Title: Heartbeats
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Michael Cutter
Fandom: Doctor Who/Law & Order
Rating: PG
Table: 100_tales
Prompt: 97, Writer's Choice - Disbelief
Warning: ongoing story, past non-con
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Michael Cutter, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

As he led the way down the street towards the place where he'd left the Tardis, the Doctor's mind was racing. What if Michael didn't believe him, even after he saw the inside of the ship? What if he thought it was all some kind of elaborate joke?

No, he wouldn't think that. Mike had to know him better than that; his lover had to know that he wasn't the sort of man to play such a trick. Michael had said the four-letter word that the Doctor had tried to avoid saying too soon; he had to mean that.

He'd said that he was in love. The Doctor tried to hold that word to his hearts, clinging to it and all that it signified for the two of them with all his strength. That word was his future; that word embodied all that he amd Michael meant to each other.

Mike was walking along beside him, his hands in his pockets, not saying anything. His gaze wasn't fixed on the pavement ahead of them; he was looking down, as though he was being extra-careful not to step on any cracks in the sidewalk.

The Doctor found himself tongue-tied, unsure of what to say. He hoped that his mind would allow him to form words once they were inside the Tardis; if he didn't, then the chances of Michael believing what he was seeing went from slim to nonexistent.

Moistening his lips, he cast about desperately in his mind for something to say, some topic that he could bring up that wouldn't sound ridiculous. But there was nothing; he was too tense for small talk. Everything depended on what Mike thought of his ship.

And whether or not his lover would be able to accept what he saw as true, or just some elaborate hoax. In his job, Michael saw a lot of things like that; the Doctor wasn't entirely sure that he would be able to keep his boyfriend's trust.

He wasn't going to think like that. He couldn't. The Doctor pushed the negative thoughts firmly away from him, refusing to let them come into his head again. He was going to think positive; Mike was going to accept him, and stay with him.

Ah, there she was. The Tardis, sitting calmly at the end of the street, not far from a street lamp that looked as though it was shining an incredibly bright light straight down onto his ship, pointing her out like a homing beacon.

That was how he'd always thought of the Tardis, the Doctor told himself, glancing at Michael to see what sort of expression hovered on that handsome face. He was still looking down at the concrete sidewalk, apparently lost in thought.

"There she is," the Doctor said softly, waving his hand at the blue police box. Michael looked up, his expression sharp and expectant -- that expression changing to disbelief when he beheld what was in front of him.

"Wait," he said, stopping in his tracks and staring at the Tardis. "You can't expect me to believe that's a ... a spaceship. It's a police box, like the ones they have in England. I don't know what it's doing here, but that is not a spaceship."

"She's much bigger on the inside, Michael," the Doctor told him, trying to squash the panic that was already rising in him. If Mike scoffed at him and walked away, he had no idea how he was going to get the other man inside the Tardis and explain it all to him.

"John, you're crazy if you think I'm going to believe that both of us could fit in there without it being a tight squeeze." Michael shook his head, his wry smile not holding any mirth. "I doubted your sanity -- now I'm convinced that you're insane."

"Michael, I'm not!" All he could do was defend himself; he had to find a way to get Mike to go inside the ship, to see her wonders for himself. "Please, just go inside. It's not a trap -- you won't get hurt, I promise you. Just .... just trust me. Please."

Mike looked at the blue box again, then back at the Doctor. The Time Lord could swear that he saw a glimmer of hopelessness in his lover's eyes -- a look that he'd only seen once before, when he'd found Michael on the cold concrete floor of that warehouse.

He looked at the Tardis again, taking a step towards her as though he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Reaching out a hand, he looked nonplussed as he felt that the ship was wooden; he turned back to the Doctor then, with a shrug.

"All right, John. I'll humor you. I'll go inside. But then -- then I'm going home. Alone. I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice sounding strained and forced. "But I can't let you come back with me. I have to make a clean break."

The Doctor nodded, feeling tears rising behind his eyes. So this was it, then. If Michael couldn't make himself believe what he would see once he was inside the Tardis, this was the end for them. He'd never see the man he loved again.

Stepping up to the ship, he unlocked the door, then stood aside to let Michael enter before he did. His hearts felt as though they had leaped into his throat and were choking him; everything depended on what Michael thought of his first sight of the interior of the ship.

The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment when Michael walked into the Tardis -- and then stopped dead in his tracks before he moved up the three short steps that would take him fully into the control room. What was going through his mind?

He had to know. Swallowing hard, trying to calm his heartbeats, he followed the other man into the ship, closing the door behind him and going up the steps to stand beside his lover. Michael was turning around slowly, his eyes wide, his mouth literally hanging open.

"This .... this is a spaceship," he said, his voice quiet and awed. "It's .... it's like nothing I've ever seen, John." He turned to the Doctor, his eyes still wide, but with the dawning of belief written all over his face. "You were telling the truth, weren't you?"

The Doctor nodded, the racing of his hearts starting to calm a bit. Michael had seen, and he wasn't running away. It might take him a while to believe everything that he would hear, and to assimilate it all, but he was still here. That counted for a great deal.

"You're .... really an alien?" Michael breathed, his eyes fixed on the Doctor's face as though he couldn't believe his own words. "But .... you look human. We -- we made love. That means that you're a lot like a human, then."

"Yes," the Doctor answered, his voice soft as he moved forward to take Mike's hands in his. "I'm not that much of an alien, Michael. My physiology is something like yours -- even though I have two hearts, and there are other things about me that you might find odd."

"I'm in love with an alien," Michael whispered, his tone still disbelieving. His tone was a little shaky, but he didn't pull away from the Doctor's touch, and the Time Lord could only take that as a good sign. He was making faster progress than he'd thought he would.

"One thing I have in common with you is emotion," the Doctor murmured, his gaze meeting Michael's and not looking away. "I do love you, Michael. You have to know that. I've loved for .... longer than you might have thought. Probably from the day we met."

"I think you probably have a lot to explain to me," Michael said, starting to regain his composure. "And I'll listen, John. I owe you that much. I-I'm sorry for not believing this was true. But you have to admit, it was a little much for me to swallow sight unseen."

"I know," the Doctor said, his tone soft and husky. He knew just how much it had cost Mike to make himself take those first few steps into the Tardis, not knowing what awaited him; any new experience came with its own particular fears.

"I'm not giving you up," Michael whispered, his gaze still locked on the Doctor's face. "It doesn't matter to me that you're not human. I .... still don't quite understand about that, but I'll accept it. I don't think I have a choice, not if I want to be with you."

This was more than the Doctor had expected. He'd thought that it would be an uphill battle for Mike's trust, for him to believe in all that the Doctor had to show him. But those walls of resistance seemed to breaking down, with the help of the strong bond they'd forged between themselves.

"You don't have to," he answered, raising a hand to Michael's cheek and stroking his fingers gently over the other man's soft skin. "You have me, Michael. For now, for always. For as long as time gives us to be together."

Michael didn't answer; he only stepped forward and pulled the Doctor closely into his arms, wrapping his arms around the Time Lord's waist. The two of them stood there for what felt like a very long time, locked in each other's arms, neither of them wanting to let go.

It was Michael who stepped away first, though he didn't let the Doctor out of his embrace completely. He kept the Doctor's hands in his, their fingers entwined; it was as though he wanted to reassure himself of his lover's presence.

"It seems like you have a lot to show me," he said with a smile, extricating one hand from the Doctor's and waving around at the control room. "So, let's have a tour of this ship. I think I've got a lot to learn about it -- and about you too, John."

"You do," the Doctor replied, his voice taking on a new timbre as he considered what to show Mike first. The kitchen? No, too much like what he'd be used to. The bedroom? No, that could come later -- when he was more comfortable with the ship.

"And not only the ship -- you have a lot to learn about the universe, sweetheart," he said softly, squeezing his boyfriend's hand as he led him toward one of the corridors leading from the control room. "And we should get started with that learning right here and now."

Michael laughed softly as he followed the Doctor, looking around as though he wanted to take it all in at once. "I feel like I've stepped into an entirely different world," he breathed, his gaze coming back to the Time Lord. "Do you really have two hearts?"

The Doctor nodded, a soft laugh bubbling up from the depths of those hearts. "Yes, I do," he said softly, his heartbeats thumping. "And they both beat for you." With those words, he wrapped an arm around Mike's waist, guiding him down the corridor into the heart of his ship.

***