Title: At the Center
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Mick St. John
Fandom: Doctor Who/Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Table: 100_tales
Prompt: 60, Peace
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Tenth Doctor or Mick St. John, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Mick leaned back against the cushions of the couch in the library of the Tardis, closing his eyes and letting himself relax. One thing he loved about being here on the ship was the aura of peace that always seemed to surround him here, the rest of the world melting away.
He'd never been in another place that gave him this much peace, let him set his mind at ease in the way that the Tardis did. Maybe it was because they were more or less away from the world here; they weren't really part of any particular time or place.
He liked that feeling. It made him feel a bit isolated at times, but hadn't he always felt like that since he'd become what he was? Being here on the Tardis made him feel that he had a center, a place to come back to that was an oasis of peace in an ever-changing world.
Did the Doctor feel that way? Mick's brow furrowed as the question occurred to him. This was the Docotor's home; the Tardis would always be more than just a ship to him. He had a bond with her; she was his protector, his refuge.
Mick had never seen anything like it before. At first, it had made him feel strange to know that the Doctor had such a bond with the ship, but over time, he'd come to feel something of a connection with the Tardis himself. It was an odd feeling, but not unpleasant.
Maybe this was why he felt such peace when he was here, Mick told himself, taking a deep breath and sinking back into the plush cushions. The Tardis might be trying to help him relax, to let him feel as though the outside world had no bearing on him.
If that was so, then she was succeeding very well, he thought with a wry smile, lifting his head and looking around the room. Not only did he feel as if all of his worries melted away into nothingness when he was on the ship, but as though he didn't need to be anywhere but here.
He'd never had that sort of feeling anywhere else. There had always been something to do, some reason for him to move around, to keep active. This was a completely different existence from any he'd ever had before, and he was finding that he liked it.
They weren't idle, of course. He'd found more adventurous situations with the Doctor than anything he'd ever faced on Earth; he was surprised to find out just how much of a trouble magnet his boyfriend seemed to be, how he seemed to be able to stumble into danger wherever they went.
It was a good thing that the Doctor had him along for protection, Mick told himself with another smile. No, that wasn't entirely true. The Time Lord had been around for over nine hundred years; he'd certainly learned how to take care of himself in all that time.
Nine hundred years. He'd thought that Josef's four hundred years on Earth was a considerable time; he couldn't begin to imagine living for almost a thousand years. How did it feel to have seen so much, all the way from the very beginnings of time to the end of it?
The Doctor was the most incredible person he'd ever met, Mick reflected. He'd told someone once that with his vast experience of life, Josef was history -- but the Doctor was much more than that. He was not only history, but the vast reaches of time itself.
He'd thought that he couldn't ever possibly meet anyone who was more strange than what he himself had become -- a creature who drank blood and was both lionized and demonized by literature and myths. But the Doctor was something entirely different.
The Time Lord was something that he had never dreamed of, much less thought he would encounter in his life. The idea of vampires had seemed amazing and unreal to him before he'd become one -- but the Doctor was out of a science fiction novel.
Yet he was here, and he was real. And Mick loved him more than he'd ever loved anyone -- even Josef, though that was hard to admit to himself. The Doctor was the center of his universe, and he wanted to be with this man for the rest of eternity.
Loving the Doctor added to his sense of peace and security, in a strange way. When he'd been involved with Josef, there had always been such secrecy, a feeling of emotions roiling just under the surface, so many feelings that hadn't been addressed and never would be.
There was none of that with the Doctor. There was only a peace and serenity in their relationship -- as well as the overwhelming passion Mick felt every time he held the other man in his arms and made love to him. There was a calm center that he'd never had with Josef.
In fact, he'd never had that kind of peace and calm with anyone in his life. No one had ever made the effort to help him fit into their lives the way that the Doctor did. And no one else had so obviously made him the most important person in their lives.
What he shared with the Doctor wasn't just love, or physical passion. There was something between them that went far deeper than anything he'd ever experienced before; there was an accord between them that seemed to have been there from the very beginning.
He'd felt a measure of this peace and calm that first night he'd talked with the Doctor, before he had known just what the Time Lord was. There had been something about this man that had reached out to him and enveloped him in a calm and quiet that his soul had desperately needed.
Mick felt as though he'd been looking for the calm peacefulness all of his life, not just during the time that he'd been a vampire. He had always needed that calm center, an oasis where he could rest and relax, but he'd never been able to find it in anyone else.
The Doctor was at the center of his life. The Doctor was that oasis, that person he could turn to whenever he wanted to sink into pleasure, whenever he needed someone to be there for him who could soothe him and let his soul rest side by side with theirs.
No one else had ever been there for him in that way. Josef had tried, but there had been too much baggage in Josef's past, too much that he wasn't willing to share. He loved Mick, but they had long since discovered that they were better off as friends than as lovers.
But with the Doctor, he had that calm, that strength, that soothing presence that gave him peace. There were no hidden dark corners, no questions, no darkness from the past that might jump out to attack them at at time. There were no secrets.
There would never be any secrets between himself and the Doctor. Mick knew that Josef hadn't wanted to keep secrets, either, but there had been some issues from his past that he hadn't been able to let go of -- and that had eventually driven a wedge into their relationship.
Josef hadn't been able to accept the peace and tranquility that Mick was offering him -- and he hadn't been able to give anyone that same peace. He was better off with someone who could deal with those darker corners, those secrets he felt that he needed to keep.
Mick pushed the thoughts of his former lover and close friend aside, forming a picture of the Doctor in his mind's eye. This was the man he loved, the man he wanted to spend all of eternity with -- and beyond. This was the man who made his heart and soul sing.
The Doctor gave him a peace and serenity he'd never thought he could possibly know, especially after he'd become what he was. It was odd that someone who was constantly moving through time could have that sort of tranquility about them, but Mick didn't question it.
This was the kind of peace that he'd been searching for all of his life -- even before he'd realized that he wanted it. When he was younger, he'd thought that he wanted excitement, danger, adventure. Now that he had lived as a vampire for so long, he knew what he really wanted.
He wanted the peace that came with the sort of relationship he shared with the Doctor. And now that he had that peace, he would enjoy it for all of eternity. The thought made Mick smile as he heaved a sigh of contentment and let the peace of his surroundings envelop him.***
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