Title: Blue Eyes
Pairing: M/T, M/?
Archive: Definitely - if anyone wants it. Just let me know on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Series/Sequel: Maybe, could be. This is a coda to a story/series that is sitting in the dark, dark recesses of my mind.
Disclaimers: Don't own them just letting them exploring their true nature. Paramount can have them back whenever they want but they better treat them right or I'm gonna set my cat on them. They can sue but do you really want to know how little the New Zealand dollar is worth.
Note: This is un-beta'd. It is my VERY first piece of fanfiction and I was too nervous to let anyone else read it. So now I am exposing it to the whole group. Go figure. If you can understand how my mind work let me know there a whole team of doctors who would like some help.
Malcolm relaxed back into the bath and revelled in the warm water and soft bubbles. It was an old fashion claw-footed bath with more than ample space for both Malcolm and his bathmate. Malcolm gazed across the tub into the eyes of the one that had stolen his heart and smiled ruefully. He looked into blue eyes that were so incredibly familiar yet at the same time unique and special. His heart ached as he once again realised how much those blue eyes reminded him of Trip Tucker. The blue was softer than Trip's with just a hint of grey but they were the same shape and they held the same unashamed love of life that Trip's did.
Malcolm wondered to himself if those blues eyes were the reason he had so fallen deeply in love again. But no, he knew that those beautiful blue eyes were only a tiny part of his love. He loved the owner of the blue eyes more than life itself and a passing familiarity to the fabulous Mr Charles Tucker the Third was only one small factor.
The aforementioned Mr Tucker became a large part of Malcolm life's from almost the first moment they met. In the early days they had clashed often, setting boundaries and erecting fences both on a professional and private basis. Trip's exuberance was the antithesis to Malcolm's reticence and the differences between the two men were seemingly insurmountable. But love doesn't answer to logic and an enduring romance developed.
The romantic journey was a slow and sometimes rocky road. They had developed first a tolerance, then a friendship. Finally - after one serious misunderstanding, two miscues and a matchmaking intervention from a certain captain - a relationship. Many times during that journey Malcolm had wondered where they would end up. He knew this relationship was different from his others. That his love for Trip was deeper than anything but he questioned whether his and Trip's stubbornness would sabotage it before it had a chance to mature.
With Jack however there had been no doubt. Malcolm hadn't been sure of how his life would change when Jack entered it but it was love at first sight. Jack had come along all blue eyes and big grins and Malcolm's heart had been changed in a way that it would never be the same again. That was not to say that his relationship with Jack was all wine and roses. He had given up lot for Jack, his position on Enterprise, his career as an armoury officer and this separation from Trip.
And Jack was demanding, very demanding. Sometimes Malcolm thought all he ever did was cater to Jack's wishes, to Jack's needs, with barely any time for himself. But he realised that that was the way the relationship had to be at this moment. And for all Malcolm gave to Jack he got it returned in spades. Not with words or grand gestures but with quiet moments, soft touches and adoring looks that clearly spoke of Jack's love for Malcolm. Malcolm had had no doubts about the depth and strength of his love. He knew NOTHING could ever change his love for Jack. He looked once more at his love and vowed softly to himself, "I'm never going to stop loving you Jack not as long as you live whether I breathe or not".
Malcolm felt himself turning morose, reflecting more and more on what was missing from his life. Love was a wonderful thing he reflected but it hurt as much as it healed. He someone times wondered if he was better off when he didn't know the riches that love offered. Whether he would be happier as that closed off by-the-book officer because at least then he wasn't someone with a sore heart and empty arms.
He sighed as tears pricked his eyes. Just a few years ago he was a man who was bereft of love. His relationship with his parents was strained over his decision to join Starfleet. His "baby" sister was forging her own career and their contact was infrequent at best. Malcolm had friends and companions but no one to fill his heart. But then came firstly Trip and now Jack. His heart had been forced to grow to accommodate the love he felt for both. Yet many days, as now, it felt hollow, echoing with the memories that he couldn't relive. Like holding Trip in his arms. Stolen kisses whilst on duty. Talks in the middle of the night when the demons wouldn't leave him alone.
Jack sensed the change in Malcolm's mood and laid his hand gently on Malcolm's cheek. Malcolm smiled brightly in response. With merely a touch Jack broke the melancholy that he had been slipping into. He took Jack's hand in his and kissed it in thanks. He inhaled as he did filling his senses with his beautiful Jack. Malcolm cherished these quiet times with Jack, they helped to fill the gap that Trip's absence created. Malcolm sighed to himself as much as he loved Jack, Trip had Malcolm's soul and he felt incomplete and empty without Trip there with him.
Malcolm shook his head. He had to focus on the here and now. Right now he had a busy career for Starfleet. He was the head of a team designing weapons and defence systems for the ships in the Starfleet armada. And right now he had the company of Jack, who he knew loved him in return as much as Malcolm loved him. However the busy job, Jack's demands and Malcolm's incessant need to fill the gap Trip left meant that his energy levels where waning. He splashed Jack one last time and quickly pulled the plug on the bath before either could regret the decision.
Malcolm wrapped Jack in a big towel and started to vigorously dry him. His efforts quickly turn to the mischievous and a tickle war broke out. Despite Malcolm's advance training in arm-to-arm combat the eventual result was declared a draw with both breathless from laughter. The battle sapped the last of their respective energy and dressing was quickly completed. With a last burst of energy Malcolm swung Jack over his shoulder and carried him laughing and giggling upside down to the bedroom.
They lay together on top of the large king-sized bed both to tired to slip under the blankets. They exchanged sloppy kisses and heart-felt hugs. Malcolm curled himself around Jack and contented himself in listening to Jack's gentle breathing as he drifted off to sleep. Malcolm floated in a sea of thoughts and memories of blue-eyed engineers and the distance that separated them. He looked down at Jack and thanked any deity listening for his presence in his life but asked that Trip be return to his arms. Jack slept on young and innocent his blue eyes closed, oblivious to Malcolm's thoughts. Malcolm shook himself out of his reverie. He untangled himself from Jack, being extra careful not to wake him from his well-earned sleep. He walked over to his desk and took out a PADD .
My Dearest Trip
Another day has gone without you here with us. Another day without a chance to share some precious memories. But I comfort myself with the thought that soon we will be back together. We're over the halfway point now so officially its all downhill. Just three more weeks, 21 days and I will have you again in my arms.
Jack is growing so fast and he's missing his papa terribly. He had a screaming fit just yesterday. He wanted you, and only you, to dress him. It took me nearly an hour to calm him down. And you can wipe that cocky grin off your face Mr Tucker I know for a fact that Jack has had his fair share of tantrums over ME.
I think he is starting to get ready to walk. He's pulling himself up on anything he can reach. Your mother said you were an early walker, looks like Jack is determined to follow in your booties. Don't worry I've tied weights to legs to slow him down until you get back.
I've enclose some photos from a birthday party Jack and I attended last week. That baby shaped chocolate cake is actually YOUR son. He couldn't quite grasp the concept that your meant to eat the food not wear it. Oh well it only took two baths to getting him clean and I never really liked that WHITE hand embroidered shirt of his.
Not too long till we have to have a party for Jack. Personally I say we skip the formalities and just chuck the food all over the little blighters at the beginning of the party. It'll save a lot of time and hassle. Then we can just hose them all off at the end.
Its nearly a year Trip, can you believe it, a year with this wonderful young man in our life. I've been trying to remember what our life was like BJ (before Jack). I know we were happy Trip but we can't have been this happy, not without Jack. A year Trip. Can you remember how scared we were, how we didn't even know to hold him? You were so afraid you were going to drop him. I know I wasn't much better but you . I can still picture you holding him at arms' length with the fiercest look of concentration on your face.
And soon that tiny baby is going to be walking and talking up a storm. Time seems to fly sometimes and yet other times it just drags. Like when you're not here. Come home soon Trip, we miss you. Come home safe to us. We're not a family without you.