Title: Head Above Water
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Drabble Tree, 5_prompts
Prompt: Under the icy water
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

Jamie gasped as he floundered in the cold waters of the sea, trying desperately to keep his head above water. Why had he come out here, anyway? Why was he in the water instead of standing there on the beach, next to the Tardis, waiting for his ultimate fate to be decided as though he had no choice in the matter?

Oh yes, he reminded himself as he closed his eyes, gulping in sea water. He was being forced to go away to an alternate universe with a spoilt, bratty child who cared nothing for him except for the fact that he looked just like the Doctor, and had the Doctor's mind. He was being forced to leave the Time Lord behind, the one person in the universe who he most wanted to be with.

He wanted to die. He wanted to sink under the icy waters and expire, let his body float back up to the beach and make a statement to all of them that he wouldn't be treated as though he had no mind of his own and no choice in where -- and with who -- he was to spend the short span of his human life.

He was gulping in more and more of the salty sea water; it was getting colder. He couldn't feel his legs any more; soon, they would stop treading water and he would sink, going down into the depths before his body would float back to the surface and eventually wash up on the beach ....

Soon .... he could already feel his heart, that single heart that beat within his chest, slowing down, counting the moments until it stopped completely ....

Jamie woke with a cry, his eyes flying open as he sat up in bed. He wasn't drowning. He was here on the Tardis, safe beside the Doctor, the Time Lord sleeping peacefully next to him. It had been a dream. He hadn't been drowning under the icy water of a sea that he remembered all too clearly, hadn't been forced to live a life where he would never be happy

Just a dream, he told himself over and over, pressing his hand against his chest to feel the reassuring heartbeat there, strong and steady under his palm. Just a dream. He wouldn't be forced into that life, away from the Doctor. He was here, safe with the man he loved, where he belonged and where he would stay until the end of his days.

Only a dream, though it had seemed so real. Jamie slowly lay back down, closing his eyes and trying to shut out the disturbing images that kept playing through his mind. It would be a long time before he could fall asleep again -- and when he did, he wasn't so sure that the dreams wouldn't keep coming back to haunt him, slipping back into his mind as easily as he'd let himself slip under that icy water.

***