Title: Come Into My World
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Beta 1, challenge_the
Prompt: 8, Outside
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

Jamie sighed as he rested his head on the door frame of the Tardis, looking out at the vista beyond him. He knew that he should feel a lift to his spirits, that he and the Doctor could explore this pleasure planet and enjoy what it had to offer.

But lately, he'd been feeling more and more as though he didn't really fit into his lover's world, even though the Doctor had made it clear that he wanted Jamie to be with him. Jamie didn't doubt that he was wanted and loved, but he did doubt the rightness of it.

He wasn't like the Doctor, despite his Time Lord brain. Yes, he had the Doctor's memories and experiences all stored inside his head. He knew what the Doctor had been through in the past; if he closed his eyes, he could bring those memories, those feelings, all flooding back in a rush.

But they weren't his memories. They belonged to someone else. He hadn't had all of those experiences; he hadn't lived through everything that the Doctor had. Those memories weren't his property; he couldn't claim them.

He was just a human who happened to look exactly like the Doctor. He wasn't a Time Lord, even though his mind told him that he had been in the past. He was a copy, a pale imitation. And because of that, he would never fit into the Doctor's life, into his world.

He would always be on the outside looking in, straining to be a part of the life that the Doctor had always lived and taken for granted in some ways. He could never have that life; he would always be constrained by the fact that his body was human.

The Doctor would shake his head and vehemently protest that Jamie was on the outside of anything, he thought morosely, his gaze scanning over the sight of rolling green hills that seemed to stretch out for miles. But the Doctor didn't know how he felt.

The Time Lord couldn't know that -- because even though he was half-human, he had never known what it was like to feel that he was less than what he should be. He'd never known what it was like to feel that he was nothing more than a carbon copy of another person.

Or did he?

Jamie frowned as another thought came into his mind, a thought that grew in perspective until it seemed as though it was practically shouting at him. Yes, the Doctor did know what it was like to feel that he was on the outside looking in.

The Doctor had felt that before. In fact, he had felt that way for most of his life on Gallifrey. Jamie might not have actually lived that life for himself, but he did have the Doctor's memories -- and he did know exactly how the Time Lord had felt during those years.

His breath caught in his throat at the memory of it -- the feeling of being a pariah, an outcast, looked down on by people who should have been his friends, his peers. Sneered at because of his half-human ancestry, his curiosity about the world outside of Gallifrey.

He had been vilified and made to feel like an outsider for his entire life, for reasons that Jamie thought were ridiculous. What was wrong with challenging the status quo? He saw nothing wrong with that; in fact, he thought it was a healthy curiosity to have.

But of course, that was because he was part of the Doctor. He had his own personality, but he also had remnants of the Time Lord still within him. They were more alike than he knew; he might be human, but his resemblance to the Doctor didn't stop at his outward appearance.

He was more like the the Doctor than he might have thought, Jamie realized with a shock, his dark eyes widening at the realization. They not only shared their looks and their memories, but they shared a great many of the same feelings.

The Doctor knew what it was like to stand on the outside, feeling that he would never be a part of the world he craved entrance to. He'd felt that way for all of his life; Jamie could search his memories and find those feelings lurking just under the surface.

Jamie sighed, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against the door frame of the ship. How could he have been so thoughtless as to believe for even one instant that the Doctor couldn't understand how he felt? If anyone could relate to his feelings, the Time Lord could.

If he'd bothered to look into his memories, he would have known from the beginning that the Doctor knew just how he felt. He'd always been on the outside -- just as Jamie felt that he was now. Only it had been worse for the Doctor, in so many ways.

He had been labeled an outcast by his own people -- those who should have protected him and made him feel that he was a part of them, that he belonged with them. Jamie knew that he himself would never feel that way, thanks to the Doctor and the Time Lord's love for him.

He would never have to feel that he was alone; he would always have the knowledge that the Doctor loved him to hold on to. He would always know that even when he was feeling at his lowest, he could go to the Doctor and feel the Time Lord's love wrap around him like a security blanket.

The Doctor had never felt that kind of love. Not since his mother had died. He had never had anyone to hold out their hand to him, to draw him into a comforting embrace and make him feel less of an outsider. He had always had to keep his emotions bottled up, locked tightly inside him.

Until now. Until he'd had someone to love him.

He was never going to let the Doctor feel that way, Jamie vowed. He knew well enough how it felt to be on the outside looking in, to feel that he would never be a part of what he watched. And to know that he didn't truly belong, even if he was invited into that world.

No one should have to feel that way. Not himself, and certainly not the Doctor. The Time Lord had already dealt with that kind of attitude far too much from the people on his home planet; Jamie wasn't going to let anyone else treat his lover in that way.

Maybe he'd been doing that without really realizing it, he thought, feeling guilty. Maybe he'd been making the Doctor feel that the two of them didn't belong in the same world, that there was a barrier between them that would never quite be completely removed.

Well, he wasn't going to let any kind of barriers come between them any more. If he'd been guilty of feeling that he was on the outside looking in, and inadvertently making the Doctor feel the same way, that was over as of now. He was going to change his outlook.

No more feeling that he was somehow inferior to the Doctor, or that he was on the outside of a world that his lover belonged in and he didn't. The Doctor had invited Jamie to come into his world, and there was no reason for him to feel that he didn't belong here.

He was a part of the Doctor's world. If the Time Lord hadn't thought that, then he would never have brought Jamie with him. The Doctor had him here because he did fit in; he didn't have to consider himself an outsider. The Doctor wanted him here.

Jamie could almost feel the burden of worry that he'd been carrying for so long slip away from him. There had never been any need for him to feel that way, he told himself, feeling no regrets for the feelings that he was consigning to a dim place in the back of his mind.

Smiling, he turned to see that the Doctor was entering the control room, heading for the door. He held out his hand to his lover, ready to go and explore this beautiful place they'd found -- and to feel that he was safe and secure in a world that would never keep him on the outside again.

***