Title: Just Around the Corner
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Brendan Block
Fandom: Doctor Who/Secret Smile
Rating: PG-13
Table: Amnesty in January, 5_prompts
Prompt: 1, from table 2 -- Just around the corner
Warning: past non-con.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Brendan Block, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***


The Doctor sighed as he looked down at the console of the Tardis, unsure as to just where he wanted to take himself and Brendan to. He really felt that they needed to go somewhere and relax, but he knew that Brendan had a tendency to get restless

Even pleasure planets tended to pale after a while -- there was only so much lounging around that they could do, especially given Brendan's excess energy. Though there were ways to harness that energy, the Doctor thought with an inward smirk.

The last pleasure planet they had been to, they hadn't seen much of -- they'd spent most of their time inside the room in the hotel they'd stayed at, making love and sleeping. Brendan had seemed happy then; he'd been smiling more than usual when they were there.

But the Doctor knew how easily his boyfriend could become bored, and the last thing he wanted to do was give Brendan time to brood on what he'd been through with the Master. As much as he tried to avoid even bringing the subject up, it was never far away.

It was hard to avoid, he thought, wincing. There were only so many times he could dance around the fact that Brendan was still wary about being touched; and any time they were discussing the condition of the universe, the Master's name would inevitably come up.

He had no idea whether or not Brendan was still nursing the rage that he could sense building inside the other man for a while after they'd come back to the Tardis safely; but given Brendan's personality, he could only assume that it was still there, bubbling just under the surface.

He didn't blame Brendan at all for that, the Doctor thought with a sigh. He knew all too well how easy it was to slip into that rage, to let it take him over. He'd done it before, and the results had nearly driven him mad -- as well as eaten into a part of his soul.

It had taken him a long time to reach his usual calm center after that, to find himself again. And since then, each and every time he'd had to give in to the Master, he'd buried that rage, kept a tight lock on it and refused to let it take him over.

That was part of what the bastard wanted, the Doctor told himself, his fists clenching in anger. He wanted the two of them to brood, to feel that they were only pawns waiting for his next attack. He wanted them to feel helpless, to feel hunted and cornered.

Well, he wasn't going to let Brendan feel like that. He knew from personal experience what it was like, and if he could save his boyfriend from those damaging emotions, then he would. Though it did pose a problem when he didn't know just how Brendan was feeling.

Would it be a good idea to bring up the subject of the Master, get it all out into the open, let Brendan talk about his fears and his anger? He'd never had anyone to do that for him before, so he didn't know if it would make Brendan feel better or not.

Of course, it could send his lover spiraling into depression -- or possibly heighten his anger. The Doctor chewed thoughtfully at his bottom lip, leaning back in the chair and staring up at the ceiling. He'd never before been so unsure of what would be the right thing to do.

But then again, he'd never faced a situation like this before, had he? He'd never had to deal with knowing that someone he loved might be bottling their emotions up inside them until they came out in a flood of rage. This was completely out of his sphere of experience.

Yet he had to do something; he had to help Brendan either make peace with that anger that the Doctor was sure still simmered inside him, or to take that anger out in constructive ways. The one thing that he couldn't do was ignore it, and simply expect Brendan to let it go.

He'd had no one by his side to help him cope with that anger so many times. He'd had to get through it himself, trying to come to terms with what had been done to him by going over it time and time again in his mind, trying to soothe his restless soul with his own words.

That hadn't been easy to do -- and sometimes, he was sure that there was still a part of him that would go ballistic if he and the Master ever had to face off against each other one-one-one in the future. That rage was still within him, threatening to burst through his veneer of control.

He'd managed to keep it down -- just as Brendan was managing to control his own anger. But Brendan was a very different person; the two of them would handle that anger in different ways. And he wasn't sure just what form his boyfriend's rage might eventually take.

One thing he did know -- he had to help Brendan control it, or learn to deal with it in the best way he could. That was part of the reason they had chosen to be together, wasn't it? So that they could help each other through whatever situations that might arise.

There was a part of him that insisted Brendan was dealing well, that he was coping with the hurt and anger that the Master's attack had caused him. But there was another part that knew Brendan's rage wouldn't be contained for much longer.

Brendan wasn't the kind of man to hold things inside. He could do it for a while, but the Doctor had known since the day they met that he was a volatile personality. And sooner or later, that volatility would come to the surface -- and steamroll over everything in its path.

That's what would happen if it wasn't controlled, if Brendan didn't learn how to cope with what he was feeling. There was a meltdown just around the corner -- and as much as he loved Brendan, the Doctor didn't want to be caught in the middle of it.

So, the best thing to do was to try and avert the meltdown before it happened. But was that possible? he wondered, sighing again. Every instinct told him that Brendan was getting moodier with each day that passed, even though he insisted that the experience was behind him.

All he could do was talk to Brendan, really. Try to make him feel that he wasn't alone, to let him know that he himself had been through the same thing before. And to be there for him, no matter what he might need. He had to open himself to Brendan's pain.

That would also be hard for him to do, given that he'd experienced the same kind of pain himself. But he was more than willing to take that pain into himself, if Brendan was willing to let it go. It was the least he could do for the man he loved.

His own salvation had come in the person of Jack Harkness at one point, the Doctor recalled, then pushed that memory out of his mind. Jack was in his past -- but the immortal had shown him how important it was to have someone by his side when he'd needed them.

Brendan needed that now. If the Doctor drew him out of himself, let him express how he was feeling, then the two of them could lance the wound that was still festering before it had the chance to grow any worse. It was what he had to do, for Brendan's sake.

If he didn't, then he knew his lover would sink into depression or, worse, he would let that anger continue to fester until it came out in ways that neither of them would want to contemplate. Brendan wouldn't want that to happen, any more than he himself did.

Going to a pleasure planet might be a good idea, the Doctor reasoned. He and Brendan could spend more time alone -- and this time, instead of losing themselves in a world of sensation, they would be able to talk, and hopefully his boyfriend could let whatever pain he was feeling drain away.

He was sure that Brendan's salvation from the bitterness that was gathering inside him was just around the corner -- and he was determined to guide his boyfriend away from the darkness that he had no doubt was threatening to engulf the person he loved most in the world.

And as luck would have it, the closest pleasure planet was just around the corner, too. The Doctor jumped to his feet, going to the console and pressing a few buttons. A smile spread over his face as he thought of what Brendan would say, and his reply.

He was going to tell his boyfriend that he'd decided they needed a few days to talk, and to have time away from the rest of the world. Brendan might not want to at first, but he could be convinced that they should take some time to simply be together and enjoy each other.

The Doctor closed his eyes as he leaned against the console, hoping that he was doing the right thing. He had to believe that he could help Brendan -- because if he didn't, then it was only a matter of time before the inevitable meltdown might bury both of them.

***