Title: Happy Birthday
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Michael Cutter
Fandom: Doctor Who/Law & Order
Rating: PG-13
Table: 100_tales
Prompt: 33, Birthday
Author's Note: Entirely, absolutely, completely AU. Obviously.
Warning: ongoing story, past non-con
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Michael Cutter, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor glanced over at Michael, a worried expression on his face. His handsome lover was sitting on the couch with a faraway look in his eyes, a slight frown marring his brow. The Doctor couldn't help but wonder what was on his mind.

There was a part of his mind that cautioned him against asking Michael if something was wrong; after all, it really wasn't his place to pry into the other man's thoughts. But if there was something bothering Michael, he wanted to know what it was so he could try to make things right.

"Mike." The Time Lord's voice was soft, a little hesitant. "Is something wrong, love? You look terribly serious, as if there's something on your mind that's worrying you. If there's anything I can do to help, please tell me."

Michael looked up, his eyes widening as though he'd been startled out of some deep thought. He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. Then he sighed and leaned back against the couch cushions, his gaze focusing on the Doctor.

"Nothing's wrong, really," he said, the words coming out slowly, as though he was searching for the right ones. "I've just been thinking about my mortality."

The Doctor was surprised to hear Michael say something like that; it wasn't a subject that the two of them discussed often, and when they did, Mike usually simply said that it wasn't something they needed to worry about now and changed the subject.

Why would he be thinking of something like that now? A frown that matched Michael's began to grow on the Doctor's features; there was obviously something that was getting to his lover, and he had to know what it was in order to stop it in its tracks.

"Your mortality?" he questioned gently, hoping that he wouldn't push the other man away by inquiring as to what was in his thoughts. "That's not something we usually talk about much, or a subject you like dealing with. What brought that up?"

"It was my birthday a few days ago." Michael sighed audibly, resting his head back on the cushions and closing his eyes. "It just made me start thinking about the fact that I'm another year older. Another year closer to the end -- and you're nowhere near that."

The Doctor rose from his chair, moving to the couch to sit next to his lover. Taking both of Michael's hands in his own, he raised them to his mouth, brushing soft lips across his boyfriend's fingertips.

"Mike, it doesn't matter to me that you'll get older," he said softly, hoping that his lover could hear the sincerity in his voice. "Age is irrelevant. You could be ten years younger, or twenty years older -- and I would still love you with all my hearts."

Michael turned his head to look at the Doctor, smiling sadly at him and nodding. "I know, sweetheart," he answered, his own voice soft and husky. "And it means more to me than I can say. But that doesn't change the face that I'm mortal and I won't always be here with you."

"That doesn't matter," the Doctor said firmly, wanting to take his lover's mind off this morbid train of thought and turn his attention to happier things. "The important thing is that you're here with me now, and that we can enjoy being together in the present."

"In other words, let the future take care of itself?" Mike sat up with a sigh, looking at their clasped hands. "I used to have that kind of an attitude. Every day seemed like a challenge. Now, it feels like every day is only bringing me closer to the day that I won't be with you."

"You can't think like that about your mortality," the Doctor told him, squeezing his hands gently. "You have to live each day as it comes, and enjoy the here and now."

"That's hard to do, when I know that I'm not going to be with you as long as you might need me," Mike told him, his voice soft and heavy with regrets. "I wish I'd have met you sooner. Then we'd have more time to be together."

"You can't think like that," the Doctor told him, his voice firm, a tone that brooked no arguments. "And I'm not as young as I used to be, either. Look at my eyes. Crow's-feet. I'm over 900 years old, and even though I may not look it, sometimes I feel every one of those years."

"You'll never look old, no matter how many birthdays you have," Michael said softly, reaching out a hand to stroke gentle fingertips down the Doctor's smooth cheek. "You'll always be the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on."

"At least while I'm in this body," the Doctor murmured, his dark gaze meeting his boyfriend's. "You could change your mind if I have to regenerate. If that happens while we're together, you might not be able to love the body I end up with."

Michael shook his head, another frown spreading over his features. That was something he couldn't quite manage to wrap his head around; it was completely foreign to him.

The idea of his lover looking completely different, being in another body, didn't make sense to him. He couldn't imagine it. He couldn't imagine his Doctor, his John, with a different face, a different body, even a different personality. It simply didn't register.

"I guess every human thinks like this around their birthdays, once they get old enough to worry about their mortality," he sighed, leaning his head back against the cushions again. "The thought of getting older is scary. For humans more than for you."

"The thought of aging is scary for anyone," the Doctor told him, taking his hand again and standing up. He looked down at Michael, tugging at his lover's hand. "Come on, get up off that couch. You have a birthday to celebrate!"

Michael looked startled, his brow furrowing again as he looked up at the Time Lord. "What? But I told you, my birthday was a few days ago. It's past time for a celebration. I wouldn't have told you if I hadn't had all of that weighing on my mind."

"I wish you would have told me on the proper day," the Doctor said softly, his fingers tightening around Michael's. "Then I could have given you a proper birthday celebration."

"I didn't want one of those," Mike murmured with a sigh. "I wanted to forget that it was my birthday. I wanted to forget about getting older. I wish it wasn't going to happen. I wish that you and I could stay suspended in time and enjoy being together without having to think about the future."

"That's a wish that it isn't in my power to grant," the Doctor whispered, shaking his head and tugging at Michael's hand again. "But I can give you a wonderful time while we're together, love. And I can hopefully make you forget that the future is coming."

"In that case --" Michael got to his feet, wrapping his arms around the Doctor's slender waist and pulling the other man close against him. The frown was replaced by a smile; he'd obviously pushed all of those disturbing thoughts to the back of his mind, at least for the present.

"Happy birthday, love," the Doctor murmured, raising a hand to cup Michael's cheek. "And I hope you'll have many more with me. I intend to celebrate each and every one of them and be happy that this is the day the man I love came into the world."

It didn't matter that Michael's actual birthday had passed by days ago. As his lover's mouth came down on his and those arms tightened around his waist, the Doctor was sure that this birthday would be one that Michael would remember over any others, for all the years to come.

***