Title: I Will Find You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Giacomo Casanova
Fandom: Doctor Who/Casanova (Masterpiece Theater)
Rating: PG-13
Table: VRD challenge - Blue, 5_prompts
Prompt: Feeling a little blue
Author's Note: The character of Giacomo Casanova is based on the BBC version of Casanova starring David Tennant.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Giacomo Casanova. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor rolled over in bed, snuggling close to Giac's side. He knew that he was going to have to leave soon, and he didn't want to. He wanted to stay here with his lover, curled up in bed with him, and not have to think about the future.

If only he could be here all the time, he thought with a soft sigh. That would be all that he could ask of life, to have the freedom of loving where he chose, who he chose. If only he could put his responsibilities aside and live his life the way he wanted to.

But that wasn't possible. He'd taken on certain responsibilities when he became a Time Lord, and he had to live up to them. He hadn't known that he would fall in love with a human man from a period in history that had long since gone by.

And he certainly hadn't thought that he would fall in love with Giacomo Casanova. Thank goodness this wasn't an era with paparazzi, he told himself with an inward smile. At least he didn't have to worry about being caught on camera when they were together.

When he had first come to this time period, he hadn't realized that the man he'd fallen in love with would be here. But once he'd looked into those eyes, seen that smile, and felt that touch, there had been no turning back from what his hearts had told him.

Falling in love with Giac had been out of his control; it wasn't something he'd planned, but he didn't have a single regret over losing his hearts. Anyone would have fallen for this man, he thought as he snuggled next to his lover. Giac was irresistible.

He would have to leave soon, go back to his lonely life on the Tardis, traveling the galaxy and wandering from place to place. But he would always return here, for as long as he possibly could. He would never let Giac fade away from his memory, or from his hearts.

If only it was possible for him to forget those responsibilities, to renounce being a Time Lord and stay here with the man he loved. If only .... The Doctor sighed, depression starting to steal over him. There was no use wishing for what couldn't be.

Giac turned over onto his side, sliding an arm around the Doctor's slender waist and pulling him close with a look of concern. "Why the sigh, my love?" he asked, his voice soft and husky. "You sound as though you are thinking of something unpleasant."

The Doctor had to resist the urge to bury his face against Giac's shoulder and burst into tears; but there was no sense in that. Crying wouldn't do any good. It wouldn't change things, and he would only succeed in making Giac feel bad.

"I'm just ...." He sighed again, swallowing back the lump in his throat and trying to make his tone light. "I'm feeling a little blue because I know that I'll have to leave soon. I always want more time with you than I can have. I'm greedy that way."

"That isn't greed, my sweet," Giac murmured as he brushed a lock of the Doctor's hair out of the Time Lord's face. "It's love. I myself would like for you to be with me all of the time, but I know that you can't be. So I accept what we have, and feel grateful for it."

"I should be able to do that," the Doctor told him, resting his head against Giac's shoulder. "But it's so hard for me to see it that way. I'm grateful for the time we have together, and I would never give up loving you. But I wish I could be with you all the time."

"If you could, then both of us would be much happier," Giac said with a smile as he lowered his head to capture the Doctor's lips with his own. "There is no reason to feel blue, caro mio," he whispered against the Time Lord's mouth. "Whenever you come back, I will be here."

"I'll find you no matter where you are," the Doctor told him, his voice catching in his throat. "Even if you have to leave here, my hearts will always lead me to you. It's uncanny how I can always find you, even if I haven't been back here in a while."

"Ah, that is what a great love can do, my sweet," Giac said, pulling the covers up around the two of them. "Love can do great things, can it not? It can overcome any obstacles thrown into its path -- and it can lead lovers to each other against all the odds."

The Doctor nodded in agreement, feeling a little cheered by Giac's words. They might not always be able to be together, but he knew that this man would always have a place in his hearts. And even with all of the other lovers he might take, Giac would always belong to him.

He couldn't interfere in this man's place in history. Giac would always be known as the great lover, the man who could seduce anyone. But no one would ever know of his great love -- a Time Lord from an alien galaxy who had captured the great seducer's heart.

Yet another reason for him to feel blue, the Doctor thought wryly -- the fact that no one would know how much he and Giac had loved each other. But did the world really need to know that? Their emotions were between the two of them, not for public consumption.

There was really no reason for him to feel blue. He had responsibilities, yes -- but Giac did, as well. The two of them might not be able to be together all the time, but they had each other deep in their hearts and souls, which was all that really mattered.

He hated the loneliness that he felt when he was away from his lover, and he couldn't fill that void with anyone else. But he had no right to hold Giac back from his place in the history books. He had to let the man he loved be who he had always been intended to be.

That was the greatest gift that he could give Giac. That, along with his hearts, was all that he had to give. And the promise that no matter what might happen to either of them in the future, he would always come back to find his lover.

They would never be truly parted, not as long as they each other the other in their hearts. It gave him some measure of comfort to know that he would always have that love for Giac burning in his hearts, all through the rest of his days and into eternity.

The Doctor burrowed closer into his lover's arms, closing his eyes and letting himself relax. He wouldn't be here for much longer, but when he left, he would take Giac's love with him. And that would be enough to keep him going until the next time they were together.

***