Title: Bright Side
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Michael Cutter
Fandom: Doctor Who/Law & Order
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, fanfic50
Prompt: 27, Illusive
Warning: ongoing story, past non-con
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Michael Cutter, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Michael glanced over at the Doctor as they ambled along the path in Central Park, wondering what the Time Lord was thinking. He hadn't seen the Doctor this thoughtful in a long time; it seemed that something might be bothering him, but Mike didn't want to ask.

If there was something on his lover's mind, he wanted to know -- but at the same time, he didn't want to see as though he was trying to pry. He was walking a thin line between wanting to know everything the other man thought, and wanting to give the Doctor his space.

He hadn't realized that he'd sighed aloud until the Doctor stopped walking and turned to him with a frown. "Is something wrong, love?" he asked softly, reaching out to place a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. Mike stopped in his tracks, drawing in his breath sharply.

"What? No, there's nothing wrong." He shook his head in quick denial, then sighed and shrugged. "I don't know if there's something wrong or not," he said, his tone matter-of-fact. "I was wondering if there was something bothering you, actually."

The Doctor shook his head, a small smile curving his lips. "No, not a thing," he answered, casting a quick glance around them at the serenity of the park. "I suppose I'm always a bit pensive whenever we come back here, though."

"Because of what happened to me," Mike said, the words a statement, not a question. He had a hard time coming back to New York sometimes as well, for that very reason -- but it was his hometown. He'd never be able to stay away from this city completely.

The Doctor nodded, turning a solemn gaze on Michael. "I don't think I can ever look at this city as being a place that I'm comfortable in. Not after that," he said slowly, shaking his head. "I'll always wonder if those men are still here somewhere."

"They are," Mike murmured, casting a glance around them. "I know they are. Sometimes when we come back here, it's like I can feel them, even if I don't think they're anywhere near. They're still here. And they got away with what they did."

The Doctor's eyes narrowed as Michael spoke, his lips narrowing into a thin line. Mike was a little disconcerted by the sudden change in his lover; it was as though the Time Lord had done an about-face, turning into a different person before his eyes.

This was a side of the Doctor that he hadn't seen often, a side that he wasn't sure he liked. He knew that his lover was feared by several of the various races in the universe; he'd been told that the Doctor was referred to in some quarters as "The Oncoming Storm."

But that side of the man he loved was illusive; it could show in his eyes and his expression sometimes, but it was fleeting. That side of him was gone as quickly as Mike glimpsed it, leading him to believe that it was more of an illusion than a part of who the Doctor was.

It was times like that he knew for certain that there was a dark side to the Doctor. He shouldn't be surprised at that, Mike told himself; everyone was a combination of dark and light. But that side was frightening to see in someone he was so close to.

Still, he supposed it could be comforting at the same time. After all, that dark side wasn't directed at him -- it would be used to defend him, to keep him safe. After what had already happened to him, it was good to know that such power was on his side.

"Hey," he said softly, reaching out to touch the Doctor's shoulder. "It's in the past, okay? It's over and done with. And some good came out of it. I'm with you now on a permanent basis. Maybe if it hadn't happened, I'd still be living here and working in the DA's office."

The Doctor's eyes had been unfocused and smoldering with anger, as though he'd been looking far away into the distance, at something only he could see. But when Michael spoke, those dark eyes turned their gaze on him, the anger in them fading away.

The Time Lord's jaw unclenched, his features softening as he turned his head to look at Mike. "I'm sorry that you lost your job over what happened," he said, sighing softly. "I know what it meant to you. But I'm selfish enough to be glad you did, in a way."

"Because it means that I'm with you all the time?" Mike asked with a smile, sliding his arm through the Doctor's and taking a step forward. "I'm glad I lost my job too, if that was the only way I could be with you. If I had to choose, you know I'd have chosen you in the end."

"I know you would, love." The Doctor's voice was husky, his dark eyes filled with tenderness as his gaze rested on Mike. "There was a time, when our relationship first started, when I didn't think you would. But those doubts didn't last very long."

"I wondered about that when we were first together, too," Michael admitted with a sigh. "I didn't know if our relationship would work out, because I didn't know what you did for a living, or if you could come to New York on a permanent basis. I wasn't sure about anything."

"And then you found out that I'm not human, that I don't live on Earth, and that everything you thought you knew about me was an illusion!" The Doctor laughed, shaking his head. "I wish that I could have told you the truth from the beginning, but you never would have believed it."

"I don't know." Michael had to consider the other man's words carefully; he wasn't at all sure that he would have dismissed the Doctor's story if he'd heard it sooner. "If you'd shown me the Tardis, I think I would have believed. I wouldn't have had a choice."

"But I wouldn't have wanted you to believe because of an inevitability," the Doctor said softly, that dark gaze locking with Michael's. "I would have wanted you to believe me because you loved me, and because you knew that I wouldn't lie to you."

"I knew you wouldn't lie to me from the first night we met," Mike told him, his own voice husky. He could remember that night with crystal clarity, as though it had only happened yesterday. "That wasn't the best night of our lives, was it?"

The Doctor shook his head, giving Mike a rueful smile. "I'd say not -- but it had its good points," he said, reaching for his lover's hand and twining their fingers together. "It brought us together, didn't it? Even though our first time making love could have been better."

"But I made it up to you the next morning." Michael didn't just want to hold hands; he wanted to be closer to the Doctor than that. He slid his arm around the Time Lord's waist, pulling the other man close against his side.

"You certainly did," the Doctor whispered, reaching out to trail soft fingertips across the strong line of Michael's jaw. "You captured my hearts that morning, you know. I was already fascinted by you -- but the second time we made love, I fell in love with you."

"I knew I loved you after the first few days," Mike admitted, his memories making him smile. "But I was so scared to say those words. I kept thinking that everything I'd built up in my mind about what you and I could be like was an illusion, and that it would all disappear."

"And it hasn't disappeared," the Doctor said, stopping in his tracks and turning to face his lover. Michael had to stop walking too; he turned towards the Doctor, his heart skipping a few beats as he took in the look on the other man's face.

"No, it hasn't. It's only gotten better," Mike told him, raising both hands to the Doctor's face. He leaned close to the Time Lord, pressing their lips together, reveling in the fact that the other man returned his kiss as lovingly as it had been given.

The Doctor's arms were around him, those soft lips on his own. This was no illusion; this was the bright side of the man he loved, the side that he was used to seeing, the side that he had fallen head over heels in love with from that first glance.

That dark side was more illusive, but it was no less a part of the Doctor. Still, Mike was glad that the darker side of this man wasn't turned towards him; he shuddered to think of having to face that kind of darkness, the fury that he knew the Doctor would unleash.

Maybe he would see that dark side in its full glory one day, Michael told himself, smiling as he raised a hand to stroke his lover's cheek. But at the moment, he was basking in the light of the Doctor's bright side -- and that was the only place he wanted to be.

***