Title: Friends and Lovers
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Mick St. John
Fandom: Doctor Who/Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Table: Buffet 1, fc_smorgasbord
Prompt: 84, Companion
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Tenth Doctor or Mick St. John, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Mick slowly closed the photo album that he'd been looking at, getting up and returning it to the shelf before he went back to the library couch. He leaned his head back against the soft cushions, closing his eyes, letting his mind wander back over the pictures he'd seen.

The Doctor had been through a lot of companions, just in the body he was in now. And some of them looked as though they had fit right in with the Time Lord's life, as though they belonged here with him. There were times when Mick wondered if that was true for him.

Oh, he felt as though he belonged here. There was nowhere else he wanted to be, really. He loved it here with the Doctor; he felt completely comfortable on the Tardis, and he even felt as though the ship had, in a way, accepted him as part and parcel of the Doctor's life.

The Doctor had told him that the ship accepted him because of the love they shared; it didn't matter that he was a vampire. That didn't seem to matter to anyone except himself, he thought with a wry smile. The Doctor seemed to think that it was perfectly normal.

But then again, what did he expect? The Doctor was an alien; he had come across all sorts of species that weren't native to the planet Earth. He was used to being around people who weren't human; being with a vampire didn't faze him in the slightest.

But all of his other companions had seemed so .... so normal, Mick thought, heaving a sigh. They all seemed like people who could go back to their lives on Earth and fit right in -- and he doubted if he would ever be able to do that, now that he knew more was out here.

He didn't want to go back to his job on Earth, back to hiding what he was and pretending to fit in with the human race. He didn't want to hide himself any longer; he didn't want to go back to a world where he knew that he would never be fully accepted.

He was happy here, happier than he'd ever been. Yes, there were people he missed -- he pushed the thought of Josef out of his mind, slamming a mental door quickly -- but for the most part, he was satisfied to stay right where he was, being the Doctor's lover and companion.

Mick sighed again, sliding down onto the couch until he was almost lying on the cushions. Slowly, he unfolded his long limbs until he was stretched out across the couch, lying with his head on the pillow at one end, frowning as he contemplated what seemed to be a huge problem.

Would the Doctor want to keep him here as a companion -- and as a lover? He had never asked the Time Lord if their relationship was finite; he hadn't wanted to know the answer. He'd been sure that the answer would be yes -- and now, he knew that he didn't want it to be.

When he'd first agreed to travel in time and space with the Doctor, he had thought that it wouldn't last for long, that the two of them would get tired of each other before too much time had passed. He'd assumed that their passion for each other would burn out, die a natural death.

But instead of burning out, their passion had only burned stronger as time went on. Mick knew that he could now no sooner leave the Doctor than he could snap his fingers and become human again -- and for the first time in what felt like forever, he wasn't sure that he wanted that any more.

For so long, all he'd wanted was to have his humanity back. But now, that no longer seemed important. If he didn't have his vampiric instincts and abilities, how would he be able to have the Doctor's back, to keep him safe and step in when he was needed?

Of course, if he didn't stay with the Time Lord, then that wouldn't matter, would it? he asked himself with a sigh. But he had no intention of leaving -- not unless the Doctor asked him to. And he could only that wasn't going to happen. He couldn't bear to hear those words.

If he returned to his life on Earth, he would be just as unhappy as he'd been before he had met the Time Lord. He would once again brood over his vampiric existence, wanting nothing more than to be human again. He didn't want to go back to leading a life like that.

Without the Doctor in his life, he would feel lost. Even his best friend -- and former lover -- wouldn't be able to ease the ache that would be in his heart forever if the Doctor didn't want him to stay here. He had to know if the Doctor wanted him to stay -- or to leave.

Should he stay, or should he go? It would probably be best to leave before the Doctor told him to, if that was how he thought this was going to end. That way, at least he could leave with his head held high, and he could hold on to the hope that there might still be a chance for them in the future.

Even if the Doctor only wanted him to stay as merely a companion, and not a lover, he would do that, just to be close to the man he loved. But as soon as that idea occurred to him, Mick shook his head, closing his eyes to ward off the images that his mind conjured up.

No, it would be far too painful to see the Doctor take another lover -- and the Time Lord was such an attractive man that Mick didn't doubt that would happen. If they weren't lovers, he didn't want to be here. It would hurt too much to know that his feelings were no longer returned.

"Ah, I wondered where you were!" The Doctor's voice broke into Mick's thoughts; his eyes snapped open as he sat bolt upright, wondering how the Time Lord had managed to enter the library without his knowing it. He had been far too lost in his own thoughts, wrestling with his problems.

"I was just .... thinking." Mick couldn't decide if it was best to simply ask the Doctor about what was on his mind, or try to work up to it. He sat up, frowning, considering his words. How did he bring up a subject like this without starting some kind of argument between them?

"Mick." The Doctor sat down next to him, turning to Mick and taking his hands. When Mick looked up, into his lover's eyes, the expression on the Time Lord's face took his breath away. It was as though the Doctor knew what he was thinking -- and had something to tell him.

"Do you still want me here?" Mick whispered, unable to keep the words back. He hadn't meant to blurt them out like this, but they'd been said now; they were out in the open. He couldn't take them back. "As a lover -- and as a companion? I can be both, but I can't be just one."

"I know, love." The Doctor smiled, squeezing Mick's hands gently. "Of course I want you here. I want you with me forever, Mick. Both as my lover, and as my companion. I can't imagine you not being either one. No one else has ever succeeded in being both for very long."

Mick let out a sigh of relief, closing his eyes. "I know Jack was both -- and from what you've told me about him, he didn't want to be here forever. But I do, Doctor. And I can. Your human companions couldn't give you forever. I want to give you that, and more."

"You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that," the Doctor whispered, his voice trembling slightly. "I've been afraid that you would want to leave and go back to your life on Earth at some point, Mick. It's a relief to know that you want to stay here with me."

"And I was thinking that you probably wouldn't want me around for too much longer, that you'd get tired of me," Mick said, exhaling and letting out a soft, self-conscious laugh. "I really need to stop being so paranoid, don't I? Or at least talk to you before I get all worked up."

The Doctor nodded, smiling wryly. "Mick, there's no reason for you to ever think that I don't want you here. My greatest fear has always been being alone -- and beyond that, having people I love leave me. It's a good feeling to know that you're the one companion who isn't going to leave."

"I'll never leave," Mick said softly, clasping the Doctor's hands in his own and pulling the other man to him. "There's no life back on Earth for me. There are people I'd like to see every once in a while, but my life -- and my home -- are here with you now. Forever."

"You're so much more than just a companion to me, Mick," the Time Lord whispered, his dark gaze locking with Mick's and not wavering. "You're everything to me, love. You're my companion, yes, but also my lover and my closest friend. I couldn't bear to lose you."

"You're never going to," Mick murmured, brushing a gentle kiss across the Doctor's parted lips. "Losing each other isn't an option. I was worried that you didn't want to be friends and lovers, just one or the other. I want us to be both, equally. Because they both mean everything to me."

The Doctor nodded, smiling as he leaned closer to Mick for another kiss. This time, when their lips met, the kiss was less gentle and much more insistent. Within moments, they were lost in each other, the worries of only a few moments before swept away as though they had never existed.

***