Title: Don't Need Rules
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 50ficlets
Prompt: 36, Rules
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor raised his eyebrows in question as John let out a heavy sigh, letting the book he was reading fall closed in his lap.

"Is something wrong?" he asked his lover, a note of worry in his voice. John didn't get into a bad mood often, but when he did, it was cause for worry in the Doctor's eyes. His moods sometimes took quite a while to pass by.

The Time Lord knew that his clone had been trying his best to adjust to being human -- without having anyone to help him along that path. It couldn't be easy for him to get used to having a human body, with all of its attendant weaknesses.

He was still bemused -- and almost repulsed -- by the fact that he only had one heart. The Doctor himself couldn't even begin to imagine how that must feel; he'd taken having two of them for granted his entire life. The idea of only having one was unfathomable.

What would it be like to only feel one heart beating in his chest? The Doctor raised his hand to his own chest, pressing his palm against it to feel the reassuring dual heartbeat before turning his attention to John again.

"There are so many rules to being human," John whispered, shaking his head. "So many things that I don't know. I'm not used to being human. And technically, I'm not really a human. I have a Time Lord brain. I only have a human body."

"That doesn't make you human in some ways," the Doctor said softly, agreeing with him. "But it does make you a human in the ways that count."

"No it doesn't!" John almost shouted, snatching up the book from his lap and throwing it across the room. The Doctor's eyes widened when it hit the wall; John wasn't given to such displays of temper, any more than he himself was.

"I'm not human," John whispered, the words sounding choked, almost as if he was fighting back tears. "I don't want to be human. I didn't ask for this, Doctor. I don't want to exist like this. It's not what I'm used to. It's not what I want to be."

"But it's what you are," the Doctor told him, trying to keep his voice soft. He didn't want John to become hysterical; he wasn't at all sure how to deal with a human was who was in that state, much less a man with the brain of a Time Lord.

"No!" John almost spat the word at him. "I may have a human body, but inside -- in my mind -- I'm not human. There are too many rules to being human, Doctor. Too many rules that I've never had to live by, and that I don't choose to bow down to now."

"John ...." The Doctor was at a loss as to what to tell his lover. Of course John was human -- that had been rather painfully pointed out to them both far too many times. But he was right about his mind. He didn't have a human brain.

If only there was some way that he could help John learn what it was like to be human, to help ease him into being what he was without any problems.

But unfortunately, that wasn't possible. He had no more idea of what it was like to be human than John did. There was no way he could help the other man -- except to be there for him and give him someone to lean on if he needed that.

All he could give John in this instance was his love, the Doctor told himself. And he certainly had that -- in abundance. If that was something that could help the man he loved adjust to being what he was, then he wouldn't hold any of it back.

"I don't understand all of it," John whispered, burying his face in his hands. "I don't understand what it is to be human. I've never had to think about it before -- the short life span, the weakened body, all of it. I don't want to be like this."

"I know you don't, John," the Doctor whispered, moving closer to John on the couch and sliding an arm around his lover's waist. "But you don't need rules to show you how to be human. You can just learn by doing. Trial and error -- the way the rest of the human race does it."

"Do they?" John asked, sniffling as he raised his head to look at the Doctor. "There are so many rules, Doctor. So many things I feel that I have to learn, and I don't have a clue where to start. I don't want to be left with humans to learn those things, either."

"I'll help you, if I can," the Doctor told him, pulling his love closer to him and stroking John's hair. "And I'll never leave you with humans. Not ever. You belong with me."

John didn't answer, only nodding and sliding his own arms around the Doctor. The Time Lord closed his eyes as they clung to each other, hoping that he'd be able to give John all the help he needed, and that the fact of him being human wouldn't ultimately drive a wedge between them.

***