Title: Curiosity
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: gen
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 100moods
Prompt: 23, Curious
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor leaned back against the bench in Central Park, looking around him at the colorful people passing by. Humans were so .... flamboyant at times, he thought to himself, smling slightly as a young man walking a dog nodded at him.

Take that woman strolling along the path with her child, for instance. A bright pink dress, flowing dark hair. Colors that would make anyone sit up and take notice of her.

Or that boy -- hmmm, he looked like a university student, didn't he? -- sitting under a tree with a book in his hands. Bright red t-shirt, faded denim jeans, so many piercings that the Doctor didn't think there was anywhere else he could possibly put another one.

What was it about this planet, these people, that made him wish he could be one of them?

Now, that was one of the silliest thoughts he'd ever had, he scolded himself, shaking his head as though to clear it. Why would he want to be human? They were so .... fragile. Only one heart. And such a short life span.

But still .... at the same time, they were so different from him. True, he was like them in many ways -- he easily passed for human. But there were so many things about how they lived that were foreign to him, even though he was sure that he could get used to them if he had to.

Even if it was hard to do so, it might be interesting to try to live among humans for a while. For longer than the few fleeting days he usually found himself on Earth, at any rate.

What would it be like? he asked himself, tilting his head back and raising his face to the sun. How would it feel to try to assimilate himself into the human race for longer than a few hours, a few days, to attempt to be one of them?

Strange, that was how it would feel. He'd never be able to do it; he could try to fool himself into thinking that he could be human, that he could live amongst them and be happy, but he knew in his hearts that it wasn't possible.

He'd always have a short fuse with them, for one thing. The only person who he hadn't felt that way with was Jack -- and even with the immortal, his temper could snap at times. Quite easily, in fact. That was one of the things he had in common with the human race.

But he couldn't help being curious about them. What was it like to be human? He'd never know -- not in his conscious mind, anyway.

He'd been human .... when he and Martha had been back in time hiding from the Family of Blood. But he couldn't remember what that was like; those feelings had been alien to him when he'd taken his Time Lord body back, and he couldn't remember what they'd been like.

Those feelings had been fleeting after all, hadn't they? The person he had been would recognize them in a moment -- but because he wasn't human, they were something that he couldn't bring back, couldn't conjure to his mind in any way.

But still, he was curious to know what it was like. He'd felt it once before, so why not again? Why not go through the Chameleon Arch one more time, just to experience what it was like to be human? Why not?

He knew the answer all too well, of course. If he did it, then he might not have anyone to pull him back. He'd be human .... until he died.

And he knew that he wasn't ready to give up his Time Lord self. He probably never would be, if he was completely honest with himself. Being human was a novelty, something that he would do if he knew that there was a foolproof way to escape from it.

He couldn't do it without knowing that it didn't have to be forever. He needed guarantees that could never be given.

Sighing softly, he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, peering around him again at the rush of people. The crowd had thinned now; fewer people walked about. They'd probably all gone back to work -- to their lives. Their very human lives.

A life that he would never have. And probably would never knowingly choose.

Well, he would, really. Just for the experience. But only for a short time, only if he knew that he could become who and what he was again when he wanted or needed to. And he couldn't give himself that certainty. He never would.

Yes, he was curious. It was one of the traits that made him who he was. But he'd long since learned that his curiosity could put him into danger, something that he'd much rather avoid.

Curiosity killed the cat, so humans said. Maybe that was true. He'd had what felt like a narrow escape during his last try at being human. He didn't want to cut things that close again. He might have more lives than a cat -- but he wasn't in a hurry to use up the few he had left.

Besides -- and there were times when he hated to admit this -- he liked who he was. Even with all the trials and tribulations that came with being a Time Lord, all the responsibilities that he sometimes didn't want to face, he couldn't bring himself to give it up.

Maybe that was because he truly was meant to be who and what he was. The world needed him, as conceited as that might sound. He couldn't turn his back on that.

With that thought uppermost in his mind, he stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets, slowly ambling back towards where he'd left the Tardis. It was time to go back to being what he was -- even though he had no specific destination in mind at the moment.

He'd have to push that curiosity to the back of his mind, remember that he had a duty to the world that he couldn't turn away from. And even if that duty seemed to be too much at times, he'd taken it on knowingly. He wouldn't be who he was if he didn't follow through.

It might have been nice to be human, he reflected as he walked out of the park and headed for the place where he'd left his ship. It would have been good to become something else, even for a little while.

***