Title: Come To Pass
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: gen
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 50ficlets
Prompt: 50, Will Never Be
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

He shouldn't want to experience being human. Humans were weak, and they had short life spans. As a Gallifreyan, he had so much more than they did. Humans might be fascinating, but they had so many disadvantages that he would never have to worry about.

He should be happy with who and what he was. He couldn't change it, after all. But he also couldn't change the fact that sometimes he envied them.

Humans didn't have to deal with knowing that they were the last of their kind. Oh, all right, so the Master was still out there in the universe somewhere. He wasn't the last Gallifreyan alive, though the Master was so far gone into madness that he might as well not be there.

They had no connection as Gallifreyans any more -- or even as Time Lords. Their only connection was their animosity to each other, the fact that he'd spent a good part of his life either hunting or avoiding the other man and trying to stop whatever he was doing.

There were times when he remembered their days at the Academy wistfully, the days when they'd still had a friendship. It had been a strained friendship, but nevertheless, it had been there. Those had probably been the best days of his life.

Not because of the Master, but because he hadn't known what was ahead of him. He'd been a Time Lord, but he'd been more carefree, still learning about what he would become and what his life could possibly be like once he was out amongst the stars.

How old had he been when he'd first done that, left his home planet and journeyed to a faraway place? It was something he probably should remember -- but he didn't.

Dates often slipped his mind, because of the fact that time was so fluid for him. He didn't remember how old he'd been at a lot of significant points in his life. But he did remember how he'd felt the first time he'd been out in the stars as a Time Lord.

It had been wonderful, thrilling, exhilarating. That feeling never ceased to amaze him; even now, when he was going to some new place, a world he'd never seen before, he could still feel that lift of joy and excitement in his hearts.

He wondered if the Master felt the same way -- or if he just saw the whole of the universe as something for him to conquer and rule. There was no way of knowing; the other man's madness was impossible for him to fathom. He'd never understand those feelings.

They were far too different to ever meet in the middle. The Master would never compromise -- but neither would he. They'd always be at odds.

Maybe that was why he had such a fascination with humans. They were relatively uncomplicated -- he could understand them in so many ways, and even when he didn't fathom their motivations, he could come up with a plausible theory for them.

Actually, if he was honest with himself, he was partially human. Half-human, on his mother's side. There had been a time in his life when he'd been ashamed of that ancestry, when he hadn't wanted to admit to it.

It had made him feel as though he was less of a Time Lord, but that wasn't true. Being part human had always made him stand out, made him someone special amongst his people. He should never have hidden from that; instead, he should have embraced it.

He'd learned to do so now. But he hadn't always been so appreciative of who and what he was. And, of course, it had always been a way for the Master to get under his skin and taunt him.

But the truth of the matter was, he would never be completely human. It was something that would never be, and he wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved by that knowledge. His feelings were pulled in two very distinct directions.

If he really thought about it, would he be happy with being human? Probably not. He'd long for what he'd had as a Time Lord that humans could never have, and he'd more than likely bitterly regret giving up the life he had now.

And as for the Master .... hoping that he would find his way back to sanity and that their friendship could somehow be resumed was another thing that would never come to pass. The other man had been too long in the realms of unreality. He'd never come back from them.

Both of those things were something that he could fantasize about, and wonder what his emotions would be if they happened. He could even hope that they might.

But they'd never be. And in many ways, he was glad of that. Because, at the end of the day, he was nothing more than who he was -- and so was the Master. And the two of them would each have to live with that fact, no matter what else they might hope for.

***