Title: Die For You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: VRD challenge - Blue, 5_prompts
Prompt: Blue in the face
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

"Jamie, what were you thinking?" the Doctor burst out as the two men entered the Tardis, the Time Lord slamming the door closed behind them. "You could have been killed! What have I told you about taking that kind of risk for me?"

Jamie stomped up the three steps to the control room, heading for the couch against the wall and literally throwing himself onto it. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking up at the Doctor, his lower lip jutting out in an angry pout.

"You can shout at me until you're blue in the face, and that won't change anything!" he almost shouted at the Time Lord. "If I had to make that decision again, I'd do it in a second. I'm a clone. I'm expendable. You're not. End of story."

"Jamie!" The Doctor's voice was sharp, the single word ringing out in the confines of the control room. "I don't want to hear you say anything like that again. You are not expendable. Not to me. I'm not going to listen to that kind of talk."

The only reaction was more of a pout; Jamie slumped down on the couch as though he was a child who didn't want to listen to the scolding that he was going to get. The Doctor sighed, moving across the room to sit down beside the other man.

"You know I don't want you to take any risks for me, love," he said softly, reaching out to take Jamie's hand. "I can always regenerate, Jamie. You can't. And I would rather take the chance of that than have to go through the pain of losing you."

"And you think it would be easy for me to lose you?" Jamie burst out, blinking as he turned to the Time Lord. "Do you think I could bear seeing you turn into another person, and know that you weren't the same man I fell in love with?"

"I'm the same man --" the Doctor began, then closed his mouth as he realized that his words weren't entirely the truth. Technically, he was a different man. The face and body changed -- and so did the personality. When this body died, he would die.

The whole concept of what he was couldn't be easily explained. Yes, he was the same man -- with the same memories. But he became a different person with each regeneration -- and when each body died, who he was in that body died with it.

He didn't blame Jamie for not wanting to lose him -- his fears were much the same as the Doctor's were. But Jamie had such a short life span already, compared to what he could have if he didn't put this body into undue danger. He didn't want to shorten it even more.

"I'm not going to stand back and watch you throw your life away. Not when I have a chance to save you from yourself," Jamie muttered, snatching his hand out of the Time Lord's grasp. "I'd die for you. If it comes down to that situation again, I'll do the same thing."

"No, you won't!" The Doctor's voice was sharp again, and louder than he'd intended it to be. "Jamie, I want you to promise me that even if someone comes at me with a weapon, and you think I can't get out of that situation, you won't put yourself into danger."

He couldn't put into words the horror he'd felt when that laser had been pointed at him and Jamie had surged forward, pushing him out of the way and trying to take the full blast himself. It had been sheer luck that the gun had jammed when it had.

If it hadn't, he had no doubt that they would both have died. He might have regenerated, but Jamie .... his lover would have sacrificed his life for nothing. He couldn't have borne to go through the rest of his life carrying that knowledge in his hearts.

Jamie looked at him steadily, his dark gaze meeting the Doctor's and not turning away. "No, I won't," he said softly, shaking his head. "You can insist on that until you're blue in the face, Doctor. But I won't make that promise. I can't."

The Doctor sighed, closing his eyes and trying to push down the frustration that welled up inside him. He wanted Jamie's promise on this -- but a part of him knew that he wouldn't get it. Jamie was a part of him; this man was just as stubborn as he himself was.

Should he back down? He didn't want to, but there was really no alternative. He knew that Jamie wasn't going to budge an inch; once either of them made up their minds about something, they wouldn't be moved. In some ways, that was a good thing.

But he couldnt let Jamie put his life on the line again. He just didn't know how to stop it from happening. And he didn't know what to say to convince his lover that simply because he was human, that didn't mean that his life meant less than the Doctor's.

"Jamie," he finally said, keeping his voice soft. "I won't force you to make that promise. But .... I want you to realise what it'll do to me to lose you. I'd rather be dead than to know that you've had to sacrifice yourself for me and left me before your time."

Jamie nodded soberly, his own sigh mirroring the Doctor's. "I know what it would do to you. I'd feel the same way if I lost you. Let's just accept the fact that we'd each die for the other -- and hope that neither of us will have to make that decision."

The Doctor nodded, leaning forward to brush his lips gently against the other man's. What would he do without Jamie in his life? The time would eventually come when his human counterpart would age and die -- but hopefully, that would be far, far into the future.

"Come on," he said, getting to his feet and tugging Jamie up with him. "Let's go take a shower and get some rest. I think we've had enough of danger for one day." He headed for the corridor leading out of the control room, hoping that this subject wouldn't come up again for a very long time.

***