Title: Breathe In
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: gen
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 1, 50ficlets
Prompt: 24, Breathe
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor stood on the top of one of the tallest buildings in London, hands in his pockets, looking out over the city. No matter how many times he was on Earth, this was a sight that he could never resist coming back to again and again.

What was it about London that made him so unable to stay away from it? There was some sort of magnetic pull about the city, one that kept him coming back to it time and time again.

Of all the places he'd been to on this planet, this was the one that made him feel most composed and able to think through all the events that had taken place in his life since the last time he'd been here. He didn't know why that was, but he was grateful to have a place where he could think.

Why London, of all places? He'd mused over that question more than once, but never found any kind of a satisfactory answer to it. Maybe it was because the city was where he'd found so many of his companions in the past ....

But he was done with looking for companions, he told himself sternly. No, he worked best alone, even without having anyone to watch his back. He wanted some time to himself. Really. He needed it, even if it didn't last for too long of a time.

He needed that time to come to terms with his last companion leaving. His mind winced away from that, not wanting to dwell on it.

Time enough for those thoughts later. He still hadn't let the pain of losing Jack to Torchwood fully sink in yet; he was trying to keep it at bay, as though he could let the wound heal over without acknowledgeing that it was still there.

Eventually, the pain would come back in full force, probably more searing than before. And the wound that was festering would burst and bleed. But until that happened, he was going to keep it inside, buried where he wouldn't have to examine it too closely.

He sighed, turning his thoughts away from that train of thought. What had he been turning over in his mind before he'd gotten distracted? Oh, yes. The reasons why he always came back to this particular place, this London.

The most plausible reason was that the city was teeming with life, with humanity -- a rush of people and activity that he could lose himself in. That reason was a very good one.

It was almost as though he could breathe in the life around him, and let it sustain him, make him feel more at home with humans, more in tune with them. Just being around them could, at times, lift his spirits and make him feel that there was good in the world.

He'd seen so much of what was evil and disheartening in his long life -- far too much of it. But there was a purity, an innocence about the human race, even when they were at their worst. There was something about them that always made him feel protective of them.

Strange, those feelings. The rest of his race had always been so horribly xenophobic, but he didn't share that feeling. To him, humans were an endless source of fascination, one that he would never get tired of exploring and learning about.

And humans had been his best friends and companons. He'd even -- the thought of Jack popped back into his mind, albeit unwillingly -- fallen in love with one of them.

He'd lost his hearts to a human, something that he'd never thought would happen. Something that no one of his race would ever admit to. But then, he wasn't like most of his race, the Doctor thought, a wry smile quirking his lips. He never had been.

He was an outcast among them when he'd lived on his home planet, and even after he'd left. Maybe that was why it had fallen upon him to be the instrument of their destruction.

Ah, yet another thing that he didn't want to think about at the moment. No. Better to focus on the here and now, rather than on old memories of things that were over and done with, actions that couldn't be reversed.

He loved Earth. He loved humans, in spite of the fact that one of their number had dealt him a heart-crushing emotional blow. He could breathe here, in a way that he couldn't on any other planet. He felt as though he could, one day, belong here.

As if to prove that thought to himself, he breathed in deeply once, then twice. Yes, this place felt calming, letting all of the tension seep out of him, leaving him feeling centered, alert.

The Doctor smiled out upon the city of London, spread out far below him. He flung his arms wide, closing his eyes and raising his face to the sun. Yes, of all the places he'd seen, this was the one that felt the most welcoming to him.

The one that felt the most like .... home.

He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and surveyed the sun-gilded sight of the city. Then he turned and went back to the Tardis, feeling more at peace than he had in quite a while.

***