Title: House of Hope
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5, 12_stories
Prompt: 4, Hope
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

Jamie looked out over the high hill the Tardis stood on, a hill that afforded him a marvelous view of the city of London. It seemed amazing that there could be a vantage point where he could look over such a large city, a place so teeming with people.

With humans. Others that were like him, who shared the traits of having one heart and a body that, to him, would age and die in the blink of an eye. It wasn't fair, he thought rebelliously, clenching his small, delicate hands at his sides.

He didn't want to be in a human body. Having only one heart was still so foreign to him; he hadn't gotten used to it, and he didn't think that he ever would. He wanted to be a Time Lord again; he wanted to feel two hearts beating in his chest.

Not only that, but he wanted to be able to hear the Doctor in his mind. His Time Lord brain was used to thinking of himself as a telepath, and he was sure that he would feel his lover settling comfortably into his mind if he was fully a Time Lord.

Of course, the memories in his mind weren't his, not really. They were the Doctor's, the experiences of another man. He might have the same body, but he wasn't the Doctor. He was a different man, a new man, who only had those memories because of how he'd come into being.

In this human body, he felt cut off in a way that he had never been before. He felt completely alone, set adrift on an unfamiliar sea that he didn't know now to navigate.

He wasn't alone, Jamie told himself, his mind clutching at the thought. He had the Doctor. The Time Lord was by his side and always would be; his lover was never going to abandon him. He would always have this man, both physically and in his heart.

Just as the Doctor would have him -- even after he was gone, Jamie thought sadly, staring out at the panoramic view of London without really seeing it. He wouldn't be there in body, but he would always be with the man he loved in spirit.

It wasn't enough. Not for him. Just knowing that his spirit would still be with the Doctor and that he would always be a part of the other man's soul didn't give him the comfort that he'd thought it would. It only made him feel resentful that he coudln't be there forever.

The Doctor needed him to be there forever. That was one thing that he could feel from the Time Lord, a message that came through loud and clear. The Doctor dreaded the day of his eventual death and their physical parting even more than he himself did.

There had to be some way to make that happen, Jamie thought, a frown settling onto his features. He had to find a way to take himself out of this human body, to become a Time Lord again. Some way to be with the Doctor for much longer than he could now.

He desperately wanted to give the man he loved the forever he needed. And, truth be told, he needed that forever just as much as the Doctor did.

Jamie jumped when he felt the Doctor's arms sliding around his waist from behind; he hadn't heard the Time Lord come up behind him. He felt the other man's chin rest on his shoulder, the Doctor's breath warm on his cheek.

"What are you standing here looking out at London for?" the Gallifreyan asked softly, a question in his voice. "Shouldn't we be going out there and joining the city, so you can be around humans? I should think you'd want to be surrounded by them, to get used to them."

"Why should I?" Jamie asked, his body stiffening at the Doctor's words. "Do you want me to get used to them so I can live amongst them? Do you want to leave me here with them? Is that what this is all about? Is that why you've brought me back to Earth?"

His voice was rising with each word, panic evident in his tone. Jamie struggled to calm the rising tide of fear that was creeping over him, but he couldn't. He wanted to sink to his knees in front of the Doctor and beg the Time Lord not to leave him here.

Was his lover already tired of him? Was he getting rid of the human who had so unexpectedly come into being, who was his responsibility in so many ways? Was he going to turn his back and walk away, like so many others had done to him in the past?

No. No, his Doctor wouldn't do that to him, Jamie thought, raising a hand to his mouth to muffle a sob that he couldn't keep from coming out.

"Jamie." The Doctor turned him around, pulling Jamie into his arms and holding him tightly. "No, I would never do that, and you know it. How could you think that? You're going to be with me for as long as is humanly possible. I'd never, never leave you."

"If only there was some hope of me becoming a Time Lord," Jamie sobbed, burying his face against the Doctor's shoulder. "Or becoming immortal, like Jack. If only there was some way I could stay with you for always. Without the inconvenience of a human body."

"Nothing is impossible, Jamie," the Doctor said softly, one hand moving up and down Jamie's back in a soothing motion. "That's one thing I've learned during all the centuries I've lived in this universe. There's always hope -- for anything."

"I've thought of you and I as a house of hope ever since the first time I looked around me with these eyes," Jamie whispered, raising a hand to wipe ineffectually at his tears. "A house that you and I would share for a lifetime. But one human lifetime isn't enough. It never will be."

"I want us to be together forever, too, sweetheart," the Doctor told him, sighing softly as he spoke. "But I don't know how to make that happen. At least, I don't know of a foolproof way that would ensure you could become a Time Lord and have the body to go with the brain."

"A foolproof way?" Jamie raised his head from the Doctor's shoulder, blinking and looking surprised. "Does that mean you do know of some way?"

"Yes .... but it involves risks that I'm not willing for you to take," the Doctor said slowly, shaking his head. "There are too many unknown factors, Jamie. Too many chances that could result in your being separated from me forever. I couldn't bear for that to happen."

"But if there's a possibility -- even a slight one -- shouldn't we try?" Jamie argued, feeling a spark of hope start to grow within him. "You've taken so many chances before, with the safety of entire planets and millions of people. You're no stranger to taking risks."

"Not with you," the Doctor said quietly, his arms tightening around Jamie's waist. "I won't risk you, Jamie. You could end up somewhere in limbo, with no body to return to. And I would have caused that. It would be entirely my fault. I couldn't live with that."

Jamie was silent at the thought; a cold chill snaking down his spine at the idea of being nothing more than a disembodied spirit. He would never be able to touch the Doctor again, maybe never communicate with him. That would be a fate worse than death.

But if there was a way -- if there was some hope that he could become more than what he currently was -- he wanted to look into the possibility. He wanted to continue to live in his house of hope, to stay with the Doctor for much longer than the human life span he had now.

Whatever the chance was, he would weigh the options and listen to how the Doctor felt about it. But in the end, he would take the chance. Being with the Doctor forever was worth any risk he might have to take -- and he was willing to put everything on the line to bring his hope to life.

***