Title: Every Time You Go Away
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Giacomo Casanova
Fandom: Doctor Who/Casanova (Masterpiece Theater)
Rating: PG-13
Table: 100_tales
Prompt: 68, Apart
Author's Note: The character of Giacomo Casanova is based on the BBC version of Casanova starring David Tennant.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Giacomo Casanova. Please do not sue.***
The Doctor lay beside Giac quietly, curled into his lover's arms, not wanting to leave the comfort of the bed that they shared. But he knew that he would have to leave soon; he had already been here for three glorious days, and he couldn't stay much longer.
If only he didn't feel that he had to leave fairly quickly every time he was with Giac! But his lover had a life that the Doctor couldn't intrude into, no matter how much he wanted to be with this man. He had a place in the history books, and he had to live the life that he was called to.
But at least they could be together at times, snatching these fleeting moments of love, taking their closeness wherever they could find it. The Doctor wasn't going to complain; he was lucky to know Giac, to have this man in his life and in his hearts.
He had been lucky to be granted this time with Giac; how many people could say that they'd had the world's greatest lover fall for them? He shouldn't complain about not having enough time with his lover; it was a miracle that they'd found each other at all.
Loving Giac had come so naturally to him; he hadn't felt that he had to get to know this man at all. They'd had a connection from the first moment their eyes had met across a crowded room, and it had been much more than desire that had drawn them to each other.
If anyone had told him that he would fall in love at first sight, he would have scoffed at them and told them that such things didn't happen; he had always believed that love had to grow and develop over time, that it was an emotion which needed to be nurtured to take root and flourish.
But it had been different with Giac. When their gazes had met, it was as though he had known this man for all of his life; there had been no awkwardness, no wondering if the man he was looking at felt the same. There had only been the certainty that they belonged together.
That certainty was still with him, as it always was when he spent time with his lover. Giac was the love of his life, the light of his hearts, the center of his universe, even if they couldn't be with each other all the time. Even when they were parted, his lover's spirits remained with him.
He would have to leave again all too soon, the Doctor thought with a soft sigh, wishing that he could get the idea of their imminent parting out of his mind. It was always like this when he was with Giac; thoughts of the future interfered with his enjoyment of the present.
"Are you thinking about the time when you must leave again, my sweet?" Giac murmured, raising a hand to stroke the Doctor's bare shoulder. His lover moved nearer to him under the covers, his free arm sliding around the Time Lord's waist to pull him close.
The Doctor couldn't help but wonder just how Giac seemed to be able to sense his moods, to know what he was thinking even before he opened his mouth to tell the other man what was on his mind. Maybe it was just another aspect of their unusual closeness.
Or maybe it was simply because he wasn't good at keeping a secret from the person who was closer to him than anyone else had ever been. Giac loved him so much that it probably wasn't hard to know what he was thinking, especially when he didn't try to hide those thoughts.
He nodded reluctantly, rolling over onto his side and pressing his face against Giac's chest. "Yes," he admitted, another sigh leaving his lips. "I wish I didn't have to think about that, but I can't help it. I always know that I'll have to leave, and it colors the time that I'm here with you."
"You shouldn't think about our parting, caro mio," Giac told him, that liquid Italian accent soft and loving in his ears. "We are together now, and you don't have to leave at this very moment. We still have some time to enjoy being with each other."
"So much of the time that I'm here, I feel like I don't enjoy the time that we have together as much as I should, because I'm always worried about having to leave," the Doctor admitted, wishing that he didn't have to say such a thing to Giac, but unable to keep the words back.
Giac nodded, a frown marring his smooth brow, his own sigh mirroring the Doctor's. "I know, caro. That is unfortunate, but I cannot change the way you feel. But you shouldn't focus on the time that we spend apart, only the time when we are together."
"If only I didn't have to leave you," the Time Lord whispered, a wild hope growing in him that this time, he might be able to stay; that somehow, some way, Giac could miraculously be just another man in love, and not someone who belonged to history.
But that wasn't possible, and he knew it. He couldn't change who Giac was, and what his name and image would someday mean to the world. And he wouldn't want to change that, not really. Giac was a remarkable man, who deserved to make his mark in the world.
"Every time you go away, my soul cries for you," Giac murmured, caressing the Doctor's cheek. "But I know that you will always come back to me, my love. That is what keeps a smile on my face and a song in my heart -- the knowledge that I'll always have you back."
"And you know that you always have my hearts -- both of them, for all eternity," the Doctor whispered, taking Giac's hand and placing it on his chest so that his lover could feel the strong, steady beat of his dual hearts. "You know they're yours, Giac."
"And my single heart belongs to you, my beautiful Doctor," Giac answered him, his voice soft and husky. "Even when we're parted, caro, my heart and soul are always yours. Never forget that. And always know that you will be welcomed back with open arms."
The Doctor's hearts leaped in his chest at those words; he knew that they were true, of course, and that Giac would always feel them. But hearing them out loud always made his hearts race, as though he was getting confirmation of his lover's feelings for the first time.
If only they didn't have to spend so much time apart! But as much as he wanted to stay with Giac, he knew that he couldn't. Not only did his lover have a place in history that he couldn't interfere with, but he himself had responsibilities that Giac couldn't be a part of.
There would always be a wall between them in that respect, something that they could never quite force away from them, something that kept them apart when every fiber of their beings yearned to be together. But that wall was insurmountable, unscaleable.
Still, they managed to make that wall come down during the time that they did have together. It might not even crumble to the ground for good, but at least they knew that they could climb over it and have those stolen moments of time with each other once in a while.
It wasn't enough, the Doctor reflected sadly, It would never be enough. He would always want more time with Giac than he could ever have, and he was sure that his lover felt the same .But this was what they had, and they had to make the most of it while they could.
They might be forced to be apart, but Giac had always been right about one thing from the very first. They were always together in spirit; their hearts always belonged to each other. Every time they were parted, they took a piece of each other along with them.
He had to be content with knowing that, and with knowing that he would always come back to Giac when he could. It wouldn't last forever; Giac was, after all, human, and he would age and die. But his spirit would always be a part of the Doctor's soul -- and he would always carry Giac's love with him.
Every time he went away, that knowledge would go with him, and it would buoy his own spirit until he found his way back to the man he loved. That would have to be enough, and even though it might not be exactly what he wanted, it was what hey had.
The Doctor reached for Giac again, wrapping his arms around his lover's neck and pulling him close for a fiery, passionate kiss that left them both breathless. All that mattered now was being with Giac, and making the most of this time together before they were forced to part once more.***
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