his feelings. "I had thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. But I was wrong."

"He was a very foolish man, to let you slip through his fingers," Giac murmured, soft fingertips trailing down the Doctor's cheek. "Someone who must not appreciate great beauty -- or great uniqueness."

The Doctor shook his head, swallowing back the lump that had risen to his throat. "Jack was .... someone who could have given me forever," he said in a strained voice. "Someone who I thought wanted to. But I was wrong. And it .... it hurt too much to always be second choice with him."

"Jack." Giac's voice was thoughtful; he said the name as though he was trying to place a face to it, though it was obvious that the two men had never met. "The same name as mine, no? Perhaps you are attracted to men with certain names, my angel."

"Maybe I am," the Time Lord managed to say, before a soft sob overtook him and he couldn't speak. He buried his face against Giac's shoulder, squeezing his eyes closed. No. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't. He'd already done enough of that. It was useless, futile.

"Cry if you need to, beautiful one." Giac's voice was a soft murmur, the other man's arms securly around him, one hand stroking down his back, the other twining through his hair. It was the first time in what felt like forever that anyone had offered him comfort when he'd needed it.

He couldn't hold back his tears any longer; he let himself go, sobbing in Giac's arms, feeling as though the tears would never stop. It was as if all the tears he'd saved up over the centuries were finally coming out in one huge rush, a river that wouldn't stop flowing.

But eventually, they did stop. The Doctor didn't raise his head; he huddled into Giac's arms, reluctant to leave the comforting embrace. He could feel those soft lips against his hair, then his forehead, hear that soft voice still whispering words of love into his ear.

"We have much to talk about, sweet one," Giac said, his voice soft, his arms still around the Doctor. "But I want you to understand one thing before I say more, my angel."

"What is that?" the Doctor asked, finally raising his head from Giac's shoulder. He felt better now that he'd had a good cry; he hadn't realized just how cathartic that would be. Somehow, he felt cleansed, refreshed, and able to think much more clearly than he had been earlier in the day.

"That you are a gift." Giac once again took the Doctor's face between his hands, forcing the Time Lord to look directly into his eyes. "A beautiful gift. Any man would be blessed to have you, and anyone who doesn't feel that way doesn't deserve you. Always remember that, my sweet."

The Doctor nodded slowly, unable to do anything else. He knew that he would have to agree to what Giac was saying to him, even though he didn't feel that sentiment himself. A gift? More like a curse, he thought to himself, wincing even as the thought crossed his mind.

"You are reluctant to believe that, I know." Giac sighed softly, releasing the Doctor and trailing his fingers down the Time Lord's cheek, stroking his soft skin. "But it is true, nonetheless. I hope that someday you'll be able to see just how remarkable you are."

"When that day comes, you'll be the first to know," the Doctor told him, trying to make his words sound light. And though he didn't want to admit it, Giac's words did make him feel better.

"Now that we are here, together .... I think it would be wonderful to have some time to ourselves," Giac said, his voice almost a purr as he leaned towards the Doctor. "This may not be the best time -- but I am more than willing to offer you whatever you need to restore yourself, my angel."

"I just .... I need ...." The Doctor stopped, not sure if he should say the words that he wanted to say. He didn't want to sound too needy, after all. And he certainly didn't want Giac to think that he was only being used a substitute for Jack, when he wasn't. He was much, much more than that.

"Yes?" Giac arched an eyebrow, smiling, one hand still stroking the Doctor's cheek.

"You," the Doctor said simply, raising his eyes so that their gazes met. "I want you. I need you, Giac. More than I've ever needed anyone, I think."

"Then you have me," Giac told him, both arms sliding around the Doctor's waist again and pulling the Time Lord against his body. The Doctor closed his eyes, letting himself melt into that embrace. Whatever else they needed to talk about, for the moment, this was all that mattered.

***