Title: A Better Life
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: VRD challenge - Yellow, 5_prompts
Prompt: When life gives you lemons ....
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.***
Jamie propped his chin on his hands, sighing and looking out across the waves rolling in on the beach. What was it about being here on Earth that made him feel even more disconnected from it? He shouldn't feel that way, considering what he was.
He was human; he should feel some sort of bond to this planet. But try as he might, the only thing he could feel for the planet that had given birth to his race was the same fascination that the Doctor had for it -- and he couldn't know if those feelings were the Time Lord's, or his own.
One thing that he did know was that he still didn't want to be trapped in a human body. He'd hoped that he would eventually get used to it, but so far, that hadn't happened -- and at this point, he didn't think that he would ever be able to accept it.
In his heart, he still felt that he was a Time Lord. All of his memories were of that part of his life -- a life that technically wasn't even his own. His life had started from the moment that the Doctor had stopped a regeneration by bringing him into the world.
This body still seemed so foreign to him, even though it was his own. The single heart, the short life he would have .... It all seemed as though it wasn't a part of him, that it belonged to someone else and he was nothing more than an interested spectator.
Jamie sighed, raising a hand to run it through his hair and over his face. He really shouldn't complain about being in a human body, should he? After all, he existed. That was something he should be grateful for. He could so easily have never come into being.
And beyond that, he was with the man he loved. It would have been all too easy for the Doctor to give in and do what everyone had been urging him to do, and put his clone out of his life. He could have relegated Jamie to a life in his own personal hell.
He could so easily have been pushed aside, left in an alternate universe with a person he didn't love. That would have been a fate worse than death -- and yet, there had been so many people who were more than willing to consign him to that sort of life.
Those thoughts abruptly left his mind as he heard a soft cough behind him and turned slightly to see the Doctor standing there, hands in his pockets, looking sheepish. Jamie smiled, patting the blanket beside him in a silent invitation.
The Doctor moved forward, lowering himself to the ground behind Jamie and slipping his arms around his lover's waist. With a soft sigh, Jamie leaned back against the other man's chest, reassured and soothed by the feel of those two hearts thudding in the Time Lord's chest.
"What are you thinking about, love?" the Doctor asked, his voice soft. "You were scowling and looked deep in thought, so I thought you might be in need of talking to get whatever's bothering you out of your system. I'm here if you need to talk."
Jamie heaved a sigh, wishing that he didn't feel so guilty about saying the words, but knowing that it was best to get them out into the open. "I just .... keep thinking that it's impossible to get used to being in a human body," he whispered, his voice barely audible.
"It seems that you've been given lemons to deal with in life, doesn't it?" the Doctor murmured, bowing his head to place a gentle kiss on Jamie's cheek. "But look at it this way, sweetheart. If circumstances had been different, you might not be here at all."
"I know that," Jamie said softly, feeling even more guilty. The last thing he wanted to do was to make his lover feel as though he bore any sort of resentment towards him for his existence. "I'm grateful to you for that, love. And for keeping me with you when you didn't have to."
"I would never have let anyone take you away from me," the Doctor murmured against Jamie's hair, his arms tightening around his lover's waist. "You belong with me, Jamie. I knew that from the first moment I saw you. I'd never have let anyone force you into something you didn't want."
"Sometimes I feel so guilty for feeling that life hasn't been fair to me," Jamie continued, hoping that his words wouldn't hurt the Doctor. "But I never wanted to be in a human body, Doctor. And I don't think I can ever get used to it, or to the other things that come along with being human."
"So maybe being in a human body isn't what you want -- but you do know what you can do when life gives you lemons, don't you?" the Doctor told him, nuzzling his cheek against Jamie's. "There's a very simple solution that might make you feel better."
"What's that?" Jamie asked, curious in spite of himself. He was sure that he'd heard something before that ran along those lines, some old Earth saying that played around the edges of his memory but didn't quite break into the forefront of his mind at the moment.
"You make lemonade!" the Doctor laughed, pressing another kiss to Jamie's cheek. "You might have gotten a bit of a raw deal with being in a human body, love, but there are so many good things about being you. Not the least of which is us being together."
Jamie nodded, smiling at the Doctor's words. The Time Lord was right. They were together, and in the end, wasn't that the really the only thing that mattered? He was here, with the man he loved, where he belonged. He couldn't ask for a better life than that.
"You know, you're absolutely right," he murmured, turning his head to smile at the Doctor. "I might have been given a few lemons, but I'm lucky to have you. You're the sugar in my lemonade, Doctor. You make everything in my life as sweet as it can possibly be."
"So, what do you say that we go make some lemonade right now?" the Time Lord murmured into Jamie's ear. Jamie laughed, nodding and getting to his feet. He was more than ready to make their own brand of lemonade -- and to let the Doctor pour all of that sugar onto him.***
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